Editing Ork (section)

==Ork Teknologee==

[[File:Dat zoggin bigmek by majesticchicken.jpg|220px|thumb|left|A perfect example of Ork tech. Powered by make-believe and the essence of WAAAGH!, and patched together with duct tape and chewing gum, the Emperor himself has truly never seen finer craftsmanship or innovation.]]

Occasionally, if a "tech-caste" gets into control of an Ork society, ridiculous constructions can result. Best example we know about is the Telon Reach Empire and its central stronghold Gorro. A "scrapworld", Gorro was full of things that shouldn't have worked at all (Horus notes that individual bits of architecture inside were just too mad for any human to contemplate) and could withstand the normally planet-killing weapons on the Vengeful Spirit and Imperator Somnium (the Emperor's own flagship). The Orks defending it were far more advanced than most (everything from their augmentations to the accuracy of their ships' weapons) and had actually built a plasma reactor to hold their world together. Their function mostly relied on the Orks' gestalt, as the core began to fail as the Emperor, Horus and their respective posses carved through the population. Once the Emperor killed the resident Warboss and psychically burned the rest of the Orks (a preview of what he'd eventually do to Horus) the system went into total meltdown.

How Ork Technology works is up for debate. As written Ork technology is beyond comprehension by the majority of races. Their weapons/tech work and other races can use them, but not as effectively. [[Techpriest|Techpriests]] have taken apart Ork guns and reassembled them to what they assume is the same configuration only to find that they don't work any more. This leads to two schools of thought on Ork Technology.

===The Anzion Theorem of Orkoid Mechamorphic Resonant Kinetics - Every Ork is a Psyker===

The Anzion Theorem postulates that Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more esoteric their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. In current fluff, this is definitely not the case; if you hand an Ork a slugga that has been stripped of all internal mechanisms, it won't suddenly start firing bullets just because the Ork believes it should. However, if a crudely manufactured slugga consistently misfires in the hands of a human but *does* fire reliably when wielded by an Ork, it is definitely Orkish belief that is bridging that gap. If the Ork picks up a mixed handful of slightly different caliber rounds and jams them into it, it will (most likely) shoot them all and not jam up from the different sizes. This means that technologies that should be ''impossible'' become merely ''unlikely'' when crafted by an Ork. In short, if Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

To put it another way, Orks believe that, "Red wuns are fasta." They believe that blue is lucky. They believe that yellow is more shooty and/or more explosive, and that black represents strength and toughness. And because they believe this, it manifests as true; thus this applies not only to the Orks themselves but also to their wargear. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. That same cleaver, with a battery and wires crudely bolted to it, would BE a power weapon in the hands of an Ork.

This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons will generally function poorly or not at all in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe works, not because they themselves are making it work. Which, in a way, makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If Orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would quite literally nullify their ability to believe hard enough to manipulate reality. Of course, this is actually monumentally absurd when you think about it. The galaxy is full of ''trillions'' of Mekboyz and Weirdboyz who have collectively been Orkin' about for ''billions'' of years, and yet ''not one'' has ever figured out this fundamental aspect of Orkiness?

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically programmed with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want it to, the fact is that the Orks ''can'' actually produce, and even improve upon, technology based on certain conceptual principles that they somewhat understand and can replicate to some degree or another. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, Tellyportaz, and [[Gargant]]s. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races (at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

So if the Anzion Theorem is true, there are still some unanswered questions. For example, if Orks do indeed create some innate psychic field of belief, then would [[Sisters of Silence]] or a [[Blank]] be able to interfere with or destroy that power, thus causing Ork constructions to fail? We know Orks DEFINITELY have a passive psychic field, after all, but the Sisters don't seem to interfere with it in the same way that they do with the active psychic powers wielded by battlefield psykers. Perhaps the answer is that WAAAAGH energy is something almost completely different from the psychic abilities that other races use, and it therefore tends to ignore/negate some of the restrictions other psykers have. That would suggest that when the Old Ones created the Orks they used some other form of psychic phenomenon that is unrelated to or is isolated from the warp somehow. This might suggest that Orks' gestalt psychic field is actually a very advanced form of technology similar to that used to create the [[Webway]]. Alternatively there may be another distinct metalevel in the warp that Orks draw from; after all, we know Orks' gestalt field works as well in the warp as in reality, because their ships can traverse the warp without Gellar fields and remain unharmed. Ultimately we don't know, but there is definitely ''something'' going on. Probably. Who knows? In the end, we should look at it from the viewpoint of an Ork: As long as it works, who cares? Worrying about it just means less time krumping gits.

====Orks and the Emperor====

An extension of the "All Orks are Psykers" theory is that the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen 'appens (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're stupid enough not to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. <span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES!</span> {{BLAM|That's right, the "chaos boys" are messing with you Orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH! (-ahem- Heretics...)}}
Although in the Ghazkull/Makari novel they dismiss the "humies' dead god" as a pathetic wimp who cannot even stand from his throne to krump some gitz in person.

====Orks and Yarrick====
Another slightly less stupid theory. Commissar Sebastian Yarrick is still alive despite his massive, massive age because Ghaz and his boyz think he should be alive. Also Orks believe a glance from Yarrick can kill them, so Yarrick installed a laser eye and it works better against the greenskins. And of course, he also wields an Ork power klaw that, perhaps for the all the same reasons, apparently works quite well for him.

===Ork Technology is More Advanced than it Seems===
[[File:Ork tech.jpg|400px|thumb|right|This will happen given enough time and grots.]]
{{Topquote|Cultural collapse, reorientation of belief systems in the aftermath of a renaissance can provoke magical thinkin' in previously rational beingz...|Talker, Madboy on the subject of the Adeptus Mechanicus}}

On another perspective. Looking over the Ork codices from old to new the only record of Orks willing technology to work is one line in which a techpriest says "Well if we can't figure this out it must be magic". In fact, the only source besides that codex entry is this 1d4chan page... All other lore being from the Techpriest perspective. The Ork Codex points out that Mek Boys and Big Meks are genetically engineered by the Brain Boyz/Old Ones to know how technology works. In "Evil Sun Rising", the Big Meks who created the Stompa Fat Mork don't remember how they created their super compact, miniature red sun engine. The implication is that as the Meks worked together that it unlocked the technology. This might mean that the Brain Boyz/Old Ones programmed the mek genetics to gain access to bigger and better equipment when the army is at a proper size to create and maintain such weaponry. As Ork numbers grow and WAAAGHs become bigger more technology is unlocked. The Gorkanaut and Morkanaut walkers are unlocked when Meks begin thinking that a Great WAAAGH is coming along.

Ork technology is special in many ways; while crude and impossible from an outsider perspective almost all of Ork technology is based on the idea of [[Looted|looting the enemy technology]]. They are the apex scavengers and can create weapons from the technology of the Imperials, Tau, Eldar, Necrons, and even the biotechnology of the Tyranids. It could be guessed that the Brain Boyz wanted Orks to be able to adapt to any battlefield and be able to resupply without need of supply lines. In this way Orks don't need to wait for a spaceship to drop a Titan to the battlefield for back up, instead they can build one out of that broken humie one.

And this is BEFORE we even consider what the hordes of the Beast were able to do what no other concurrent faction could, such as create Void Shielded Deff Dreads, Ork Ambassadors, and teleporting attack moons into the Terra's orbit.

'''HOWEVER''' there are a few holes in this theory. First one must remember that the Imperium is not the only faction to try and study/retrofit Ork technology. The Tau have a much greater understanding of science and engineering than the Imperium and still cannot figure out Ork tek. Though there isn't much from the Eldar perspective on how Ork Tek works, which could just mean that they don't care. The second point is that Orks use materials that shouldn't work as components for weapons and technology. When was the last time you built a gun out of sheet metal and literal droppings, and it actually worked? Finally there's [[Colorz]]; red paint causes things to go faster, yellow causes explosions to be bigger, and purple makes everything stealthy. Though Colorz only exist in the rules with Red Ones Go Fasta and Deff Skulls being lucky, <s>most of the other stories are overblown fanfics by the fanbase</s> <span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>'''*SMASH*''' '''''WAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!'''''</span>.

Be that as it may. The possibility exists that mekboys are combining psyker abilities and inherent technical knowledge to construct tools and weapons with nano-level engineering, allowing orks to use tech with a crude appearance hiding devices of unimaginable sophistication.

===Special Note on Orky Vehicles===
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.

Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk is essentially an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission ( hilariously the official trukk model from Games Workshop has a horizontally opposed 6 cylinder engine - a 40K Boxer engine).

Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed)). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no infantry.