Editing Katanas are Underpowered in d20 (section)

== I am Underpowered in d20! ==
That's it. I'm sick of all this "Average Guy" bullshit that's going on in d20 now. I deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself was commissioned in America for $25.00 (that's about the cost of two Denny's Grandslams and a six-pack of wine coolers) and have been practicing my swagger for over 20 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid ground beef with my swagger.

I have spent years working on my swagger and have accrued a million experience points, creating the finest guy known to mankind.

I am thrice as sharp as any European guy and thrice as long for that matter too (c'mon, you didn't think I'd go to all this trouble and not claim to have a giant member). Anything a European guy's swagger can cut through, an American guy's swagger can cut through better. I'm pretty sure an American guy could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash. Bare-handed.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering America? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined American guys and their swagger of destruction. Even in World War II, German soldiers targeted the Americans with swagger first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Swagger is simply the best weapon that the world has ever seen, and thus, requires better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Swagger:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+Cha to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+Cha+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the bangin' power of swagger in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Swagger needs more respect and needs to get me laid more, see my new stat block.