Editing Dawn of War II (section)

== Characters of Dawn of War II ==
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* '''[[Farseer]] [[Idranel]]''' - She's the incredibly racist Eldar Farseer leading the Eldar on Aurelia. She's more racist than most traditional Eldar and because of this, she spawned the mini-meme "Double Mon-keigh" which is kinda equivalent to Double Heresy. She gets killed in Angel Forge after Tarkus bitch-slaps her with his Terminator armor's power fist.

* '''[[Gabriel Angelos]]''' - DoW's Gabe. From here, his role is more of an advisory and critiquing one since he never appears in-person in a mission (apart from the final mission against the Tyranids). <s>Will probably</s> Returns in Retribution, leading the remnants of the loyalist Blood Ravens against Kyras <s>(though, sadly, he is once again not available to play)</s> Playable only in the tutorial mission for Retribution, but that means fuckall.

* '''[[Davian Thule|Davian Cool]]''' - Makes his return to DoW as a dreadnought this time around, causing him to easily be an ace in the hole for most missions thereafter. In the expansion he can rip apart enemy vehicles and turn them into health and damage upgrades for the rest of your marines (which mysteriously disappear after your current deployment - he was only using duct tape). His Alzheimers seems to have improved somewhat, and he is capable of speaking more than two sentences before forgetting that he left the iron on back at the chapter keep. He is awesome in-game, capable of killing armies by smacking his fist on the ground resulting in tyranid/ork/eldar/[[Cultist|kay-oss]] spess mehreen giblets at a rather ridiculous distance (the radius is twice as long as he is tall at maximum) and also stunning everything that is still alive for just a few seconds shorter than the time it takes for this ability to recharge. He can also sweep his assault cannon and instagib everything in a 90 degree angle in front of him, or he can use the multimelta sweep (best leveled up) and melt entire armies (as long as they are at close range) and erase titanic amounts of a boss's health in one go (because Predator armor is really painted butter), which makes fucking bullshit bosses like [[Ulkair]] and [[Martellus]] far more manageable. In addition he can charge and gib everything in his path, shatter cover, taunt vehicles and walkers to a one on one duel (if he's venerable and wins, he grants your entire strike force a fuckhueg bonus), lastly he can shut down and regenerate his health really quickly and, if you put enough points into stamina, he can still be controlled in this state (although his speed is reduced to a crawl). He's totally awesome as a Venerable dreadnought because he'll be killing enemies so frequently that you'll pretty much always have an combat bonus up. Once you get him, you'll wonder how you ever lived without him. He is sadly killed in Retribution by Eliphas (maybe), and many shed manly tears upon his (probable) death.

* '''[[Blood Ravens Force Commander|The Force Commander]]''' (Aliases include: FC Hair Gel and FC Vanilla Ice) - Is declared renegade after Chaos Rising (no, not hair-esy, just regular heresy. He's already a hair-etic). Despite being called, 'the only guido ever to assume the rank of Force Commander', the Force Commander's voice is provided by the same guy who does Gabe's voice in DoWII. This makes his voice in the cinematic make him sound quite old and gruff when compared to Thaddeus. This was likely done because no one would want to play a teeny guido voiced Spess Mehreen. EVER. Is also, paradoxically enough, from the Jersey Shore. Got declared a renegade and left behind the b&hammer he dropped on Ulkair for Diomedes. Calls the 'Hammer of the Nameless', it's a kick in the balls to those who downed Ulkair with Lightning Claws or specced him into a shooty Force commander.  His name is Aramus in the novels, though various conflicts between the novels & games canon has many fans insisting Aramus is a totally different guy. They're bitches like that. 

* '''[[Avitus]]''' - Hates balls-of-steel Guardsmen with a passion due to the Kronus campaign. He was also <s>molested</s> brutalized by them during childhood, never fully accepting that he probably deserved it. During the game he expresses anger at everything, including anger at his own chapter for numerous reasons, making statements bordering on treason by the rigid standards of a Space Marine chapter. He's just an angry guy. He frequently asks aliens to show him their fury; or in fuckwit's terms, to get angry at him. He will also very, very frequently say "more corpses" after leaving yet another Xeno/Heretic dead. When he's in terminator armor he has an assault cannon by default, which is awesome, and can also mount a shoulder-mounted cyclone missile launcher to fuck vehicles and infantry over, but his squadmates still have storm bolters; it's not really a problem, since by level 30 their storm bolters will still deal like 1000 damage per shot against freaking tanks. In canon, he was actually the traitor in the Force Commander's squad, and was slain by Tarkus. <s>If</s> [[canon|When]] he turns to chaos he turns into a Khornate Terminator Havoc (TT doesn't really have a designation for heavy raged chaos termies), fucking your shit up with assault cannon sweeps and cyclone missile barrages.

* '''[[Cyrus|Spike Spiegel]]''' (AKA Wolverine or sometimes even Cyrus or Nancy) - Will whine, cry, and generally detest everything and anything that happens as a matter of character and principle.  He's trying so hard to be a misunderstood badass. Just so hard, the poor deluded fool - although to his benefit he is hard to understand. It's hard to understand what his fucking problem is, for example. He was probably [[FATAL|raped by Tyranids]] while he was in Deathwatch. Is voiced by the normally hot blooded [[Steve Blum]]... What the fuck happened, Steve? If he turns traitor he tries to stage a coup, citing the [[fail|incompetence]] of leaders like [[Indrick Boreale]] (making it the one emotional outburst the player will actually sympathize with). Along with Tarkus he has the honor of being the most ridiculously unbalanced character in the game. Once you level up his will and strength discipline high enough, he can cloak for virtually the entirety of a mission and shit explosives WHILE cloaked. So yeah, with a bit of microing, he can basically fuck over everything alone when he's equipped with free remote charges and mines, throw in a sniper rifle to get rid of pesky high-value targets and an access to an easy suppression weapon and there's basically nothing <s>short of end-game bosses</s> can stop him. Have fun with that.

[[Image:Tarkus.jpg|thumb|right|Tarkus [[/tg/ gets shit done|gets shit done]].]]
* '''[[Tarkus]]''' - Killed a Necron Tomb Spyder on Kronus by shoving a grenade into its head, a clever ploy which led to the loss of his arm (replaced by cybernetics), his hair, and half of his face. Apparently he also owns a flamer awarded to him by the Salamanders Chapter, since the Salamanders don't really know what else to give people on any occasion. Unlike Avitus and Cyrus, who could never blend into most known societies today because both struggle desperately to understand more than one human emotion at a time, Tarkus is actually pretty normal for a Space Marine. What little angst he does display is usually about the sorry state of the chapter, or his intense hatred of [[Eldar|spess elves]]. If he turns traitor he decides to save the chapter by going on a psychotic killing spree with his new BFF, a possessed bolter. In game Tarkus is stupidly unbalanced. If his will discipline is leveled high enough, he can both spam grenades and can master the fine art of Grenade Fu, which allows him to throw 3 grenades at once, guaranteeing that anything in a tight formation is blow to smithereens. If you max out his stamina he literally cannot die while tactical advance is active, cementing the poor bastard's position as a breathing orbital strike beacon for the rest of the game. His taunts make everyone RAGE.

* '''The [[Khaine|Avatar of Khaine]]''' - The avatar of [[Khaela Mensha Khaine]] is summoned once in both the vanilla game and Chaos Rising by the Eldar. He was a motherfucker of a boss during the original game due having the highest health of any enemy in the original campaign, insane damage and calling in loads of Fire Prisms, but was somewhat easier in Chaos Rising.

* '''[[Scott McNeil]]''' - SCOTT MCNEIL! MIGHTY IS HE!!!

* '''[[Thaddeus]]''' - Supposedly an ex hive ganger. This is almost impossible to believe for a number of reasons. One is that Thaddeus is probably the most hair-etical member of the bunch, especially considering how he manages to make that shit stay despite flying around with a jet pack all day. Two is that he's the one who decides to start whining in the middle of the game about how emotionally jarring it is to become a Space Marine (which Cyrus aggressively approved of). I'm pretty sure gangsters rape you for that nonsense. Though it's difficult to tell due to the lighting in his talking head's box, he has blond hair; and as we all know, all blond men are evil [[Sanguinius|(Sphess Vampire Angel disapproves)]]. If he turns traitor he decides he saved everybody in the first game and that he needs to "save" you, by assault jumping on your face until you stop moving.

* '''Gordian The Apothecary''' - Aside from Tarkus, the only other character in the game who's dialog does not strictly adhere to only one human emotion. Made a minor appearance in the Dark Crusade after action reports. Called out Cyrus on his pessimistic bullshit. Was killed when the Armageddon was shot down.

* '''[[Martellus]] the Techmarine''' - Some lazy fuckwit on board a strike cruiser who's sole job it is to tell you bad news. Is secretly Spike Spiegel. His Thunderhawk crashed on Typhon shortly before the final battle in the vanilla game and, using only plot-armor, managed to survive for a year alone and crippled against Ork lootas, Tyranid remnants and the newly arrived Chaos Marines. You find him in one of the first Chaos Rising missions, and it's the only mission where you can control him. If he becomes the traitor he expresses some displeasure about the whole being left to die thing, and expresses it by busting out a custom BAWKS that does fucking retarded amounts of damage and takes fucking forever to kill. In an actual plot TWEEST, Martellus is CONFIRMED in Retribution as being a Blood Raven loyalist along with Tarkus, Cyrus and Diomedes. Actually, he's a pretty cool guy, in that he's not as aggressively annoying as Cyrus. Did I mention he has an [[awesome]] helm and is double red?

* '''Governor Vandis''' - The planetary Governor of Meridian and the most useless character in Dawn of War 2. Instead of helping the player, he just got high in his pleasure palace while two strippers sucked his dingy. He also tried to out-Blood Raven the Blood Ravens by stealing their artifacts ([[wat|including full suits of Terminator armor]]), but was caught when Angel Gate was attacked, and so his attempt failed. In Chaos rising he committed heresy and joined up with the Black Legion to attack the newly promoted Governor Derosa's holdings in hope of regaining leadership. He lost. Oh, right, you never see him.

* '''Governor Ellena Derosa''' - An adviser to Governor Vandis and eventually the de facto Governor of all of Meridian after Vandis took off to his playboy mansion and left the planet to die to the Tyranids and Chaos forces, she's also the only useful Imperial Guard commander in the series (up until Retribution anyway). She was originally told by Vandis to stall the Blood Ravens, but had enough of his bullshit and finally helped the Blood Ravens in their defense against the Tyranids and Chaos legions in both games. She also told Thaddeus to fuck off when she had enough of his criticism. Avitus has the hots for her since you don't normally see too many Imperial Guard officers who can tell Space Marine Sergeants to shut the fuck up and listen, but unfortunately for him she is a [[heresy|xenos loving]] [[Idranel#Dear_.27Farseer.27_Part_One|lesbian]] .

* '''Warboss Bonesmasha''' - The Ork Warboss who's supposedly the Warboss of the entire Waaaagh! on Aurelia. He can be fought in an optional mission near the end, which rewards you with another Terminator suit. He's famous in DoWII for having a FUCKING high health counter and ridiculous damage, the highest of any unit boss in the game. The Tyranid Hive Tyrant Alpha has nothing on this guy.  Hell, he is so Orky that he can withstand multiple lance strikes from orbiting ships. Though hilariously, with a bit of tactics and a max-leveled Cyrus with a sniper rifle and remote charges/mines or a well-built Tarkus/Hairgel tag-team, you can pretty much solo him without much trouble.