Crab Truckers - Revision history

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2023-06-20T16:24:59Z

15 revisions imported

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2023-06-18T22:11:58Z

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65.117.99.118: /* Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System */

2017-02-07T14:42:22Z

Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:42, 7 February 2017
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	So how do you contest shit in Big Mutherfuckin' Crab Truckers? Good fuckin' question, junior. Here's fuckin' how:		So how do you contest shit in Big Mutherfuckin' Crab Truckers? Good fuckin' question, junior. Here's fuckin' how:

	When you are describing what your fuckin' Crab is doing, and someone says 'No fuckin way!' then you both roll the dice to see who is fuckin' right. Highest wins. The default roll is 2d8, added together to give a score between 2, fuckin' awful, and 16, fuckin' ~~great~~. If you got a trait (like Drive! Fight! Strong! Sneaky! etc) that is fuckin' relevant, you get to roll an extra bonus die for it, and pick the two highest dice to add together.		When you are describing what your fuckin' Crab is doing, and someone says 'No fuckin way!' then you both roll the dice to see who is fuckin' right. Highest wins. The default roll is 2d8, added together to give a score between 2, fuckin' awful, and 16, fuckin' sweet. If you got a trait (like Drive! Fight! Strong! Sneaky! etc) that is fuckin' relevant, you get to roll an extra bonus die for it, and pick the two highest dice to add together.

	When there are things to complicate matters they first of all cancel out any bonus dice on a one-for-one basis. So, if there was a lotta smoke making visibility poor it would first of all cancel out a bonus die for rolls to drive the truck. And if the road was slick with oil then that would cancel out another fuckin' bonus die. If there are no more bonus dice to cancel out, add a 'penalty' die with your 2d8 and pick the ''lowest'' two to add together.		When there are things to complicate matters they first of all cancel out any bonus dice on a one-for-one basis. So, if there was a lotta smoke making visibility poor it would first of all cancel out a bonus die for rolls to drive the truck. And if the road was slick with oil then that would cancel out another fuckin' bonus die. If there are no more bonus dice to cancel out, add a 'penalty' die with your 2d8 and pick the ''lowest'' two to add together.

96.30.191.253 at 16:20, 3 January 2017

2017-01-03T16:20:49Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:20, 3 January 2017
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	Some musical accompaniment		Some musical accompaniment
	*[~~http~~://www.youtube.com/watch?v=~~JuyLTDAC7fE~~ for the trucks]		*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss for the trucks]
	*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECHOv0NL88 for the crabs]		*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECHOv0NL88 for the crabs]

1d4chan>Gravy826: /* Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System */

2016-07-05T02:00:51Z

Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:00, 5 July 2016
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	So get some fuckin' d8s, you're gonna fuckin' need them.		So get some fuckin' d8s, you're gonna fuckin' need them.

	There are a whole bunch of roles that the truckers need to do to get their shit done. So everyone playing Big Mutherfuckin' Crab Truckers gets to pick one of these things. And they fuckin' do it. ~~They~~ y'all work together to truck the shit despite all the trouble that comes your way. That's the way it's always been for as long as the Big Mutherfuckin' Crab Truckers can remember.		There are a whole bunch of roles that the truckers need to do to get their shit done. So everyone playing Big Mutherfuckin' Crab Truckers gets to pick one of these things. And they fuckin' do it. Then y'all work together to truck the shit despite all the trouble that comes your way. That's the way it's always been for as long as the Big Mutherfuckin' Crab Truckers can remember.

	* '''Driver'''. You are the fuckin' driver. You take pride in your drivin' and can pull most any crazy shit with your truck. Your job is to keep the wheels moving and get the truck to its destination. You get '''Drive!''' and three other fuckin' traits.		* '''Driver'''. You are the fuckin' driver. You take pride in your drivin' and can pull most any crazy shit with your truck. Your job is to keep the wheels moving and get the truck to its destination. You get '''Drive!''' and three other fuckin' traits.

99.11.197.75: /* OK, Here's the fuckin' deal */

2015-05-03T06:50:18Z

OK, Here's the fuckin' deal

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:50, 3 May 2015
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	So, why do they do it? It's in their fuckin' nature. When you're a big fuckin' crab, drivin' a truck all day, you get a lot of time to turn things over in your mind. And listen to religious radio too. And it gets you thinkin' about where you fit in on the great wheel of life. And then you get religion. And to a big mutherfuckin' crab, religion don't get much higher than the Mutherfuckin' Crab Goddess who resides on that wonderously beautiful and most sacred place: Crab Mountain. And what she says, goes. Word.		So, why do they do it? It's in their fuckin' nature. When you're a big fuckin' crab, drivin' a truck all day, you get a lot of time to turn things over in your mind. And listen to religious radio too. And it gets you thinkin' about where you fit in on the great wheel of life. And then you get religion. And to a big mutherfuckin' crab, religion don't get much higher than the Mutherfuckin' Crab Goddess who resides on that wonderously beautiful and most sacred place: Crab Mountain. And what she says, goes. Word.

	And if that's 3000 wedding dresses to a city you ain't never heard of, by tomorrow night? Then that's what it fuckin' is. And you will truck it there, and you will like it, and you will pull an all-day and all-night ride to fuckin' do it. You will fight off the rabid fuckin' cut-throats, thieves, cops and all-other-manner-of-dipshit crazies that line the road. Because those wedding dresses, of whatever the fuck it is that the Crab Goddess said had to get there, got to get there. It's their destiny. And you're a big mutherfuckin' destiny maker, wrapped up in the body of a 300 lbs mutherfuckin' crab.		And if that's 3000 wedding dresses to a city you ain't never heard of, by tomorrow night? Then that's what it fuckin' is. And you will truck it there, and you will like it, and you will pull an all-day and all-night ride to fuckin' do it. You will fight off the rabid fuckin' cut-throats, thieves, cops and all-other-manner-of-dipshit crazies that line the road. Because those wedding dresses, or whatever the fuck it is that the Crab Goddess said had to get there, got to get there. It's their destiny. And you're a big mutherfuckin' destiny maker, wrapped up in the body of a 300 lbs mutherfuckin' crab.

	== Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System ==		== Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System ==

50.1.50.131: /* Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System */

2013-05-16T09:43:59Z

Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:43, 16 May 2013
Line 29:		Line 29:
	So how do you contest shit in Big Mutherfuckin' Crab Truckers? Good fuckin' question, junior. Here's fuckin' how:		So how do you contest shit in Big Mutherfuckin' Crab Truckers? Good fuckin' question, junior. Here's fuckin' how:

	When you are describing what your fuckin' Crab is doing, and someone says 'No fuckin way!' then you both roll the dice to see who is fuckin' right. Highest wins. The default roll is 2d8, added together to give a score between 2(fuckin' awful) and 16(fuckin' great). If you got a trait (like Drive! Fight! Strong! Sneaky! etc) that is fuckin' relevant, you get to roll an extra bonus die for it, and pick the two highest dice to add together.		When you are describing what your fuckin' Crab is doing, and someone says 'No fuckin way!' then you both roll the dice to see who is fuckin' right. Highest wins. The default roll is 2d8, added together to give a score between 2, fuckin' awful, and 16, fuckin' great. If you got a trait (like Drive! Fight! Strong! Sneaky! etc) that is fuckin' relevant, you get to roll an extra bonus die for it, and pick the two highest dice to add together.

	When there are things to complicate matters they first of all cancel out any bonus dice on a one-for-one basis. So, if there was a lotta smoke making visibility poor it would first of all cancel out a bonus die for rolls to drive the truck. And if the road was slick with oil then that would cancel out another fuckin' bonus die. If there are no more bonus dice to cancel out, add a 'penalty' die with your 2d8 and pick the ''lowest'' two to add together.		When there are things to complicate matters they first of all cancel out any bonus dice on a one-for-one basis. So, if there was a lotta smoke making visibility poor it would first of all cancel out a bonus die for rolls to drive the truck. And if the road was slick with oil then that would cancel out another fuckin' bonus die. If there are no more bonus dice to cancel out, add a 'penalty' die with your 2d8 and pick the ''lowest'' two to add together.

50.1.50.131: /* OK, Here's the fuckin' deal */

2013-05-16T09:39:41Z

OK, Here's the fuckin' deal

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:39, 16 May 2013
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	Big Mutherfukin' Crab Truckers is a role-playing game about big motherfucking crabs. Or crab-people. Some shit like that. Anyway, they're real fuckin' big. We're talking as big as a big mutherfuckin' trucker, maybe 300 lbs, but square, with beady fuckin' eyes, 8 legs and a pair of pincers as heavy as a bag of fuckin' plutonium clawhammmers. Yeah, that fuckin' big.		Big Mutherfukin' Crab Truckers is a role-playing game about big motherfucking crabs. Or crab-people. Some shit like that. Anyway, they're real fuckin' big. We're talking as big as a big mutherfuckin' trucker, maybe 300 lbs, but square, with beady fuckin' eyes, 8 legs and a pair of pincers as heavy as a bag of fuckin' plutonium clawhammmers. Yeah, that fuckin' big.

	And they truck. Yeah, they drive shit across the desert to please their '''Mutherfuckin' Crab Goddess'''. And they truck in heavy, chromed trucks with lots of fuckin' wheels, rasping engines and big ol' cabs. The sorts of cabs that could fit 300 lbs square, heavy set, big mutherfuckin' ~~crabs~~ in it. And they are in the shit.		And they truck. Yeah, they drive shit across the desert to please their '''Mutherfuckin' Crab Goddess'''. And they truck in heavy, chromed trucks with lots of fuckin' wheels, rasping engines and big ol' cabs. The sorts of cabs that could fit a 300 lbs, square, heavy set, big mutherfuckin' crab in it. And they are the shit.

	So, why do they do it? It's in their fuckin' nature. When you're a big fuckin' crab, drivin' a truck all day, you get a lot of time to turn things over in your mind. And listen to religious radio too. And it gets you thinkin' about where you fit in on the great wheel of life. And then you get religion. And to a big mutherfuckin' crab, religion don't get much higher than the Mutherfuckin' Crab Goddess who resides on that wonderously beautiful and most sacred place: Crab Mountain. And what she says, goes. Word.		So, why do they do it? It's in their fuckin' nature. When you're a big fuckin' crab, drivin' a truck all day, you get a lot of time to turn things over in your mind. And listen to religious radio too. And it gets you thinkin' about where you fit in on the great wheel of life. And then you get religion. And to a big mutherfuckin' crab, religion don't get much higher than the Mutherfuckin' Crab Goddess who resides on that wonderously beautiful and most sacred place: Crab Mountain. And what she says, goes. Word.

1d4chan>KumoKrieger: /* Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System */

2012-07-17T09:34:29Z

Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:34, 17 July 2012
Line 38:		Line 38:
	*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuyLTDAC7fE for the trucks]		*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuyLTDAC7fE for the trucks]
	*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECHOv0NL88 for the crabs]		*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECHOv0NL88 for the crabs]

	~~-----~~

	==Tennis Spiders RPG==		==Tennis Spiders RPG==

1d4chan>KumoKrieger: /* Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System */

2012-07-17T09:33:43Z

Safety Off, Here's The Fuckin' System

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:33, 17 July 2012
Line 34:		Line 34:

	The GM just rolls 2 fuckin' dice every time. That's the rules. So if the GM says 'No fuckin' way' to something, they roll 2d8. No bonuses or penalties apply to the GM's dice. That's fuckin' it.		The GM just rolls 2 fuckin' dice every time. That's the rules. So if the GM says 'No fuckin' way' to something, they roll 2d8. No bonuses or penalties apply to the GM's dice. That's fuckin' it.

	~~-----~~

	Some musical accompaniment		Some musical accompaniment
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	*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECHOv0NL88 for the crabs]		*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECHOv0NL88 for the crabs]

			-----

	==Tennis Spiders RPG==		==Tennis Spiders RPG==