Editing Walmart Apocalypse (section)

===AUTO & TIRES===

Mercury (Auto & Tires) Intro

“We’ve got a tank full of liquid oxygen, half a pack of spark plugs and we’re being chased by Stockers. Buckle up.”

Speed. There are very few who appreciate it and even fewer who can truly experience it. Within the confines of the Auto & Tires Department are a rare few that exemplify both traits. Acceleration addicts, daredevils and madcap stuntmen live within those aisles, ready to takes any risk looking for their next big rush. Acting as messengers for other departments to feed their habit, each Mercury lives to improve his ride through whatever means he can. They’re more important than any other item, more important than your pride or dignity or the children you would have if you weren’t so consumed rapidly outpacing those deliriously slow Footpounders. It is a rather cruel irony then that, like so many other department inhabitants, you’re stuck with an embarrassingly underpowered vehicle, making you envious even of moped owners. You’ve made the best of the situation and ‘improved’ it as best you could but you still dream of whirling rims and roaring engines. One day your plans and grand schemes may come to fruition as you'll leave everything behind you in a cloud of exhaust smoke. If you don’t end up as roadkill first.