Editing Daria 40k (section)

===Turn 8: Metal Boxing Daria.===

"Well, I just got off the vox with the Inquisitor Lord."

"That whole thing about no phone sex on duty is more of a guideline, really." The Callidus Assassin snarked at her associate.

"He said to forget about that sorceress, we've got a new mission," The Culexus didn't miss a beat, "We're to hook up with the main force and help them take down that Cornhole guy. What is your connection to him, anyway? Old boyfriend?"

"Good Emperor, no. Don't even joke about that."

"Ok, so who is he? He sounds like a pretty big deal."

"Not the last I saw him. This was before your time, back in the Highland campaign. Just some moronic cult lackey I ran across on the Plaguelord Andarssun job. I should've killed him when I had the chance, but I was low on ammo and him and his idiot friend didn't seem worth it. I guess fate has a cruel sense of humor."

"What was your first clue? And how are we getting back to the front, anyway? No way we're there before sundown on foot."

"That's a good question. Didn't Inquisitor Sloane arrange for anything when he spontaneously reassigned us? Without notice." She said, the level of annoyance in her voice even greater than usual.

"I asked about that. He said every transport under his command already had somewhere to be. We made it this far on our own, we can come up with something. The Emperor will provide."

As if on cue, they spotted a bright yellow Rhino sitting by the side of the road. It was adorned with the crest of the Lions Chapter.

"See, what'd I tell ya?"

"Hmm, if we're really lucky, all the Marines have been massacred and we'll have it all to ourselves."

Sadly, The Emperor was not in that generous of a mood, for a squad of Space Marines lead by a Chaplain stepped out of the bushes. Instead of the typical skull mask of the chaplaincy he had instead a golden lion helm.

"Alright, Marines, everybody make sure your codpieces are done up before we head back in."

"Hey, room for two more?" The Culexus spoke up.

"Of course, girls. Anything to help our dear sisters. After all, The Emperor's light shines on all of us and-"

"Yeah, great, we need to get to where that daemon prince guy is. We're planning on taking advantage of the pine-box early retirement plan."

"What luck, that's where we're heading, too! It's like a sign!" The Chappy exclaimed joyfully.

"And it says danger, turn back while you can." The Callidus deadpanned.

"She's kidding. We'd be happy to ride along, wouldn't we?"

"Well, hopefully there'll be room for me to put my feet up. I need some rest."

"You've never ridden one of these crates before, have you?"

"No, why?"

"Just the idea of anyone finding it relaxing... Rattling around inside a metal box with shocks and struts whose maintenance schedule operates on geologic time across bomb-cratered backroads? Yeah, that's real soothing."

"Metal box?" The Assassin's face took on a dreamy, far-away quality, "That is soothing..."

"Uh... okayyy..."

And so, the two assassins and the brave men of the Lions were off to do battle with The Great Khorneholio.

"So, what's our status?" The Culexus asked absently.

"Well, we've more or less failed the mission we originally came here for, we've been propositioned by a hormone-crazed cephalopod and now we're being sent to our deaths in frontline combat against the galaxy's most annoying daemon prince. Did I miss anything?"

"Just the piles I'm getting from bouncing around on this hard plasteel seat. Not exactly a good day for morale, that's for sure."

"Oh no!" The Chaplain cried out, overhearing. "Low morale is one of the biggest challenges facing young warriors of Mankind today! That kind of thing could lead to... to..."

"Heresy?" There's that deadpan sarcasm again.

"Ohmigosh! I was going to say squad breakage, but that's even worse!"

"Well, don't worry. We don't have squad morale, we're independent characters." The Callidus reassured him.

"We walk alone." The Culexus backed her up.

"Still, we need something to raise spirits around here! Who wants to lead us in a rousing hymn?"

"I'll do it!" Said one of the Marines. It was Brother Kelvinus.

"''Ninety-nine boltershells in my bandolier!''
''Ninety-nine shells in my bandolier!''
''Shoot a heretic down''
''Load another round''
''Ninety-eight boltershells in my bandolier!''"

"You brought the suicide pills, right?"

"Yup. Took 'em both when I saw that tentacle monster. Unfortunately, after all the other crap I've done over the years, all they did was give me a tummyache."

"Emperor damn it..."