Editing The Toilets of the 41st Millennium (section)

==Accursed Toilets of the Chaos Space Marines==

[[Alpha Legion]] - Any toilet may in fact be an <s>Alpha Legion toilet</s> Alpha Legionnaire.

[[Black Legion]] - No toilets of their own, though they were constantly trying to use the ones on Cadia, but then they blew Cadia up, so now they're trying to use the ones on Terra. (Come on, Man, you've been on the toilet for the past 10,000 years!)

[[Blood Disciples]] - Theirs have jump packs mounted.

[[Death Guard]] - Trust me, you don't wanna use them. Mortarion's toilet is Nurgle's bigass cauldron where he mixes diseases.

[[Emperor's Children]] - Everyone takes turns being the toilet.

[[Iron Warriors]] - Difficult to get to with all the razorwire and trenches, may turn out to have merely been a decoy with no actual toilet in there. Perturabo has not been seen taking a toilet break, which raises questions about the enlarged back and hip portions of his terminator armor.

[[Night Lords]] - Stall walls are covered in horrible graffiti art, closet with bat wings constantly screams and a jump pack attached. Surrounded by peepholes, leaving one in constant terror that they might be observed.

[[Red Corsairs]] - Toilets are stolen from loyalist stalls. [[Huron Blackheart]]'s personal commode is made as a crude mockery of the Golden Throne and is a contender for the most twisted and mutated toilet in the galaxy.

[[Sons of Malice]] - They have no toilets of their own, but they will shit a pipe-clogger in loyalist AND in Chaos toilets alike. Malal may bless a Son of Malice with a toilet when necessary, but only by stealing the toilet from someone else who desperately needed a shit as well. The Sons of Malice do produce the best ghost shits in honour of their patron god.

[[Thousand Sons]] - While Rubric Marines are using cat litter, Aspiring Sorceres are using very comfortable gold coverd closets which are also blessed by Rubric of Ahriman. When Magnus does, his shit may appear on any time and in any place in the galaxy, totally randomly.

[[Word Bearers]] - Fairly normal aside from the hymns playing in the stall speakers, until you realize it's out of paper and must ask the dark gods for some. Tzeentch might bless you with the softest paper to ever caress your anus, or sandpaper, or something in between. Slaanesh will give you a blob with writhing tentacles and tongues, Khorne will just make you go into a berserker [[RAGE]] over the lack of [[Cornholio_the_Cultist|TP <s>for your bunghole</s>]] and you don't wanna know what Nurgle will give you. <s>(What about Undivided?)</s> If you're Undivided, then you won't need to wipe since the dark gods have clearly given you the gift of a [[Nurgle|filthy]], itchy arse that makes you [[Khorne|angrily]] scratch for [[Slaanesh|relief]] and wishing for a [[Tzeentch|change]] in underpants. Lorgar seems to still be sitting on his porcelain throne, while Erebus possibly uses the same giant Reese's goblet he then drinks from, hence his sheer douchiness.

[[World Eaters]] - Mostly destroyed when berserkers enraged while trying to figure out how to flush the toilets. World Eaters piss blood and shits skulls any way, so they don't need toilets, with the exception of Angron, who might just calm down and ease up on the bloodlust if he finds one suitable to him.