Editing Order of the Stick (section)

====The Linear Guild====
* Started out as evil counterparts of the PCs (which was deliberately done by their leader, Elan's twin brother Nale (get it? Nale is Elan backwards!)). The Guild consists of three core members plus two other slots that keep having replacements due to death or quitting:
** Nale, a Fighter-Rogue-Sorcerer multiclass specializing in enchantment, which is, if you didn't notice, basically a [[bard]] only [[Tzeentch|more complicated]] and capable of being Lawful Evil. This tells you a great deal about Nale's personality. Is permanently dead; he was stabbed by his father and was subsequently disintegrated for murdering Malack and rejecting his father's attempt to reconcile.
** Sabine, a [[succubus]] and Nale's lover with whom she shares a deep and fulfilling relationship based on human sacrifice.  Is currently stuck somewhere in the Lower Planes, trying to get revenge on her boyfriend's murderer, and since Thog is also probably dead she the last member not to die or quit.
** Thog, a [[Half-Orc]] [[barbarian]]/[[fighter]] (but only for a dip on that second one; even someone as stupid as Thog knew taking more than a few fighter levels was for suckers and he's got the dungeoncrusher alternate class feature too) who's part of the Dumbass Triumvirate alongside Elan and the Monster in the Darkness, and like them he sometimes expresses moments of startling and funny insight and erudition. Unlike either of them, Thog is ''not'' a good person; his cheery demeanor masks a sociopathic and childish delight in breaking things and people. He talks like the Incredible Hulk, and turns more green when he activates his rage.  Although unconfirmed, he likely is dead after Roy tricked him into collapsing a ceiling on himself, burying him under a ton of rubble.
* On the four different occasions the teams have clashed the Linear Guild employed a subset of the following people:
* '''First Encounter'''
** Zz'Dtri, the [[drow]] wizard. An obvious copy of [[Drizzt]], he was hauled off by the lawyers of [[Wizards of the Coast]] for being an obvious [[Drizzt]] copy. [[Wat|Yes, that happened]]. Later returned ([[Wat|because he was a parody, not a copy, protected speech bitches!]]) and clashed with V using all the interim levels to tailor his build just for fighting the wizard, mostly by boosting his innate spell resistance. This did him no good against Durkon, the party cleric, particularly with that vampire strength boost. Currently dead.
** Hilgya Firehelm, a dwarven cleric of [[Troll|Loki]] who fucked, fought with, and fled from Durkon during the Guild's first encounter with the Order, in that approximate order. Reappeared after over 1000 strips to save the party from a vampire horde in the nick of time, intending to get revenge on Durkon, then fled for the Outer Planes when it became clear the world has a good chance of going up in flames soon. Has a self-serving memory, believing everyone around her is selfish and taking advantage of her when she's one of the most selfish beings on the planet. Brought Durkon's baby into the battle in a papoose [[Dwarf_Fortress|like a true dorf]].
** Yikyik the [[kobold]] ranger. Was beheaded by Belkar and turned into a [[hat]]. Currently dead.
* '''Second Encounter'''
** Pompey the [[half-elf]] wizard (get it? Pompey and Vaarsuvius are named after Pompeii and Vesuvius!  We're clever). Had a crush on Roy's sister and teamed up with the Linear Guild so that he could have her, but he was defeated, imprisoned, and then escaped, signing on with Leeky. Has not been seen since.
** Leeky Windstaff the [[gnome]] [[druid]]. Turned into a giant monster and rampaged through a city (get it? [[CoDzilla]]!) before being defeated by Durkon and escaping alongside Pompey.
** Yokyok, son of Yikyik. A parody of [[The Princess Bride|Inigo Montoya]] who attacked Belkar for... oh do I even have to say it? Belkar was under a curse preventing him from killing, so he set a tavern full of [[adventurer]]s loose on Yokyok, then turned his head into a nacho repository. Currently dead.
* '''Third Encounter'''
** Yukyuk. Yet another kobold: this one was dominated (the status effect, mind you) by V (who used him like a missile weapon to shoot up Zz'Dtri) and got used as a litter box ([[Sick| without being decapitated first!]]) and living trap-springer before dying in a horrific accident protecting a [[cat]].
* '''Fourth Encounter'''
* The fourth encounter with the Linear Guild included Tarquin and Malack (as below). It also involved Chancellor Kilkil (Urd, a Kobold variant... with wings! It's in the 2nd ed MM), who is more a clerk and personal assistant than a combatant, though he is a hyper-competent bureaucrat and a flying calculator.
** General Tarquin, a human [[warlord]], general of the Empress of Blood and de facto ruler of the Empire of Blood. Despite the suggestion of him being aligned to [[Khorne]] this is far from the truth: he is a friendly and cheerful person like his son Elan, but at the same time is outright ruthless and has the evil smarts like his other son, Nale. He is the ultimate in [[Alignment|Lawful Evil]]: he understands that his rule is not eternal, but his legacy can be. As such he is forging an entire continent into his empire: even when he is defeated (which he holds as being inevitable) he gets to be a legend. Though he's not very keen on the "being stabbed by a hero" part, it would mean he gets to live like a god for who-knows-how-long, and only the last few minutes sucked. [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0763.html The man himself explains it best.]  On the other hand, given his Lawful obsession with forcing the messy chaos of reality to conform to the outline of a neat little story, refusing to conform to the character archetype he expects you to fill (e.g. playing a [[bard]] when he thinks you're the protagonist) causes him to quickly fly into a fit of [[butthurt]] rage to put [[That Guy]] to shame and start [[railroading]].  On joining the Linear Guild he disguised himself as Thog.
** Minister Malack is a lizardfolk (possibly yuan-ti) cleric of Nergal and serves as adviser to the Empress of Blood and Tarquin. Is actually a [[vampire]] and has just turned Durkon into one. Like his former adventuring companion Tarquin, Malack is an affable and well-spoken person and is the heir to the Empire of Blood after Tarquin's death. When he does become the next Emperor he plans to [[Emperor|sacrifice a thousand people to his god per day]] [[grimdark|in rooms that serve as gas chambers/abattoirs, the sacrifices generated by a continent's worth of people living and dying for the glory of Nergal]] (although the writer later stated he means meat packing rooms as he plans to use the thousand sacrifices to feed to himself and his vampiric spawn, who'll be running the empire). Like I said, real nice guy. Has a beef with Nale for killing three of his "children", but set aside his grudge at Tarquin's behest. Even then he is a honorable person: when he promises not to kill someone despite it serving his goals, he does so.  A very different sort of Lawful Evil, but still fits. Perma-dead, having been killed by Nale with sunlight, which has a disintegration effect on vampires.