Arseplomancer - Revision history

imported>Administrator: 89 revisions imported

2023-06-17T19:47:06Z

89 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 19:47, 17 June 2023
(No difference)

1d4chan>Slipmcripfist: link

2023-05-12T03:40:29Z

link

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:40, 12 May 2023
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	The exact particulars of the build are not set in stone, but here are the core requirements:		The exact particulars of the build are not set in stone, but here are the core requirements:
	* A Small race and-or access to the ''alter self'' spell to become one (since the spell offers a +2 Dex boost and, otherwise, you'd have a hell of a time fitting into the average Medium creature's asshole)		* A Small race and-or access to the ''alter self'' spell to become one (since the spell offers a +2 Dex boost and, otherwise, you'd have a hell of a time fitting into the average Medium creature's asshole)
	* 5 levels in the prestige class [[Exemplar]] (~~Exemplar is a [[prestige class]]~~ in [[Complete Book Series\|Complete Adventurer]])		* 5 levels in the prestige class [[Exemplar]] (in [[Complete Book Series\|Complete Adventurer]])
	* Skill Mastery (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)		* Skill Mastery (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
	* Skill Artistry (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)		* Skill Artistry (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)

62.217.188.114 at 12:30, 3 May 2023

2023-05-03T12:30:48Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:30, 3 May 2023
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			{{WTF}}
	AKA how gamers predicted the Thanus Theory 15 years early.		AKA how gamers predicted the Thanus Theory 15 years early.

	Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, ~~dragon~~ magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.		[[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition\|Dungeons and Dragons 3.X]] has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, [[Dragon Magazine\|Dragon magazines]]). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by [[Wat\|crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus]], resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.

	==The Build==		==The Build==
	The exact particulars of the build are not set in stone, but here are the core requirements:		The exact particulars of the build are not set in stone, but here are the core requirements:
	* A Small race and-or access to the ''alter self'' spell to become one (since the spell offers a +2 Dex boost and, otherwise, you'd have a hell of a time fitting into the average Medium creature's asshole)		* A Small race and-or access to the ''alter self'' spell to become one (since the spell offers a +2 Dex boost and, otherwise, you'd have a hell of a time fitting into the average Medium creature's asshole)
	* 5 levels in the prestige class [[Exemplar]] (Exemplar is a [[prestige class]] in Complete Adventurer)		* 5 levels in the prestige class [[Exemplar]] (Exemplar is a [[prestige class]] in [[Complete Book Series\|Complete Adventurer]])
	* Skill Mastery (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)		* Skill Mastery (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
	* Skill Artistry (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)		* Skill Artistry (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
	* A somewhat generous interpretation of Exemplar's level 5 class feature, Persuasive Performance, assuming you want to use the follower portion and not to just kill people with ass-splosions.		* A somewhat generous interpretation of Exemplar's level 5 class feature, Persuasive Performance, assuming you want to use the follower portion and not to just kill people with ass-splosions.
	* A way to grow (e.g. the spell Righteous Might, the psionic power Expansion, or any magic item charged with a use of Enlarge Person)		* A way to grow (e.g. the spell Righteous Might, the [[Psionic\|psionic]] power Expansion, or any magic item charged with a use of Enlarge Person)
	* A way to get your escape artist skill bonus really high through different stackable boosts (feats, skill ranks, magic items, class abilities etc.)		* A way to get your escape artist skill bonus really high through different stackable boosts (feats, skill ranks, magic items, class abilities etc.)
	* A way to ensure that your expansion is sufficient to kill (some kinda Strength boost)		* A way to ensure that your expansion is sufficient to kill (some kinda Strength boost)
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	The arseplomancer uses this DC to rapidly crawl through the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics (the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude), thus turning ordinary people into (sadly temporary) devoted disciples of this mighty super-man who can leap into assholes.		The arseplomancer uses this DC to rapidly crawl through the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics (the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude), thus turning ordinary people into (sadly temporary) devoted disciples of this mighty super-man who can leap into assholes.

	Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can activate his size-changing power in order to grow, exploding the victim from within. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that. Although since the victim already has actual hit points, it'd be better to use that than a formula based on how to determine leather's hit points.		Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can activate his size-changing power in order to grow, exploding the victim from within. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to [[Alien\|burst through the victim]]. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that. Although since the victim already has actual [[hit points]], it'd be better to use that than a formula based on how to determine leather's hit points.

	==Ways to improve your bonus to escape artist checks==		==Ways to improve your bonus to escape artist checks==
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	==Ways to add to the FUN==		==Ways to add to the FUN==
	* ''The Complete Adventurer'' says you can cut the time of an escape artist attempt in half at the cost of increasing the DC by 10		* ''The Complete Adventurer'' says you can cut the time of an escape artist attempt in half at the cost of increasing the DC by 10.

	== No Fun Allowed ==		== No Fun Allowed ==
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	== 5e Unearthed Arcana ==		== 5e Unearthed Arcana ==
	With the release of the Mystic from Unearthed Arcana, there is now a way of performing this in 5e, with a fun DM.		With the release of the [[Mystic]] from [[Unearthed Arcana]], there is now a way of performing this in 5e, with a fun [[DM]].
	Take Order of the Immortal, and the psychic disciplines Diminution and Giant Growth. Use Diminution's Microscopic form in order to become smaller than tiny. Crawl up the target's anus, which can be done with squeezing, then while inside the target, Use Giant Growth's Giant Form in order to go from smaller than tiny to ~~Huge~~ in the space of a second. This will either kill the target, or if the target has many ~~Hit Points~~, expand their anus to wider than a house. Either way, Lulz will ensue.		Take Order of the Immortal, and the psychic disciplines Diminution and Giant Growth. Use Diminution's Microscopic form in order to become smaller than tiny. Crawl up the target's anus, which can be done with squeezing, then while inside the target, Use Giant Growth's Giant Form in order to go from smaller than tiny to huge in the space of a second. This will either kill the target, or if the target has many hit points, expand their anus to wider than a house. Either way, [[Lulz]] will ensue.

	==Outside Links==		==Outside Links==

2607:FB90:5520:1B4:154D:E100:8FC2:EDCB: /* How it works */

2022-12-19T03:34:36Z

How it works

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:34, 19 December 2022
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	Basically, like [http://x-files.wikia.com/wiki/Eugene_Victor_Tooms that killer boneless guy from ''The X-Files''].		Basically, like [http://x-files.wikia.com/wiki/Eugene_Victor_Tooms that killer boneless guy from ''The X-Files''].

	The arseplomancer uses this DC to to rapidly crawl through the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics (the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude), thus turning ordinary people into (sadly temporary) devoted disciples of this mighty super-man who can leap into assholes.		The arseplomancer uses this DC to rapidly crawl through the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics (the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude), thus turning ordinary people into (sadly temporary) devoted disciples of this mighty super-man who can leap into assholes.

	Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can activate his size-changing power in order to grow, exploding the victim from within. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that. Although since the victim already has actual hit points, it'd be better to use that than a formula based on how to determine leather's hit points.		Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can activate his size-changing power in order to grow, exploding the victim from within. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that. Although since the victim already has actual hit points, it'd be better to use that than a formula based on how to determine leather's hit points.

35.132.228.245: jeezus some people are dense

2022-10-25T04:41:00Z

jeezus some people are dense

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:41, 25 October 2022
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	AKA how gamers predicted the ~~Thanos~~ Theory 15 years early.		AKA how gamers predicted the Thanus Theory 15 years early.

	Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.		Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.

1d4chan>FederalKoboldInspector: fixed a formatting error

2022-08-16T04:08:06Z

fixed a formatting error

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:08, 16 August 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	AKA how gamers predicted the Thanos		AKA how gamers predicted the Thanos Theory 15 years early.
	Theory 15 years early.

	Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.		Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.

2600:1010:B16C:51AF:5C3C:1D0C:99C5:3F7B at 00:08, 16 August 2022

2022-08-16T00:08:25Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:08, 16 August 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	AKA how gamers predicted the ~~Thanus~~ Theory 15 years early.		AKA how gamers predicted the Thanos
			Theory 15 years early.

	Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.		Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.

2600:6C5D:5E7F:C474:D9EA:560D:1768:39DE: It's funnier this way, if idiots don't get it we don't cave to them

2022-07-06T05:16:55Z

It's funnier this way, if idiots don't get it we don't cave to them

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:16, 6 July 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	AKA how gamers predicted the ~~Antman-Kills-Thanos~~ Theory 15 years early.		AKA how gamers predicted the Thanus Theory 15 years early.

	Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.		Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.

1d4chan>Nubnuber at 03:38, 28 April 2022

2022-04-28T03:38:55Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:38, 28 April 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	AKA how gamers predicted the Thanos Theory 15 years early.		AKA how gamers predicted the Antman-Kills-Thanos Theory 15 years early.

	Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.		Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.

152.65.163.152 at 18:01, 27 April 2022

2022-04-27T18:01:21Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:01, 27 April 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	AKA how gamers predicted the ~~Thanus~~ Theory 15 years early.		AKA how gamers predicted the Thanos Theory 15 years early.

	Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.		Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks (and in some cases, dragon magazines). Obviously this build isn't as powerful as the omnipotent [[Pun-Pun]], and it might not even be finished on paper. Yet it is perhaps even more [[lulz]]y. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man (or any sufficiently large foe with an anus really) in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive tract via his anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.