Editing Human (section)

==Human Special Rules==
# In every sci fi movie and game involving aliens, humans MUST suck.<br>No exceptions. Unless they're [[Space Marine|grimdark psycho-indoctrinated, genetically enhanced, Catholic Space-Nazis]], an [[Chaos Space Marines|evil(er) version of thereof]] or the [[Primaris Space Marines|grimdark psycho-indoctrinated, genetically enhanced, Catholic Space-Nazis big brother]]. Or [[Setting:Halo|Master Chief]]. In which case, they're the best damn things in the setting where combat is concerned. In every fantasy movie and game involving elves, dwarves, goblins, etc. humans MUST be boring. No exceptions. Elves are the tall fast guys with great magic who live in the trees, Dwarves are the short strong guys with badass technology who live in the tunnels, humans are the boring medium guys with absolutely nothing special and completely average stats.
#* Unless this is John Carter of Mars in which the title human is an unstoppable one man army, who can kill four armed giant bug Martians with ease.
#* Or if it's [[Tolkien|Middle Earth]] (if you don't think the Edain are awesome, you probably don't know enough about the setting), 
#* or [[Star Wars]] (where the humans are the most powerful, diverse, and influential race in the setting), 
#* [[Star Trek]] (where the humans are the ones responsible for much of the good stuff in the setting), 
#* or [[Avatar]] (where the humans are awesome, but portrayed as villains for being pragmatic).
# Humans ''always'' have the crappy weapons when fighting technologically advanced/intelligent xenos(eg: [[Setting:Halo|Halo]] - Bullets vs. Plasma. [[Warhammer 40,000]] - [[Lasgun|factory-built flashlights]] vs. alien [[Shuriken Catapult|ninja-star guns]]/[[Splinter Weapons|living poison guns]]/[[Gauss|molecular disassembly weapons]]/cursed-soul-shooting guns). In the case of simple-minded/primitive xenos, the humans must be eaten/dismembered/eviscerated/disemboweled/some combination thereof by said xenos (eg: Bugs vs Mobile infantry, Xenomorphs vs Colonial Marines). In fantasy, humans ''always'' have the boring practical weapons when fighting any other race (eg: Humans vs Elves or Dwarves - Long swords and crossbows vs. magic bows and badass knives or giant hammers and axes and cannons).
# in [[vidya|video games]], especially but in table top and roleplaying as well, humanity's special trait is always brute force. We're never as fast as the space elves, but we always build [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|really big guns]] (sometimes ones that are [[Ordinatus|utterly massive]]) and [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|massive humanoid robots covered with weapons]]. As another example, when I say "elf" you think archers in the woods, but when I say "fantasy human" you think a knight in full plate mail atop a horse, effectiveness may vary but humans' trait is normally thick armour and hitting hard.
# Compared to any other race, Humans must always be subjected to horrendous deaths in any war, real or fiction, by the hundreds, and often disproportionately to their involvement in said war.
# In every work that involves armed fictional conflict, there must always be one [[Mary Sue|heavily plot-armoured character that can beat the odds no matter how retardedly outnumbered and outgunned he is.]] This character is human if humans are involved in the conflict at all.
# In almost every setting where humans are not fanatical racist nut jobs, human are always the ones most likely to reproduce outside their species. If someone says they're a half-elf, dragon or demon, you never need to ask what the other half is. Among the first questions any human asks upon discovery of a new sapient is "can I have sex with it?", and then humans also ignore all rules of logic and genetics by managing to have kids with it.
# In most fantasy settings, humans create various "Western-European-like" nations, one "Middle-East-like" nation and one "Chinese-like" or "Japanese-like" nation.
# Despite any inferiority to other races; Humans '''ALWAYS WIN. ''ALWAYS''''', in the end of it all. Either by the efforts of pre-mentioned [[Mary Sue]] or through [[Imperial Guard|the well-honed tactic of drowning their enemies in their own blood and corpses]]. This is because we can't win any other way, unless you're SPESS MARHEENS (That's a fact). In rare cases conflict spans for a few centuries, and the setting it happens in isn't in medieval stasis, humans win through their adaptability due to their short lifespans combined with sufficient intellect, while more long-living races fail to change their society in response to evolving technology, even if they happen to out-science humans (which they usually don't), and less intelligent races get wiped out or enslaved due to the giant technological edge humans have against them.

Also, our butthurt knows no fucking bounds.