Editing Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer (section)

==Actual Contents of Value==
Despite much of the above (and a lot of what the above lists is ''not'' exaggeration), the Primer actually has a great deal of genuinely useful information in it. Included useful segments include:
* How to take care of your weapon and equipment. Sure, it's only a [[Lasgun|lasgun]], but it still beats trying to go at [[Orks|basically]] [[Tyranids|anything]] [[Chaos Space Marines|that can]] [[Necron|Come up]] [[Eldar|in front]] ([[Dark Eldar|or behind]]) [[Chaos Daemons|the Guard]] hand-to-hand with a knife.
* The "First Aid" section. Sure, a direct hit from most weapons in 40k will kill a Guardsman outright or make him wish he was dead. Nevertheless, ensuring every grunt knows the basics of how to bind a wound or move a casualty without harming him further gives those that are still alive better chances to <s>survive</s> die gloriously for the God-Emperor of Mankind in another engagement.
* Numerous prayers and hymnals to the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], and how to placate your gear's [[Machine Spirit]].
**Not Included: ''The Litany of Stealth'' (which is an inside joke.)
* Numerous bits of insight on tactics, weapon analysis, and how to keep oneself sane in a given war. Included are segments from the Tactica Imperium, information on how to set frag grenades as booby-traps, how to operate, maintain, and modify lasguns, and numerous bits of information explaining why it's so important that the [[Imperium of Man]] send millions to die all across the Segmentum Solar (tactical importance of the current campaign in terms that the grunts can understand, so they fight with more clarity of purpose).
** Believe it or not, the Primer does give a nifty example about positioning like taking cover and planning an ambush; granted while the thought of ambushing a group of Eldar and using a a pile of masonry/scenery to protect yourself from anything heavier than Autogun fire is both dubious and questionable at best, it does poke holes in the rather retarded notion that the Guard are a bunch of brainless lemmings who run into death without a second thought.
* Why the Commissar is there to help you and not simply execute your ass to be a dick (mileage may vary).
* Helpful suggestions on how to impress the aforementioned [[Commissar]] with suicidally-brave acts of heroism.
* Crazy as some of the punishments sound, others are pretty valid and about what you'd see in a real-world military out on the field.
** Guardsmen are explicitly forbidden, on penalty of death, to do any looting, murdering, arsoning, or general dickery when dealing with human insurrections. Like speed limits it's probably not always followed, but it gives a nice debunking to the idea of the Guard gunning down the whole population of a planet the second a few of them get angry and leave the Imperium.
* How to procure food and water in a survival situation.
* Why the [[Chaos|ruinous powers]] are bad, how to recognize when someone is under their sway... {{BLAM|FOR OFFICERS EYES ONLY. ARE YOU AN OFFICER? NO!? '''*BLAM!*'''}} and why you should put your faith in the Emprah. 
* Correct ways to conduct [[Cadian Shock Troops|fieldcraft]] and [[Death Korps of Krieg|trench warfare]].
* The proper use on how to [[Reasonable Marines|take cover and use said cover in a fight]]. (*GASP* THEY USE COVER!?)
* Information on [[Sly Marbo|demolition and sabotage]] tactics.
* Why the [[Tau|dreaded space communists]] are bad and eat babies, even though the eating babies is a lie {{BLAM|HERESY!}}{{BLAM}}
* Why the [[Eldar]] are untrustworthy fucks, though the Imperium is no better {{BLAM|HERETICS LIKE YOURSELF ARE NOT WORTHY OF THE TRUTH! '''*BLAM!*'''}}.
* Why you should focus and shoot the big ones whenever you are fighting [[Tyranids]]. This is the one and only piece of information on a xenos race in the whole book that is accurate and helpful.
* Why leading by example is important (I.E. how to grow the Guardsman standard-issue stainless steel balls. It's a lot like a Chia-pet.)
* Jokes and mocking of the enemy. (The infamous "Litany of Stealth".)
* [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|Why humanity is the rightful heir to the universe,]] [[Skub|and thus how purging xenos and heretics is doing the Emperor's work.]]
* [[Grimdark|A death notice to be filled out by the trooper's commander and/or Commissar, to speed up informing the next of kin to the trooper's inevitable and almost certainly horrible demise.]]
* Grimdark as the whole thing is, once you get past the rules and numerous punishable-by-death infractions, it's a surprisingly ''hopeful'' book, with reminders that soldier can attain glory, respect, and above all, the Emperor's favor. When up to your knees in cockney roid-raging Shreks, swarms of lizard-bug aliens eating your friends or self-repairing skele-bots with disintegration guns, it's nice to be reminded that you're fighting for your family, your Emperor, and your people, and that you ''can'' weather the storm. You probably won't, but you can.