Cegorach - Revision history

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2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:29E7:5AFC:EED2:89A6 at 22:47, 10 June 2023

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← Older revision		Revision as of 22:47, 10 June 2023
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	[[File:500px-The_Laughing_God.png\|400px\|right\|thumb\|Just look at that grin. How can you possibly hate this guy?]]		[[File:500px-The_Laughing_God.png\|400px\|right\|thumb\|Just look at that grin. How can you possibly hate this guy?]]
	<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:italic;font-style:italic;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"><span style='color:turquoise;font-size:100%'> HELLO, CHILD. DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? - The quote that Cegorach always says'''</span></div>		<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:italic;font-style:italic;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"><span style='color:turquoise;font-size:100%'> HELLO, CHILD. DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? - The quote that Cegorach always says'''</span></div>

	{{topquote\|The only cure for vanity is laughter, and the only fault that is laughable is vanity.\|Henri Bergson}}		{{topquote\|The only cure for vanity is laughter, and the only fault that is laughable is vanity.\|Henri Bergson}}
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	Cegorach has yet to appear in any of the video games or anything like that, but if he did (and he totally should), he'd be voiced by Mark Hamill and mo-capped by Michael Jackson's corpse (marionette-style). He probably wears several harlequin masks, with troll faces, awesome faces, the tragedy mask, and the comedy mask permanently etched on them, and he also probably wears a harlequin (as in the ye olde clowns, not the Eldar) hat and outfit. He is also funny as hell. No one can stay mad at him because he's so damned hilarious, and he actually cares for his [[Solitaire\|followers]] enough to personally fight for their souls. What a guy.		Cegorach has yet to appear in any of the video games or anything like that, but if he did (and he totally should), he'd be voiced by Mark Hamill and mo-capped by Michael Jackson's corpse (marionette-style). He probably wears several harlequin masks, with troll faces, awesome faces, the tragedy mask, and the comedy mask permanently etched on them, and he also probably wears a harlequin (as in the ye olde clowns, not the Eldar) hat and outfit. He is also funny as hell. No one can stay mad at him because he's so damned hilarious, and he actually cares for his [[Solitaire\|followers]] enough to personally fight for their souls. What a guy.

	== History ==		==History==
	[[image:Cegorach_the_Laughing_God.jpg\|350px\|thumb\|If you can't tell, he's the one being a dick.]]		[[image:Cegorach_the_Laughing_God.jpg\|350px\|thumb\|If you can't tell, he's the one being a dick.]]

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	Overall one of the most successful gods in 40k. He also founded the [[Black Library]].		Overall one of the most successful gods in 40k. He also founded the [[Black Library]].

	== The Harlequins ==		==The Harlequins==
	Cegorach is the patron of the [[Harlequin]]s and keeper of the Black Library which [[Ahzek Ahriman]] really wants to get into. Sometimes an [[Eldar]] with [[Weeaboo\|no soul]] is made during the Ritual (which is, obviously, an entering trial - surviving being possessed with a Greater Daemon of [[Slaanesh]] and having the ability to expel it automatically confirms that you are an incredible badass), which the Harlequins refer to as a Solitaire. These Eldar have great power but are doomed to be eaten by Slaanesh once they die. While they live, they can assrape any army you throw at them. Seriously. But [[Slaanesh]] never gets to nom one because each time he/she/it/hermaphrodite tries, Cegorach punches him/her/it/hermaphrodite in the <s>face</s> <s>balls</s> ALL of his/her/its balls repeatedly and gives him/her/it/hermaphrodite a devastating insult that causes [[Slaanesh]] to run back to his/her/its/hermaphrodite's palace in tears. <s>Happy end.</s> <s>Not quite,[[Slaanesh]] sometimes wins and sadly ends up raping the Solitaire for all eternity.</s> Only to find out it's actually a blow-up doll filled with explosive confetti, Khorne berzerkers and cold showers. [[Just as Planned]].		Cegorach is the patron of the [[Harlequin]]s and keeper of the Black Library which [[Ahzek Ahriman]] really wants to get into. Sometimes an [[Eldar]] with [[Weeaboo\|no soul]] is made during the Ritual (which is, obviously, an entering trial - surviving being possessed with a Greater Daemon of [[Slaanesh]] and having the ability to expel it automatically confirms that you are an incredible badass), which the Harlequins refer to as a Solitaire. These Eldar have great power but are doomed to be eaten by Slaanesh once they die. While they live, they can assrape any army you throw at them. Seriously. But [[Slaanesh]] never gets to nom one because each time he/she/it/hermaphrodite tries, Cegorach punches him/her/it/hermaphrodite in the <s>face</s> <s>balls</s> ALL of his/her/its balls repeatedly and gives him/her/it/hermaphrodite a devastating insult that causes [[Slaanesh]] to run back to his/her/its/hermaphrodite's palace in tears. <s>Happy end.</s> <s>Not quite,[[Slaanesh]] sometimes wins and sadly ends up raping the Solitaire for all eternity.</s> Only to find out it's actually a blow-up doll filled with explosive confetti, Khorne berzerkers and cold showers. [[Just as Planned]].

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	In the 5th edition Dark Eldar codex, the character "Lady Malys", former lover of Vect, once wandered around the Webway and found a dude made of golden light. He killed all her escorts and [[The_Hobbit\|challenged her to a riddle-off, where the winner gets the loser's heart]]. She managed to succeed and the gold dude chuckled and gave her his crystal heart. She then decided to TEAR OUT HER OWN HEART AND JAM A PIECE OF CRYSTAL IN THE HOLE. Somehow this worked, and she got like special powers and whatnot from it. Sometimes, in private, her stern demeanor cracks and she falls into maniacal laughter. Laughter with ''two voices''. The golden entity is unknown but who are we kidding it's obviously Cegorach. <s>Or the Deceiver</s> It's definitely ''not'' the Deceiver, because the [[C'Tan]] are too buttmad to use the webway. [[Matt Ward\|Unless you believe this guy]]. Again, the two seem to like to switch places constantly. <b>Confirmed in the new 7E Harlies codex that it's Cegorach.</b>		In the 5th edition Dark Eldar codex, the character "Lady Malys", former lover of Vect, once wandered around the Webway and found a dude made of golden light. He killed all her escorts and [[The_Hobbit\|challenged her to a riddle-off, where the winner gets the loser's heart]]. She managed to succeed and the gold dude chuckled and gave her his crystal heart. She then decided to TEAR OUT HER OWN HEART AND JAM A PIECE OF CRYSTAL IN THE HOLE. Somehow this worked, and she got like special powers and whatnot from it. Sometimes, in private, her stern demeanor cracks and she falls into maniacal laughter. Laughter with ''two voices''. The golden entity is unknown but who are we kidding it's obviously Cegorach. <s>Or the Deceiver</s> It's definitely ''not'' the Deceiver, because the [[C'Tan]] are too buttmad to use the webway. [[Matt Ward\|Unless you believe this guy]]. Again, the two seem to like to switch places constantly. <b>Confirmed in the new 7E Harlies codex that it's Cegorach.</b>

	== Fun(ny) facts ==		==Fun(ny) facts==
	[[File:Cegorach statue.jpg\|350px\|right\|]]		[[File:Cegorach statue.jpg\|350px\|right\|]]
	* Cegorach is the funniest entity in the universe, bar none, and he's tied with [[Tzeentch]], the [[Emperor]], the [[The Deceiver\|Deceiver]], [[Eldrad]], [[Asdrubael Vect]] and [[Creed\|CREEEEEEEEEEEEED!]] in just as planned and wanton dickishness.		* Cegorach is the funniest entity in the universe, bar none, and he's tied with [[Tzeentch]], the [[Emperor]], the [[The Deceiver\|Deceiver]], [[Eldrad]], [[Asdrubael Vect]] and [[Creed\|CREEEEEEEEEEEEED!]] in just as planned and wanton dickishness.
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	**Yes, the Circus can fly.		**Yes, the Circus can fly.
	* Cegorach is responsible for Indrick Boreale's accent and Firaevious Carron's hatred of MEHTAHL BAWKSES! Thank you, you clown-faced son-of-a-bitch; we owe you all the Youtube poop and FAIL.		* Cegorach is responsible for Indrick Boreale's accent and Firaevious Carron's hatred of MEHTAHL BAWKSES! Thank you, you clown-faced son-of-a-bitch; we owe you all the Youtube poop and FAIL.
	*Cegorach is sometimes known as [[Space Station 13\|"The Honkmother"]]		*Cegorach is sometimes known as [[Space Station 13\|"The Honkmother"]].
	* One day, Cegorach slipped a gigantic whoopee cushion onto Khorne's skull throne, when Khorne sat down, the cushion could be heard throughout the warp, the webway, and the materium, and everyone laughed their fucking asses off. At first Khorne got pissed, but as he thought of ways to get revenge, he found the incident increasingly funny and gave Cegorach a handshake, but Cegorach was using a fake arm with a joybuzzer.		* One day, Cegorach slipped a gigantic whoopee cushion onto Khorne's skull throne, when Khorne sat down, the cushion could be heard throughout the warp, the webway, and the materium, and everyone laughed their fucking asses off. At first Khorne got pissed, but as he thought of ways to get revenge, he found the incident increasingly funny and gave Cegorach a handshake, but Cegorach was using a fake arm with a joybuzzer.
	** This inspired the Changeling to do it himself, only instead of using a whoopee cushion he used Nurglings which made Khorne much angrier. Ceg still laughs about that since he started it.		** This inspired the Changeling to do it himself, only instead of using a whoopee cushion he used Nurglings which made Khorne much angrier. Ceg still laughs about that since he started it.
	* Cegorach managed to outwit Tzeentch once and it was a rare event Tzeentch remembers fondly of since afterwards it he becomes more Witter and puts the clown god in his place. Though they were matched in dickishness and [[Just as planned\|just as planned]] Cegorach had the sharper wit. So in a contest to see who could make up and then pull off the most contrived plan, they technically tied; but Cegorach's plan involved a ludicrously complicated series of Rube Goldberg-ian interlocked events that ended with a bolter shell fired by Kharn hitting a bucket filled with pepper that released its spicy cargo all over Khorne, causing him to sneeze which created just a strong enough wind to blow a second bucket which was filled with Nurgle's slime, this bucket fell on Tzeentch's head. Since both plans were tied in dickishness and ludicrous complexity, the Judges used humor to decide whose was superior, and they obviously chose Cegorach, afterwards Tzeentch sets up a retort in the form of sending a metaphysical congratulatory cake for the good prank, and then out of it comes Khorne, Slaanesh, and Nurgle beating him senseless while Tzeentch watches with glee.		* Cegorach managed to outwit Tzeentch once and it was a rare event Tzeentch remembers fondly of since afterwards it he becomes more Witter and puts the clown god in his place. Though they were matched in dickishness and [[Just as planned\|just as planned]] Cegorach had the sharper wit. So in a contest to see who could make up and then pull off the most contrived plan, they technically tied; but Cegorach's plan involved a ludicrously complicated series of Rube Goldberg-ian interlocked events that ended with a bolter shell fired by Kharn hitting a bucket filled with pepper that released its spicy cargo all over Khorne, causing him to sneeze which created just a strong enough wind to blow a second bucket which was filled with Nurgle's slime, this bucket fell on Tzeentch's head. Since both plans were tied in dickishness and ludicrous complexity, the Judges used humor to decide whose was superior, and they obviously chose Cegorach, afterwards Tzeentch sets up a retort in the form of sending a metaphysical congratulatory cake for the good prank, and then out of it comes Khorne, Slaanesh, and Nurgle beating him senseless while Tzeentch watches with glee.
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	* On a more serious note, Cegorach is single handedly responsible for Jaghatai Khan not falling to Chaos during the Heresy. You seen he spotted the infant Primarchs zipping through the Warp one day and decided to switch the landing sites for the Khan and Fulgrim. Why he did this is anybody's guess, but it is interesting to not that Fulgrim ended up being the champion of Slaanesh. Seeing as how much Cegorach hates the bitch/bastard, he may simply have wanted to keep the Khan out of Slaanesh's hands, considering that the Khan was pretty sure he could btfo Fulgrim in a duel.		* On a more serious note, Cegorach is single handedly responsible for Jaghatai Khan not falling to Chaos during the Heresy. You seen he spotted the infant Primarchs zipping through the Warp one day and decided to switch the landing sites for the Khan and Fulgrim. Why he did this is anybody's guess, but it is interesting to not that Fulgrim ended up being the champion of Slaanesh. Seeing as how much Cegorach hates the bitch/bastard, he may simply have wanted to keep the Khan out of Slaanesh's hands, considering that the Khan was pretty sure he could btfo Fulgrim in a duel.

	== Warhammer Fantasy ==		==Warhammer Fantasy==
	Cegorach has no [[Warhammer Fantasy]] equivalent directly, making him the only Eldar god without one. His portfolio is instead held by [[Loec]] who is functionally the same. The Harlequins of Fantasy are more or less the entire [[Wood Elves (Warhammer)\|Wood Elf]] race (Legolas meets Hills Have Eyes is perhaps the best description of them).		Cegorach has no [[Warhammer Fantasy]] equivalent directly, making him the only Eldar god without one. His portfolio is instead held by [[Loec]] who is functionally the same. The Harlequins of Fantasy are more or less the entire [[Wood Elves (Warhammer)\|Wood Elf]] race (Legolas meets Hills Have Eyes is perhaps the best description of them).

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	\|}		\|}

	== Appearances in mods and fan-made material ==		==Appearances in mods and fan-made material==
	[[File:CaptainClown.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Cegorach looking like one murderous motherfucker. Seriously, the modellers really pulled out all the stops on this one.]]		[[File:CaptainClown.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Cegorach looking like one murderous motherfucker. Seriously, the modellers really pulled out all the stops on this one.]]
	Cegorach appears in the Ultimate Apocalypse mod for [[Dawn Of War\|Dawn of War]] as an alternative hero/relic unit to the Avatar of Khaine. Clocking in at 2000 requisition as opposed to the Avatar's 3000 requisition, the Laughing God is less a tanky DPS machine, and is instead a faster support unit designed for hit-and-run attacks as part of a larger force. Nevertheless, Cegorach can still hold his own against all but the most powerful enemy units, but his lower DPS and fewer AoE attacks mean he is more vulnerable to swarms of enemy targets, and will fall without backup. He is also one of the fastest if not the fastest unit in the game, with his movement speed boost ability only rivalled by [[Deathmark\|Deathmarks]]' Hunters from Hyper Space. In addition, he boosts the movement speed of nearby infantry, as well as increasing the relic resource rate and cap, allowing for more elite units in your army. Unfortunately, Cegorach and the Avatar of Khaine cannot be deployed simultaneously, and unless your strategy is built around hit-and-run attacks, the Avatar is almost always the better choice. His higher cost is well deserved given his excellent AoE special abilities and downright devastating close combat attacks, not to mention the morale immunity he gives nearby infantry and the fact his mere presence on the battlefield decreases all unit production times. His only real downside is his speed, which almost never matters anyway given how goddamn resilient he is. Still, the model looks absolutely [[awesome]], and is perfect for playing out your [[Rape\|Harlequin fantasies]] or if you need a pretty powerful unit on a budget.		Cegorach appears in the Ultimate Apocalypse mod for [[Dawn Of War\|Dawn of War]] as an alternative hero/relic unit to the Avatar of Khaine. Clocking in at 2000 requisition as opposed to the Avatar's 3000 requisition, the Laughing God is less a tanky DPS machine, and is instead a faster support unit designed for hit-and-run attacks as part of a larger force. Nevertheless, Cegorach can still hold his own against all but the most powerful enemy units, but his lower DPS and fewer AoE attacks mean he is more vulnerable to swarms of enemy targets, and will fall without backup. He is also one of the fastest if not the fastest unit in the game, with his movement speed boost ability only rivalled by [[Deathmark\|Deathmarks]]' Hunters from Hyper Space. In addition, he boosts the movement speed of nearby infantry, as well as increasing the relic resource rate and cap, allowing for more elite units in your army. Unfortunately, Cegorach and the Avatar of Khaine cannot be deployed simultaneously, and unless your strategy is built around hit-and-run attacks, the Avatar is almost always the better choice. His higher cost is well deserved given his excellent AoE special abilities and downright devastating close combat attacks, not to mention the morale immunity he gives nearby infantry and the fact his mere presence on the battlefield decreases all unit production times. His only real downside is his speed, which almost never matters anyway given how goddamn resilient he is. Still, the model looks absolutely [[awesome]], and is perfect for playing out your [[Rape\|Harlequin fantasies]] or if you need a pretty powerful unit on a budget.

	== Cegorach's Theme ==		==Cegorach's Theme==

	*https://youtu.be/IzWsLaolyLw - Now the creepy bastard has his own theme song. Fittingly enough, it's an ominous remix of the ''Seinfeld'' theme.		*https://youtu.be/IzWsLaolyLw - Now the creepy bastard has his own theme song. Fittingly enough, it's an ominous remix of the ''Seinfeld'' theme.

	[[Category: Harlequins]]		[[Category:Harlequins]]

	{{Template:Eldar-Gods}}		{{Template:Eldar-Gods}}

2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:D145:6D8F:F393:33EC at 11:34, 7 May 2023

2023-05-07T11:34:02Z

Show changes

162.81.17.203: /* Lady Malys and the Entity */

2023-02-04T23:58:48Z

Lady Malys and the Entity

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:58, 4 February 2023
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	==Lady Malys and the Entity==		==Lady Malys and the Entity==
	In the 5th edition Dark Eldar codex, the character "Lady Malys", former lover of Vect, once wandered around the Webway and found a dude made of golden light. He killed all her escorts and [[The_Hobbit\|challenged her to a riddle-off, where the winner gets the loser's heart]]. She managed to succeed and the gold dude chuckled and gave her his crystal heart. She then decided to TEAR OUT HER OWN HEART AND JAM A PIECE OF CRYSTAL IN THE HOLE. Somehow this worked, and she got like special powers and whatnot from it. Sometimes, in private, her stern demeanor cracks and she falls into maniacal laughter. The golden entity is unknown but who are we kidding it's obviously Cegorach. <s>Or the Deceiver</s> It's definitely ''not'' the Deceiver, because the [[C'Tan]] are too buttmad to use the webway. [[Matt Ward\|Unless you believe this guy]]. Again, the two seem to like to switch places constantly. <b>Confirmed in the new 7E Harlies codex that it's Cegorach.</b>		In the 5th edition Dark Eldar codex, the character "Lady Malys", former lover of Vect, once wandered around the Webway and found a dude made of golden light. He killed all her escorts and [[The_Hobbit\|challenged her to a riddle-off, where the winner gets the loser's heart]]. She managed to succeed and the gold dude chuckled and gave her his crystal heart. She then decided to TEAR OUT HER OWN HEART AND JAM A PIECE OF CRYSTAL IN THE HOLE. Somehow this worked, and she got like special powers and whatnot from it. Sometimes, in private, her stern demeanor cracks and she falls into maniacal laughter. Laughter with ''two voices''. The golden entity is unknown but who are we kidding it's obviously Cegorach. <s>Or the Deceiver</s> It's definitely ''not'' the Deceiver, because the [[C'Tan]] are too buttmad to use the webway. [[Matt Ward\|Unless you believe this guy]]. Again, the two seem to like to switch places constantly. <b>Confirmed in the new 7E Harlies codex that it's Cegorach.</b>

	== Fun(ny) facts ==		== Fun(ny) facts ==

120.28.91.209: /* Fun(ny) facts */

2023-01-06T18:01:11Z

Fun(ny) facts

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:01, 6 January 2023
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	*Cegorach is sometimes known as [[Space Station 13\|"The Honkmother"]]		*Cegorach is sometimes known as [[Space Station 13\|"The Honkmother"]]
	* One day, Cegorach slipped a gigantic whoopee cushion onto Khorne's skull throne, when Khorne sat down, the cushion could be heard throughout the warp, the webway, and the materium, and everyone laughed their fucking asses off. At first Khorne got pissed, but as he thought of ways to get revenge, he found the incident increasingly funny and gave Cegorach a handshake, but Cegorach was using a fake arm with a joybuzzer.		* One day, Cegorach slipped a gigantic whoopee cushion onto Khorne's skull throne, when Khorne sat down, the cushion could be heard throughout the warp, the webway, and the materium, and everyone laughed their fucking asses off. At first Khorne got pissed, but as he thought of ways to get revenge, he found the incident increasingly funny and gave Cegorach a handshake, but Cegorach was using a fake arm with a joybuzzer.
			** This inspired the Changeling to do it himself, only instead of using a whoopee cushion he used Nurglings which made Khorne much angrier. Ceg still laughs about that since he started it.
	* Cegorach managed to outwit Tzeentch once and it was a rare event Tzeentch remembers fondly of since afterwards it he becomes more Witter and puts the clown god in his place. Though they were matched in dickishness and [[Just as planned\|just as planned]] Cegorach had the sharper wit. So in a contest to see who could make up and then pull off the most contrived plan, they technically tied; but Cegorach's plan involved a ludicrously complicated series of Rube Goldberg-ian interlocked events that ended with a bolter shell fired by Kharn hitting a bucket filled with pepper that released its spicy cargo all over Khorne, causing him to sneeze which created just a strong enough wind to blow a second bucket which was filled with Nurgle's slime, this bucket fell on Tzeentch's head. Since both plans were tied in dickishness and ludicrous complexity, the Judges used humor to decide whose was superior, and they obviously chose Cegorach, afterwards Tzeentch sets up a retort in the form of sending a metaphysical congratulatory cake for the good prank, and then out of it comes Khorne, Slaanesh, and Nurgle beating him senseless while Tzeentch watches with glee.		* Cegorach managed to outwit Tzeentch once and it was a rare event Tzeentch remembers fondly of since afterwards it he becomes more Witter and puts the clown god in his place. Though they were matched in dickishness and [[Just as planned\|just as planned]] Cegorach had the sharper wit. So in a contest to see who could make up and then pull off the most contrived plan, they technically tied; but Cegorach's plan involved a ludicrously complicated series of Rube Goldberg-ian interlocked events that ended with a bolter shell fired by Kharn hitting a bucket filled with pepper that released its spicy cargo all over Khorne, causing him to sneeze which created just a strong enough wind to blow a second bucket which was filled with Nurgle's slime, this bucket fell on Tzeentch's head. Since both plans were tied in dickishness and ludicrous complexity, the Judges used humor to decide whose was superior, and they obviously chose Cegorach, afterwards Tzeentch sets up a retort in the form of sending a metaphysical congratulatory cake for the good prank, and then out of it comes Khorne, Slaanesh, and Nurgle beating him senseless while Tzeentch watches with glee.
	* Cegorach once pranked Slaanesh when he sent him/her/it/hermaphrodite what seemed to be playboy magazines, but when Slaanesh read them; they turned out to be filled with Khornate imagery, which jumped out of the book and beat the crap out of Slaanesh. In addition, the second page of the book contained the Nightbringer, who leapt out of the pages and cut Slaanesh's dick off and essentially carved a whole vagina into him, turning the one she-male Slaanesh completely into a she...well three quarters of the way since Slaanesh still only has one bewb. It took him 3,000 years to regrow it. ''And she liked all of it''.		* Cegorach once pranked Slaanesh when he sent him/her/it/hermaphrodite what seemed to be playboy magazines, but when Slaanesh read them; they turned out to be filled with Khornate imagery, which jumped out of the book and beat the crap out of Slaanesh. In addition, the second page of the book contained the Nightbringer, who leapt out of the pages and cut Slaanesh's dick off and essentially carved a whole vagina into him, turning the one she-male Slaanesh completely into a she...well three quarters of the way since Slaanesh still only has one bewb. It took him 3,000 years to regrow it. ''And she liked all of it''.

202.160.36.16: /* History */

2022-11-16T16:44:39Z

History

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:44, 16 November 2022
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	Today, Cegorach's primary concern is dealing with [[Slaanesh\|She Who Thirsts]]. Being a trickster god though, his followers do things from time to time just for the lulz, such as the time some harlequins defaced a Land Raider seemingly just for the hell of it. As expected, Cegorach is also opposed to the Necrons (because they have no sense of humour, even before they became souless robots). He was there for the original Necron-Eldar war, and the Harlequin Masque of the Dreaming Shadow primarily focuses on fighting Necrons, but many other Harlequins view that as a cheap side show compared to Slaanesh. (Well not really, necron weaponry can still melt your face) Cegorach was likely heavily involved in the birth of [[Ynnead]], given how they're both focused on defeating Slaanesh, and how his Harlequins currently serve under the Ynncarne. Where Ynnead fits into his plans are uncertain, given how rarely they are straightforward, but one can be certain that things are going [[just as planned]].		Today, Cegorach's primary concern is dealing with [[Slaanesh\|She Who Thirsts]]. Being a trickster god though, his followers do things from time to time just for the lulz, such as the time some harlequins defaced a Land Raider seemingly just for the hell of it. As expected, Cegorach is also opposed to the Necrons (because they have no sense of humour, even before they became souless robots). He was there for the original Necron-Eldar war, and the Harlequin Masque of the Dreaming Shadow primarily focuses on fighting Necrons, but many other Harlequins view that as a cheap side show compared to Slaanesh. (Well not really, necron weaponry can still melt your face) Cegorach was likely heavily involved in the birth of [[Ynnead]], given how they're both focused on defeating Slaanesh, and how his Harlequins currently serve under the Ynncarne. Where Ynnead fits into his plans are uncertain, given how rarely they are straightforward, but one can be certain that things are going [[just as planned]].

	Overall one of the most successful gods in 40k		Overall one of the most successful gods in 40k. He also founded the [[Black Library]].

	== The Harlequins ==		== The Harlequins ==

1d4chan>JimmyCarterWarGaming at 03:53, 31 October 2022

2022-10-31T03:53:03Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:53, 31 October 2022
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	'''Cegorach''', [[TTS\|“Honk God”]], or [[TTS\|“a fucking CLOWN”]] is the [[Eldar]] Laughing God, a master of [[Just as planned]], Papyrus from Undertale, and a massive dick. His dickery is only rivaled by [[The Deceiver]] and [[Tzeentch]]. He's the patron god of the [[Harlequin\|MURDERCLOWNS]] and probably [[Eldrad]], who looked up to Cegorach's dickishness and general jackassery as a shining example for all Eldar [[Farseer\|Farseers]]. He plays games of [[Just as planned]] (Specifically [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device\|Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hybercube-Chess-Strip Poker]]) with [[Tzeentch]], the [[The Deceiver\|Deceiver]] and [[the Emperor]] every Saturday night, and spectators can never quite figure out who won afterwards. He's also one of the only three (four, if you count [[Ynnead\|this guy]]) surviving Eldar gods, the other being [[Isha]] (who's with [[Nurgle]]) and [[Khaine]] (who's currently in a bajillion pieces, so in spirit, he's not "alive" anymore).		'''Cegorach''', [[TTS\|“Honk God”]], or [[TTS\|“a fucking CLOWN”]] is the [[Eldar]] Laughing God, a master of [[Just as planned]], Papyrus from Undertale, and a massive dick. His dickery is only rivaled by [[The Deceiver]] and [[Tzeentch]]. He's the patron god of the [[Harlequin\|MURDERCLOWNS]] and probably [[Eldrad]], who looked up to Cegorach's dickishness and general jackassery as a shining example for all Eldar [[Farseer\|Farseers]]. He plays games of [[Just as planned]] (Specifically [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device\|Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hybercube-Chess-Strip Poker]]) with [[Tzeentch]], the [[The Deceiver\|Deceiver]] and [[the Emperor]] every Saturday night, and spectators can never quite figure out who won afterwards. He's also one of the only three (four, if you count [[Ynnead\|this guy]]) surviving Eldar gods, the other being [[Isha]] (who's with [[Nurgle]]) and [[Khaine]] (who's currently in a bajillion pieces, so in spirit, he's not "alive" anymore).

	Cegorach has yet to appear in any of the video games or anything like that, but if he did (and he totally should), he'd be voiced by Mark Hamill and mo-capped by Michael Jackson. He probably wears several harlequin masks, with troll faces, awesome faces, the tragedy mask, and the comedy mask permanently etched on them, and he also probably wears a harlequin (as in the ye olde clowns, not the Eldar) hat and outfit. He is also funny as hell. No one can stay mad at him because he's so damned hilarious, and he actually cares for his [[Solitaire\|followers]] enough to personally fight for their souls. What a guy.		Cegorach has yet to appear in any of the video games or anything like that, but if he did (and he totally should), he'd be voiced by Mark Hamill and mo-capped by Michael Jackson's corpse (marionette-style). He probably wears several harlequin masks, with troll faces, awesome faces, the tragedy mask, and the comedy mask permanently etched on them, and he also probably wears a harlequin (as in the ye olde clowns, not the Eldar) hat and outfit. He is also funny as hell. No one can stay mad at him because he's so damned hilarious, and he actually cares for his [[Solitaire\|followers]] enough to personally fight for their souls. What a guy.

	== History ==		== History ==

1d4chan>Derpysaurus: /* Fun(ny) facts */

2022-10-27T16:20:52Z

Fun(ny) facts

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	== Fun(ny) facts ==		== Fun(ny) facts ==
	[[File:Cegorach statue.jpg\|350px\|right~~\|thumb~~\|]]		[[File:Cegorach statue.jpg\|350px\|right\|]]
	* Cegorach is the funniest entity in the universe, bar none, and he's tied with [[Tzeentch]], the [[Emperor]], the [[The Deceiver\|Deceiver]], [[Eldrad]], [[Asdrubael Vect]] and [[Creed\|CREEEEEEEEEEEEED!]] in just as planned and wanton dickishness.		* Cegorach is the funniest entity in the universe, bar none, and he's tied with [[Tzeentch]], the [[Emperor]], the [[The Deceiver\|Deceiver]], [[Eldrad]], [[Asdrubael Vect]] and [[Creed\|CREEEEEEEEEEEEED!]] in just as planned and wanton dickishness.
	* Cegorach is the Lolz Master and don't you forget it!		* Cegorach is the Lolz Master and don't you forget it!

185.16.69.183: /* History */

2022-10-27T14:01:52Z

History

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	They started to do drugs, then they started having orgies, then they started with the BDSM, and it only got [[Rape\|worse]] and [[Anime\|worse]] and even some of the [[Eldar]] Gods started to get in on the [[Elf Slave, Wat Do?\|"fun"]]. Cegorach was far too busy hosting the Eldar version of Monty Python and being a dick to join in on the hedonism and used it as joke fodder. When [[Slaanesh]] was born and went on its murderrape spree (powered by Chaos performance enhancing drugs) and killed nearly all of the Eldar Gods, created the Eye of Terror which swallowed the Crone Worlds of the Eldar empire and sent a psychic scream that killed most of the Eldar race; Cegorach hid behind the stronger gods and gave Slaanesh the occasional sucker punch and the not-so-occasional devastating one-liner.		They started to do drugs, then they started having orgies, then they started with the BDSM, and it only got [[Rape\|worse]] and [[Anime\|worse]] and even some of the [[Eldar]] Gods started to get in on the [[Elf Slave, Wat Do?\|"fun"]]. Cegorach was far too busy hosting the Eldar version of Monty Python and being a dick to join in on the hedonism and used it as joke fodder. When [[Slaanesh]] was born and went on its murderrape spree (powered by Chaos performance enhancing drugs) and killed nearly all of the Eldar Gods, created the Eye of Terror which swallowed the Crone Worlds of the Eldar empire and sent a psychic scream that killed most of the Eldar race; Cegorach hid behind the stronger gods and gave Slaanesh the occasional sucker punch and the not-so-occasional devastating one-liner.
			[[image:40k Cegorach statue.png\|250px\|thumb\|Two faced and with six arms, yeah that feels like a trickster god]]
	Still, it wasn't enough to stop the newborn drug-snorting transvestite to wreak havoc upon the Eldar Pantheon. After killing Asuryan, the strongest of the Eldar gods, Slaanesh's performance-enhancing drugs started to wear off but there were only three gods left to oppose him: [[Isha]] (who was as usual weeping uselessly), [[Khaela Mensha Khaine]] and Cegorach. Khaine finally got his shit in motion and started to fight Slaanesh properly and gave a good account of himself (occasionally helped by Cegorach from the sidelines) but in the end, it looked like the God of War would lose to Slaanesh... until [[Khorne]] suddenly came out of nowhere to bitch-slap the prissy little fuck because he rightfully claimed that Slaanesh had no right to lay a hand on his property. Yup, Khorne considers Khaine his <s>prison bitch</s> personal property. Go figure. At that point, Cegorach took the opportunity granted by the distraction to sneak into the Webway while no one was looking, since he knew he couldn't hope to face Slaanesh on his own and the rest is history. Why he didn't bring Isha along, only he knows. Still, since she got rescued by [[Nurgle]] instead of being tentacle-raped forever and now helps mitigate Granddaddy's plagues by revealing their cure to the surviving Eldar, it might be in fact a case of [[just as planned]]. Or maybe all three of the old Chaos gods had their favs and Tzeentch is Cegorach's Secret Santa.		Still, it wasn't enough to stop the newborn drug-snorting transvestite to wreak havoc upon the Eldar Pantheon. After killing Asuryan, the strongest of the Eldar gods, Slaanesh's performance-enhancing drugs started to wear off but there were only three gods left to oppose him: [[Isha]] (who was as usual weeping uselessly), [[Khaela Mensha Khaine]] and Cegorach. Khaine finally got his shit in motion and started to fight Slaanesh properly and gave a good account of himself (occasionally helped by Cegorach from the sidelines) but in the end, it looked like the God of War would lose to Slaanesh... until [[Khorne]] suddenly came out of nowhere to bitch-slap the prissy little fuck because he rightfully claimed that Slaanesh had no right to lay a hand on his property. Yup, Khorne considers Khaine his <s>prison bitch</s> personal property. Go figure. At that point, Cegorach took the opportunity granted by the distraction to sneak into the Webway while no one was looking, since he knew he couldn't hope to face Slaanesh on his own and the rest is history. Why he didn't bring Isha along, only he knows. Still, since she got rescued by [[Nurgle]] instead of being tentacle-raped forever and now helps mitigate Granddaddy's plagues by revealing their cure to the surviving Eldar, it might be in fact a case of [[just as planned]]. Or maybe all three of the old Chaos gods had their favs and Tzeentch is Cegorach's Secret Santa.