Editing Kobold (section)

===Why D&D 3.5 Kobolds Kick Ass===
It may not seem like it, but despite what a bunch of dipshts may say, 3.5 was the time when kobolds ascended to godlike fucking power.

You see, D&D characters have ages, and in third edition, your character's age can place you into one of four age categories. The first does nothing, and each one after that stacks an increasing penalty to your physical ability scores and a +1 to all of your mental ability scores, so a character who is older than Jesus will have -6 str, -6 dex, -6 con, +3 int, +3 wis, and +3 cha... unless that character is a dragon. Dragons get the mental benefits of old age without the physical penalties, because dragons are fucking awesome. But that doesn't do kobolds a lot of good, because kobolds aren't dragons, right? Enter the Dragonwrought feat. A kobold who takes the Dragonwrought feat during character-creation gets their creature type changed from humanoid to dragon. Page 39 of Races of the Dragon explicitly confirms: "Ability penalties due to age do not apply to dragonwrought kobolds. See the Dragonwrought feat, page 100." So, a 120-year-old dragonwrought kobold gets a free +3 to its mental scores in addition to all the other benefits of counting as a dragon, like low-light vision and immunity to magic sleep and paralysis effects. For a wizard, sorcerer, cleric, favored soul, psion, or any other dedicated caster class, which are already pretty godlike, dragonwrought kobolds can give you that little bit of extra edge that you need to achieve [[Pun-Pun|''uber''-godhood]].

It gets better, though. You see, in addition to the four ''normal'' age categories that all characters have, kobolds have ''kobold age categories'', ranging from Wrymling to Great Wyrm. True dragons, meanwhile, have ''dragon age categories'' with the ''exact same names'', and although there is no strict and official definition of a "true dragon" anywhere in the D&D 3e literature, they have been described as dragons that progress through said age categories. As a result, [[skub|some people have argued]] that [[bullshit|dragonwrought kobolds are, in fact, true dragons]]. Why would this matter? Because there's a bunch of epic dragon cheese that is only available to true dragons, and if you can stack that shit on a kobold player character, you'll practically be eating Tarrasques for lunch.

As NPCs, kobolds know they are small and weak and can't do much about it.  They can dig through a mountain faster than that chump John Henry (look it up, you illiterate fuckwits), and lay out enough traps to make the Tomb of Horrors look like a fucking carnival ride, though, so what other creature could use a legion of little minions who do nothing but dig out precious minerals and make traps to defend it all day?  Fucking dragons, of course. Right there in Races of the Dragon, there's a blue dragon (it had to be blue) who actually tells her hatchlings that only kobolds are more reliable than family and the most diehard friends. Because kobolds don't sit on their treasure; they hand it over to a neighborhood dragon and ask for nothing but protection and a little help with enemies once in a while. For a dragon, the return on that investment is just too good: fabulous wealth, dozens of lethal traps to help protect it, and a nice little army of sneaky, smart little ranged attackers who won't hesitate to pin-cushion intruders with dozens of crossbow bolts. For the most part, everyone wins in that arrangement.

Kobolds may not be as elegant as elves, as sturdy as dwarves, or have the adaptability of humans.  What they have is moxie and the smarts to play up their strengths, making them the "underdogs" you can't help but root for a little bit.