Editing Jaq Draco

''[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Not to be confused with the character from]] [[Harry Potter]]''

{{Oldschool}}
{{Wh40k-stub}}
{{Heresy}}
{{Sick|He longs for Genestealer ass}}
{{WTF}}
{{topquote|Though no daemon I, I feel in my bones that it might prove inauspicious to utter my own name overmuch ''in my own voice,'' [[wat|lest I may be summoned and bound - by hostile human forces.]] Therefore, ''I'' shall become ''he''. I, Jaq Draco, will tell the story of Jaq Draco as witnessed by a fly upon the wall, committing Jaq Draco's experiences to this data-cube in the hopes that the masters of the Ordo Malleus or the Inquisition itself may authenticate the truth of what I report and determine to take action.|Jaq Draco, already going off the rails in the '''third''' prologue of his first book.}}

{{topquote|Who knows, Ian. Maybe this is my next movie?|Stanley Kubrick, narrowly avoiding the spiral into becoming a fetish porn director.}}

{{topquote|This book...was...a mistake...|[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Rogal Dorn]].}}


Let's take a trip back, shall we? Back to the days of [[Squat]]s and non-[[Tyranid]] [[Genestealer]]s, to a time where the [[Tau]] were not even a glint in the eyes of any of GW's dev team, and to the times of [[Ian Watson]]'s ''Inquisition War'' novels.

This is where the tale of '''Jaq Draco''' resides. Apparently Once an [[Inquisitor]] of the [[Ordo Malleus]] (The inquisition itself Denies any association with him) back when they were focused on being watchdog to the other organizations, Jaq was then caught up in a massive scandal that sought to enslave humanity itself through use of the [[Illuminati (40k)|Illuminati]] and the [[Sensei]]. In an attempt to defy this, Jaq decided that, among other things, he had to go to [[Terra]] to pay the [[Emprah]] a visit. Because of how the Malleus in this era had vows against going to Terra (and another detail involving unsanctioned [[Exterminatus]]), this rendered Draco a renegade and heretic whom the Inquisition at large has <s>disowned</s> declared ''Traitoris Perdita''. Though whether it is because he was a loose cannon, his exploits being too improbable to be believed, or because he was too much of an embarrassing [[/d/]]egenerate (seriously, he goes on and on about how he wants his female companion's coochie...'''[[Extra Heresy|WHILE IN GENESTEALER FORM]]''') is up for debate.
Though it was probably all three.

Yes, this shit is a wild ride and a half, even considering this is a Squat-era 40k novel, much less the very ''first'' one.

==Early History==
Jaq was originally born on the planet Xerxes Quintus, which had become a hotbed for mutation and psykery since the [[Age of Strife]]. His parents were colonists who were tasked with researching the genome when they were murdered. Jaq was then shipped off to a missionary school, which was pretty much the [[Schola Progenium]] but before all the fluff about [[Commissars]] was fixed. He was eventually discovered to be a [[psyker]] on top of being too curious for his own good, so off he went to the [[Black Ships]] to become Emprah-chow...or so it would have been if he didn't manage to ingratiate himself to the Inquisitors on board, who took to him and thus kick-started his education as an Inquisitor. Again, his curiosity comes into play and led to him entering the "Inner Order", a secretive organization purposed with keeping watch over the Inquisitors.

==The Inquisition War==
During one op where Jaq watched over another Inquisitor's genestealer purge, he discovered (through his Emperor's Tarot) the presence of a Harlequin Man - a man dressed like a [[Harlequin]] - by the name of Zephro Carnelian. Believing him to be a threat, Jaq and crew began a big cat and mouse chase across the planet which ended with them hijacking the Planetary Governor's pet [[astropath]] and declaring [[exterminatus]] upon the planet because it inhabited some new strain of warp-monstrosity. Shortly afterward, Jaq uncovers the Ordo Hydra: a ultra-special-secretive cabal of Inquisitors (including Harp Obispal, the Inquisitor he was keeping an eye on, and his own mentor) who were planning on using this warp-spawned entity to fuse the minds of all mankind into one massive gestalt in order to stamp out the forces of [[Chaos]] for good and replace the dying Emperor. Though Jaq gets inducted into the Ordo, he still has serious concerns and thus mounts an expedition to the [[Eye of Terror]] to uncover the warp-spawn's origins and then to Terra to warn the Emperor and receive revelations of his own.

Once finished, he shoved everyone into stasis-crates and got shipped off to another world so as to escape any further patrols. They end up on Luxus Prime, which was in the middle of a heretic cult uprising, sans the team Squat (they eventually find him, he was just separated and had himself a helluva time) and lose their [[Navigator]] to some latent corruption. After pretty much guaranteeing that the cult was crushed and that the Planetary Governor was punished for his negligence, he helped himself to the Governor's astropath and booked it. He then came across unsettling news that Stalinvast (that planet he exterminatus'd) was now being occupied by [[Eldar]] (Harlequins, specifically) with not only Carnelian being assumed active again, but the assassin's superior went rogue and Jaq's own mentor (who was mind-scrubbed some years ago) was going to investigate the case.

==Retinue==
* '''Meh'Lindi''': A [[Callidus]] assassin who, for baffling reasons, was experimented on to ''only'' turn into a Genestealer, much to her horror. Being the only woman on this team, it didn't take much for everyone to get [[PROMOTIONS|funny ideas]], including the author himself, to the the point of fixating on her form multiple times, [[/d/|even when she's transforming via polymorphine and cramming herself into ducts]]. Naturally, Jaq's the only person she slept with, and even then it wasn't all that enjoyable. Was the focus of a short story explaining this procedure and how it came into perfect use in blowing up a [[Genestealer Cult]] (this was before Genestealers had a hive-mind and could just sniff her out instantly). [[Slaanesh|We're specifically told that Meh'Lindi even grows an artificial fuck-hole for her genestealer form.]] Honestly, we were better off not knowing that. Also [[Mary Sue|somehow]] an expert in operating several forms of [[Jokaero]] tech.
* '''Grimm''': A [[Squat]]. Later editions of the novels decided to retcon him with a deviant [[Techpriest]] named '''Grill'''. He was the focus of a short story about his time in the retinue of another Inquisitor whom he helped (alongside some Ogryns and marines) rescue a nascent psyker from a Chaos robot (hey, this was pre-[[Men of Iron]] and pre-Necron). He gets some of the best lines, such as "[There are] millions dead, and here I munch," followed by the inquisition's victory being "sugar on the porridge of death." These are ''real lines'', folks.
* '''Vitali Googol''': A [[Navigator]] with a fascination for poetry and wine. Got a bit corrupted during their trip to the Eye of Terror, which led to bigger issues including his eventual death.
**'''Azul Petrov''': The replacement Navigator Grimm dug up on Luxus.
*'''Moma Parsheen''': Originally the [[Astropath]] of Stalinvast's governor, and a literal crazy cat lady. She "forgot" to cancel the [[Exterminatus]] order for Stalinvast to get revenge on the governor, but regrets it after Grimm reminded her that she left behind her cats. Gets blammed by one of the Ordo Hydra inquisitors for messing with his plans.
*'''Fennix''': [[Astropath]] to the Planetary Governor of Luxus Prime. He's a rather strange sort of mystic hampered by his hyper-sensitive senses and his monkey-like anatomy.

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