Editing Oinkbane (section)

== The Memoirs of Oinkbane ==
    Oinkbane's first recorded hit according to Refrek Spine Snapper
    > Oinkbane is hired to assassinate a wealthy individual
    > Man comes back after a long day
    > Oinkbane stands in the center of the room, a blanket over his head
    > Sign on the blanket reads "not an assassin"
    > "Dammit, this is the third time this week. Just come out."
    > Oinkbane doesn't move, shuffles a little to the right.
    > "I know you're under that."
    > "No you don't."
    > "Yes I do, I didn't have a large talking lump in the middle of my livingroom this morning."
    > Man walks over and pulls off the blanket, revealing a stack of pillows.
    > For a moment he merely stands there confused.
    > Oinkbane drops from the ceiling, swinging an oversized mallet back and forth
    > "SNEAK ATTACK!!!"
And thus Oinkbane's weapon became his oversized mallet/hammer.
    >King is passing by farm to stay at local inn
    >Notices the farm's enclosure for pigs.
    >Notices that one of the pigs is, in fact, a wereboar, on his hands and knees, rooting around.
    >Turns to his guard. "Oh great, it's this fucker we've been hearing about, go deal with him."
    >His guard is suddenly Oinkbane.
    >MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!

    >Wealthy merchant walking down city street at night.
    >Pauses, as he sees something in the middle of the road. 
    >There is a very clearly marked X, painted in white, in the middle of the road. 
    >Merchants turns, takes side alley.
    >Keeps walking
    >Finds another big white X in his path.
    >Quickly takes a different road.
    >Nearly home
    >Finds big white X in front of his door.
    >Takes the back door in, has his guards comb the house
    >This potential assassin is clearly a retard
    >Goes upstairs, gets in bed
    >Puts head on pillow
    >Some shit is on the pillow
    >Turns on the light, it's white paint. 
    >Oinkbane crashes through the window
    >Screaming "MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!"

    > Oinkbane is one again hired to kill someone.
    > A wealthy merchant hears a knock on his door, there is a large crate on his door step.
    > On the side painted crudely are the words "IZ NOT AN ASSASSIN."
    > "I didn't order anything."
    > After a listening at the crate he hears breathing inside.
    > Takes the crate inside.
    > Opens up the crate.
    > Filled with several sheep.
    > Oinkbane rolls out from under the man's bed
    > Smacks him on the back of the head with his hammer.
    > "SNEAK ATTACK!!!"

    >Oinkbane is hired to assassinate a crime lord
    >Day of the crime lord's daughter's wedding
    >Crime lord is greeting people, daughter and groom are dancing
    >One of the appitizer tables begins moving, guards move to intercept.
    >Oinkbane jumps out of the wedding cake, crushing the crime lord's skull.
    >"TOOOOO SUBTLE!"

    >Princess about to meet her groom-to-be
    >Arranged marriage, never met him before
    >Guards everywhere
    >She's sat on a throne on a raised dais
    >Groom comes in
    >he's rather ugly-looking, piglike face, hairy
    >guards crowd around him, suspicious, leaving few guards near the princess
    >OinkBane bursts out of floor of dais, kills princess
    >"My tactics are too subtle for you!"

    >> Local baron has been causing trouble
    >> Bounty placed on his head
    >> One day a giant wooden boar on wheels appears
    >> A note saying ' I IZ PRESENT'
    >> Baron takes it into his castle
    >> Guards examine it carefully
    >> Oinkbane breaks down castle gates
    >> Kills baron with mallet
    >> "TOOOO SUBTLE"
    

    >Target is walking home
    >Big fucker making oinking noises is following him
    >Not being fooled
    >Calls the cops
    >Cops come pull big oinking fucker away
    >Goes home
    >Eats Dinner
    >Watches some porn online
    >Plays some vidya
    >Goes to /tg/
    >Sees thread on wereboar assassin
    >Reads thread
    >Laughs self nearly to death
    >Regains sides
    >Drinks some Coke
    >Does some work on the computer
    >Browses other /tg/ threads
    >Turns off computer
    >Oinksbane smashes through ceiling.
    >"MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU"

    >Rich merchant hears of assassination attempt
    >increases sentries and guardsmen
    >entire fort outfitted
    >armed to the teeth
    >receive letter from courier
    >it's from Oinkbane
    >inside, just the words TOO SUBTLE
    >then, nothing
    >4 weeks later, another letter arrives
    >inside, SNEAK ATTACK
    >nothing again
    >1 more month
    >third letter
    >picture of the merchant, dead
    >"merchant" has been Oinkbane in disguise for the past month

    >Oinkbane is hired to kill someone
    >Its winter
    >Man comes home.
    >looks at the giant and small snowman the neigbour's kids must of built
    >He hears loud breathing coming out of the big one
    >"Is someone inside there?"
    >"No"
    >Man starts trying to take snow off from the huge snowman
    >Suddenly Oinkbane appears through the smaller snowman
    >"SNEAK ATTAAAAAACK"

    > Oinkbane hired to to assassinate someone over christmas
    > Christmas night the man wakes up, sounds like something is on his roof.
    > Walks downstairs, something is knocking soot down his chimney
    > Presents sit around the tree
    > Man grabs a fire poker from its place by the fire
    > Suddenly a black booted foot appears in the bottom of the chimney
    > Present behind the man burst open
    > Oinkbane leaps out and smashes him over the head.
    > "TOO SUBTLE!!!"

    >Oinkbane is hired to do yet another wedding assassination.
    >The bride's father walks her up the isle.
    >Tears and crying from the audience.
    >The priest begins the ceremony.
    >A huge claoked figure is pushing his way through the crowd!
    >Guards move to intercept.
    >Preist continues the ceremony phlegmatically.
    >Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
    >I do.
    >Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
    >The bride nods.
    >There is a first breaking out between the hooded figure and the guards.
    >The groom leans in and lifts the wife's veil.
    >"TOO SUBTLE!" Oinkbane screams, after kissing the groom.

    >party of adventurers have caught the ire of a corrupt lord
    >a hit is called on them
    >they move through the city cautiously 
    >as they pass through the market they spot a hideously ugly woman pushing around an enormous baby carriage with great difficulty 
    >party draws weapons and begin to harass the ugly woman and child
    >suddenly the nearby shop window explodes, peppering the party with shards of glass and stunning them
    >Oinkbane stumbles out half blind and deaf, swinging a mallet
    >"THIS IS A SNEAK ATTACK"

    > Oinkbane is hired to assassinate a paranoid noble
    > The noble is in his heavily guarded gallery when he notices a picture of a wereboar that wasn't there previously
    > Having studied Oinkbane's previous exploits, the noble knows the one place Oinkbane is definitely not is this painting so he huddles close to it
    > There is a figure close to the door
    > Noble orders his guards to charge it
    > A hammer crushes the noble's skull at that moment, it came from the painting
    > "SNEAK ATTAAAAAAAAACK!"

    > Oinkbane is hired to kill a traveling merchant
    > The man has heard of Oinkbane by reputation, and watches the forest
    > For days as he travels nothing happens
    > Finally he makes it to a city and unpacks his barrels of wine
    > What's this huge barrel?
    > It's much larger than the others and he didn't remember purchasing it.
    > A sign of the side reads "IZ RELLY SLIPPY JUICE"
    > Slowly takes it out and pulls his emergency sword from under the seat
    > Stabs the casket
    > No squeals, simply wine
    > Where did this wine com---
    > From the sky a oink rings out
    > Oinkbane just dropped from holding onto the legs of several birds
    > "TOO SUBTLE!"

    >A contact requests for Oinkbane's services. The task? Remove the proprietor of the Whistlepig Whiskey Distillery
    >Late one night, a large wooden crate with bore holes shows up at the gate to the distillery, appended with a note with the words                   
    >"WhIsTLIng pIg-OBAIn" scrawled in greasepen
    >Guards don't know what the fuck, but it whistles...
    >... Fuck it.
    >Proprietor shows up that morning with his reading glasses, paranoid but confident he'll survive the competition
    >Notices the crate in the center of the warehouse, checks the arrival logs, goes pale when he reads the last entry
    >motions for the guards
    >Guards get their pigstickers and try to kill Oinkbane through the boreholes
    >The crate shudders and screams as A HUGE WHISTLING PIG FUCKING TURNS THE CRATE AND MOB OF GUARDS INTO SPLINTERS, THEN ROOTS THROUGH THE WAREHOUSE IN A PANIC
    >The Proprietor panics and runs for his office where he hides behind a novelty miniature distillery made of hammered-together copper and driftwood
    >Wait, why's this miniature distillery so big?
    >The lid of the mash tun pops open as two holes for very hairy, soggy arms appear
    >"MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU"
    >Two holes appear in the Distillery wall a half-hour later. Authorities are trying to locate the whistling pig, a novelty distillery set, the missing proprietor, and 
    >whoever made the second fucking hole.

    > Oinkbane needs to kill another wealthy individual.
    > He is having an enormous dinner party.
    > He knows about the assassination and so has someone tasting all his food. He also heard that Oinkbane is a particularly ingenious assassin known for using distractions
    > "Sir, the food is clean."
    > "And the wine?"
    > "Yes sir, and the wine."
    > "Any suspicious individuals around?"
    > "No sir, everyone has their invitation"
    > Suddenly they bring out the main course, a roasted boar, it's still under the cover.
    > The wealthy lord realizes the were-boar's plans and stares down the platter
    > "Could this be... a distraction?"
    > Lights go out, noise and screams are heard
    > BUT WE ARE INITIATED, AREN'T WE BRUCE?
    > Some servants bring candles in
    > The nobleman is found dead, apparently bludgeoned to death by a roasted boar
    > a greasy letter with a pig-insignia is left behind, with only these cryptic words in it: 2SUBTLE4YOU

    > Group of adventurers face off against Oinkbane in attempt to stop him once and for all
    > Defeat his multiple forms, some involving huge tentacles
    > They stand triumphant, having saved the country
    > Collect enormous amounts of treasure and what not.
    > At the award ceremony the princess comes up to the party leader, a veil covering her face
    > She hands him a note.
    > "I was told, I needed to give this to you."
    > All the note says "TOO SUBTLE"
    > The party leader looks around in panic, lifts the princess veil
    > Just a normal princess
    > Looks around at all the windows... no crashing glass
    > Looks in the treasure, no were boar
    > Checks the food, no pork on the menu
    > No large crates around...
    > Where could he be?
    > A small oink comes from the party behind him, in turn they say
    > TOO
    > SUBTLE
    > FOR
    > YOU
    > The party and its leader were never heard from again

    >PC's have encountered Oinkbane before and barely escaped with their lives. They alone know his subtle ways
    >go to a new city to start over and lie low
    >get recruited by the local lord for a covert mission
    >There have been a spate of mysterious and brutal deaths in the city
    >the deaths are so brutal it's assumed only an intelligent animal could have done such damage yet escaped each time
    >The PC's know better
    >the PCs have tracked it down to a gigantic warehouse
    >smashed equipment is everywhere
    "I…I roll to track"
    >the trail of destruction leads to a closed loading bay
    >bloody drag marks lead to the closed doors
    >PC's spend half an hour summoning up their courage to run in
    >PC's slowly open the door… and breathe a sigh of relief
    "Will you look at that! It's just a White Dragon! Wonder how nobody saw it
    >suddenly the dragon opens it's eyes and desperately strains against the chain holding it there, looking at a spot behind the PC's in terror
    >The door slams shut behind them
    "TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!!"

    >Man suspects Oinkbane is after him
    >Buys a massive fortress, guards, magical security out the wazoo
    >Has all mysterious crates, oinking strangers, ominous snowmen, veiled women, moving trees, pillow forts, paintings, Steves, large pigs, butcher shops and overly suspicious bushes in the area exterminated with extreme prejudice
    >Lives a lonely, paranoid life
    >Old and in bed, exhausted and at edge of death
    >Hooded cleric walks in to ease him into afterlife
    >Old man realizes he never called a cleric
    >Pulls off the hood and reveals a broom
    >Oinkbane's head appears from under the bed
    >"TOO SUBTLE!!"

    Oinkbane and Creed team up:
    >Abbadon the Despoiler lands on Cadia. 
    >Marches his forces towards the Capital
    >Suddenly finds a mysterious shack standing in the middle of the warzone, brightly painted and declaring "FREE ARMZ INCIDE"
    >CREED, OF COURSE!
    >Abbadon has forces demolish shack
    >Suddenly, Kharn rips off his helmet, revealing wereboar features
    >TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU
    >Abadon is mercilessly beaten, but Oinkbane is obliterated in a storm of bolter shells
    >Enraged, Abbadon kicks the corpse
    >A Baneblade falls out
    >CREEEEEEEEEEEEED!
    >Baneblade runs over Abbadon and destroys his guard, but is crippled and wrecked.
    >Suddenly hatch on Baneblade pops open
    >Oinkbane Leaps out
    >TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU
    >Abbadon is beaten by a hammer
    >Khorne, help me!
    >Portal to the Warp opens, summoning a demon to aid him
    >It is only a confused Steve
    >CREEEEEED?!?!?!
Anonymous: This is like Inception but with tactical genius and manpigs.
Anonymous: Just wait until wereboars are declared official Abhumans, fit for recruitment into the Imperial Guard.
Anonymous: And suddenly, all of /tg/ was converting Oinkbane to use as Sly Marbo.
Anonymous: Imagine Oinkbane with Tzeentch's blessing. Maybe Oinkbane is Tzeentch incarnate.
Anonymous: Subtlety and just as planned have reached critical levels.

    > Planet is being invaded by tyranids
    > Guardsmen have been terrorized by lictors for days
    > Rumons that the death leaper is there
    > Guards sitting around camp, hearing scratches in the walls
    > Suddenly enormous crashes come from outside
    > A lictor jumps out, ready to scythe a guard
    > TOO SUBTLE
    > Oinkbane bursts through an air vent and kicks the lictor in the face
    > Another lictor jumps out to slice him
    > Oinkbane was actually a cleverly sculpted pile of ork droppings
    > Oinkbane bursts through the ceiling and snaps the lictor's neck
    > A third lictor comes out of a air vent and smacks Oinkbane out the window
    > Is in a hive city so it's a several thousand food drop
    > As oinkbane flies out the window he flies through the other
    > "SNEAK ATTACK!!"
    > Four days later the entire hive fleet has been tuned back, including an entire hive ship mysteriously exploding in on itself...

    >Guards on watch for Oinkbane, protecting their liege.
    >Find suspicious looking guy loitering around town
    >Arrest Steve
    >Question Steve about the whereabouts of Oinkbane
    >Steve knows nothing
    >Head guard - "Wait... is Oinkbane a Wereboar? This could be Oinkbane!"
    >Hapless Steve is beaten up by guards
    >Suddenly window is smashed by giant wereboar
    >Guards turn and begin to combat Oinkbane
    >Oinkbane lays on the floor whimpering
    >Turns out its Steve in an oversized Wereboar costume
    >If this is Steve...
    >Oinkbane rips off his undersized Steve costume
    >"TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU"

So let's get this straight.
Oinkbane:
A.Changes his appearence at will
B.Is a master of tactics and stealth
C.Has unstoppable physical strength
D.Can predict events far in advance
E.Manipulates his hapless foes so he can kill them quicker...
at this point all we need is for him to be voiced by Scott McNeil and we can then confirm he's Alpharius.
Or Omegon.
Or Both.
Anonymous: No, Alpharius is Oinkbane
Anonymous: So Oinkbane human form is also alpharius? Fucking primarch...

    >Powerful Wizard learns he is being targeted by Oinkbane.
    >Scoffs at the idea of being undone by some pitiful wereboar.
    >Sequesters himself inside his mighty wizard tower.
    >Begins using divining magic to see what the assassin has been up to recently.
    >Finds Oinksbane entering the shop the wizard regularly purchases his food from.
    >Casts a spell to seal off the kitchen and detect any danger in his food.
    >Sees Oinkbane then head to the shop where the wizard purchases his robes and hats.
    >Casts a spell to make sure his clothes are not a danger, or a cleverly disguised wereboar.
    >Sees Oinkbane visiting a metalworking shop to purchase a set of tools for cutting through metal.
    >Casts a spell to turn his legion of iron golems transparent so they could not possibly hide the assassin within.
    >Finally sees Oinksbane standing in a field somewhere far from the tower.
    >"Ok, Steve, Hit it!"
    >Wizard hears an unearthly loud creaking of wood and iron in the distance.
    >Looks out window.
    >Horizon is filled with the rapidly growing specks of boulders fired from what must have been an ungodly number of trebuchets.
    >In the moments before the tower is hit, the Wizard notices, on the first stone to come into view, something carved in the side.
    >"TOO"
    >Wizard panics, but summons up a giant wall of ice to capture the boulders mere feet before they impact.
    >Takes a deep breath to calm himself.
    >From within the ice-wall one of the boulders begins to shake.
    >The actually-paper-mache boulder and the ice around it burst as a furiously flailing wereboar bursts out.
    >"SUBTLE FOR YOU!"

    >Wealthy landed knight hears rumours that Oinkbane has been set on his head.
    >Contracts the construction of a double palisade and moat to his castle
    >Triples his personal guard.
    >Boxes start appearing within his domain.
    >He has wizards blow them skyhigh.
    >This carries on for weeks, escalating in intensity.
    >Most of the surrounding baronies lax their security, what with all the racket, and have a good laugh.
    >Knight runs himself into poverty, develops anxiety disorder.
    >Barely eats food, constantly receives bacon pizza deliveries he never ordered.
    >Considers suicide to be rid of it all.
    >Suddenly
    >Sixty miles away, in a nobleman's house
    >"SUBTLE!!"
    >Oinkbane bursts from within his bedframe and murders his actual target.

Anonymous: I would hire him to kill the deities and enjoy the show.
    > Oinkbane is sitting on a rock outside of camp
    > "Oinkbane, what are you doing?"
    > "I iz thinkin' of way to kill fancy sky man."
    > Oinkbane is holding his hammer and starring at the clouds.
    > "Fancy sky man?"
    > "You know, big men, wear dress, shoot lighting, have bea--" Oinkbane stops mid sentence... 
    > "You mean a god?" 
    > "NO, IT PERFECT! GOD JUST LIKE WIZARD, ONLY FIGHT WIZARD WITH WIZARD."
    > The sack of potatoes disguised as Oinkbane sitting on the rock falls over, from his tent Oinkbane bursts out wearing his dress and beaver.
    > Oinkbane starts firing magic into the sky scream "TOO SUBTLE!"
Anonymous: Every time someone references the beaver I imagine it alive and not happy about the situation and trying to escape his face.
Anonymous: Yes, but he's strapped it on with leather cords.
Anonymous: What if the beaver is actually magic?
Refrek Spine Snapper: So... like it's not in the beard... but the beaver itself it the magic bit?
Anonymous: He uses a different beaver each time. It isn't having a beard or having a beaver. It's having both and being subtle about it.
Refrek Spine Snapper: And the dress... don't forget the dress. That's why women do more hidden magic. They're more subtle about hiding their beavers than wizards are.
Anonymous: "They're more subtle about hiding their beavers than wizards are." My god you... you really just said that.

    >Oinkbane is hired to kill adventurers
    >Stalks them through the land
    >The party can plainly see him walking behind them and crashing through trees
    >This continues for three nights
    >Eventually barbarian gets fed up and goes to attack
    >Oinkbane had made a camp a little farther back in some tumbled boulders
    >The barbarian goes to the center of his camp and yells 'You are on the boulders you cant fool me!'
    >Oinkbane is actually on the other side of the closest boulder
    >Oinkbane was taking a shit, but now he projects it on the party
    >He squeals NINJA STYLE as he takes out the shit covered party

    >The mark is on a pirate lord this time, he commands a small fleet.
    >The pirate is in on the whole dark ring of assassins and bribery and all that, he knows Oinkbane's reputation
    >2 days after they've left port, he realizes Oinkbane must be aboard one of the ships as a stowaway.
    >"Gather the men, I want every inch of this ship checked, then once that's done, order the next ship along to do so, and repeat." he orders.
    >"Aye sir!" the first mate replies.
    >The ships crew are brought to muster, the ship is searched and it seems like there's no boar aboard, for now
    >Suddenly, an explosion from the ship sailing to their right, the sail collapses and the ship begins to burn, all is chaos. Two more explosions go off and another pair of 
    >ships are on fire.
    >The entire priate fleet is in ramshackles, apart from the pirate lords. Eventually men are pulled from the water and most of the ships are saved.
    >"Gods damn him, I bet this was all a distraction. First Mate! Give me a report on the damage to fleet!"
    >"It seemed to be alchemist's fire Sir. Set on a timer to go off, obviously a distraction, albeit a heavily damaging one." the First Mate replied.
    >"Well that was plainly obvious, but what is the damage to the fleet?" the Lord asked impatiently.
    >"Well... Three ships have sustained minor damage." as he spoke the First Mate's voice deepened. 
    >Seemingly out of nowhere he drew a hammer.
    >The Captain turned to see his First-Mate transform into WereBoar form.
    >OinkBane screamed as he swung the hammer.
    >"AND TWO SCUTTLED!"
Anonymous: TWO SCUTTLED!!! You win the thread. No, you win all threads ... forever.
Anonymous: oh god! I didn't get, it now I do...
does anyone have some spare sides?

    >The Nobles get tired of Oinkbane constantly killing them
    >put a huge bounty on his head
    >Sardoth the Grim, killer for hire takes the contract
    >Typical grimdark edgy assassin with a single facial scar, wears black all the time
    >He's killed almost as many people as Oinkbane
    >Tracks Steve back from town one day, takes him hostage just within earshot of camp
    >Oinkbane comes charging out
    >"Don't worry apprentice I will save you"
    >Sardoth is too fast, Oinkbane can't land a single hit
    >Soon Oinkbane is bleeding from a dozen wounds
    >Steve and Skitters have fled
    >Oinkbane flees to nearby caves
    >Sardoth follows him in, cautiously
    >"I know you're a master of disguise Oinkbane, but my swords are silver - and you're leaving me a trail of blood to follow"
    >Deep within the caves Sardoth sees Oinkbane standing in a small dead end, a candle in his hand
    >"Hah, yes, follow. And here, there is no room to dodge"
    >Oinkbane snuffs out the candle
    >Sardoth hears a voice come out of the darkness
    >"Subtle, yes?"
    >After a few days the nobles are still awaiting a message.
    >Sardoth contacts them, says he's killed Oinkbane
    >they demand proof, set up a meeting
    >Figure in black arrives at the meeting hall, dragging a huge sack and a hood over his face
    >guards stab the sack, nothing
    >guards pull the hood back
    >"Uh Hi?" says Steve
    >"SNEAK ATTACK!" yells one of the nobles and crushes the head of the man next to him with a huge hammer
    >Oinkbane pulls off his noble disguise
    >"Your assassin was not subtle enough, too much stabby and not enough smashy"

    > Noble hears of Oinkbane being hired to assassinate him
    > Puts all his money in a counter assassin instead
    > Counter assassin tracks Oinkbane to his camp, and challenges him to a duel
    > They fight for hours, neither getting the upper hand
    > Finally the new assassin throws dust into Oinkbanes eyes and manages to stab him in the chest
    > "Looks like I've defeated the mighty Oinkbane."
    > The were pig smiles
    > "BUT I NOT OINKBANE, YOU ARE."
    > The assassin takes off his mask, it revealing Oinkbane
    > The Oinkbane face crumbles away, underneath is the assassin.
    > The assassin looks down, having just stabbed himself in the chest.
    > Steve looking on yells.
    > "That doesn't even make any sense!"
Anonymous: Hold on, that's just that comic making fun of Bleach.

    >Oinkbain is hired to assassinate a wealthy noble
    >noble gets wind of this and triples his guard.
    >Kills everyone in the land who owns a giant mallet
    >Hires every assassin in the realm to kill Oinkbane
    >finally one of the assassins is victorious.
    >Noble meets with the assassin to discuss payment and get proof of the kill.
    >The assassin that killed Oinkbane is a wereboar
    >Wielding a huge mallet
    >The noble orders every one of his guards to open fire on the assassin
    >however ANOTHER assassin opens Oinkbanes throat before the guards can strike.
    >the noble is beside himself and thanks the tall elven assassin for his duty
    >opens his bag of holding to retrieve the money to pay the elf
    >SNEAK ATTAAAACK!!!
    >Crushes the nobles head
    >disappears into the bag of holding shouting MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!!!!

    >Oinkbane is hired to assassinate a noble
    >The noble triples the guard and makes his bodyguards stay in his sight at all times
    >One day, in his hallway there's a crate with a not on it "NOT OINKZBAIN"
    >The noble, knowing of Oinkbane's tactics, tells his guards that he will not be coming out of the crate
    >Oinkbane bursts out of a nearby statue
    >"TOO SUBTLE-"
    >He is quickly ridden with cross-bow bolts
    >The noble comes near the dead wereboar gloats "Ha! I knew this piece of bacon could never-"
    >"SNEAK ATTACK"
    >Oinkbane bursts out of his own corpse and smacks the noble to death with his hammer
    >Escapes through a nearby door while yelling "DOUBLE SUBTLE"
    or
    >Oinkbane is hired to assassinate a noble
    >The noble triples the guard and makes his bodyguards stay in his sight at all times
    >One day, in his hallway there's a crate with a not on it "NOT OINKZBAIN"
    >The noble, knowing of Oinkbane's tactics, tells his guards that he will not be coming out of the crate
    >Oinkbane bursts out of a nearby statue
    >He is quickly riddled with crossbow bolts
    >The noble gloats and kicks the corpse
    >The fake head falls off
    >It's actually the noble in an Oinkbane disguise
    >Oinkbane rips off his noble disguise and escapes cackling "TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!"

    > A wealthy crimelord hears Oinkbane has been hired to kill him
    > Knowing the were-assassin's fearsome reputation, he decides the only recourse is to flee, and keep fleeing.
    > He travels the lands.
    > He travels the seas.
    > He travels the skies.
    > Ten years later in a distant and foreign land, the crimelord has run out of wealth.
    > He decides to rob local tombs for easy money.
    > He breaks into an ancient mausoleum and strides through dusty, cobweb-filled halls.
    > At the far end of the tomb lies an old sarcophagus.
    > It explodes in a rain of stone as Oinkbane bursts out of his hiding place, hammer at the ready.
    > "TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU"

    >Famous, battle-hardened knight finds out Oinkbane is after him
    >"plough that", he says, "I'm not letting that happen."
    >clears out chamber in his keep
    >has every nook and cranny secured. Every painting removed, every window closed. Every table removed, only one chair left, which he sits and sleeps on, waiting.
    >Doors guarded by his best men, in equally secured chambers
    >week passes, knight becomes weary
    >suddenly: "SNEAK ATTACK!"
    >knight draws sword and sees Oinkbane jumping at him with two drawn daggers from the Chandelier
    >Sidesteps, blocks daggers, two opponents look each other in the eyes.
    >"SUBTLE"
    >Oinkbane's hammer falls from the chandelier and kills the knight instantly.

    >A noble lord out in teh edge of civilisation.
    >Decides to look off his balcony
    >Amazing view of mountains, valleys, sweeping plains
    >No balcony, they're for babies
    >Hears footsteps coming up from behind him
    >Turns around and puts hand on sword
    >It is a mere servant of his court
    >Suddenly Oinkbane climbs over side of balcony
    >Grabs noble by back of cloak
    >"THIS! IS! SUBTLE!"
    >Hits him with hammer