Editing Waagh geeks


The following is a transcript of a squad of orks during the short-lived Waaagh of Green Zog da Trukk, ending with the decisive victory of the Astra Militarum. The video for this transcript has been recorded by a servo-skull on its intial scouting/plotting mission during a heavy artilery bombardment run, and is archived by Segmentum Command to be studied on how the large ork fleet fell so quickly after planetfall.

"Dey shootin' us! Fight 'arda or it'll be yer 'ead on me pointy stikk!"

"Well maybe we don't be losin' so bad if some of our nobz wasn't fightin' with big met'l klaws!"

"Wot did you just say, ya pint sized git?!"

"Big, met'l, klaaghs!"

"Well deez klaws ain't just for choppin umiez ya stoopid grot!"

"Bring eet on ya git, I'z ded 'ard!"

"Oi! Stop fightin' againzt eachuvva an' fight da umies instead!"

"Now da walkin' tin kan will boss us 'round? Dun make me laff! I iz bigger so I'z da boss!"

"Eh, Boss? Why iz we not using any wartrukks?"

"Zog da trukk! Green iz best! Orks are plenti fast without trukks!"

"But red iz fastah."

"You stoopid git! I killed me twin bruva Red Flash Fastah to be boss! Now I'll chopp yer 'ead off just for sayin' dat!"

The orks are then seen upon video feed to be fighting amongst themselves while earthshaker rounds from Basilisk artillery guns pounds upon them, blasting most of the smaller greenskins to chunks. Their warboss soon succumbs to its injuries, and falls upon the infiltrating servo-skull, destroying all video feed. Auto-scribe systems failed afterwards, with the rest of the telecopied transcript being word salad. The servo-skull was lost, but was blessed post-mortem with the Reprimanded Impurity Seal of Comic Relief. Usually given by soldiers in this regiment who survive a miraculous amount of time before keeling over through ironic circumstancess (ie: successfully fending off a raid of Chaos cultists only to find a hive of genestealers in their own base).

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]] [[Category:Stories]] [[Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000]]