Custodian Guard - Revision history

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2023-06-20T16:36:17Z

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2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:E100:687B:F124:50E7 at 15:54, 29 May 2023

2023-05-29T15:54:54Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:54, 29 May 2023
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	The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar, whilst shanking surrendering fools with their [[Power Weapon#Misericordia\|misericordia]]. All of them don the overly extravagant [[Auramite Armour]], which can put [[Artificer Armour]] to shame.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar, whilst shanking surrendering fools with their [[Power Weapon#Misericordia\|misericordia]]. All of them don the overly extravagant [[Auramite Armour]], which can put [[Artificer Armour]] to shame.

	As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.		As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.
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	===Come 8th Edition===		===Come 8th Edition===

	Stats-wise, the average Custodian is mostly unchanged, barring a [[FAIL\|drop in their Leadership score to 8]], and a wound increase to three. That’s right, when running a Custodes army, your basic guy has [[Mary Sue\|three S6 AP-3 Dd3 attacks, three wounds, a 2+/5++/6+++ (and the invuln is upped to a 4+ if they come in a pure Custodes detachement), T5, and Ld8]]. They can also get a Storm Shield for a 3++ at the cost of having to take a Sentinel Blade, which is S:User, AP-3, Dd3. They also no longer have Fearless or Eternal Warrior built-in; instead they get a +5 Invulnerable save and a chance to ignore a Mortal Wound during the Psychic Phase on a roll of 6 thanks to their ''Aegis of the Emperor'' ability. Deep Strike as a movement option also requires spending 1 CP for one unit, or 3 for two.		Stats-wise, the average Custodian is mostly unchanged, barring a [[FAIL\|drop in their Leadership score to 8]], and a wound increase to three. That’s right, when running a Custodes army, your basic guy has [[Mary Sue\|three S6 AP-3 Dd3 attacks, three wounds, a 2+/5++/6+++ (and the invuln is upped to a 4+ if they come in a pure Custodes detachement), T5, and Ld8]]. They can also get a Storm Shield for a 3++ at the cost of having to take a Sentinel Blade, which is S:User, AP-3, Dd3. They also no longer have Fearless or Eternal Warrior built-in; instead they get a +5 Invulnerable save and a chance to ignore a Mortal Wound during the Psychic Phase on a roll of 6 thanks to their ''Aegis of the Emperor'' ability. Deep Strike as a movement option also requires spending 1 CP for one unit, or 3 for two.

	===In 30k / Horus Heresy===		===In 30k / Horus Heresy===

1d4chan>Derpysaurus at 07:45, 26 November 2022

2022-11-26T07:45:06Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:45, 26 November 2022
Line 2:		Line 2:
	The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar. All of them don the overly extravagant [[Auramite Armour]], which can put [[Artificer Armour]] to shame.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar, whilst shanking surrendering fools with their [[Power Weapon#Misericordia\|misericordia]]. All of them don the overly extravagant [[Auramite Armour]], which can put [[Artificer Armour]] to shame.

	As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.		As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.

1d4chan>Derpysaurus at 13:53, 9 April 2022

2022-04-09T13:53:58Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:53, 9 April 2022
Line 2:		Line 2:
	The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar. ~~In their mind’s eye they carry judgment~~, ~~and in their fists they carry death~~.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar. All of them don the overly extravagant [[Auramite Armour]], which can put [[Artificer Armour]] to shame.

	As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.		As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.

1d4chan>Derpysaurus at 06:56, 27 November 2020

2020-11-27T06:56:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:56, 27 November 2020
Line 2:		Line 2:
	The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.

	As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic Guardian Spears, a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, Power Knives and a Sentinel Blade. They aren't to be directly fucked with.		As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.

	==Tabletop Rules==		==Tabletop Rules==

1d4chan>BryghtSkye at 14:46, 6 May 2020

2020-05-06T14:46:08Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:46, 6 May 2020
Line 7:		Line 7:

	==Tabletop Rules==		==Tabletop Rules==
	[[File:60010101002_BurningProsperoENG02.jpg\|right\|thumb\|300px\|[[Anal Circumference\|Time to lube up your anus,]] [[Rape\|my spear is going in dry....]]]]		[[File:60010101002_BurningProsperoENG02.jpg\|right\|thumb\|300px\|[[Anal Circumference\|Time to lube up your anus,]] or [[Rape\|my spear is going in dry....]]]]
	What do we get after years of waiting? [[Rape\|Brutal]] statlines, plain and simple... First off: these guys have WS/BS/T/S 5 (WS6 on sarge). That's right guys, they are as strong and tough as a [[Warboss]] and almost as killy as a space marine captain (in fact, barring having a wound less, the custodes sarge is identical with a bike captain, all while having one more base attack and strength).		What do we get after years of waiting? [[Rape\|Brutal]] statlines, plain and simple... First off: these guys have WS/BS/T/S 5 (WS6 on sarge). That's right guys, they are as strong and tough as a [[Warboss]] and almost as killy as a space marine captain (in fact, barring having a wound less, the custodes sarge is identical with a bike captain, all while having one more base attack and strength).

142.112.141.232 at 04:10, 7 May 2019

2019-05-07T04:10:09Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:10, 7 May 2019
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]		[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]
	The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a ~~sure fire~~ message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.

1d4chan>Pseftis at 22:44, 27 February 2019

2019-02-27T22:44:22Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:44, 27 February 2019
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]		[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]
	The Custodian Guard are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a sure fire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a sure fire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.

24.72.123.185: fixed a couple typos. writing is still pretty bad though, could do with a re-write by somebody who isn't 13

2018-11-28T17:45:56Z

fixed a couple typos. writing is still pretty bad though, could do with a re-write by somebody who isn't 13

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:45, 28 November 2018
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]		[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]
	The Custodian Guard are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever ~~a Sunlight~~ gleams from burnished gold, it is a sure ~~fired~~ message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The Custodian Guard are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a sure fire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:45, 26 November 2022
Line 2:		Line 2:
	The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar. All of them don the overly extravagant [[Auramite Armour]], which can put [[Artificer Armour]] to shame.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar, whilst shanking surrendering fools with their [[Power Weapon#Misericordia\|misericordia]]. All of them don the overly extravagant [[Auramite Armour]], which can put [[Artificer Armour]] to shame.

	As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.		As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:53, 9 April 2022
Line 2:		Line 2:
	The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar. ~~In their mind’s eye they carry judgment~~, ~~and in their fists they carry death~~.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|guardian spears]] and [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|sentinel blades,]] they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the [[Guardian Bolter\|built-in bolters]] hammer out death from afar. All of them don the overly extravagant [[Auramite Armour]], which can put [[Artificer Armour]] to shame.

	As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.		As bodyguards of the Emperor, the Custodian Guard are equipped with the iconic [[Power weapon#Guardian Spear\|Guardian Spears,]] a Custodes Vexilla, Storm Shields, [[Power weapon#Power Knife\|Power Knives]] and a [[Power weapon#Sentinel Blade\|Sentinel Blade.]] They aren't to be directly fucked with.

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:10, 7 May 2019
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]		[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]
	The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a ~~sure fire~~ message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a surefire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:44, 27 February 2019
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]		[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]
	The Custodian Guard are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a sure fire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The '''Custodian Guard''' are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a sure fire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:45, 28 November 2018
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]		[[File:Custodian_Guard.jpg\|350px\|right\|thumb\|When your most basic line troops are as tough as the [[Ork\|Ork's]] [[Warboss\|most powerful leaders]], you know that they are going to hurt a lot.]]
	The Custodian Guard are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever ~~a Sunlight~~ gleams from burnished gold, it is a sure ~~fired~~ message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].		The Custodian Guard are the most baseline troop of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] yet despite being troops, these honored Banana Men of the [[Emprah]] are still one of his most powerful warriors short of the [[Primarchs]]. Whenever sunlight gleams from burnished gold, it is a sure fire message that the Custodian Guard are striding from the choking fog of war like fucking [[Lord of the Rings\|Gandalf the White]] during the ending scene of the Two Towers. These warriors make for a fearsome sight, for each is taller and broader by far than a mortal man, a goliath of battle that can [[Fist of the North Star\|snap an assailant’s neck with a single punch. Kenshiro style.]] They are so utterly ''fabulous'' that bullets and shrapnel ricochet from gilded breastplates as the foe tries in vain to land a telling blow but is too mesmerized by the Custodian's [[Manly Marines\|golden pecs and gilded muscles.]] [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Cases of Custodians stripping naked and posing their well endowed bodies]] are known to make the enemies of men get penis envy (And to make the [[/d/\|females more moist than a]] [[Slaanesh\|Slaaneshi]] [[Daemonette]] [[NSFW\|in heat]]) and are often rejected by the [[Inquisition]] as outrageous and potentially [[Heresy\|heretical]].

	Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.		Each of these warriors is armed and armoured with the finest wargear, and they carry the blessing of the Emperah himself. So if your entire squad of [[Terminators]] suddenly turned into open minced meat, then you know who the main culprits are as these golden brotherfuckers could spank an [[Ork]] [[Warboss]] like a bitch. They are the bane of every non-monstrous creature '''''<u>EVER</U>'''''. And no. Your little [[Fire Warrior\|Space Weeaboos with their tiny gunsticks]] [[Pathfinder Team\|and their precious little markerlights]] are only going to slow down the inevitable [[Anal_Circumference\|ass raping you will endure.]] Even baleful magic washes harmlessly from the steely minds of these paragons as the filthy witches drop to their knees to their [[Spiritual Liege\|TRUE Spiritual Liege.]] With their guardian spears and sentinel blades, they spin, parry and thrust, cutting the enemy down even as the built-in bolters hammer out death from afar. In their mind’s eye they carry judgment, and in their fists they carry death.