Bjorn the Fell Handed - Revision history

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2023-06-17T23:25:29Z

140 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 23:25, 17 June 2023
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2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:29E7:5AFC:EED2:89A6 at 11:44, 10 June 2023

2023-06-10T11:44:50Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:44, 10 June 2023
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	'''Bjorn the Fell Handed''' (Imperial Gothic: Bear) is a [[Dreadnought]] of the [[Space Wolves]], and the single oldest loyal Space Marine alive (or, well, at least still in active service. Because, err..., well you know). No relation to Sigmar's dad. Probably.		'''Bjorn the Fell Handed''' (Imperial Gothic: Bear) is a [[Dreadnought]] of the [[Space Wolves]], and the single oldest loyal Space Marine alive (or, well, at least still in active service. Because, err..., well you know). No relation to Sigmar's dad. Probably.

	== About Bjorn ==		==About Bjorn==
	[[File:Bjorn of Tra.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\|Before he lost his hand and became a mobile coffin, this was Bjorn...kinda looks like [[Cyrus]], though that's definitely just a circular tattoo around one of his eyes rather than a cybernetic eye.]]		[[File:Bjorn of Tra.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\|Before he lost his hand and became a mobile coffin, this was Bjorn...kinda looks like [[Cyrus]], though that's definitely just a circular tattoo around one of his eyes rather than a cybernetic eye.]]
	Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.		Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.
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	Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.		Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.

	== On the Tabletop ==		==On the Tabletop==
	{\| class=wikitable		{\| class=wikitable
	! \|\| Pts \|\| M \|\| WS \|\| BS \|\| S \|\| T \|\| W \|\| A \|\| Ld \|\| Sv		! \|\| Pts \|\| M \|\| WS \|\| BS \|\| S \|\| T \|\| W \|\| A \|\| Ld \|\| Sv
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	----		----

	=== Bjorn's Happy End ===		===Bjorn's Happy End===
	Slowly his thoughts arose from their centuries of slumber once more. Chemical stimulants pumped in through the tubes connected to his sarcophagus and washed away the residual grogginess of stasis sleep. The sound of servos activating, lifting his armored shell from its resting position into an upright stance, heralded the sudden explosion of light that filled his vision before clarifying into a familiar scene. Apothecaries and TechMarines stood before him, data-slates and tools in their hands, and one white-haired marine ahead of all the rest in the center of his field of view. The decorations on his armor identified him as Brother-Captain. Something seemed a touch unusual about the whole scenario, but he couldn't quite put his power claw on it. No matter. It seemed the time had come again.		Slowly his thoughts arose from their centuries of slumber once more. Chemical stimulants pumped in through the tubes connected to his sarcophagus and washed away the residual grogginess of stasis sleep. The sound of servos activating, lifting his armored shell from its resting position into an upright stance, heralded the sudden explosion of light that filled his vision before clarifying into a familiar scene. Apothecaries and TechMarines stood before him, data-slates and tools in their hands, and one white-haired marine ahead of all the rest in the center of his field of view. The decorations on his armor identified him as Brother-Captain. Something seemed a touch unusual about the whole scenario, but he couldn't quite put his power claw on it. No matter. It seemed the time had come again.

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	"NO, ENOUGH FUCKING RE~ YES. SOME MORE REST, INDEED."		"NO, ENOUGH FUCKING RE~ YES. SOME MORE REST, INDEED."

	=== Stormfangs ===		===Stormfangs===
	"AT THIS POINT, ORNAMENTS AND FILIGREE SOUND FUCKING PEACHY KEEN. BRING BACK THE GILDED RUNES AND SHIT. DRESS ME UP LIKE THAT FUCKING PONCE FULGRIM. JUST LET ME DO BATTLE"		"AT THIS POINT, ORNAMENTS AND FILIGREE SOUND FUCKING PEACHY KEEN. BRING BACK THE GILDED RUNES AND SHIT. DRESS ME UP LIKE THAT FUCKING PONCE FULGRIM. JUST LET ME DO BATTLE"

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	Bjorn stalked back towards the stasis vaults and cryo-tanks, dead tech-adept in hand. He needed a nap. A long, quiet nap. When he woke up, he quietly hoped the whole Chapter would be extinct or too bestial to fight. Then he'd have some peace and quiet.		Bjorn stalked back towards the stasis vaults and cryo-tanks, dead tech-adept in hand. He needed a nap. A long, quiet nap. When he woke up, he quietly hoped the whole Chapter would be extinct or too bestial to fight. Then he'd have some peace and quiet.

	=== [[Wulfen]] ===		===[[Wulfen]]===
	The rhythmic thumping kept heightening until he could no longer ignore it. With great reluctance he finally pulled himself out of the artificial slumber.		The rhythmic thumping kept heightening until he could no longer ignore it. With great reluctance he finally pulled himself out of the artificial slumber.

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	"Yvraine huh? [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Priorities_ba536b_6833904.jpg Does she have a wraith sister?]"		"Yvraine huh? [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Priorities_ba536b_6833904.jpg Does she have a wraith sister?]"

	== External Links ==		==External Links==
	* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13552516/ This is Bjorn's story as it was ORIGINALLY posted to 4chan, replete with grammar errors, replies, praise, etc. Also, if you have questions or are puzzled by the stories, this link should illuminate things significantly.]		* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13552516/ This is Bjorn's story as it was ORIGINALLY posted to 4chan, replete with grammar errors, replies, praise, etc. Also, if you have questions or are puzzled by the stories, this link should illuminate things significantly.]
	* [http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Bjorn_the_Fell-Handed Bjorn the Fell-Handed is NOT exclusively a creation of /tg/ and the Warhammer 40k fandom! Click here to read about his role in the Warhammer 40k universe as originally contrived!]		* [http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Bjorn_the_Fell-Handed Bjorn the Fell-Handed is NOT exclusively a creation of /tg/ and the Warhammer 40k fandom! Click here to read about his role in the Warhammer 40k universe as originally contrived!]

2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:EC49:7D91:F433:A853 at 11:07, 4 June 2023

2023-06-04T11:07:54Z

1d4chan>Piroko at 21:37, 18 October 2022

2022-10-18T21:37:23Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:37, 18 October 2022
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	[[File:The_Fell_Handed.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\| GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!]]		[[File:The_Fell_Handed.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\| GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!]]
	{{topquote\|God-Emperor? Calling him a god is why this mess started in the first place.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed's apt summary on why [[Horus Heresy\|everything went wrong]] in the [[Great Crusade]]}}		{{topquote\|God-Emperor? Calling him a god is why this mess [[Lorgar\|started]] in the first place.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed's apt summary on why [[Horus Heresy\|everything went wrong]] in the [[Great Crusade]]}}

	{{topquote\|Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed sharing his tales of [[The God-Emperor of Mankind]]}}		{{topquote\|Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed sharing his tales of [[The God-Emperor of Mankind]]}}

206.209.15.102: /* About Bjorn */ Never explicitly stated.

2022-09-09T20:33:14Z

About Bjorn: Never explicitly stated.

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:33, 9 September 2022
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	The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.		The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.

	Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought~~. On a somewhat amusing note this makes absolutely no sense as the Space Marines are deliberately engineered to be asexual~~. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.		Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.

	== On the Tabletop ==		== On the Tabletop ==

180.191.247.80: /* About Bjorn */

2022-08-09T08:31:42Z

About Bjorn

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:31, 9 August 2022
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	Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.		Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.

	Unlike most characters from the Horus Heresy books, Bjorn didn't start out as an ultimate badass, he was just a Grey Hunter in the Third Great Company, and his first notable action was [[derp\|a fuck-up]] where he shot down a remembrancer's shuttle by error. As a 'punishment', he was assigned to keep guard on the guy, and that in turn led him to [[not as planned\|ruin the day]] of a Tzeentchian Daemon trying to manipulate things on [[Prospero]]. That's where he lost his arm and first attracted the attention of his leaders.		Unlike most characters from the Horus Heresy books, Bjorn didn't start out as an ultimate badass, he was just a Grey Hunter in the Third Great Company, and his first notable action was [[derp\|a fuck-up]] where he shot down a remembrancer's shuttle by error. As a 'punishment', he was assigned to keep guard on the guy, and that in turn led him to [[not as planned\|ruin the day]] of a Tzeentchian Daemon trying to manipulate things on [[Prospero]]. That's where he lost his arm, earning his epithet in the process, and first attracted the attention of his leaders.

	After that, he and his company had a [[rape\|run-in]] with a Khornate Daemon, and Bjorn saw all his battle-brothers get slaughtered. [[Rage\|A little angry]] at this, he swore eternal vengeance against the damn bastard and that he would gut him next time, becoming the first [[Lone Wolf]]. And so he did a couple of years later. With extreme prejudice. Beating his [[Leman Russ\|Primarch]] to the punch of [[rip and tear\|visiting vengeance so unholy]] upon the daemon he's never been seen again for 10,000 years. Even Russ was impressed, so he held Bjorn's oath fulfilled and gave him a place in his [[Wolf Guard]] on the spot.		After that, he and his company had a [[rape\|run-in]] with a Khornate Daemon, and Bjorn saw all his battle-brothers get slaughtered. [[Rage\|A little angry]] at this, he swore eternal vengeance against the damn bastard and that he would gut him next time, becoming the first [[Lone Wolf]]. And so he did a couple of years later. With extreme prejudice. Beating his [[Leman Russ\|Primarch]] to the punch of [[rip and tear\|visiting vengeance so unholy]] upon the daemon he's never been seen again for 10,000 years. Even Russ was impressed, so he held Bjorn's oath fulfilled and gave him a place in his [[Wolf Guard]] on the spot.
Line 22:		Line 22:
	The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.		The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.

	Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. On a somewhat amusing note this makes absolutely no sense as the Space Marines are deliberately engineered to be asexual. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.		Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. On a somewhat amusing note this makes absolutely no sense as the Space Marines are deliberately engineered to be asexual. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.

	== On the Tabletop ==		== On the Tabletop ==

184.175.25.147 at 06:43, 9 August 2022

2022-08-09T06:43:52Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:43, 9 August 2022
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	== About Bjorn ==		== About Bjorn ==
	[[File:Bjorn of Tra.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\|Before he lost his hand and became a mobile coffin, this was Bjorn.]]		[[File:Bjorn of Tra.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\|Before he lost his hand and became a mobile coffin, this was Bjorn...kinda looks like [[Cyrus]], though that's definitely just a circular tattoo around one of his eyes rather than a cybernetic eye.]]
	Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.		Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.

1d4chan>An0nym0us at 17:05, 21 April 2022

2022-04-21T17:05:55Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:05, 21 April 2022
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	The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.		The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.

	Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought.		Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. On a somewhat amusing note this makes absolutely no sense as the Space Marines are deliberately engineered to be asexual. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.

	== On the Tabletop ==		== On the Tabletop ==

172.91.65.78: /* About Bjorn */

2021-10-09T09:20:38Z

About Bjorn

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:20, 9 October 2021
Line 12:		Line 12:
	Unlike most characters from the Horus Heresy books, Bjorn didn't start out as an ultimate badass, he was just a Grey Hunter in the Third Great Company, and his first notable action was [[derp\|a fuck-up]] where he shot down a remembrancer's shuttle by error. As a 'punishment', he was assigned to keep guard on the guy, and that in turn led him to [[not as planned\|ruin the day]] of a Tzeentchian Daemon trying to manipulate things on [[Prospero]]. That's where he lost his arm and first attracted the attention of his leaders.		Unlike most characters from the Horus Heresy books, Bjorn didn't start out as an ultimate badass, he was just a Grey Hunter in the Third Great Company, and his first notable action was [[derp\|a fuck-up]] where he shot down a remembrancer's shuttle by error. As a 'punishment', he was assigned to keep guard on the guy, and that in turn led him to [[not as planned\|ruin the day]] of a Tzeentchian Daemon trying to manipulate things on [[Prospero]]. That's where he lost his arm and first attracted the attention of his leaders.

	After that, he and his company had a [[rape\|run-in]] with a Khornate Daemon, and Bjorn saw all his battle-brothers get slaughtered. [[Rage\|A little angry]] at this, he swore eternal vengeance against the damn bastard and that he would gut him next time, becoming the first [[Lone Wolf]]. And so he did a couple of years later. With extreme prejudice. Beating his [[Leman Russ\|Primarch]] to the punch of [[rip and tear\|visiting vengeance so unholy]] upon the daemon he's never been seen again for 10.000 years. Even Russ was impressed, so he held Bjorn's oath fulfilled and gave him a place in his [[Wolf Guard]] on the spot.		After that, he and his company had a [[rape\|run-in]] with a Khornate Daemon, and Bjorn saw all his battle-brothers get slaughtered. [[Rage\|A little angry]] at this, he swore eternal vengeance against the damn bastard and that he would gut him next time, becoming the first [[Lone Wolf]]. And so he did a couple of years later. With extreme prejudice. Beating his [[Leman Russ\|Primarch]] to the punch of [[rip and tear\|visiting vengeance so unholy]] upon the daemon he's never been seen again for 10,000 years. Even Russ was impressed, so he held Bjorn's oath fulfilled and gave him a place in his [[Wolf Guard]] on the spot.

	Following the disappearance of Russ, Bjorn became the first Great Wolf, the Chapter Master of the Space Wolves, until he was injured and placed in a Dreadnought sarcophagus. In light of his advanced years, the majority of his time is spent dormant in stasis, but is awakened every century or so such that the Space Wolves might learn from his ancient wisdom. In practical terms, this means they pester him to tell them stories about Leman Russ. Since Bjorn's only waking hours are universally spent this way (unless there's some battle so big that Bjorn absolutely must be deployed to it like in the first War of Armageddon), he does his best to appear more and more senile every time he is awoken in the dim hope they will eventually stop asking him about the old stories.		Following the disappearance of Russ, Bjorn became the first Great Wolf, the Chapter Master of the Space Wolves, until he was injured and placed in a Dreadnought sarcophagus. In light of his advanced years, the majority of his time is spent dormant in stasis, but is awakened every century or so such that the Space Wolves might learn from his ancient wisdom. In practical terms, this means they pester him to tell them stories about Leman Russ. Since Bjorn's only waking hours are universally spent this way (unless there's some battle so big that Bjorn absolutely must be deployed to it like in the first War of Armageddon), he does his best to appear more and more senile every time he is awoken in the dim hope they will eventually stop asking him about the old stories.

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2: Quote

2021-02-13T06:31:01Z

Quote

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:31, 13 February 2021
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	[[File:The_Fell_Handed.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\| GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!]]		[[File:The_Fell_Handed.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\| GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!]]
	{{topquote\|God-Emperor? Calling him a god is why this mess started in the first place.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed's apt summary on why [[Horus Heresy\|everything went wrong]] in the [[Great Crusade]]}}		{{topquote\|God-Emperor? Calling him a god is why this mess started in the first place.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed's apt summary on why [[Horus Heresy\|everything went wrong]] in the [[Great Crusade]]}}

			{{topquote\|Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed sharing his tales of [[The God-Emperor of Mankind]]}}

	'''Bjorn the Fell Handed''' (Imperial Gothic: Bear) is a [[Dreadnought]] of the [[Space Wolves]], and the single oldest loyal Space Marine alive (or, well, at least still in active service. Because, err..., well you know). No relation to Sigmar's dad. Probably.		'''Bjorn the Fell Handed''' (Imperial Gothic: Bear) is a [[Dreadnought]] of the [[Space Wolves]], and the single oldest loyal Space Marine alive (or, well, at least still in active service. Because, err..., well you know). No relation to Sigmar's dad. Probably.

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:37, 18 October 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[File:The_Fell_Handed.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\| GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!]]		[[File:The_Fell_Handed.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\| GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!]]
	{{topquote\|God-Emperor? Calling him a god is why this mess started in the first place.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed's apt summary on why [[Horus Heresy\|everything went wrong]] in the [[Great Crusade]]}}		{{topquote\|God-Emperor? Calling him a god is why this mess [[Lorgar\|started]] in the first place.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed's apt summary on why [[Horus Heresy\|everything went wrong]] in the [[Great Crusade]]}}

	{{topquote\|Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed sharing his tales of [[The God-Emperor of Mankind]]}}		{{topquote\|Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed sharing his tales of [[The God-Emperor of Mankind]]}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:07, 4 June 2023
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	{{topquote\|Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed sharing his tales of [[The God-Emperor of Mankind]]}}		{{topquote\|Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me.\|Bjorn the Fell Handed sharing his tales of [[The God-Emperor of Mankind]]}}

	'''Bjorn the Fell Handed''' (Imperial Gothic: Bear) is a [[Dreadnought]] of the [[Space Wolves]], and the single oldest loyal Space Marine alive (or, well, at least still in active service. Because, err..., well you know). No relation to Sigmar's dad. Probably.		'''Bjorn the Fell Handed''' (Imperial Gothic: Bear) is a [[Dreadnought]] of the [[Space Wolves]], and the single oldest loyal Space Marine alive (or, well, at least still in active service. Because, err..., well you know). No relation to Sigmar's dad. Probably.

	== About Bjorn ==		== About Bjorn ==
	[[File:Bjorn of Tra.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\|Before he lost his hand and became a mobile coffin, this was Bjorn...kinda looks like [[Cyrus]], though that's definitely just a circular tattoo around one of his eyes rather than a cybernetic eye.]]		[[File:Bjorn of Tra.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\|Before he lost his hand and became a mobile coffin, this was Bjorn...kinda looks like [[Cyrus]], though that's definitely just a circular tattoo around one of his eyes rather than a cybernetic eye.]]
	Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.		Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.

	Unlike most characters from the Horus Heresy books, Bjorn didn't start out as an ultimate badass, he was just a Grey Hunter in the Third Great Company, and his first notable action was [[derp\|a fuck-up]] where he shot down a remembrancer's shuttle by error. As a 'punishment', he was assigned to keep guard on the guy, and that in turn led him to [[not as planned\|ruin the day]] of a Tzeentchian Daemon trying to manipulate things on [[Prospero]]. That's where he lost his arm, earning his epithet in the process, and first attracted the attention of his leaders.		Unlike most characters from the Horus Heresy books, Bjorn didn't start out as an ultimate badass, he was just a Grey Hunter in the Third Great Company, and his first notable action was [[derp\|a fuck-up]] where he shot down a remembrancer's shuttle by error. As a 'punishment', he was assigned to keep guard on the guy, and that in turn led him to [[not as planned\|ruin the day]] of a Tzeentchian Daemon trying to manipulate things on [[Prospero]]. That's where he lost his arm, earning his epithet in the process, and first attracted the attention of his leaders.
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	[[Warhammer Fantasy\|No relation to that Chaos Marauder chieftain from Slaves to Darkness]] (Also known as the best Chaos story ever).		[[Warhammer Fantasy\|No relation to that Chaos Marauder chieftain from Slaves to Darkness]] (Also known as the best Chaos story ever).

	The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.		The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.

	Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.		Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought. Guess Bjorn was just THAT much of a horndog.
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	The familiar hissing of servos being powered up after decades of idleness filled the echoing sarcophagus he was trying to rest in. As his senses engaged, once more allowing him to see and hear the outside world, the familiar chanting filled his near-dead ears once more.		The familiar hissing of servos being powered up after decades of idleness filled the echoing sarcophagus he was trying to rest in. As his senses engaged, once more allowing him to see and hear the outside world, the familiar chanting filled his near-dead ears once more.

	"Ah, dammit", he thought, "it's that time of the century again".		"Ah, dammit", he thought, "it's that time of the century again."

	The language of the Space Wolves' rune priests was a harsh, guttural dialect appropriate for harsh people with excesses of phlegm, and if this lot were like the last lot, that was an accurate description.		The language of the Space Wolves' rune priests was a harsh, guttural dialect appropriate for harsh people with excesses of phlegm, and if this lot were like the last lot, that was an accurate description.
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	"FIND ME AN AUDIENCE OF LOYAL WARRIORS, STRONG AND TRUE, WHO MIGHT WISH TO HEAR THE TALES."		"FIND ME AN AUDIENCE OF LOYAL WARRIORS, STRONG AND TRUE, WHO MIGHT WISH TO HEAR THE TALES."

	<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>		<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

	Gythor was excited. More than excited, he was ecstatic. He was still a Blood Claw, having not yet earned the opportunity to become a fully fledged Grey Hunter in glorious combat, but he was privileged to be one of those alive at the right time to hear the tales of Bjorn, the Fell-Handed. One of the oldest Space Marines still alive, one who saw the Allfather himself! He would hear the glorious tales spoken from the man's own lips - well, vox casters - of great legends that had been fading to the years.		Gythor was excited. More than excited, he was ecstatic. He was still a Blood Claw, having not yet earned the opportunity to become a fully fledged Grey Hunter in glorious combat, but he was privileged to be one of those alive at the right time to hear the tales of Bjorn, the Fell-Handed. One of the oldest Space Marines still alive, one who saw the Allfather himself! He would hear the glorious tales spoken from the man's own lips - well, vox casters - of great legends that had been fading to the years.
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	===Bjorn the Fell Handed: Dark Imperium, Part II===		===Bjorn the Fell Handed: Dark Imperium, Part II===
	"Yvraine huh? [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Priorities_ba536b_6833904.jpg Does she have a wraith sister?]"		"Yvraine huh? [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Priorities_ba536b_6833904.jpg Does she have a wraith sister?]"

	== External Links ==		== External Links ==