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===The Villains=== * '''Pyotr:''' Real name Peter Piotrowski, a <s>12th</s> 10th generation <s>Nosferatu</s> Sludge Lad. Formerly an underwater (and disgustingly handsome) welder before his superior embraced him during a Sabbat underwater mission. Card-carrying Sabbat and main antagonist of Arc 1 after diablerizing both Apeboy and Shitbeard. Talks a big game and knows how to terrify his opponents, but is ultimately a coward, opportunist, and manipulator who lets others do the dirty work. Easily smarter and more manipulative than the other vampires - though not above being outsmarted by well-trained hunters. Is animated to be utterly horrifying, as befits a Sludge Lad. Killed by sunlight after being lured into a minefield. (VA: DrWhite) * '''Apeboy:''' Real name Dave McGlow, an 11th generation <s>Gangrel</s> Humanimal Type Vampire. All we get for his backstory is that he was a shovelhead. The "LARPer" of the four; wears a fedora and neckbeard, and constantly talks like your typical high school fedora-wearing [[edgelord]]. (VA: Glowtide) * '''Shitbeard:''' Real name Richard Porter, a 10th generation <s>Brujah</s> Bikerbro Blank, and a member of Hell's Fuckers. Angstiest of the quartet, expressing he misses human pleasures such as cream crackers. Has enough of an education to discuss Kant with Apeboy and his ghost mentions going to college during the Patreon plug at the end of Episode 2. He was embraced during a "Bikers for Blood" donation drive that resulted in mass disappearances. (VA: Earndil) * '''Regent of Great Yarmouth''': Mentioned offscreen, but is likely to become important given Kevin's backstory and the info he gave during interrogation. Grandsire of Kevin, and according to him is your typical, out-of-touch yet terrifyingly powerful Vampire prince. Big-D seems to already know her quite well. She may be the dark figure that appears in the end credits; maybe even the hooded figure seen at the end of Episode 1. According to Kevin's account, she's obsessed with Boudica and the Iron Age Iceni (an obsession which involves going on extensive tangents on how the former didn't shave her privates for some reason). The Regent’s eccentricity and obliviousness may be working in Big-D’s favor, as she fails to recognize Big-D from his description or the fact that he’s using Kevin’s old alias. (VA: Boneweary) * '''Prince of Norfolk''': The Big Bad Evil guy, we know even less about her than the regent. *'''Brok Blacklaw''': Norfolk's resident bully, who likes picking on Marckus in particular and looks like an overweight Geese Howard. Speaks and acts like a [[Ork|stereotypical meatheaded football hooligan]]. He'd been bullying Marckus since they were kids, and he hasn't changed a bit. He's got an iron liver, a mean attitude, and several knives on him, and he gets away with a lot since his dad is the head of the Arcanum. So far, he's gotten himself into some major trouble after picking on Marckus one night, first getting pranked into making a heinous call to his father, then catching salmonella, having a couple of his switchblades exploding in his hand, and finally getting chased away by Guy Chapman himself. (VA: Haven Kendrick) **'''"Git" Giles and Spit''': Brok's toadies and stereotypical chavs. They don't do much beyond backing up Brok in their first appearance, though Git did somehow manage to drink Harry's beer before spitting it back out and drinking it again. Git gets a little more attention in the next audiolog, as he is revealed to also be a recently employed stocker at the local 99p store. He has issues with people treating him as lesser and not respecting him, and manages to have a heart-to-heart with Big-D (though Big-D was mainly just trying to convince Git to sell him a blender for 99p to prove Kevin wrong). Git is at least vaguely aware that there's something wrong with the backroom of the store he works at.(VAs: HulkyKrow as Git, Glowtide as Spit) * '''Polydora''': The manager at the 99p store. She puts on a persona of a chipper and people-pleasing woman, but can be heard insulting people under her breath. Is a ghoul (or possibly even a childe) of Lady Regent of Great Yarmouth, who treats her in a quite motherly way. (VA: Saskia Douglas)
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