Angry Marines - Revision history

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2023-06-20T03:55:24Z

1,008 revisions imported

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2023-06-18T00:53:28Z

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2A01:E0A:4A4:33D0:3868:EA82:E8BD:DA81: /* See Also/Notable Angry Marine personnel */

2023-06-13T20:01:25Z

1d4chan>M112: /* The Tale of Shitfucker the Mildly Disgruntled */

2023-05-07T09:52:05Z

The Tale of Shitfucker the Mildly Disgruntled

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:52, 7 May 2023
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	==The Tale of Shitfucker the Mildly Disgruntled==		==The Tale of Shitfucker the Mildly Disgruntled==

	Shitfucker the Mildly Disgruntled was not a happy man. Of course, he was an angry marine so he was never actually happy but he was angrier than ever right at that moment. “WHY WON’T THIS MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF GUILLIMAN ASS WORSHIPING CUNT-TRASH FUCKING WORK!!!?” he pondered quietly to himself. This was because the angry marines were rapidly approaching the [[dakka]] limit. They were at the point where they physically couldn’t strap more weapons onto other weapons anymore, despite their general attitude that “PHYSICS IS FOR THOSE [[Mechanicus\|TOASTER FUCKERS]]”. This was giving the [[techmarines]], especially Master of the Armoury Mightelypissedoff the Third, quite the headache as they were under increasing pressure from the other angry marines to “FIX A FUCKING FLAMER TO IT YOU CUNT WAZZOCK”. This had resulted in an increased number going to the apothecaries complaining of the illness commonly called “REPEATED BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE BALLS WITH A FUCKING SPANNER”. In order to try and remedy this, Shitfucker started work on a secret project. For years he slaved away in complete silence (silence, that is, for an angry marine. Anyone else would have heard something along the lines of “WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT SCREW GO!!!!? I SWEAR TO THE [[Emperor of Mankind\|BIG FUCKER ON A GOLDEN CHAIR]] THAT IF ONE OF THOSE [[Chaos Gods\|NAMBY-PAMBY GHOST BITCHES]] TOOK IT I’LL COME INTO THE WARP MYSELF AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE HAVING A TITAN’S POWER FOOT SHOVED UP THEIR ASS!!!” As with most things, angry marines have a warped sense of volume).		Shitfucker the Mildly Disgruntled was not a happy man. Of course, he was an angry marine so he was never actually happy but he was angrier than ever right at that moment. “WHY WON’T THIS MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF GUILLIMAN ASS WORSHIPING CUNT-TRASH FUCKING WORK!!!?” he pondered quietly to himself. This was because the angry marines were rapidly approaching the [[dakka]] limit. They were at the point where they physically couldn’t strap more weapons onto other weapons anymore, despite their general attitude that “PHYSICS IS FOR THOSE [[Mechanicus\|TOASTER FUCKERS]]”. This was giving the [[techmarines]], especially Master of the Armoury Mightelypissedoff the Third, quite the headache as they were under increasing pressure from the other angry marines to “FIX A FUCKING FLAMER TO IT YOU CUNT WAZZOCK”. This had resulted in an increased number going to the apothecaries complaining of the illness commonly called “REPEATED BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE BALLS WITH A FUCKING SPANNER”. In order to try and remedy this, Shitfucker started work on a secret project. For years he slaved away in complete silence (silence, that is, for an angry marine. Anyone else would have heard something along the lines of “WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT SCREW GO!!!!? I SWEAR TO THE [[Emperor of Mankind\|BIG FUCKER ON A GOLDEN CHAIR]] THAT IF ONE OF THOSE [[Chaos Gods\|NAMBY-PAMBY GHOST BITCHES]] TOOK IT I’LL COME INTO THE WARP MYSELF AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE HAVING A TITAN’S POWER FOOT SHOVED UP THEIR ASS!!!” (as with most things, angry marines have a warped sense of volume).
	After a millennia, and many test subjects being told “BUCKLE UP CHUCKLE-FUCKS”, his work was done. Shitfucker emerged from his workshop and made his way towards where the chapter master lived. Of course, being stuck in a workshop for a thousand years, many of the newer angry marines didn’t recognise him and so he responded to the many calls of “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU YOU BALD HEADED CUNT!!!?” with a level and reasoned explanation “AND THE REPEATED INTRODUCTION OF THEIR FACE TO MY RIGHT FOOT AND THEN MY LEFT FOOT”. Barging into the command room (A very polite and reverential entrance for an angry marine), Shitfucker held up a power bat. It turned out that Shitfucker had added so much dakka that he had gone right past infinity and ended up with a melee weapon. Temperus Maximus, chapter master of the angry marines and probably the angriest cunt alive or dead, was so impressed that he picked it up and then smashed Shitfucker over the head with it “BECAUSE THE COCKGOBBLING LITTLE GIT INTERRUPTED THE DAILY MY LITTLE PONY VIEWING SESSION”. This blow shattered Shitfucker’s helmet which revealed the terrible cost that developing this weapon had wrought upon him. For when you experiment with dakka, dakka also experiments with you. Shitfucker had become an [[ork]]. The first marine to point this out then proceeded to find out that tens of meters of adamantium and void shielding do little to stop oneself when thrown towards a wall at a significant fraction of the speed of light by a very angry fucker. It was then decided that Shitfucker was indeed angry enough that his minor issue of becoming a xenos could be ignored. Ever since, Shitfucker the Mildly Disgruntled has been absolutely bloody livid alongside the rest of the chapter and all marines have been forbidden to break his denial of the fact that he is an ork “ON PAIN OF FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A POWER CHAIR IS INSERTED INTO THE CRANIAL CAVITY THROUGH THE FACE”.		After a millennia, and many test subjects being told “BUCKLE UP CHUCKLE-FUCKS”, his work was done. Shitfucker emerged from his workshop and made his way towards where the chapter master lived. Of course, being stuck in a workshop for a thousand years, many of the newer angry marines didn’t recognise him and so he responded to the many calls of “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU YOU BALD HEADED CUNT!!!?” with a level and reasoned explanation “AND THE REPEATED INTRODUCTION OF THEIR FACE TO MY RIGHT FOOT AND THEN MY LEFT FOOT”. Barging into the command room (A very polite and reverential entrance for an angry marine), Shitfucker held up a power bat. It turned out that Shitfucker had added so much dakka that he had gone right past infinity and ended up with a melee weapon. Temperus Maximus, chapter master of the angry marines and probably the angriest cunt alive or dead, was so impressed that he picked it up and then smashed Shitfucker over the head with it “BECAUSE THE COCKGOBBLING LITTLE GIT INTERRUPTED THE DAILY MY LITTLE PONY VIEWING SESSION”. This blow shattered Shitfucker’s helmet which revealed the terrible cost that developing this weapon had wrought upon him. For when you experiment with dakka, dakka also experiments with you. Shitfucker had become an [[ork]]. The first marine to point this out then proceeded to find out that tens of meters of adamantium and void shielding do little to stop oneself when thrown towards a wall at a significant fraction of the speed of light by a very angry fucker. It was then decided that Shitfucker was indeed angry enough that his minor issue of becoming a xenos could be ignored. Ever since, Shitfucker the Mildly Disgruntled has been absolutely bloody livid alongside the rest of the chapter and all marines have been forbidden to break his denial of the fact that he is an ork “ON PAIN OF FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A POWER CHAIR IS INSERTED INTO THE CRANIAL CAVITY THROUGH THE FACE”.

2607:FEA8:6042:24D0:91CA:3C94:C379:518: /* List of Things the Angry Marines Hate With a Passion */

2022-12-24T00:11:06Z

List of Things the Angry Marines Hate With a Passion

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:11, 24 December 2022
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	* The finale of Star Trek Enterprise - Captain Archer made some pretty fucking excellent speeches at times, but the grandest, the greatest, the ultimate... well, in the words of Captain Fucktious Twatsplasher, "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE ENDING YOU RETARDED, INBRED, STINKING, BRAINLESS, SOULLESS, DICK-GARGLING PAIR OF FUCKING FAGLORDS?!!!!!!" Many scribes died that day.		* The finale of Star Trek Enterprise - Captain Archer made some pretty fucking excellent speeches at times, but the grandest, the greatest, the ultimate... well, in the words of Captain Fucktious Twatsplasher, "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE ENDING YOU RETARDED, INBRED, STINKING, BRAINLESS, SOULLESS, DICK-GARGLING PAIR OF FUCKING FAGLORDS?!!!!!!" Many scribes died that day.

			* Losing - NO ONE BEATS THE ANGRY MARINES AND FUCKING GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!
	+++++++<br>		+++++++<br>

1d4chan>Wardollies: /* Induction V2.0 */

2022-12-19T13:38:15Z

Induction V2.0

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:38, 19 December 2022
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	Original version of the story was a mess and can be found [[Talk:Angry_Marines#original_Induction\|here]]		Original version of the story was a mess and can be found [[Talk:Angry_Marines#original_Induction\|here]]

			Alternate opinion: editing someone else's fiction into a barely literate parody of its former self is, well, fucking stupid. Read the original and make up your own mind.

	The dimly lit troop section of the drop pod was filled with noises that could pass for grunts under the sustained G of the drop pod's separation engine. Nine Space Marines endured the invisible hand of inertia with outward 'patience' and 'calm' born as much of familiarity as of training, genetic engineering, surgery and simmering RAGE. Nine squad'mates', and one other: even more calm, even if that was less attributable to experience.		The dimly lit troop section of the drop pod was filled with noises that could pass for grunts under the sustained G of the drop pod's separation engine. Nine Space Marines endured the invisible hand of inertia with outward 'patience' and 'calm' born as much of familiarity as of training, genetic engineering, surgery and simmering RAGE. Nine squad'mates', and one other: even more calm, even if that was less attributable to experience.

2.30.150.3: /* List of Things the Angry Marines Hate With a Passion */

2022-12-13T21:32:02Z

List of Things the Angry Marines Hate With a Passion

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:32, 13 December 2022
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	*[[Furries]] - Daemonspawn of Slaanesh.		*[[Furries]] - Daemonspawn of Slaanesh.

	*[[necron]] - BECAUSE IF I FUCKING TEAR YOU INTO PIECES YOU CAN'T JUST STAND UP AGAIN!!!!		*[[necron]] - BECAUSE IF I FUCKING TEAR YOU INTO PIECES YOU CAN'T JUST STAND UP AGAIN!!!! STAY DEAD, DICKSUCKING SHITFUCKIGN XENO!!!
	STAY DEAD, DICKSUCKING SHITFUCKIGN XENO!!!

	*Anything [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] - Slaanesh is the God of all that is faggotry in the Warhammer 40,000 universe.		*Anything [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] - Slaanesh is the God of all that is faggotry in the Warhammer 40,000 universe.

2.30.150.3: /* The Angry Marine Hall of Awesome Deaths/THE FUCKAWESOME WALL OF DEATH!!! */

2022-12-13T21:28:04Z

The Angry Marine Hall of Awesome Deaths/THE FUCKAWESOME WALL OF DEATH!!!

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	'''Apothecary ~~“YOUR~~ NOT DYING ON MY FUCKING WATCH!!!'''		'''Apothecary “YOU'RE NOT DYING ON MY FUCKING WATCH!!!'''

	Died bringing a Dreadnought back to life. Upon bringing it back to life the Apothecary was immediately punched on reflex by the Dreadnought, upon which the Apothecary shot the Dreadnought to death, also on reflex. Unfortunately for FUCKING WATCH, he had been trained mercilessly to revive his Battle Brothers, so brought the Dreadnought back to life, to only get punched and then shoot the Dreadnought. This continued until the poor Apothecary was pulped to death by the Dreadnought's claw.		Died bringing a Dreadnought back to life. Upon bringing it back to life the Apothecary was immediately punched on reflex by the Dreadnought, upon which the Apothecary shot the Dreadnought to death, also on reflex. Unfortunately for FUCKING WATCH, he had been trained mercilessly to revive his Battle Brothers, so brought the Dreadnought back to life, to only get punched and then shoot the Dreadnought. This continued until the poor Apothecary was pulped to death by the Dreadnought's claw.

2.30.150.3: /* A Literal Shit Storm */

2022-12-13T14:34:27Z

A Literal Shit Storm

Show changes

2.30.150.3: /* The relics of the Angry Marines */

2022-12-11T17:27:04Z

The relics of the Angry Marines

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:27, 11 December 2022
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	'''the looted, looted, looted, Pretty Marines "WARGH MOTHERFUCKER!!!" Banner.'''		'''the looted, looted, looted, Pretty Marines "WARGH MOTHERFUCKER!!!" Banner.'''

	A banner which was once owned by the pretty marines, at the time called the "Notice Me Senpai" banner, it provided space warping properties of the same manner used by ~~deamonettes~~ to hide their crab claws, granting all pretty marines around it incredible beauty and two-inch-thick plot armour, as it effectively made all pretty marines within its range main characters in an anime, so how could they die. Unfortunately (for the pretty marines at least) the orks don't give a shit about anyone else's plot armour apart from their own (and yarricks, da greatist an orkiest humie eva!) and proceeded to brutalise the pretty marines with their long, hard shafts/choppas, and took the banner for themselves.		A banner which was once owned by the pretty marines, at the time called the "Notice Me Senpai" banner, it provided space warping properties of the same manner used by daemonettes to hide their crab claws, granting all pretty marines around it incredible beauty and two-inch-thick plot armour, as it effectively made all pretty marines within its range main characters in an anime, so how could they die. Unfortunately (for the pretty marines at least) the orks don't give a shit about anyone else's plot armour apart from their own (and yarricks, da greatist an orkiest humie eva!) and proceeded to brutalise the pretty marines with their long, hard shafts/choppas, and took the banner for themselves.

	The banner was used for quite some time by ork commandos, who used its powers to make them look absolutely fabulous (or at least good looking enough to a guardsman who hasn't had sexual contact with another human for months) and thereby sneak up on enemy positions. Those they snuck up on could still see the orks, but would be too busy having awkward boners etc to notice, boners which they would die with as the commandos chopped them to pieces. Over time however, the banner began to lose its strength, being replaced more and more by wargh energies, and although it still provided a healthy glow to the orks (5/10 while drunk), it was no longer enough to hypnotise the enemy, resulting in the commandos being curpstomped by a squad of storm troopers, and the banner was then taken by the inquisition.		The banner was used for quite some time by ork commandos, who used its powers to make them look absolutely fabulous (or at least good looking enough to a guardsman who hasn't had sexual contact with another human for months) and thereby sneak up on enemy positions. Those they snuck up on could still see the orks, but would be too busy having awkward boners etc to notice, boners which they would die with as the commandos chopped them to pieces. Over time however, the banner began to lose its strength, being replaced more and more by wargh energies, and although it still provided a healthy glow to the orks (5/10 while drunk), it was no longer enough to hypnotise the enemy, resulting in the commandos being curpstomped by a squad of storm troopers, and the banner was then taken by the inquisition.

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:01, 13 June 2023
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	*Head serf Chef Gordon Ramsey, the only man angry enough to cook for the Angry Marines, although they consider him to be a pansy.		*Head serf Chef Gordon Ramsey, the only man angry enough to cook for the Angry Marines, although they consider him to be a pansy.
	*Malcolm Tucker, Administratum liaison to the Angry Marines, the only one deranged enough to treat with them. They even speak the same language.		*Malcolm Tucker, Administratum liaison to the Angry Marines, the only one deranged enough to treat with them. They even speak the same language.
	* korland slaughter Maximus thane and the last wall during the war of the beast because oh because they where action heroes especially those two
	*logan grammar and the space wolves for Armageddon
	* roboute gulliman and Dante plus the god or emperor of man kind and other loyalest primarchs beacuse we don,t want to get in trouble plus eccecarchs umburto II and sabaston Thor such legends
	* helbracts and the black templers brothers .

	= Gallery =		= Gallery =