Chapter Master Smashfucker - Revision history

Sdhjk at 11:16, 7 August 2025

2025-08-07T11:16:48Z

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 {{Powergamer}}
-'''Smashfucker''' ''was'' one of the most [[cheese]]y, deadly character builds in Warhammer 40,000. An [[Iron Hands]] Chapter Master with a monstrous set of wargear, he is practically immortal and will smash your shit with extreme prejudice.
+'''Smashfucker''' ''was'' one of the most [[cheese]]y, deadly character builds in Warhammer 40,000. An [[Iron Hands]] Chapter Master with a monstrous set of wargear, he was practically immortal and will smash your shit with extreme prejudice.
 ==The O.G. Smash==
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 :'''Slow and Purposeful'''
-Obviously already hard as diamonds, but wait, there's more!  You could make the argument that Cataphractii Terminator Armour isn't Terminator Armour, even though it can only be worn by a Terminator Captain, in an attempt to get around the restriction that prevents regular Terminators from taking bikes. Obviously it's nice not having to footslog any more, but equally important is the toughness boost so you don't have to worry about Instant Death from anything less than S10. Smashfucker 9000 has Eternal Warrior, so ID attacks only wound him, but they prevent him from taking his epic FNP roll. The bike will bump him up to 185 points, which is a ''goddamned bargain''. However, do note that because Cataphractii Armour is explicitly stated to be Cataphractii ''Terminator Armour'', some people (namely your opponents, all of them, as well as every tourney organizer) would argue that is just enough RAW for the bike to be illegal (since Bikes say they cannot be bought by anyone wearing ''Terminator Armour''). If you're dead set on fielding this guy, be sure to put on your Phoenix Wright hair and go in prepared for a rules lawyering battle that will leave the wargame you're supposed to be playing in the dust.
+Obviously already hard as diamonds, but wait, there's more!  You could make the argument that [[Bullshit|Cataphractii Terminator Armour isn't Terminator Armour]], even though it can only be worn by a Terminator Captain, in an attempt to get around the restriction that prevents regular Terminators from taking bikes. Obviously it's nice not having to footslog any more, but equally important is the toughness boost so you don't have to worry about Instant Death from anything less than S10. Smashfucker 9000 has Eternal Warrior, so ID attacks only wound him, but they prevent him from taking his epic FNP roll. The bike will bump him up to 185 points, which is a ''goddamned bargain''. However, do note that because Cataphractii Armour is explicitly stated to be Cataphractii ''Terminator Armour'', some people (namely your opponents, all of them, as well as every tourney organizer) would argue that is just enough RAW for the bike to be illegal (since Bikes say they cannot be bought by anyone wearing ''Terminator Armour''). If you're dead set on fielding this guy, be sure to put on your Phoenix Wright hair and go in prepared for a rules lawyering battle that will leave the wargame you're supposed to be playing in the dust.
 Of course you'll still need to make him killy, but that topic is pretty well covered by now. There are only a couple of things to add. Because Smashgasm has two free hands, you can grab a Thunder Hammer / Lightning Claw combo. In addition, Terminator (and Cataphractii) armour can take a chainfist, which is a fine alternative to the Thunder Hammer. Ask yourself these two questions: "Is anyone actually going to survive long enough to be affected by the Thunder Hammer's Concussive?" and "Do I want to tear Land Raiders in half with my fists?".
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 +/2++R1/2+++
-Which means that you would need 1296 Conscripts to put ''a single wound on Smashfucker.'' And of course, ''even if you do somehow succeed in wounding him'', he still has a 5+ IWND, so there's no guarantee that wound will still be around next turn. And let's face it, you already need multiple turns of your entire army laying into this guy non-stop to even tickle him.
+Which means that you would need 1296 Conscripts to put ''a single wound on Smashfucker.'' And of course, ''even if you do somehow succeed in wounding him'', he still has a 5+ IWND, so there's no guarantee that wound will still be around next turn. And let's face it, you already need multiple turns of your entire army laying into this guy non-stop to even tickle him. It will get '''even more ridiculous''' if Smashfucker happens to be in Cover.
 Pretty much the only reliable way to even threaten Smashfucker is with either a massive amount of S10 AP2 or a roll of 6 on the Strength D chart. Even in the case of the S10 AP2 route, Smashfucker still has the ungodly 2++/2+++ to burn it off, so you need 36 shots at S10 AP2 to shave off a single wound.
 Note: A much much cheaper Bloodthirster of Insensate Rage takes Smashfucker in 2 turn mathematically, without sweating too much. So run like a Roid Forest Gump if you ever face one. Oh wait, you're Slow and Purposeful. Fuck.
 ==Bring Your Friends!==
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 </div>
 All in all, the Primarchs cannot hurt Smashfucker, though the amount of time it'll take for him to kill them is more than enough for his Librarians to suffer Perils, in which case he loses his 2+ Invuln, and if you're using them for Endurance, you'll also suffer perils and lose the 2+ FnP before the fight ends.  These also aren't exactly fair fights since Smashfucker's friends bring his points to well above them, and if they had friends, for example even one apothecary, the match would be an infinite stalemate.
 ==The Matchups==
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 Not only is a jetbike mobile and pumping out decent dakka against hordes, but the fly keyword also allows your golden banana to disengage and fire in case he gets in combat with something he can't beat (like a knight). Thanks to the stratagem, that guy gets to reroll 1 hit, wound, or save roll per player turn for the whole game. On the charge, BlingSmash has 5A at WS2+ rerolling 1's, S6 rerolling to wound, AP-3 D3 + an extra S5 AP-2 attack. And don't forget about the Hurricane Bolter/Missile Launcher. All that for a "mere" 180 pts and 4CP, or something like that. [[rape|Prepare thy anus!]]
-[[Category:Warhammer_40,000]][[Category:Space Marines]][[Category:Gamebreaking]]
+==9TH EDITION: PREMIERE LEAGUE OF SMASHING==

imported>Administrator: 240 revisions imported

2023-06-20T15:05:54Z

240 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 15:05, 20 June 2023
(No difference)

imported>Administrator: 1 revision imported

2023-06-18T21:51:28Z

1 revision imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 21:51, 18 June 2023
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1d4chan>Tsabo7: /* 8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANAS */

2021-12-22T21:06:36Z

8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANAS

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:06, 22 December 2021
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	If you're feeling '''really''' obnoxious, then why not go the whole way and [[Troll\|make both your two HQs Captain Smashfucker and Venerable Chaplain Smashfucker.]]		If you're feeling '''really''' obnoxious, then why not go the whole way and [[Troll\|make both your two HQs Captain Smashfucker and Venerable Chaplain Smashfucker.]]

	==8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES ~~BANANA~~==		==8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANAS==

	Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.		Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.

84.88.229.224: /* 8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANA */

2021-06-18T10:17:48Z

8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANA

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:17, 18 June 2021
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	Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.		Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.

	Take a Shield-Captain, in Shield-host (Hold-over for best smash-fuckering shield-host), and pay the 1CP to make him a Captain-Commander with (~~hold-over for best smash-fuckering option~~). Put him on a Dawneagle Jetbike, make him your Warlord, or use Ten Thousand Heroes, with the "Superior Creation" trait and the Auric Aquilas Relic and a Misericordia.(NOTE: Due to FAQ, STM can no longer generate WT on a character that used TTH to generate a WT. No more double warlord traits, sorry.) Oh, and for maximum [[lulz]], Spend 2CP on him at the start of the game for a "Victor of the Blood Games". This gives you the following profile:		Take a Shield-Captain, in Shield-host (Hold-over for best smash-fuckering shield-host), and pay the 1CP to make him a Captain-Commander with Indomitable Constitution for that sweet, sweet 2 extra wounds, making it 9 wounds total (It basically won't die), or if you feel like it is hard enough, unstoppable destroyer (Pile in and consilidates D3+3 to wherever he wants) opens the door to nice shenanigans... Or if you want DEATH AND DESTRUCTION you can give him Slayer of the Unclean (DOUBLE damage on 6+ to wound) or Bane of Abominations(Reroll wounds to Vehicle and Monster), although to be honest it has enough damage. Put him on a Dawneagle Jetbike, make him your Warlord, or use Ten Thousand Heroes, with the "Superior Creation" trait and the Auric Aquilas Relic and a Misericordia.(NOTE: Due to FAQ, STM can no longer generate WT on a character that used TTH to generate a WT. No more double warlord traits, sorry.) Oh, and for maximum [[lulz]], Spend 2CP on him at the start of the game for a "Victor of the Blood Games". This gives you the following profile:

	{\| class="wikitable"		{\| class="wikitable"

75.166.111.5 at 03:12, 24 February 2021

2021-02-24T03:12:58Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:12, 24 February 2021
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			{{Powergamer}}
	'''Smashfucker''' ''was'' one of the most [[cheese]]y, deadly character builds in Warhammer 40,000. An [[Iron Hands]] Chapter Master with a monstrous set of wargear, he is practically immortal and will smash your shit with extreme prejudice.		'''Smashfucker''' ''was'' one of the most [[cheese]]y, deadly character builds in Warhammer 40,000. An [[Iron Hands]] Chapter Master with a monstrous set of wargear, he is practically immortal and will smash your shit with extreme prejudice.

1d4chan>Cartoonjunkies: /* 8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANA */ Just remove the strike through part then god damn

2021-01-10T23:15:11Z

8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANA: Just remove the strike through part then god damn

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:15, 10 January 2021
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	Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.		Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.

	Take a Shield-Captain, in Shield-host (Hold-over for best smash-fuckering shield-host), and pay the 1CP to make him a Captain-Commander with (hold-over for best smash-fuckering option). Put him on a Dawneagle Jetbike, make him your Warlord, or use Ten Thousand Heroes, with the "Superior Creation" trait and the Auric Aquilas Relic and a Misericordia. ~~To make him even more ridiculous~~, ~~make another Shield-Captain your Warlord and suicide him, then use Shoulder the Mantle~~ to generate a ~~'''SECOND''' Warlord Trait for Smashfucker (Radiant Mantle~~, ~~anyone?~~). Oh, and for maximum [[lulz]], Spend 2CP on him at the start of the game for a "Victor of the Blood Games". This gives you the following profile:		Take a Shield-Captain, in Shield-host (Hold-over for best smash-fuckering shield-host), and pay the 1CP to make him a Captain-Commander with (hold-over for best smash-fuckering option). Put him on a Dawneagle Jetbike, make him your Warlord, or use Ten Thousand Heroes, with the "Superior Creation" trait and the Auric Aquilas Relic and a Misericordia.(NOTE: Due to FAQ, STM can no longer generate WT on a character that used TTH to generate a WT. No more double warlord traits, sorry.) Oh, and for maximum [[lulz]], Spend 2CP on him at the start of the game for a "Victor of the Blood Games". This gives you the following profile:

	{\| class="wikitable"		{\| class="wikitable"

58.162.223.230: Undo revision 735889 by Cartoonjunkies (talk) >Strikethroughs

2021-01-10T22:52:39Z

Undo revision 735889 by Cartoonjunkies (talk) >Strikethroughs

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:52, 10 January 2021
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	Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.		Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.

	Take a Shield-Captain, in Shield-host (Hold-over for best smash-fuckering shield-host), and pay the 1CP to make him a Captain-Commander with (hold-over for best smash-fuckering option). Put him on a Dawneagle Jetbike, make him your Warlord, or use Ten Thousand Heroes, with the "Superior Creation" trait and the Auric Aquilas Relic and a Misericordia. ~~<strike>~~To make him even more ridiculous, make another Shield-Captain your Warlord and suicide him, then use Shoulder the Mantle to generate a '''SECOND''' Warlord Trait for Smashfucker (Radiant Mantle, anyone?~~)</strike>(NOTE: Due to WOTS FAQ, you cannot generate a shoulder the mantle trait if you generated a trait using ten thousand heroes. Sorry, no double warlord traits anymore~~). Oh, and for maximum [[lulz]], Spend 2CP on him at the start of the game for a "Victor of the Blood Games". This gives you the following profile:		Take a Shield-Captain, in Shield-host (Hold-over for best smash-fuckering shield-host), and pay the 1CP to make him a Captain-Commander with (hold-over for best smash-fuckering option). Put him on a Dawneagle Jetbike, make him your Warlord, or use Ten Thousand Heroes, with the "Superior Creation" trait and the Auric Aquilas Relic and a Misericordia. To make him even more ridiculous, make another Shield-Captain your Warlord and suicide him, then use Shoulder the Mantle to generate a '''SECOND''' Warlord Trait for Smashfucker (Radiant Mantle, anyone?). Oh, and for maximum [[lulz]], Spend 2CP on him at the start of the game for a "Victor of the Blood Games". This gives you the following profile:

	{\| class="wikitable"		{\| class="wikitable"

1d4chan>Cartoonjunkies: /* 8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANA */ Updated for WOTS FAQ preventing double warlord trait.

2021-01-10T22:51:45Z

8TH EDITION: SMASHFUCKER GOES BANANA: Updated for WOTS FAQ preventing double warlord trait.

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:51, 10 January 2021
Line 380:		Line 380:
	Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.		Aka. "whatever a mere Space Marine can do, [[Adeptus Custodes\|we]] can do better". With the release of the Adeptus Custodes codex, a true successor to Smashfucker can be made. With the release of Psychic Awakening: WotS, all that smashing and fuckering has yielded promotion options for the mighty Shield-captain. Expect this model to become absurd as the min-maxers fully explore how terrifying he can become.

	Take a Shield-Captain, in Shield-host (Hold-over for best smash-fuckering shield-host), and pay the 1CP to make him a Captain-Commander with (hold-over for best smash-fuckering option). Put him on a Dawneagle Jetbike, make him your Warlord, or use Ten Thousand Heroes, with the "Superior Creation" trait and the Auric Aquilas Relic and a Misericordia. To make him even more ridiculous, make another Shield-Captain your Warlord and suicide him, then use Shoulder the Mantle to generate a '''SECOND''' Warlord Trait for Smashfucker (Radiant Mantle, anyone?). Oh, and for maximum [[lulz]], Spend 2CP on him at the start of the game for a "Victor of the Blood Games". This gives you the following profile:		Take a Shield-Captain, in Shield-host (Hold-over for best smash-fuckering shield-host), and pay the 1CP to make him a Captain-Commander with (hold-over for best smash-fuckering option). Put him on a Dawneagle Jetbike, make him your Warlord, or use Ten Thousand Heroes, with the "Superior Creation" trait and the Auric Aquilas Relic and a Misericordia. <strike>To make him even more ridiculous, make another Shield-Captain your Warlord and suicide him, then use Shoulder the Mantle to generate a '''SECOND''' Warlord Trait for Smashfucker (Radiant Mantle, anyone?)</strike>(NOTE: Due to WOTS FAQ, you cannot generate a shoulder the mantle trait if you generated a trait using ten thousand heroes. Sorry, no double warlord traits anymore). Oh, and for maximum [[lulz]], Spend 2CP on him at the start of the game for a "Victor of the Blood Games". This gives you the following profile:

	{\| class="wikitable"		{\| class="wikitable"

45.92.65.8: /* 8TH EDITION: CAPTAIN SMASHFUCKER AND THE IRON BASTARDS */

2020-10-02T06:41:54Z

8TH EDITION: CAPTAIN SMASHFUCKER AND THE IRON BASTARDS

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:41, 2 October 2020
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	==8TH EDITION: CAPTAIN SMASHFUCKER AND THE IRON BASTARDS==		==8TH EDITION: CAPTAIN SMASHFUCKER AND THE IRON BASTARDS==

	Although he may not be the inviolable [[rape]] juggernaut we all knew and loved, Smashfucker <s>still exists in 8th and with the release of the Space Marines codex he and his biker gang are still scary as shit</s> is no more. <b>Unfortunately, following the April 2018 FAQ, units may only roll for a single FNP ability.</b> So SMASHFUCKER would only get one 6+++ save, not two or three of them. Only in nerf does duty end. Mind you "Only" one 6+++ is still pretty tanky if not the same unstoppable juggernaut of ~~lore~~.		Although he may not be the inviolable [[rape]] juggernaut we all knew and loved, Smashfucker <s>still exists in 8th and with the release of the Space Marines codex he and his biker gang are still scary as shit</s> is no more. <b>Unfortunately, following the April 2018 FAQ, units may only roll for a single FNP ability.</b> So SMASHFUCKER would only get one 6+++ save, not two or three of them. Only in nerf does duty end. Mind you "Only" one 6+++ is still pretty tanky if not the same unstoppable juggernaut of yore.

	{\| class="wikitable"		{\| class="wikitable"