Editing Katanas are Underpowered in d20 (section)

==Bacon is underpowered in D20==
That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Rations” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Bacon deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine helping of bacon in the American South for 10 dollars, plus tax (that’s about $10.50) and have been eatin bacon steadily for almost 2 years now. I can even belch clouds of bacon-bits after dinner.

Cooks spend years working on a single strip of bacon and fry it up to a million times to produce the finest pork product known to mankind.

Bacon strips are thrice as tasty as Canadian bacon and thrice as savory for that matter too. Any stomach a slice of ham can fill up, a strip of bacon can fill up better. I’m pretty sure a slice of bacon could easily tame the hunger of a sumo wrestler during a breakfast meal.

Ever wonder why European cooks never have shows in America? That’s right, they were too scared to try and cook a slice of bacon, fearing its subtle flavors. Even in World War II, Axis soldiers targeted American soldiers with food supplies first because their packages of bacon were highly valued and superbly fulfilling. And they were hungry.

So what am I saying? Bacon is simply the best food that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Bacon:

(One-Handed Exotic Foodstuff)

1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to deliciousness
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Foodstuff)

2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to deliciousness
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the delicious power of Bacon in real life, don’t you think?