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{{NeedsImages}} {{dnd-stub}} Observing some striking correlations between the songs found in pop culture and the [[Dungeons & Dragons|DnD Multiverse]], people on the internet sometimes adapt these songs to bring out their true [[Bard|bardic]] potential.<br/> See also [[Grimdark Songwriting]]. <br/> === Johnny Cash: I've been Everywhere (I've fought everything)=== I was totin' myself<br/> Along the dusty Greyhawk southern road<br/> When along came a party<br/> With a halfling, dwarf, elf, and a gnome<br/> "If you're headin’ down to Greyhawk, bard<br/> With us you can ride."<br/> So I climbed into the cart<br/> And then I settled down inside<br/> They asked me if I'd seen a group<br/> That could dish out so much pain<br/> And I said,<br/> "Listen Bud,<br/> I've battled Every beast on our home plane."<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> Heard a harpy sing, man<br/> I've tanked the stirge’s sting, man<br/> Battle’s kinda my thing, man<br/> I've fought everything.<br/> fought a cloud giant, fog giant, fire giant, wolfwere,<br/> frost giant, hill giant, stone giant, jackalwere,<br/> Blood Hound, Hell Hound, Jungle Hound, bugbear,<br/> Bog Hound, Fen Hound, Trollhound, owlbear,<br/> Immoth, Quaggoth, Draegloth, werebear,<br/> aarokocra, amhisbaena, gorgimera, I'm a killa.<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> Heard a harpy sing, man<br/> I've tanked the stirge’s sting, man<br/> Battle’s kinda my thing, man<br/> I've fought everything.<br/> Fought a gorbel, dire camel, giant eel, Grimlock,<br/> elemental, achromental, fundamental, Meenlock,<br/> Fearweed, strangleweed, lashweed, Warlock,<br/> Annis hag, Green hag, Sea Hag, werefox,<br/> Wastrilith, Gehreleth, Marilith, Catoblepas,<br/> Stegosaurus, Hadrosaurus, Brontosaurus, with no fuss<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> Heard a harpy sing, man<br/> I've tanked the stirge’s sting, man<br/> Battle’s kinda my thing, man<br/> I've fought everything.<br/> Fought a Stone Golem Iron Golem, Flesh Golem, Red Dragon,<br/> Androsphinx, Criosphinx, Gynosphinx, Bronze Dragon,<br/> Cedar Spawn, Deepspawn, Dreamspawn, Mustard Jelly,<br/> Dracolich, Demilich, Archlich, Ochre Jelly,<br/> Su Monster, Rust Monster, beholder, hive mother,<br/> spectator, Cave fisher, see what I mean-er?;<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> Heard a harpy sing, man<br/> I've tanked the stirge’s sting, man<br/> Battle’s kinda my thing, man<br/> I've fought everything.<br/> I’ve fought a Dergoloth, Baernaloth, Gacholoth, Purple worm,<br/> Marraenoloth,Yagnoloth, Nycaloth, Wraithworm,<br/> Hook Horror, Helmed Horror, Mist Horror, Sand Cat,<br/> Hellcat, Moat cat, Plains Cat, Crypt Cat,<br/> Kocrachon, Cornugon, Gelugon, troglodyte,<br/> Death knight, fiend knight, winter wight, what a fight;<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> I've fought everything, man<br/> Heard a harpy sing, man<br/> I've tanked the stirge’s sting, man<br/> Battle’s kinda my thing, man<br/> I've fought everything.<br/> I’ve fought everything.<br/> ===Foster the People: Pumped Up Kicks (murderhobos)=== Fighter's got a strong arm<br/> He'll slaughter the whole room, he won't care who he harms<br/> He's got a brewed health potion<br/> Tied to his hip he’s an adventurer<br/> Yeah found a magic great axe<br/> In some dragon’s big hoard, oh in a room of fun toys<br/> I don't even know what<br/> But he's coming for you, yeah he's coming for you<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, outdash my axe<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, faster than my downswing<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, outdash my axe<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, faster than my downswing<br/> The DM works a long day<br/> we be playin’ too late, and he's playin’ too late<br/> but he's bringing me a surprise<br/> 'Cause snacks’re in the pickup and they're wrapped in bags<br/> I've waited for a long time<br/> Yeah the crit of my roll is now a strong weapon blow<br/> I reason with my health potion<br/> And say your head's on fire, you must have lost your spells, yeah<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, outdash my axe<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, faster than my downswing<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, outdash my axe<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, faster than my downswing<br/> [run, run, run, whistling]<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, outdash my axe<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, faster than my downswing<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, outdash my axe<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, faster than my downswing<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, outdash my axe<br/> All the other fiends with the magic things<br/> You'd better dash, better dash, faster than my downswing<br/> ===Robert Palmer: Bad Case of Loving You [Doctor Doctor](Bad Case of Rolling Ones)=== Woah<br/> Polymorph was cast, on my PC<br/> already knoooo,ow its low DC<br/> I need to, to make this save<br/> or else my char-acters in the grave<br/> DM DM, gimme the news<br/> I got a, bad case of rolling ones<br/> no skills gonna cure my ills<br/> I got a bad case of nat,ural ones<br/> a real good build, don’t mean no real good rolls<br/> I’ve known thaaa,t buddy from the start<br/> you think I should, take the lucky feat<br/> brother, I ain’t that kind of guy<br/> DM DM, gimme the news<br/> I got a, bad case of rolling ones<br/> no skills gonna cure my ills<br/> I got a bad case of nat,ural ones<br/> I know you like it, your save or die spells<br/> Tell me D M, are you gonna stop?<br/> you’ve taken out, all my good ideaaas<br/> While you chow down on, tortillas<br/> Roll my dice, scream and shout<br/> My PC’s dead, without a doubt<br/> DM DM, gimme the news<br/> I got a, bad case of rolling ones<br/> no skills gonna cure my ills<br/> I got a bad case of nat,ural ones<br/> === Bee Gee's: Stayin' Alive === Well, you can tell by the HP I've massed<br/> I'm a fightin' man: no time to cast.<br/> The barbs are silver, the dead are tolled, I've been downed a lot<br/> Since I was rolled<br/> but it's all right, it's okay<br/> the bard can heal me anyway<br/> So now let's try to understand<br/> The coastal wizards as a brand<br/> Whether you're a wizard or whether you're a lizard<br/> You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> The table's quakin' and the DM's a shakin'<br/> but we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive<br/> Ah when you want<br/> Well now, I roll low and I roll high<br/> but if I can't get either, I add a die<br/> Got an invocation on my bow<br/> I'm an archer man and a sniping pro<br/> You know it's all right, it's okay<br/> The Bard will heal me anyway<br/> We can try to understand<br/> The coastal wizards as a brand<br/> Whether you're a wizard or whether you're a lizard<br/> You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> The table's quakin' and the DM's a shakin'<br/> but we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me<br/> Somebody Help me, yeah<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me<br/> Somebody Help me, yeah, I'm stayin' alive<br/> Well, you can tell by the HP I've massed<br/> I'm a fightin' man: no time to cast<br/> The barbs are silver, the dead are tolled, I've been downed a lot<br/> Since I was rolled<br/> but it's all right, it's okay<br/> the bard can heal me anyway<br/> So now let's try to understand<br/> The coastal wizards as a brand<br/> Whether you're a wizard or whether you're a lizard<br/> You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> The table's quakin' and the DM's a shakin'<br/> but we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive<br/> Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me<br/> Somebody Help me, yeah<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me, yeah<br/> I'm stayin' alive<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me<br/> Somebody Help me, yeah<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me, yeah<br/> I'm stayin' alive<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me<br/> Somebody Help me, yeah<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me, yeah<br/> I'm stayin' alive<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me<br/> Somebody Help me, yeah<br/> Fight goin' nowhere, somebody Help me, yeah<br/> I'm stayin' alive<br/>
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