Editing Love and Krieg Spinoffs (section)

===Entry One===
Sir,

Throne willing, this reaches you in the best of health. You were absolutely right sir. My tenure in the Segmentum’s Propaganda Ministry was too long. I find myself disgracefully out of practice for my duties as a Regimental Commissar. I believe I understand your reasons for assigning me here to the 68th Krieger field artillery. The regiment is impeccably well disciplined. I took to heart your advice, that a good commissar should announce himself with a field execution within four hours of his arrival on post, but sir, in spite of my most rigorous scrutiny, I could find no breach of regulation anywhere.

Sir, I understand how unusual this may sound, but I’m not sure the 68th Krieger require a Commissar. I’m not sure what I am expected to do here. My duties seem vestigial, ceremonial, and Sir, there’s something else. They’re watching me, always watching. I know the sight of a guardsman at attention should fill any Imperial citizen with the warmth of the Emperor's confidence, but by the saints these people make me shiver; the glint on their lenses, the hiss of their respirators. Sir, I want my old assignment back. Please Sir, I’m sorry that your assistant and I… Sir it will never happen again. If you’d put me behind a desk again––Oh saints I can't send this. Delete that last part. Stop scribing. Oh, what was the command? Cease. Terminate. Desist. End. Hey, you there, Ensign, find the Enginseer. I’m having trouble with my servitor.


Recorded 4105988.M41
68th Krieg Field Artillery – Saghalain
Autoscribe Servitor #303440288
====Meanwhile, at the Commissariat====
"Commissar, the reason you were assigned to the 68th Krieg Field Artillery Regiment... was primarily to deal with any issues that may arise between your charges and the local civilians.  And to give them something resembling a normal human being to practice their social skills on."

*unintelligible*

"...you do realize that hysterical laughter followed by uncontrollable sobbing puts enough demerits on your record to lose Commissariat Ice Cream Privileges for a period of no less than one month?"

*unintelligible*

"No, I'm not...no, I'm not going to- WOULD YOU LET ME FINISH?!"

*throat-clearing noise, followed by exasperated sigh*

"No, I'm not going to take Mr. Buttons away. Teddy Bear Deployment Rights don't come under review unless you've done something like, say, suffer the Xenos to live."

*unintelligible*

"...What do you mean "the head of the PTA is a Lictor?"

*unintelligible*

"No, I don't care that it makes cookies."

*unintelligible*

"...wait, did you just say "Inverted Key Lime Double Fudge Chunk? That can't be possible, nobody's seen that STC in-"

*unintelligible*

"...I'll call you back."

*disconnection*

"Amberley?"

"Yes, Ciaphas?"

"Do you think I'm drinking too much amasec, or not enough?"

"...I'll pour each of us a double."