Editing The Toilets of the 41st Millennium (section)

===Eldar Toiletry===

The very existence of [[Eldar]] toilets is debatable, since the book ''Xenology'' suggests that Eldar may, in fact, excrete crystal, which accounts for the copious amount of gemstones on anything the Eldar make.

It varies from Craftworld to Craftworld. Among the most prominent examples;

Eldar toilets, coupled with a diet of cheese and spicy foods, are designed to make shitting as uncomfortable as possible. Rumor has it that Eldrad Ulthran designed the currently used forms. Each Craftworld likes their turds disposed of a little differently.

*[[Ulthwe]] - All toilets teleport their waste through the Webway to preset points in space and time, causing little bits of Eldar shit to land atop your helmet at just the wrong moment. Just as planned.

*[[Saim-Hann]] - Screams around at insane speeds throughout the craftworld, allowing the user to engage in flying joust matches of doom while relieving himself.

*[[Alaitoc]] - Their toilets are experimental sniper rifles that use Eldar turds for projectiles.

*[[Iyanden]] - Iyanden toilets are wraithbone constructs that extract the souls of Eldar shits and inter them within the toilet itself, creating a gestalt fecal consciousness.

*[[Biel-Tan]] toilets sing hymns of ancient glories and fill the shi with desire to kill all untermensch xenos.

[[Harlequin]] toilets are elegant and covered in smiley faces and checkerboard patterns. They don't flush after use, but seal off and shrink so they can be carried into battle and the contents emptied onto the enemy.

[[Dark Eldar]] - ...do you really want to stick an exposed part of your body inside something made by the Dark Eldar? Or expose a bodily orifice to something made by the Dark Eldar? (and the overwhelming fanboy response is... YES)

*Kabalite toilets actually seem innocent at first glance (well, apart from the excess spikes) but will often turn out to be booby-trapped and will launch poisoned spikes into the buttocks of whoever tries to use them, preferably a hierarchical superior.

*Wych cults do not need toilets. Once they're finished cutting up their enemies, they dump in the bleeding wounds of whichever ones are still alive.

*Scourges just make like the creatures they took their wings from; they do their business on the wing, preferably onto the face of someone who stared at them for too long.

*Incubi sects have access to ancient, amazing toilets rumored to date from before the Fall, but only a few have the right to use them. The only way to obtain the right to use them is to kill someone who has it in a duel.

*Most of the time, any Dark Eldar or human naïve enough to sit on a toilet from a Heamonculus coterie this will get horribly tortured and raped by a grotesque disguised as a toilet. Other times the toilets usually have barbed pins on the seats or acid packs in the flush mechanism. The Haemonculi themselves have much more efficient methods for disposing of their waste such as collecting it in a colostomy bag to coat their poisoned blades with.

*For Asdrubael Vect, the toilet is WHOever he says it is.