Daria 40k - Revision history

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2023-06-20T16:46:38Z

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2023-06-18T22:28:31Z

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2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:6C35:CDEB:3464:D76B: /* Bonus Chapter: Legends of the Dark Millennium: Mettlemouf. */

2023-03-04T16:50:40Z

Bonus Chapter: Legends of the Dark Millennium: Mettlemouf.

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:50, 4 March 2023
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	"Oh no!" Angelica squealed, "The Emperor is punishing us for our sins!"		"Oh no!" Angelica squealed, "The Emperor is punishing us for our sins!"

	"Wot? Don't FLATTER yourselves!" the creature said in a staccato voice that reminded the space marine of a commissar he had once fought alongside, "I ~~aint~~ here for you PANSIE GITS! Though, nows I fink about it, your THICK SKULLS would look good on me BOSSPOLL! Naw, I's here to loots yer shipment o' SHOOTY STUFF! My WAAAUGH's low on supplies and..."		"Wot? Don't FLATTER yourselves!" the creature said in a staccato voice that reminded the space marine of a commissar he had once fought alongside, "I ain't here for you PANSIE GITS! Though, nows I fink about it, your THICK SKULLS would look good on me BOSSPOLL! Naw, I's here to loots yer shipment o' SHOOTY STUFF! My WAAAUGH's low on supplies and..."

	'''"DA BOYZ JUST WANNA HAVE GUNS!"'''		'''"DA BOYZ JUST WANNA HAVE GUNS!"'''

	[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]][[Category: Stories]] [[Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000]]		[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]][[Category: Stories]] [[Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000]]

180.200.157.202: /* Turn 9: Plague-Hulk Like Me. */

2014-02-28T23:39:36Z

Turn 9: Plague-Hulk Like Me.

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	The Plague-Hulk had no chance to respond to this, as she was interrupted by a chainsword removing a slab of her fat in a spray of effluence.		The Plague-Hulk had no chance to respond to this, as she was interrupted by a chainsword removing a slab of her fat in a spray of effluence.

	"AHAH! I reMEMBER you!" The manic Commissar shouted, "I fought you ~~one~~ the Space Hulk Pei Diem! YOU'RE the one that took my EYE!"		"AHAH! I reMEMBER you!" The manic Commissar shouted, "I fought you on the Space Hulk Pei Diem! YOU'RE the one that took my EYE!"

	"Yeah, that's right." The creature said smugly, licking her cankered, herpeous lips, "It was delicious."		"Yeah, that's right." The creature said smugly, licking her cankered, herpeous lips, "It was delicious."
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	"Hmm... that's probably important..."		"Hmm... that's probably important..."


	===Turn 10: Groped By A Daemon.===		===Turn 10: Groped By A Daemon.===

68.146.68.220: /* Turn 1: I Loathe A Crusade. */

2013-08-31T06:23:28Z

Turn 1: I Loathe A Crusade.

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	==Story==		==Story==
	===Turn 1: I Loathe A Crusade.===		===Turn 1: I Loathe A Crusade.===
	With apologies to the fine folks (~~and~~ Matt Ward) at Games Workshop.		With apologies to the fine folks (except for Matt Ward) at Games Workshop.

	'''Ultima Segmentum, Planet Lawndale. Year 997.M41.'''		'''Ultima Segmentum, Planet Lawndale. Year 997.M41.'''

76.68.49.111 at 18:23, 23 November 2012

2012-11-23T18:23:01Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:23, 23 November 2012
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	{{Story}} {{awesome}}		{{Story}} {{awesome}}
	''Daria 40k: Is It The [[Grimdark\|Grim Dark]]ness Of The Far Future, Yet?'' is a piece of comedic [[writefag]]gotry that mixes (surprise, surprise) the venerable ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' setting with the characters of MTV's classic cartoon (from before MTV sucked) ''Daria'', as well as its ever-popular parent series, ''Beavis and Butt-Head''. The story's humor is derived from its many in-jokes on both the cartoons and ''40k''.		''Daria 40k: Is It The [[Grimdark\|Grim Dark]]ness Of The Far Future Yet?'' is a piece of comedic [[writefag]]gotry that mixes (surprise, surprise) the venerable ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' setting with the characters of MTV's classic cartoon (from before MTV sucked) ''Daria'', as well as its ever-popular parent series, ''Beavis and Butt-Head''. The story's humor is derived from its many in-jokes on both the cartoons and ''40k''.

	Interestingly, it was originally posted on a ''Daria'' fanfic message board before an anon who may or may not be the author posted it to /tg/, but we won't hold that against it because it's actually pretty funny.		Interestingly, it was originally posted on a ''Daria'' fanfic message board before an anon who may or may not be the author posted it to /tg/, but we won't hold that against it because it's actually pretty funny.

1d4chan>Windows2000pro: added to Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000

2012-05-27T19:10:59Z

added to Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:10, 27 May 2012
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	{{Story}}		{{Story}} {{awesome}}
	''Daria 40k: Is It The [[Grimdark\|Grim Dark]]ness Of The Far Future, Yet?'' is a piece of comedic [[writefag]]gotry that mixes (surprise, surprise) the venerable ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' setting with the characters of MTV's classic cartoon (from before MTV sucked) ''Daria'', as well as its ever-popular parent series, ''Beavis and Butt-Head''. The story's humor is derived from its many in-jokes on both the cartoons and ''40k''.		''Daria 40k: Is It The [[Grimdark\|Grim Dark]]ness Of The Far Future, Yet?'' is a piece of comedic [[writefag]]gotry that mixes (surprise, surprise) the venerable ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' setting with the characters of MTV's classic cartoon (from before MTV sucked) ''Daria'', as well as its ever-popular parent series, ''Beavis and Butt-Head''. The story's humor is derived from its many in-jokes on both the cartoons and ''40k''.

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	'''"DA BOYZ JUST WANNA HAVE GUNS!"'''		'''"DA BOYZ JUST WANNA HAVE GUNS!"'''

	[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]][[Category: Stories]]		[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]][[Category: Stories]] [[Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000]]

69.158.86.229 at 04:37, 29 November 2011

2011-11-29T04:37:23Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:37, 29 November 2011
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	''Finitus''.		''Finitus''.

			===Bonus Chapter: Legends of the Dark Millennium: Mettlemouf.===

			If anybody noticed the Rhino at the head of the convoy rocking rhythmically back and forth on its shocks, nobody said anything. Most were too busy refueling, performing maintenance and other mundane but necessary tasks in The Emperor's service now that they had found a safe and relatively defensible position to spend the night. They may not have appreciated being stuck on guard duty, but with the local PDF and Imperial Guard regiments stretched to breaking by the Green Tide, it was up to the men of the Lions Chapter to see the shipment of precious weaponry to the front lines.

			Brother Kelvinus, however, was not particularly concerned with the mission at the moment. His task was not a mundane one, and with the effect his Space Marine enhancements had on his ability to reproduce it was certainly not necessary. He was, however, very busy.

			The majority of his sacred armor stripped away, excepting, curiously, his pauldrons, the space marine lay on the cold metal floor of the tank, his black carapace cybernetics showing as a dark shadow beneath the glistening skin of his chest, as Angelica, one of the more comely female Chapter Serfs, prepared to straddle him. It barely occurred to him that the woman was meant to breed with the Serfs drawn from the Lions' recruiting program, or that his last paramour may be jealous. After all, she and the rest of the sisters were halfway across the galaxy, battling across the ashen fields of a distant world against the forces of the decadent Slaanesh Daemon Prince Dannlzz, Son of the Sarcocele-Dotted Loins, after an attempt to deal with the degenerate beast more quietly by the Culexus Temple had gone horribly awry.

			Nor did it occur to either of them that their dereliction of duty would have consequences. They've both served The Emperor faithfully, haven't they? Weren't they entitled to some reward?

			The Emperor, however, as is the prerogative of many a deity, likes to work in mysterious ways. It wasn't long until Angelica noticed some strange scraping sounds and unearthly music over their own noise. Brother Kelvinus attempted to wave it off. Said attempt was rudely interrupted by a sudden breach in the Rhino's hull right next to him.

			There should have been some warning. Some sign. No way this beast, its race never known for subtlety, could have gotten in without notice. There were legends in this sector about a legendary Ork Boss-Mek who possessed teleportation systems so advanced he could appear anywhere within a thousand lightyears. A monstrous beast whose bionic jaw, what the foul greenskins referred to as a "gob", could bite through anything like paper. They had been reluctant to believe it, more out of fear, perhaps, than any genuine doubt that a creature with such powers could exist, but there he was. Over a half ton of fungus twisted into the shape of steely muscle by eons-old alien genetic manipulation covered in a bloodstained industrial apron, its pockets filled with incomprehensible but certainly painful tools, crude bionics adorning its body. The most terrifying thing, however was its head. A glowing headlamp that served as its right eye, because the Orks, with their bizarre latent telekinetic and reality-altering abilities believed it could work as such, pulsed in time with its breathing. Its moss-colored face was lined and hateful.

			But worst of all was its mouth.

			In place of the monstrous teeth and tusks of the typical greenskin, the lower half of the abomination's head was a mass of jagged, glistening metal, held together by crooked, misassembled hydraulics that never should have allowed them to gnash the way they did. Not in any sane universe. Eldritch energies crackled through the metal of the jaws and from out of the depths of the Warp, a strange, hypnotic melody could just barely be heard over the cacophony that Orks were wont to produce.

			"Oh no!" Angelica squealed, "The Emperor is punishing us for our sins!"

			"Wot? Don't FLATTER yourselves!" the creature said in a staccato voice that reminded the space marine of a commissar he had once fought alongside, "I aint here for you PANSIE GITS! Though, nows I fink about it, your THICK SKULLS would look good on me BOSSPOLL! Naw, I's here to loots yer shipment o' SHOOTY STUFF! My WAAAUGH's low on supplies and..."

			'''"DA BOYZ JUST WANNA HAVE GUNS!"'''

	[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]][[Category: Stories]]		[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]][[Category: Stories]]

70.29.30.183: /* Turn 6: Fire Fire Fire! */

2011-08-31T16:29:52Z

Turn 6: Fire Fire Fire!

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	The two sarcastic Lady Assassins' continuing search for the illusive sorceress was briefly interrupted by a horrible sound emanating from the nearby battlefield.		The two sarcastic Lady Assassins' continuing search for the illusive sorceress was briefly interrupted by a horrible sound emanating from the nearby battlefield.

	'''"I AM THE GREAT KHORNEHOLIO!!!"'''		'''"[[Cornholio the Cultist\|I AM THE GREAT KHORNEHOLIO]]!!!"'''

	"Oh Emperor, no. Not again..."		"Oh Emperor, no. Not again..."

70.24.110.96: /* Turn 1: I Loathe A Crusade. */

2011-06-05T03:17:42Z

Turn 1: I Loathe A Crusade.

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:17, 5 June 2011
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	With apologies to the fine folks (and Matt Ward) at Games Workshop.		With apologies to the fine folks (and Matt Ward) at Games Workshop.

	'''Segmentum ~~Carter~~, Planet Lawndale. Year 997.M41.'''		'''Ultima Segmentum, Planet Lawndale. Year 997.M41.'''

	[[Commissar Fuklaw\|Colonel-Commissar DeMartino]] surveyed the motley crew of Planetary Defense Force troops, Guardsmen, Sisters of Battle and Space Marines of the redoubtable Lions Chapter who would be participating in the joint operation to eradicate the vile forces of Chaos from Lawndale. It was time for the rousing speech.		[[Commissar Fuklaw\|Colonel-Commissar DeMartino]] surveyed the motley crew of Planetary Defense Force troops, Guardsmen, Sisters of Battle and Space Marines of the redoubtable Lions Chapter who would be participating in the joint operation to eradicate the vile forces of Chaos from Lawndale. It was time for the rousing speech.
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	Colonel-Commissar DeMartino never did get to finish the rousing speech. He was too busy looking for a Chaos Landraider to heroically throw himself under.		Colonel-Commissar DeMartino never did get to finish the rousing speech. He was too busy looking for a Chaos Landraider to heroically throw himself under.


	===Turn 2: The Heresy Chick.===		===Turn 2: The Heresy Chick.===