Editing Setting:CATastrophe/Writefaggotry (section)

==Kim and Aggy in "High Rollers"==

"Mmm... I don't know if this is such a good idea, Kim..."

"Hmm? What's the matter now?"

"Well... it's just that we went through a lot of trouble to get these shinies..."

"Trouble? Haha! That was nothing!"

"I don't know, that jelly zapped you pretty hard..."

"Aggy, please! What good is a sack full of shinies if they're just sitting around?"

"Well... we could... um... spend them? Our boat does have that giant hole in the..."

"Our boat! Haha! We won't be needing that hunk of junk after tonight! We'll be able to afford something really kick-butt! Maybe a seaplane! No, no, wait. Submarine. Those are cooler."

"Kimmy! Look, there it is!"

"Ooooh! 'The Cat's Meow' -- the largest casino in the Endless Blue!"

"It's huge!"

"Yep yep! They say it used to be a cruise ship."

"Mmm... why is half of it missing?"

"Ah, well, when they tried to move it, it accidentally crashed into a reef, haha."

"Is that why it's tilted to the side?"

"Yep yep! It's also why part of it looks like it was engulfed in flames."

"Oh... is this place really safe...?"

"Don't be such a baby! We're almost there!"

"D-don't call me a baby!!"

----

[[Image:CATastropheKim&Agatha.png|300px|thumb|right|Illustration by Maestro]]
"Ah, hello, mademoiselle. Where will you be gaming tonight? Perhaps you would like me to escort you to our entry-level slot machines...?"

"Haha no! Show us to the high-stakes Boker tables."

"I am afraid that players require one thousand of our chips just to place a single wager there."

"Oh yeah?" ''[THWACK]'' "How many chips will this get me?"

"Hmm... very well. Please follow me."

"Psst, Kimmy! This place is so ritzy... I feel like like we're a little under-dressed..."

"Haha, don't be silly, Aggy! Bikinis are always appropriate!"

"You shall be playing here, at table number four. Your, um... sack... will buy you three of our 1000 credit chips."

"Most excellent! Thank you very much!" ''[Leaping into her seat]'' "Hello everyone! My name is Agatha Montpelier McKraken the Third, also known as "The Crimson Lightning", "The Lurking Terror" or 'Aggy' for short." ''[Stunned silence]'' "Well go on! Deal the tiles!"

"Pst, Aggy! I don't even know the rules to this game. Could you explain?"

"Eh!? You call yourself an adventurer and you don't even know how to play Boker!? So shameful..."

"I'm sorry... but what's happening now?"

"Ah! The dealer just put the tiles into that bag. He's going to shake them around so that he shuffles them up really good."

"Tiles?"

"Yep yep! 20 tiles, to be exact. Cheap ones are made from wood, but it looks like these are whalebone. Each one is marked with a color and a number. The colors are red, blue, yellow, and black, and the numbers are one through five."

"So... how do you win?"

"You get the best hand, obviously! Here, you'll see in a second..."

----

"See? Now the dealer gives five tiles to each of the players. The tiles are dealt face-down, that way no one can see what you have."

"Okay, that makes sense."

"Then you show two of your tiles to your opponents."

"That... doesn't make sense."

"Haha, how should I explain this... well everyone picks a combination of three tiles that is a strong hand. Once you pick the three you want to keep, you discard the two that you don't want."

"Oh, okay."

"But this isn't just luck! It's about skill too. By looking at the tiles you were dealt, and by looking at the tiles that your opponents get rid of, you can make a guess about what they have."

"That sounds kinda complicated..."

"Well, it takes a while to get good at it. Unless you're a natural like me, of course! Haha!"

"Um... Did you get dealt a good hand, Aggy?"

"Hmm... Kimmy, lean in close, this is private."

"Oh, right! Yes ma'am."

"I'm going to try bluffing. That's when you pretend to have a very good hand, in order to make your opponents drop out."

"Oh! So tactical!"

"See? My strongest hand is this pair of fives. But let's see what happens when I do this!"

"Eh! But Aggy! You just discarded those fives! Ahhh, all that money wasted. We could have bought so much tuna with that money..."

"Haha, look closer!"

"Eh! They're all dropping out!"

"That's right. They know that normally the only reason you would discard a pair of cards like that is if you had an even stronger hand."

"Oh! You're brilliant!"

"Haha, I know. So now we get all of the antes. That's 3000 chips! We've all ready doubled our funds!"

"Wow! Great work! Let's quit while we're ahead then."

"Haha, are you nuts! We're just getting started! We won't be able to bluff anymore. They're on to us. Now the match is really starting!"

----

''[Time passes]''

<strike>''[Zawa]''</strike>

"That's amazing, Aggy! Twenty thousand! I can't even imagine how much that is worth! We're rich!"

"Yep yep! We did it! But I'm a little tired. Dealer! Please cash us out."

"Yes, certainly. We have several payment options, would you like your earnings to be paid in the form of... hmm..."

"Hmm? Go on, go on man! I don't have all day!"

"Ma'am, what is that in your sleeve?"

"Eh... Haha! Nothing, nothing! It's a good luck charm. What business is that of yours?"

"Ma'am, is that a tile?"

"It, ah... um... I must have... misplaced... ah... KIM! RUN FOR IT!"

"EHH!?"

''[Crashing]''

''[Tables being turned over]''

"H-hey wait! Aggy! You were just making all that stuff about strategy up!? You've been cheating the whole time!"

"Haha, well... I mean... cheating is a kind of strategy, when you think about it..."

"Now we can probably never come back here!"

"Who cares! I don't like these snooty jerks anyways!"

"And we lost all of our shinies! I hope you're happy!"

"Whatever! We'll get more! Run faster, dummy! They're gaining on us!"

"Ah! Oh no! Dead end! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?"

"Pssh, there's no such thing as a dead end! JUMP!"

"WHAT? You can't be serious!"

''['''SPLASH''']''

''[Deep breath]''

''[Treading water]''

"Ahhh... happiness is always fleeting..."

"Don't worry, don't worry! It's fine, it's fine! We're still alive and we still have each other! There will be plenty more shinies where that came from!"

"I guess. Um... Aggy?"

"Yep yep?"

"Where did we park the boat?"

"Oh. Uh..."