Editing Tarrasque (section)

===(3.5) How to Defeat The Tarrasque in 3 Easy Levels===
[[Image:Kill_tarrasque.jpg|300px|thumb|right|The illustrated guide.]]
*No particular feats required.
*No particular items required.
*Be a wizard of level 3.
*[[meme|Put on your robe and wizard hat]].
*Cast Command Undead on an allip (it's a CR 3 monster, if you can't find any just learn to cast Summon Undead.)
*Cast Silent Image in front of the Tarrasque or Invisibility on yourself.
*Have the allip attack it. Every hit will take off 3 wisdom on average with no saving throw, and the Tarrasque has an abysmal touch AC, with no way to hit incorporeal targets.
*Once at 0 wisdom, it'll be unconscious until its ability score is restored. Cast Unseen Servant and order it to shovel dirt into the nasal passages and sinuses of the disabled Tarrasque so it can't breathe.
*Per the MM, regeneration does not restore HP lost from suffocation, so it will be stuck at negative hit points, at least until some fool unpacks the dirt from its sinuses.
*Congratulations! For defeating the Tarrasque, you're now a level 4 wizard, with 1 XP away from level 5. Make some wealth by opening a Bar and Grill on its back.
*For added hilarity, take the Precocious Apprentice feat and with some mildly lucky rolls do this at level 1.

Note: alternatively, bring many allips to the fight since Command Undead lasts for days/level. The Tarrasque's natural weapons are treated as magic, which according to the Rules Compendium <strike>gives them a 50% chance to ignore to incorporeality. In that case the Tarrasque can take down 1 or 2 allips per round</strike> lets them bypass DR/magic, nothing more.