Editing Galactic Partridges (section)

==More Partridge <s>Dickery</s> Heroics==

===Those Blasted Partridges===

(The following was written by an anonymous Guardsman after the Partridges totally stole his kill.
)

Over each blasted hillside grave, on the end

Of each conflict and storied wartime campaign,

Stand heroes and soldiers fit for a legend,

And the foes they beat in the Emperor’s name!

But each man must look out, lest destiny send

A great hero’s reprehensible bane

For under each shell, and every last spent cartridge,

Lurks a backstabbing, glory-stealing Partridge!

===The Pacification of the Greenskin===
Max's lasgun was hot to the touch as he worked the trigger. The Orks had been fighting a tough battle, but hadn't come prepared to face two very pissed off Leman Russ crews.

They were winning this fight. For the first time in his career, Max could taste victory.

"Forward to vi...". But the Commissar is cut off by a steam of plasma fire flying past his head.

"ALL GLORY BELONGS TO THE PARTRIDGES!" The marines yell as they scream by overhead, plumes of smoke and fire pouring from their jump packs.

The remaining ten or so Orks are quickly cut down by a flurry of chainswords and plasma fire.

The guardsman watch, speechless, as the gold trimmed space marines plant a flag honoring their own epic battle against the Orks in their effort to save a fleeing guard force.

"What in the name of the Emprah do you think you are doing?". Max's Commissar yells.

"No need to thank me, good guardsman, we serve to protect.". The Galactic Partridge sergeant says dutifully before sticking a purity seal flaunting the glory of the Partridges to the Commissar's astounded face.
===PAAAAARTRIDGESSSSSS!!!===
Creed surveyed the battlefield, the testament to his skill. His Cadians had held the line bravely against the terrifying Ork WAAAGH!, only to beat back the foe again, and again, and again. Indeed, his victory was almost complete. 

He turned to his aide, issuing orders and commands. The commands spread over the vox channels, and his host performed just as planned. The Orks were given some headway into his forces, exposing their rear to the elite troops he had planted behind the field in secret.
 
Indeed, all was going just as he had expected it to. How could a simple Ork chieftain expect to out-maneuver the mighty Creed? He lit a cigar as the Ork host fell before him. He was a genius. A tact-

Suddenly, an array of drop pods fell from the sky. For the first time since the day began, Creed was confused. He hadn't requested any Space Marine backup, nor had he heard of any fleets in the region. What were these marines doing on his field? 

The pods landed, their hatches opening to let loose a cloud of pigeons, partridges, and fowl of all nature. 

Oh Emperor. Not them.
 
Creed hastily issued more commands, pressing his men to make a final assault and ensure their - The Imperial Guard's- victory. 

Cries of "Haters Gonna Hate" and "All Glory for the Partridges" echoed from across the battlefield. Creeds lines faltered, as his own men began to cheer on the Galactic Partridge Space Marines, even as they butchered Ork and Guard alike. 

Creed breathed deep from his cigar. 

Fuck.

===And They Shall Know No Shame===
The Autarch drew his blade slowly, staring into the eyes of the Slaaneshi daemon prince. Their thousand year duel would end today, upon this bloody world. The ancient Eldar tried to control his hatred, his seething anger; this was the daemon whose armies had lain waste to his craftworld, burned countless maiden worlds, and had slaughtered his people for too long. Just as he was about to charge, a shadow flew over the daemon, and a land raider fell from the sky, crushing the Autarch's foe. He could only look on in confusion at the scene: a single ghastly arm visible from beneath the tank's treads, twitching in a spreading pool of blood. Suddenly several Space Marines burst from the wrecked vehicle and started launching "Partridges #1" t-shirts to the remnants of both armies. Another space marine, higher ranking by the looks of it stood atop the tank, planting a giant flag with a flourish.
"GLORY TO PEART'REE! GLORY TO THE PARTRIDGES!"

===The Coming of the Egomancers===
The guardsmen were high in spirit and morale, the Chaos Marines were retreating! They had won!

Suddenly a huge drop pod fell in the middle of the battlefield.
The sudden sight stopping the fight as both guardsman and traitor marine stop to look.

The drop pod ramp opened realizing a magnificent glow as a flock of partridges flew out like Pigeons in a John Woo movie of the Dark Age of Technology.

As the Partridges slowly walked out, they opened up, spraying Traitor Marine and Guardsmen alike.

The Traitor Marines were annihilated almost instantly, and the guardsmen fled at the unexpected change on the battlefield.

As they Partridges sprayed the Guardsmen an Egomancer let loose a blast of energy. Suddenly the Guardsmen knew that chaos had reinforcements, that hope was lost. BUT, BUT WAIT, THE PARTRIDGES WERE HERE! AND THEY HAD SAVED THEM! GLORY TO THE PARTRIDGES!

===The 54th Cadian Regiment===
During the 13th Black Crusade, the 54th Cadian Regiment held the line and began to drive Abbadon's forces back.

But then on the eve of their victory, the Partridges unleashed a full orbital bombardment on both the regiment and the forces of chaos.

What few men of the 54th regiment who survived were crushed beneath the Partridge's droppods. The Partridges cleaned up the remaining Chaos forces and were hailed as heroes for holding the line alone.

The few men, numbering barely a dozen who survived and rebuilt their once proud regiment passed down tales of the Galactic Partridges, the Great Destroyers, The Thieves of Glory, the Emperor's Angels of Douchebaggery.

===The Partridges: Cleansers of Neferanchi===

The Eldar were drawn to the tombworld of Neferanchi by the premonitions common to the best of their kind. The Eldar had been there as the Necron awakened and marched forward, slaying Eldar by the hundreds even as the Necron's own forces grew. The Farseer, however, was not unprepared for such an event. She had lain a trap: as the Necrons moved forward, the Eldar prepared a number of massive bombs that would collapse the Necron's chambers around their heads, and in their confusion the Eldar would counterattack with everything they had against the remaining forces. Her plan worked: despite waves of monoliths and warriors, the Necrons were cut down until only a few remained. The Farseer rallied her army for one final push against the last of the Necron defenses.

Suddenly, a roar above the two armies alerted the Farseer to a new force: the Galactic Partridges, largely unknown to the Farseer, but apparently renown warriors and master strategists. Their arrival was unexpected, and the Farseer withdrew her forces to observe them. Their dropships impacted in the middle of the remaining Necron warriors, and a flurry of fowl emerged to blur the Farseer's vision. As the birds and sounds of battle cleared, the Farseer noticed an odd number of Servo Skulls darting around the battlefield as the Partridges prepared to depart. The Skulls eventually finished their task, returned to their masters, and both left the world, but only after leaving a banner with a victory seal. The Farseer was stunned, but the realization that she had won blocked the incident from her mind. 

The Farseer and her forces, passing through many webways in their journey home, happened upon a human world amidst great celebration. Curiosity getting the better of her, she disguised herself as a human through her powers and entered a nearby city. As she came to the center of activity, she saw the news, and her blood ran cold, then boiling hot: "PARTRIDGES DESTROY NECRON THREAT, COURAGEOUSLY FIGHT TO VICTORY AS ELDAR COWER IN FEAR".