Editing Katanas are Underpowered in d20 (section)

== MoonYu is Underpowered on Path of Exile Forums ==

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Kripp for EMPEROR OF UNIVERSE OMG!!1" bullshit that's going on in the Path of Exile forums right now. MoonYus deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine MoonYu in Off Topic for 20 Eternal Orbs (that's about $140 on some shady online store) and have been practicing with him for almost 2 years now. I can even make MoonYu bite trough a slab of solid steel.

OT regulars spend years training a single MoonYu and feed him up to a million pieces of foodstuffs, metal cans, paper and GD topic refuse to produce the finest magical goat-man hybrid known to mankind.

MoonYu's wit is thrice as sharp as Wilkinson razorblade and thrice as dry for that matter too. Anything a katana (or a bulldozer, to be honest) can't cut through, MoonYu will simply bite through. I'm pretty sure MoonYu could easily destroy an average desync-whiner's mind by simply throwing a wall of text at him and then promptly eating his homework.

Ever wonder why contemporary GGG forum mods only toss crap topics into OT and then run like hell without looking once, never bothering to truly conquer the Glorious Off Topic Section? That's right, they are too scared to fight the deranged bunch of psychos who lurk there and their MoonYus of Destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the MoonYus first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? MoonYus are simply the best weapons of mass devouring that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for a single MoonYu:


Medium Magical Beast

Hit Dice: 20d10+12 (120 hp)

Initiative: -4 (lethargy mode), +10 when someone pisses him off

Speed: 30ft. (6 squares), 50ft. Charging

Armor Class: 25 (+15 natural), touch 15, can't get flat-footed

Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+20

Attack: Bite +10 melee (6d6+10 plus 2d6 acid), Kick +14 melee (8d6+14 plus 2d6 magical)

Space/Reach: 8ft./4ft.

Special Attacks: Swift Kick to Nuts (creatures without nuts, like Oozes, are immune), Vitriolic Bite, Mind**** Poetry, Mind**** Novel

Special Qualities: Darkvision 60ft., Cold, Fire, Acid, Electrical, Sonic resistance 20, Magic resistance 20, Immunity to Mind spells, Immunity to Death spells

Saves: Fort +12, Ref +15, Wil +10

Abilities: Str 18, Dex 22, Con 16, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 16

Abilities: Climb +15, Lore +15, Perform +22

Feats: Blind-Fight, Toughness, Spring Attack, Iron Will, Great Fortitude

Environment: Damp, cold beaches

Organization: Solitary

Challenge rating: YOU DARE CHALLENGE MOONYU?? YOU IDIOT!

Treasure: Bag of beach pebbles, 1d4 books

Alignment: Always Chaotic


Now that seems a lot more representative of the raw power of a MoonYu in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = MoonYus need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.