Editing Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition (section)

===Player's Handbook===
* ''Acolyte'': You are a part of, and possibly even raised by, a church or cult. You gain proficiency in Insight, naturally, Religion, and your background feature lets you ring up churches of your faith for free help for your party and freeload on their couch. It also lets you pick a single specific temple, somewhere in the world, where you can expect free assistance.

* ''Charlatan'': A con-artist background, complete with proficiency in forgery and disguise kits. Naturally, it comes with proficiency in Deception and Sleight of Hand, a list of possible cons you're good at running, and a feature that lets you switch to a fake identity when the heat's on, as well as perfectly copy handwriting and statuary so long as you have a sample to study.

* ''Criminal'': Just a regular ol' crook, though you can pick which kind from a list that includes blackmail, smuggling, burglary, or just plain hired murder. Proficiency in Deception and Stealth (what a surprise), with a background feature that gives you a reliable, trustworthy contact in the criminal underworld, and the ability to stay in touch with him wherever you go. (Honor among thieves and all that.)

:: ''Spy'': A "variant" criminal, who gets the same skillset, but uses it for espionage. Might be a loyal servant of your government or a free agent, and your "contact" is now your "handler."

* ''Entertainer'': ...It's not ''just'' the bard background, okay? Covers a wide variety of different kinds of entertainer, from musician to storyteller to actor to fire-eater. Gains proficiency in Acrobatic and Performance, and has a fun background feature that lets them perform somewhere for free room and board, as well as improving their reputation in places they've performed before.

:: ''Gladiator'': A "variant" entertainer, who engages in a flashy kind of "performance" combat. They use their background feature in fight pits and arenas and get free medical care from battling there. Also, luchador or no guts.

* ''Folk Hero'': One of the more "freeform" backgrounds. A folk hero is a lowly peasant kid who did something cool that sent them off on a life of adventure. You can pick what from a list or make up your own. You're proficient in Animal Handling and Survival, thanks to your blue collar roots, and the common people and peasantry love you and will do anything short of dying to protect you. You also gain proficiency in vehicles (land), so have fun in high-speed wagon chases.

* ''Guild Artisan'': Not really a wild artiste type so much as a union man (or woman) through and through (a medival guild was basically halfway between a trade union and a cartel). You are proficient in not only the tools of your trade, but in Insight and Persuasion, because art is good and all but you gotta be good at selling it too. Your background feature gives you a ''huge'' list of benefits, and the ability to cozy up to bigger boys in the guild with donations of money and magic items: so long as you're in the union, the union's got your back. However, you also have to keep paying your union dues, or the union's gonna cut you off, so better hope you aren't stuck on one of those lame wilderness adventures where half the "social" background features are useless, because then you'll have to keep track of backpay.

:: ''Guild Merchant'': A variant, representing someone who buys and sells rather than manufactures and sells. You can swap out your tool proficiency for proficiency with navigator's tools, a vehicle, or an extra language, and can swap out your starting tool for a mule and cart.

* ''Hermit'': Somebody who spent time in seclusion from the secular world, whether as a monk looking for spiritual enlightenment or a reclusive inventor or artist. You are proficient in Medicine and Religion (presumably from all that contemplation), and your Background feature is one of the weirdest in the game: some kind of "discovery." Exactly what this is supposed to do is maddeningly inexact, and it doesn't have a list of actual benefits like most of the other backgrounds, so much that the book outright admits that you should sit down with your DM and try to figure out what it actually ''does''.

* ''Noble'': The upper-crust background, covering all manner of nobles from the militaristic to the foppish. Proficiency in History and Persuasion from your classical education, and your background feature not only gives you some basic social benefits from being privileged, and you can get audiences with local nobles.

:: ''Knight'': Even moar military nobles. Instead of the noble's many social benefits, you gain three henchmen who can help you do things. They don't fight, and they'll bolt if you treat them like shit (meaning this is ''theoretically'' one of the few background features that can be permanently lost, although if that happens your DM is either a dick or you deserve it). But beyond that, they can do a lot of other mundane tasks, and can be given your signet ring and such to grease the wheels for the party.

* ''[[The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind|Outlander]]'': The ranger to the Entertainer's bard, the Outlander is a backwoods country bumpkin who's used to hard living in the wilderness. Offers proficiency in Athletics and Survival, and has a background feature that, unlike the social benefits of others, improves your ability to navigate and lets you feed yourself and up to five people without skill checks required, so long as it's not an area of wasteland where nature's bounty is too scarce to allow that.

* ''Sage'': The "went to college" background, meaning you can pick your major. You're proficient in Arcana and History, and your background feature gives you the ability to recall where, exactly, you can go to try to unearth information you might need, though it notes that this power can sometimes just tell you "I 'unno, lol." Most DMs will, hopefully, not screw you out of your background's big feature unless you try to ask for the secrets of the cosmos or something.

* ''Sailor'': Just what it sounds like. Offers proficiency in navigator's tools and water vehicles along with Perception and Athletics. Your background feature lets you easily secure passage for your party during sea travel via your waterside connections, though doing so means that you'll have to help out along the way.

:: ''Pirate'': The obvious sailor variant. Instead of the sailor's background feature, you've got a reputation, deserved or not, as a mean son-of-a-bitch, meaning that you can get away with some minor criminal offenses, like breaking down doors or skipping out on your tavern bill, because people are too scared of you to confront you ''or'' to call the cops.

* ''Soldier'': Hoo-hah. Another beautiful day outside of this man's army. You're proficient in Athletics and Intimidation, and you still have your old military rank, meaning you can throw some orders around and lower-ranking people will obey, you can temporarily requisition supplies like horses and carts, and you can usually get access to friendly military fortresses and checkpoints.

* ''Urchin'': It's a hard knock life. You grew up on the mean streets, and to get by you got proficient with Stealth, Sleight of Hand, and thieves' tools. You also have a cute pet mouse and a memento of your poor dead, dead parents, because [[dawww]]. Your background feature lets you easily navigate urban environments, moving through them twice as fast as normal out of combat.