Editing Madam Tricella's Travelling Loli Brothel

{{story}}
{{Sick|LOLI BROTHEL}}
OP tries to end a campaign session early by grossing out his players with pedo stuff, but things take an unexpected turn when everyone at the table is into it. [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/35703690/ The original thread.]


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I'll be the first to admit that mistakes were made. Before the session started, I had undergone a 40 hour vidya binge with a good friend. I should have called it off. Rescheduled. But no, I went through with it. Because what kind of GM would I be if I wasn't there for my group? A GM that wouldn't have ended up in this situation, that's what.

To make a long story short, a realm was opened and it was quite magical. Or maybe it doesn't count as a magical realm. Because the response has left me baffled and unsure of what to do. Things have quite spiraled out of control, I think. I'm playing with fire and it feels like it's in my lap but I'm afraid to look down.

To make a short story long, let me tell you about how the party came to encounter Madam Tricella's Travelling Loli Brothel.

{{greentext|it is late}}<br>
{{greentext|at this point, I am become caffeine, warder of sleep and jitterer of limbs}}<br>
{{greentext|the party (elven cleric, human ranger, half-orc rogue, dorf bard)has spent the last four and a half hours just rolling lazily through town, cleaning up some random goblins}}<br>
{{greentext|I have dropped some very subtle quest hooks in the form of rumors about a strange cult in a town to the north}}<br>
{{greentext|subtle like pink-winged mountains with lisping voices that fly to and fro through the air}}<br>
{{greentext|but the party is not having it}}<br>
{{greentext|or they just want to get a job done right}}<br>
{{greentext|even though the mayor told them that just kicking a few goblin asses would be more than enough}}<br>
{{greentext|no, we pro goblin exterminators now}}<br>
{{greentext|and so we go}}<br>
{{greentext|and the longer we go, the more I feel like I might start railroading}}<br>
{{greentext|or better yet, tie them to railroads}}<br>
{{greentext|with unbreakable magic bonds}}<br>
{{greentext|but no}}<br>
{{greentext|GM pride won't let me}}<br>
{{greentext|if only my GM pride had latched onto more than one thing I wouldn't do}}<br>
{{greentext|because I find myself thinking}}<br>
{{greentext|wuzzat thing /tg/'s always talking about that players hate}}<br>
{{greentext|oh yeah, fetish stuff}}<br>
{{greentext|and sleep deprived me hatches a plot}}<br>
{{greentext|maybe if I toss some fetish stuff at 'em, they'll leave}}<br>

{{greentext|I'm sure my brain was like, 'yo, what, no, no no no, what, no, how do you even}}<br>
{{greentext|but I wasn't listening}}<br>
{{greentext|I was a genius}}<br>
{{greentext|and so some haunting yet catchy tune starts to float through the air}}<br>
{{greentext|and it's not alone, a great big book is floating with it, a bag in tow}}<br>
{{greentext|and that great big book stops in the town's square, opens, and starts dropping rhymes}}<br>
{{greentext|I'm not sure what kind of voice I was going for but I was told later that the book sounded like John Cleese}}<br>
{{greentext|and what it said went something like this:}}<br>
{{greentext|"Hello there people, my fellows, my peers}}<br>
{{greentext|do me a favor, just lend me your ears}}<br>
{{greentext|let it be known to all within reach of this sound}}<br>
{{greentext|that Madam Tricella's Travelling Loli Brothel is back in town!}}<br>
{{greentext|Oh we've got all kinds from flat to budding}}<br>
{{greentext|and each single one is ripe for a raunchy good rutting}}<br>
{{greentext|come on down to our tent, do pull up a seat}}<br>
{{greentext|hell, just ask, they'll even use their feet!}}<br>
{{greentext|All you have to do is sign your name}}<br>
{{greentext|drop your coin in the bag, think nothing of shame}}<br>
{{greentext|Have a guiltless night and of merriment and revels}}<br>
{{greentext|with these darling saucy devils!}}<br>
{{greentext|To be fair though, a warning}}<br>
{{greentext|for those that would like to wake next morning}}<br>
{{greentext|treat these girls right to escape being ended}}<br>
{{greentext|by nasty means, drained of more fluids than you intended.}}<br>
{{greentext|but enough dark talk, come, find best of all}}<br>
{{greentext|in this, our sinner's festival!"}}<br>
{{greentext|note that this is an approximation}}<br>
{{greentext|I've slept for nine hours straight and still fell dead tired, details are fuzzy}}<br>
{{greentext|but the book said its piece and floating candles hovered in, marking off the path toward the aforementioned tent}}<br>
{{greentext|and my still addled self waited for the party to groan or something and move on}}<br>
{{greentext|I dunno what I was expecting, but it didn't happen}}<br>
{{greentext|nor did what, in hindsight, I might've expected to happen}}<br>
{{greentext|the party, you see, approached the book}}<br>
{{greentext|oh, maybe they're going to get all high and mighty and mess it up?}}<br>
{{greentext|then leave this lurid place in a huff?}}<br>
{{greentext|if only}}<br>
{{greentext|they each marked down their names and dropped money in the bag}}<br>

{{greentext|now this is when my brain finally started to catch up}}<br>
{{greentext|and I got a serious case of the ohshits as it beat what little sense it could across my fatigued consciousness}}<br>
{{greentext|but it was too late}}<br>
{{greentext|I was in the soup now}}<br>
{{greentext|little did I know how deep and absurdly tasty it was}}<br>
{{greentext|all right maybe I did know how delicious but I thought that was only to me}}<br>
{{greentext|because my players just drank it down}}<br>
{{greentext|a small apology to any reading this; I won't bore you with the many and thorough descriptions of lolis in various states of little to no dress and draped in varying amounts of scents and oils}}<br>
{{greentext|but I rattled them off as I went through my loli folder}}<br>
{{greentext|so, if you have waifu'd a loli from some popular mango or animu}}<br>
{{greentext|it's likely that I cast her as a whore in this trainwreck of a freakshow}}<br>
{{greentext|so, sorry}}<br>
{{greentext|and still I waited for the party to trash the place}}<br>
{{greentext|just go wild, since they were varying degrees of good}}<br>
{{greentext|I mean, yeah, this brothel wasn't some terrible den of evil, but}}<br>
{{greentext|but come on}}<br>
{{greentext|and with the straightest of faces}}<br>
{{greentext|they each took a girl}}<br>
{{greentext|the half-orc took two}}<br>
{{greentext|thank goodness I wasn't so far gone as to forget fade-to-blacks}}<br>
{{greentext|lord knows what horrors might've come about then}}<br>
{{greentext|but blacks were faded and some rolls were made for efforts and treatments and such}}<br>
{{greentext|the cleric, as a sidenote, was gifted magic loli-climaxing hands by the dice gods}}<br>
{{greentext|and so the night went}}<br>
{{greentext|and what did they do when they woke up, to my half-sober half-asleep self's amazement}}<br>
{{greentext|they patted sleeping loli heads and demanded to see the person in charge of this establishment}}<br>
{{greentext|now, I thought I was ready for everything at this point}}<br>
{{greentext|but as I scrambled together a Madam Tricella (an aged loli vampire, if it matters), they proved that I wasn't}}<br>
{{greentext|because they started asking the Madam about how well-oiled this operation was}}<br>
{{greentext|for one, they had noticed a lack of guards}}<br>
{{greentext|these roads were quite dangerous, talk of strange cults in the north and all}}<br>
{{greentext|perhaps they could help each other out?}}<br>

{{greentext|and so we ended the session with the Madam seriously considering their offer}}<br>
{{greentext|that fucking dorf's rolls, why}}<br>
{{greentext|he was in top bard form that morning}}<br>
{{greentext|maybe a blessing from loli lewds}}<br>
{{greentext|but I find myself looking toward the future with a whyboner of mixed horror and disbelief}}<br>
{{greentext|because I think I've somehow set in motion the Travelling Loli Brothel arc of this campaign}}<br>
{{greentext|may the emprah have mercy on my soul}}<br>

And there you have it. They left me bleary-eyed and listening to snatches of conversation about how this might be a great opportunity. A fully-staffed and mobile base of operations, they said. They'd just run protection to start, but they were already leaping ahead. By all that is good and holy, they were excited. A fervor was in them that I'd rarely seen before. Its cause? The ramblings of an exhausted to the point of madness pervert of a GM. I'm not sure where I'm going with is or what will happen, but please, fellow GMs, don't go without sleep. Save yourselves from this strange limbo.

And of course, /tg/, I ask you: what the nether hell should I do?