Bretonnia - Revision history

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Pachinko Man at 04:13, 31 July 2025

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2A02:8070:8E81:DD40:0:0:0:C711 at 07:56, 3 June 2023

2023-06-03T07:56:51Z

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	{{topquote\|We have political systems like this in the Empire. We call them 'protection rackets'.\|Matthias von Pfeildorf, former Imperial Envoy to Couronne.}}		{{topquote\|We have political systems like this in the Empire. We call them 'protection rackets'.\|Matthias von Pfeildorf, former Imperial Envoy to Couronne.}}
	{{topquote\|Help! Help! I'm being repressed!\|Dennis the Constitutional Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}		{{topquote\|Help! Help! I'm being repressed!\|Dennis the Constitutional Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}
	{{topquote\|I'm French! Why do you zink i 'ave zis outrageous accent?!\|also Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}		{{topquote\|I'm French! Why do you zink I 'ave zis outrageous accent?!\|also Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}

	'''Bretonnia''' is one of the main factions in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]. It is a human nation roughly modelled on a combination of medieval France, a tiny pinch of England and every medieval tale of chivalry ever (especially the legends of King Arthur). At a glance, they could easily be [[Games Workshop]]'s least creative race, in any game, ever. And yes, that includes <s>[[Judge Dredd]]</s> [[Adeptus Arbites]]. One of their special characters is called [[The Green Knight]], and their goddess is the Lady of the Lake (later revealed to also be part of the Elven pantheon). Even the name of the kingdom is derived from Britannia (Roman Empire-ruled Britain) and Brittany (part of northwestern France). It's pretty lazy, all things considered.		'''Bretonnia''' is one of the main factions in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]. It is a human nation roughly modelled on a combination of medieval France, a tiny pinch of England and every medieval tale of chivalry ever (especially the legends of King Arthur). At a glance, they could easily be [[Games Workshop]]'s least creative race, in any game, ever. And yes, that includes <s>[[Judge Dredd]]</s> [[Adeptus Arbites]]. One of their special characters is called [[The Green Knight]], and their goddess is the Lady of the Lake (later revealed to also be part of the Elven pantheon). Even the name of the kingdom is derived from Britannia (Roman Empire-ruled Britain) and Brittany (part of northwestern France). It's pretty lazy, all things considered.

2A02:8070:8E81:DD40:0:0:0:C711 at 07:56, 3 June 2023

2023-06-03T07:56:40Z

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	{{topquote\|We have political systems like this in the Empire. We call them 'protection rackets'.\|Matthias von Pfeildorf, former Imperial Envoy to Couronne.}}		{{topquote\|We have political systems like this in the Empire. We call them 'protection rackets'.\|Matthias von Pfeildorf, former Imperial Envoy to Couronne.}}
	{{topquote\|Help! Help! I'm being repressed!\|Dennis the Constitutional Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}		{{topquote\|Help! Help! I'm being repressed!\|Dennis the Constitutional Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}
			{{topquote\|I'm French! Why do you zink i 'ave zis outrageous accent?!\|also Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}

	'''Bretonnia''' is one of the main factions in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]. It is a human nation roughly modelled on a combination of medieval France, a tiny pinch of England and every medieval tale of chivalry ever (especially the legends of King Arthur). At a glance, they could easily be [[Games Workshop]]'s least creative race, in any game, ever. And yes, that includes <s>[[Judge Dredd]]</s> [[Adeptus Arbites]]. One of their special characters is called [[The Green Knight]], and their goddess is the Lady of the Lake (later revealed to also be part of the Elven pantheon). Even the name of the kingdom is derived from Britannia (Roman Empire-ruled Britain) and Brittany (part of northwestern France). It's pretty lazy, all things considered.		'''Bretonnia''' is one of the main factions in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]. It is a human nation roughly modelled on a combination of medieval France, a tiny pinch of England and every medieval tale of chivalry ever (especially the legends of King Arthur). At a glance, they could easily be [[Games Workshop]]'s least creative race, in any game, ever. And yes, that includes <s>[[Judge Dredd]]</s> [[Adeptus Arbites]]. One of their special characters is called [[The Green Knight]], and their goddess is the Lady of the Lake (later revealed to also be part of the Elven pantheon). Even the name of the kingdom is derived from Britannia (Roman Empire-ruled Britain) and Brittany (part of northwestern France). It's pretty lazy, all things considered.

2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:D145:6D8F:F393:33EC at 11:22, 7 May 2023

2023-05-07T11:22:35Z

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← Older revision		Revision as of 04:13, 31 July 2025
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	{{topquote\|Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright, that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong; that is your oath.\|Godfrey of Ibelin, ''Kingdom of Heaven''}}		{{topquote\|Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright, that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong; that is your oath.\|Godfrey of Ibelin, ''Kingdom of Heaven''}}
	{{topquote\|We have political systems like this in the Empire. We call them 'protection rackets'.\|Matthias von Pfeildorf, former Imperial Envoy to Couronne.}}		{{topquote\|We have political systems like this in the Empire. We call them 'protection rackets'.\|Matthias von Pfeildorf, former Imperial Envoy to Couronne.}}
	~~{{topquote\|Help! Help! I'm being repressed!\|Dennis the Constitutional Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}~~		{{topquote\|I'm French! Why do you zink I 'ave zis outrageous accent?!\|The French Taunter, Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}
	{{topquote\|I'm French! Why do you zink I 'ave zis outrageous accent?!\|~~also~~ Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}

	'''Bretonnia''' is one of the main factions in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]. It is a human nation roughly modelled on a combination of medieval France, a tiny pinch of England and every medieval tale of chivalry ever (especially the legends of King Arthur). At a glance, they could easily be [[Games Workshop]]'s least creative race, in any game, ever. And yes, that includes <s>[[Judge Dredd]]</s> [[Adeptus Arbites]]. One of their special characters is called [[The Green Knight]], and their goddess is the Lady of the Lake (later revealed to also be ~~part of the Elven pantheon~~). Even the name of the kingdom is derived from Britannia (Roman Empire-ruled Britain) and Brittany (part of northwestern France). It's pretty lazy, all things considered.		'''Bretonnia''' is one of the main factions in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]. It is a human nation roughly modelled on a combination of medieval France, a tiny pinch of England and every medieval tale of chivalry ever (especially the legends of King Arthur). At a glance, they could easily be [[Games Workshop]]'s least creative race, in any game, ever. And yes, that includes <s>[[Judge Dredd]]</s> [[Adeptus Arbites]]. One of their special characters is called [[The Green Knight]], and their goddess is the Lady of the Lake (later revealed to also be [[Lileath]] but that wasn't exactly news). Even the name of the kingdom is derived from Britannia (Roman Empire-ruled Britain) and Brittany (part of northwestern France). It's pretty lazy, all things considered.

	However, it is still inventive in one way: In Bretonnia, the ideals of medieval chivalry and high honour is presented side-by-side with horrible, almost hilarious black-comedy level of oppressive government. The greatest heroic knights could also at the same time be the sort of charmer who worries about soiling their poulaines while stepping over starving peasant orphans, and your armies will be made of equal parts saintly knightly warriors and wretched peasants who get sent to die in droves in the name of feudal responsibilities. It's gotten to the point where a large part of the charm of Bretonnia is in its black comedy value~~, in terms of social commentary~~.		However, it is still inventive in one way: In Bretonnia, the ideals of medieval chivalry and high honour is presented side-by-side with horrible, almost hilarious black-comedy level of oppressive government. The greatest heroic knights could also at the same time be the sort of charmer who worries about soiling their poulaines while stepping over starving peasant orphans, and your armies will be made of equal parts saintly knightly warriors and wretched peasants who get sent to die in droves in the name of feudal responsibilities. It's gotten to the point where a large part of the charm of Bretonnia is in its black comedy value.

	At least for some people anyway, and in a particular edition. Like with most Warhammer lore post-[[shitstorm\|End Times]], there's a significant fan divide between which "version" of lore is best, with the main contenders for Bretonnia being 5th edition - written by Nigel Stillman - and 6th edition - written by Anthony Reynolds. Stillman's take on Bretonnia was significantly lighter than that of Reynolds, with a more generic Arthurian kingdom but lacking in what many called [[grimderp]] lore decisions by Reynolds; on the other hand, defenders of the latter say Stillman's was lacking in realism, and Reynolds' is more interesting. Basically, 5th edition fans argue 6th's tone is too dark and that's bad, while 6th edition fans argue 5th's tone is too bright and that's bad. It's an argument that's went on for over 15 years, until [[Fail\|the entire army and country was eliminated in]] [[The End Times]], paving the way for [[Age of Sigmar]]~~, where~~ the ~~faction still hasn't come back~~ in ~~any form as~~ of ~~2023~~.		At least for some people anyway, and in a particular edition. Like with most Warhammer lore post-[[shitstorm\|End Times]], there's a significant fan divide between which "version" of lore is best, with the main contenders for Bretonnia being 5th edition - written by Nigel Stillman - and 6th edition - written by Anthony Reynolds. Stillman's take on Bretonnia was significantly lighter than that of Reynolds, with a more generic Arthurian kingdom but lacking in what many called [[grimderp]] lore decisions by Reynolds; on the other hand, defenders of the latter say Stillman's was lacking in realism, and Reynolds' is more interesting. Basically, 5th edition fans argue 6th's tone is too dark and that's bad, while 6th edition fans argue 5th's tone is too bright and that's bad. It's an argument that's went on for over 15 years, until [[Fail\|the entire army and country was eliminated in]] [[The End Times]], paving the way for [[Age of Sigmar]]. This was probably because they're second only to the also-squatted [[Tomb Kings]] in terms of how easy it is to make a convincing army with non-GW products.

	Bretonnian armies basically consist of [[knight]]s. Lots and lots of knights. And everyone, from the lowliest Knight Errant to the living-god Grail Knights, rides the same. Damn. Horse. Except for the ones that ride [[Pegasus\|Pegasi]]. There are also some lowly, filthy peasants that support the knights (by which we mean they're ''very cost-effective'' meatshields).		Bretonnian armies basically consist of [[knight]]s. Lots and lots of knights. And everyone, from the lowliest Knight Errant to the living-god Grail Knights, rides the same. Damn. Horse. Except for the ones that ride [[Pegasus\|Pegasi]]. There are also some lowly, filthy peasants that support the knights (by which we mean they're ''very cost-effective'' meatshields).

	~~The army is currently very old and very~~ out of date, ~~although still readily available, there are some rumours concerning them though~~. This is unfortunate since WFB 8th edition [[nerf]]ed cavalry pretty hard. They're still workable, but they're hurting pretty badly. Some denizens of /tg/ ~~argue~~ that Bretonnia should just be [[squat]]ted, as they don't have anything over any other army. Seriously, the Empire (ostensibly an infantry-based army) has better cavalry than these guys.		By the time GW blew up the world, Bretonnia was extremely out of date, having not received a serious update since ''6th edition''. This is unfortunate since WFB 8th edition [[nerf]]ed cavalry pretty hard. They're still workable, but they're hurting pretty badly. Some denizens of /tg/ argued that Bretonnia ''should'' just be [[squat]]ted, as they don't have anything over any other army. Seriously, the Empire (ostensibly an infantry-based army) has better cavalry than these guys.

	For what it's worth, they're still a major player in the fluff, arguably sharing the "protagonist" stage with the Empire (or at least being the co-star) in the Glottkin End Times book, though the plot material of "Thanquol" seems to have finally done in the nation as an independent entity.		For what it's worth, they're still a major player in the fluff, arguably sharing the "protagonist" stage with the Empire (or at least being the co-star) in the Glottkin End Times book, though the plot material of "Thanquol" seems to have finally done in the nation as an independent entity.

	As of March 26th, 2016, the entire Bretonnian range has been added to Games Workshop's 'Last Chance to Buy' section, so it seems like the Brets are finally gone for good. Though due to the aforementioned fading relevance as an army, lack of creativity and stand-out characters, some actually arguing for squatting, and all that even before the End Times and Age of Sigmar, few can honestly say they didn’t see this coming. Compared to [[Tomb Kings]], outrage over the loss seems to be rather lukewarm. But maybe this was because the Tomb Kings were the first to get axed, and one of GW's more creative races to boot, whereas the Bretonnians were designed by watching [[/tv/\|Excalibur]] and moulding one horse. Some may say it's also because the Tomb Kings were more popular than the Brets but that's [[Skub\|subjective]].		As of March 26th, 2016, the entire Bretonnian range has been added to Games Workshop's 'Last Chance to Buy' section, so it seems like the Brets are finally gone for good. Though due to the aforementioned fading relevance as an army, lack of creativity and stand-out characters, some actually arguing for squatting, and all that even before the End Times and Age of Sigmar, few can honestly say they didn’t see this coming. Compared to [[Tomb Kings]], outrage over the loss seems to be rather lukewarm. But maybe this was because the Tomb Kings were the first to get axed, and one of GW's more creative races to boot, whereas the Bretonnians were designed by watching [[/tv/\|Excalibur]] and Monty Python, staring at an old map of France and moulding one horse. Some may say it's also because the Tomb Kings were more popular than the Brets but that's [[Skub\|subjective]]. They did ''finally'' get an update as part of [[Warhammer: The Old World]], where they're better than ever: now sharing starter-box billing with the Empire and, even more amazingly, possessing good cavalry paired with a ruleset where cavalry are overpowered.

	==History==		==History==
	Long before the land now known as Bretonnia was founded, it was inhabited by the Lizardmen, but they were driven back by Chaos; later, the High Elves from Ulthuan created a vortex to keep the demons at bay, and settled on most of the non-mountainous regions in the Old World. Since the region of soon-to-be-Bretonnian is the only Old World region closest to Ulthuan([[Athel Loren\|that and because the Elves' favorite tree friend lives in that region as well]]), it was colonized the most, and its capital city in the Old World: '''Tor Alessi''' (soon to be '''L'Anguille''') was built there for the Elves to govern their other Old World's settlements from there. But then the <s>[[War of the Beard]]</s> War of Vengeance happened, and the land became a major battlefield between the Dwarves and High Elves. The conflict weakened the High Elves so much that '''Caradryel''', the successor Phoenix King, ordered the retreat of all High Elves back to Ulthuan. Some High Elves refused, and moved in to live with their aforementioned tree friends' forest and became the [[Wood Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)\|Wood Elves]]. With no Elves in sight, humans began to settle the land. It was first inhabited by some pagan hippies who play with rocks(aka pacifist tribe who worships '''[[Rhya]]'''). Then the Bretonnian's ancestor: The '''Bretonni''' tribe, arrived to their future homeland after fighting through the [[Worlds Edge Mountains]] against a bunch of Greenskins and other rival human tribes, and conquered the aforementioned pansy-pacifist tribe. These Bretonni were of similar martial prowess to the Unberogen (Sigmar's tribe), who fought both humans and orcs on daily basis and managed to avoid going extinct. Like every human tribe, the Bretonni were given an invitation by Sigmar to be [[the Empire\|united as a whole]], but they refused and chose to keep to themselves because they were pretty much a mockery of the real-life French stereotype and believed through sheer arrogance that their culture was inherently superior. Seriously, the Bretonni are a backward medieval stasis tribe that couldn't even evolve to use metalwork without consulting Dwarves who lived in nearby mountains.		Long before the land now known as Bretonnia was founded, it was inhabited by the Lizardmen, but they were driven back by Chaos; later, the High Elves from Ulthuan created a vortex to keep the demons at bay, and settled on most of the non-mountainous regions in the Old World. Since the region of soon-to-be-Bretonnian is the only Old World region closest to Ulthuan([[Athel Loren\|that and because the Elves' favorite tree friend lives in that region as well]]), it was colonized the most, and its capital city in the Old World: '''Tor Alessi''' (soon to be '''L'Anguille''') was built there for the Elves to govern their other Old World's settlements from there. But then the <s>[[War of the Beard]]</s> War of Vengeance happened, and the land became a major battlefield between the Dwarves and High Elves. The conflict weakened the High Elves so much that '''Caradryel''', the successor Phoenix King, ordered the retreat of all High Elves back to Ulthuan. Some High Elves refused, and moved in to live with their aforementioned tree friends' forest and became the [[Wood Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)\|Wood Elves]]. With no Elves in sight, humans began to settle the land. It was first inhabited by some pagan hippies who play with rocks(aka pacifist tribe who worships '''[[Rhya]]'''). Then the Bretonnian's ancestor: The '''Bretonni''' tribe, arrived to their future homeland after fighting through the [[Worlds Edge Mountains]] against a bunch of Greenskins and other rival human tribes, and conquered the aforementioned pansy-pacifist tribe. These Bretonni were of similar martial prowess to the Unberogen (Sigmar's tribe), who fought both humans and orcs on daily basis and managed to avoid going extinct. Like every human tribe, the Bretonni were given an invitation by Sigmar to be [[the Empire\|united as a whole]], but they refused and chose to keep to themselves because they were pretty much a mockery of the real-life French stereotype and believed through sheer arrogance that their culture was inherently superior. Seriously, the Bretonni are a backward medieval stasis tribe that couldn't even evolve to use metalwork without consulting Dwarves who lived in nearby mountains.

	The Bretonni were later raided by a clusterfuck of nearby Orc ~~WAAARGH~~, in addition to Tomb kings led by [[Settra the Imperishable\|Settra]](who was after the lost shiny bling stolen from his kingdom). Unable to properly unite to face the threats, the ~~Bretonnis~~ were facing annihilation (much thanks to the sheer arrogance towards Sigmar that led to their doom). But an awesome guy named '''Giles Le Breton''' rallied every Bretonni warrior he could find, including his best friends Duke '''Thierulf d'Lyonesse''' and Duke '''Landuin d'Mousillon''', to fight the Orc menace. Still, they failed due to the horde's size and were forced to retreat to a nearby forest. Wandering wearily in the forest, Giles stopped to drink from a lake and found himself watched over by a strange woman of ethereal form: the Lady of the Lake. Le Breton, facing desperation and madness, asked this Lady to bless him with strength and he was fully restored. Duke Thierulf d'Lyonesse and Duke Landuin d'Mousillon did the same thing, and the three of them became <s>Lileath's ~~puppet~~</s> the first three Grail Knights.		The Bretonni were later raided by a clusterfuck of nearby Orc WAAAGH, in addition to Tomb kings led by [[Settra the Imperishable\|Settra]] (who was after the lost shiny bling stolen from his kingdom). Unable to properly unite to face the threats, the Bretonni were facing annihilation (much thanks to the sheer arrogance towards Sigmar that led to their doom). But an awesome guy named '''Giles Le Breton''' rallied every Bretonni warrior he could find, including his best friends Duke '''Thierulf d'Lyonesse''' and Duke '''Landuin d'Mousillon''', to fight the Orc menace. Still, they failed due to the horde's size and were forced to retreat to a nearby forest. Wandering wearily in the forest, Giles stopped to drink from a lake and found himself watched over by a strange woman of ethereal form: the Lady of the Lake. Le Breton, facing desperation and madness, asked this Lady to bless him with strength and he was fully restored. Duke Thierulf d'Lyonesse and Duke Landuin d'Mousillon did the same thing, and the three of them became <s>Lileath's puppets</s> the first three Grail Knights.

	With the power to finally pull some awesome ass-kicking, Giles and his tribe kicked the shit out of the [[Orcs]], returned to their settlement, united the Bretonni tribesmen under one banner, and founded "Bretonnia," with their benefactor the Lady of the Lake as the centre of their newly created society.		With the power to finally pull some awesome ass-kicking, Giles and his tribe kicked the shit out of the [[Orcs]], returned to their settlement, united the Bretonni tribesmen under one banner, and founded "Bretonnia," with their benefactor the Lady of the Lake as the centre of their newly created society.
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	==Peasants==		==Peasants==
	{{Topquote\|Thou shalt give unto thine glorious liege the taxes that he requires. Thou shalt labour all but feast days, and no more than a tenth-share shall you keep for kith and kin. Rejoice! For a knight of ~~Bretonia~~ provides your shield...\|The Peasant's Duty}}		{{Topquote\|Thou shalt give unto thine glorious liege the taxes that he requires. Thou shalt labour all but feast days, and no more than a tenth-share shall you keep for kith and kin. Rejoice! For a knight of Bretonnia provides your shield...\|The Peasant's Duty}}
			{{topquote\|Help! Help! I'm being repressed!\|Dennis the Constitutional Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}

	It's not easy being a [[peasant]] in Bretonnia. Peasants can only ever keep one-tenth of what they earn, which means that either peasants earn a lot or they are all, in fact, undead, which would explain their lack of skill at arms; otherwise they wouldn't have enough to sustain themselves. The other 90% goes to the Knights and Nobles, and any leftovers they have go back to the peasants. The splatbook for playing the first edition of the WHFB RPG in Bretonnia would go on to clarify this a little: as a peasant, your lord does indeed take 90% of your harvest, but then redistributes part of it back to you so you can survive (sort of). It's also said that some lords classify the harvest as 'weeding' meaning the peasants get to keep the 'weeds'. He's probably still going to give you just enough to survive and don't think just because you grew something really nice he's not just going to give you a bag of low-quality grain and some knight spit to cook it in. So basically feudalism with a nice big flavouring of Stalin-era socialism. The reason for this "Giving nine-tenths of everything you grow to your lord" lore error actually comes from a myth of the real-life Medieval peasantry (the reality was closer to one-tenth, and even that still left people mostly starving), which has been perpetuated by [[Games Workshop\|people who don't fucking check their sources, or bother to apply logic or reason to anything they read.]]		It's not easy being a [[peasant]] in Bretonnia. Peasants can only ever keep one-tenth of what they earn, which means that either peasants earn a lot or they are all, in fact, undead, which would explain their lack of skill at arms; otherwise they wouldn't have enough to sustain themselves. The other 90% goes to the Knights and Nobles, and any leftovers they have go back to the peasants. The splatbook for playing the first edition of the WHFB RPG in Bretonnia would go on to clarify this a little: as a peasant, your lord does indeed take 90% of your harvest, but then redistributes part of it back to you so you can survive (sort of). It's also said that some lords classify the harvest as 'weeding' meaning the peasants get to keep the 'weeds'. He's probably still going to give you just enough to survive and don't think just because you grew something really nice he's not just going to give you a bag of low-quality grain and some knight spit to cook it in. So basically feudalism with a nice big flavouring of Stalin-era socialism. The reason for this "Giving nine-tenths of everything you grow to your lord" lore error actually comes from a myth of the real-life Medieval peasantry (the reality was closer to one-tenth, and even that still left people mostly starving), which has been perpetuated by [[Games Workshop\|people who don't fucking check their sources, or bother to apply logic or reason to anything they read.]]