Erda - Revision history

174.225.17.7: /* Biography AKA The Skubian Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager */

2025-04-03T16:00:26Z

Biography AKA The Skubian Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:00, 3 April 2025
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	For all intents and purposes, as a Perpetual, Erda was one of the oldest living beings in the Imperium. She met the Emprah in [[Terra\|Terra's]] ancient past when he was a warlord king known as [[Conan the Barbarian\|Neoth in the age of the First Cities.]] At that time, the Golden Daddy was already shepherding Mankind into the path that would lead to the creation of the Imperium. Erda grew the hots for him and we can't really fault her for this because any normal women could not resist that guy. I mean, just look at that ''hair'' and those ''pecs''... Aaaannnyway, Erda became one of the Emprah's closest and most loyal advisers and, during the [[Unification Wars]], was his chief geneticist along with Astarte in the creation of the [[Primarch]] project.		For all intents and purposes, as a Perpetual, Erda was one of the oldest living beings in the Imperium. She met the Emprah in [[Terra\|Terra's]] ancient past when he was a warlord king known as [[Conan the Barbarian\|Neoth in the age of the First Cities.]] At that time, the Golden Daddy was already shepherding Mankind into the path that would lead to the creation of the Imperium. Erda grew the hots for him and we can't really fault her for this because any normal women could not resist that guy. I mean, just look at that ''hair'' and those ''pecs''... Aaaannnyway, Erda became one of the Emprah's closest and most loyal advisers and, during the [[Unification Wars]], was his chief geneticist along with Astarte in the creation of the [[Primarch]] project.

	The other perpetuals by this point had pretty much cast out Big E's camp as fringe radicals who were pushing the evolutionary envelope too fast to guide mankind's evolution into a superior species. She was among the last to leave Big E's inner circle, since He was the only one with the power and skill to see visions of what humanity had to do in order to survive. Since the other Perpetuals knew that Humanity didn't have time to naturally evolve due to the various threats ready to end their species (and maybe all of existence), their opposition to Big E's efforts made them stupid at best and evil at worst. More than likely both!		The other perpetuals by this point had pretty much cast out Big E's camp as fringe radicals who were pushing the evolutionary envelope too fast to guide mankind's evolution into a superior species. She was among the last to leave Big E's inner circle, since He was the only one with the power and skill to see visions of what humanity had to do in order to survive. Since the other Perpetuals knew that Humanity didn't have time to naturally evolve due to the various threats ready to end their species (and maybe all of existence), their opposition to Big E's efforts made them stupid at best and evil at worst. More than likely both! Made all the worse by the fact that the Emperor did nothing to accelerate humanity’s evolution and even created supermen to protect humanity during that natural evolution. So, logically it was either that the other Perpetuals were the ones trying to rush evolution and the Emperor who opposed it, or most Perpetuals are genuinely evil people going the same route as the augments did in Star Trek’s history.

	However, this is where the true Skub begins. While it makes sense that the Emprah had chosen Erda as the Primarch's mom since they're both perpetuals with complementary genetics, Big-E prevented Erda from taking part in their lives so he could prepare them for the upcoming Great Crusade. Like any overbearing mom, this pissed Erda the fuck off. She was concerned that her sons would be tools for galactic conquest (as if 21 giant demigods would be doing anything else anytime soon) and automaton-like yes-men (an unfounded concern [[Horus\|based]] [[Jaghatai Khan\|on]] [[Mortarion\|the]] [[Magnus the Red\|lore]]). Erda had to save her kids. But this didn't mean letting Big E raise them to be responsible adults who'd attain eternal lives of glory and luxury (thereby getting the chance to be in their lives).		However, this is where the true Skub begins. While it makes sense that the Emprah had chosen Erda as the Primarch's mom since they're both perpetuals with complementary genetics, Big-E prevented Erda from taking part in their lives so he could prepare them for the upcoming Great Crusade. Like any overbearing mom, this pissed Erda the fuck off. She was concerned that her sons would be tools for galactic conquest (as if 21 giant demigods would be doing anything else anytime soon) and automaton-like yes-men (an unfounded concern [[Horus\|based]] [[Jaghatai Khan\|on]] [[Mortarion\|the]] [[Magnus the Red\|lore]]). Erda had to save her kids. But this didn't mean letting Big E raise them to be responsible adults who'd attain eternal lives of glory and luxury (thereby getting the chance to be in their lives).

174.225.17.7 at 15:19, 3 April 2025

2025-04-03T15:19:41Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:19, 3 April 2025
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	Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.		Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.

	Tl; dr: Authors realizing that the Heresy was a bigger sausage-fest than a hot-dog stand, trying to add a woman in an important role, and utterly failing at it. Not just her, also that scientist “Astarte” who basically supplants the Emperor as the creator of the Space Marines and is retconnee as the entire reason they’re named Astartes in an utterly asinine way. Anyway, it turns out that shoehorning women into key roles in stories and events that are the epitome of masculinity is a bad idea.		Tl; dr: Authors realizing that the Heresy was a bigger sausage-fest than a hot-dog stand, trying to add a woman in an important role, and utterly failing at it. It turns out that shoehorning women into key roles in stories and events that are the epitome of masculinity is a bad idea. Shocking.

	==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==		==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==

174.225.17.7 at 15:18, 3 April 2025

2025-04-03T15:18:47Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:18, 3 April 2025
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	Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.		Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.

	Tl; dr: Authors realizing that the Heresy was a bigger sausage-fest than a hot-dog stand, trying to add a woman in an important role, and utterly failing at it.		Tl; dr: Authors realizing that the Heresy was a bigger sausage-fest than a hot-dog stand, trying to add a woman in an important role, and utterly failing at it. Not just her, also that scientist “Astarte” who basically supplants the Emperor as the creator of the Space Marines and is retconnee as the entire reason they’re named Astartes in an utterly asinine way. Anyway, it turns out that shoehorning women into key roles in stories and events that are the epitome of masculinity is a bad idea.

	==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==		==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==

imported>Administrator: 127 revisions imported

2023-06-21T04:07:28Z

127 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 04:07, 21 June 2023
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imported>Administrator: 1 revision imported

2023-06-18T23:48:59Z

1 revision imported

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2A01:E0A:19C:2BC0:E112:2430:6BF:3171 at 00:35, 9 June 2023

2023-06-09T00:35:06Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:35, 9 June 2023
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	Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.		Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.

			Tl; dr: Authors realizing that the Heresy was a bigger sausage-fest than a hot-dog stand, trying to add a woman in an important role, and utterly failing at it.

	==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==		==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==

2600:387:C:6F32:0:0:0:2: /* Biography AKA The Skubian Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager */

2023-06-09T00:17:09Z

Biography AKA The Skubian Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:17, 9 June 2023
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	Unfortunately for everyone, Erda's way of 'saving' her children [[What\|involved creating a Warp vortex to help the Chaos Gods scatter the Primarchs across the galaxy.]] This is backed by the novels 'Valdor' (residual Chaos energy could be detected in the room) and 'Warhawk' ("the scattering wouldn't have been possible without your [Erda's] intervention," and Erebus makes it very clear that the Chaos Gods are REEEAL glad that she did, but that they apparently aren't sure '''WHY''' she did it). Yes, turns out it wasn't the interference of those [[Chaos Gods\|Warp Goblins]] that scattered the Primarchs, but the action of a woman.		Unfortunately for everyone, Erda's way of 'saving' her children [[What\|involved creating a Warp vortex to help the Chaos Gods scatter the Primarchs across the galaxy.]] This is backed by the novels 'Valdor' (residual Chaos energy could be detected in the room) and 'Warhawk' ("the scattering wouldn't have been possible without your [Erda's] intervention," and Erebus makes it very clear that the Chaos Gods are REEEAL glad that she did, but that they apparently aren't sure '''WHY''' she did it). Yes, turns out it wasn't the interference of those [[Chaos Gods\|Warp Goblins]] that scattered the Primarchs, but the action of a woman.

			Let that sink in. Erda's actions made ''so little sense'' that even the ''chaos gods,'' Khorne, Slaanesh, Tzeentch and Nurgle all together had a collective "What the Fuck?" about what she'd been thinking.

	What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.		What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.

2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:E46D:77BB:EEC1:5E6F at 21:13, 3 June 2023

2023-06-03T21:13:36Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:13, 3 June 2023
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	{{Topquote\|All this over a family squabble.\|The Bullet Farmer, Mad Max: Fury Road}}		{{Topquote\|All this over a family squabble.\|The Bullet Farmer, Mad Max: Fury Road}}

	Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.		Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.

	==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==		==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==
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	For all intents and purposes, as a Perpetual, Erda was one of the oldest living beings in the Imperium. She met the Emprah in [[Terra\|Terra's]] ancient past when he was a warlord king known as [[Conan the Barbarian\|Neoth in the age of the First Cities.]] At that time, the Golden Daddy was already shepherding Mankind into the path that would lead to the creation of the Imperium. Erda grew the hots for him and we can't really fault her for this because any normal women could not resist that guy. I mean, just look at that ''hair'' and those ''pecs''... Aaaannnyway, Erda became one of the Emprah's closest and most loyal advisers and, during the [[Unification Wars]], was his chief geneticist along with Astarte in the creation of the [[Primarch]] project.		For all intents and purposes, as a Perpetual, Erda was one of the oldest living beings in the Imperium. She met the Emprah in [[Terra\|Terra's]] ancient past when he was a warlord king known as [[Conan the Barbarian\|Neoth in the age of the First Cities.]] At that time, the Golden Daddy was already shepherding Mankind into the path that would lead to the creation of the Imperium. Erda grew the hots for him and we can't really fault her for this because any normal women could not resist that guy. I mean, just look at that ''hair'' and those ''pecs''... Aaaannnyway, Erda became one of the Emprah's closest and most loyal advisers and, during the [[Unification Wars]], was his chief geneticist along with Astarte in the creation of the [[Primarch]] project.

	The other perpetuals by this point had pretty much cast out Big E's camp as fringe radicals who were pushing the evolutionary envelope too fast to guide mankind's evolution into a superior species. She was among the last to leave Big E's inner circle, since He was the only one with the power and skill to see visions of what humanity had to do in order to survive. Since the other Perpetuals knew that Humanity didn't have time to naturally evolve due to the various threats ready to end their species (and maybe all of existence), their opposition to Big E's efforts made them stupid at best and evil at worst. More than likely both!		The other perpetuals by this point had pretty much cast out Big E's camp as fringe radicals who were pushing the evolutionary envelope too fast to guide mankind's evolution into a superior species. She was among the last to leave Big E's inner circle, since He was the only one with the power and skill to see visions of what humanity had to do in order to survive. Since the other Perpetuals knew that Humanity didn't have time to naturally evolve due to the various threats ready to end their species (and maybe all of existence), their opposition to Big E's efforts made them stupid at best and evil at worst. More than likely both!

	However, this is where the true Skub begins. While it makes sense that the Emprah had chosen Erda as the Primarch's mom since they're both perpetuals with complementary genetics, Big-E prevented Erda from taking part in their lives so he could prepare them for the upcoming Great Crusade. Like any overbearing mom, this pissed Erda the fuck off. She was concerned that her sons would be tools for galactic conquest (as if 21 giant demigods would be doing anything else anytime soon) and automaton-like yes-men (an unfounded concern [[Horus\|based]] [[Jaghatai Khan\|on]] [[Mortarion\|the]] [[Magnus the Red\|lore]]). Erda had to save her kids. But this didn't mean letting Big E raise them to be responsible adults who'd attain eternal lives of glory and luxury (thereby getting the chance to be in their lives).		However, this is where the true Skub begins. While it makes sense that the Emprah had chosen Erda as the Primarch's mom since they're both perpetuals with complementary genetics, Big-E prevented Erda from taking part in their lives so he could prepare them for the upcoming Great Crusade. Like any overbearing mom, this pissed Erda the fuck off. She was concerned that her sons would be tools for galactic conquest (as if 21 giant demigods would be doing anything else anytime soon) and automaton-like yes-men (an unfounded concern [[Horus\|based]] [[Jaghatai Khan\|on]] [[Mortarion\|the]] [[Magnus the Red\|lore]]). Erda had to save her kids. But this didn't mean letting Big E raise them to be responsible adults who'd attain eternal lives of glory and luxury (thereby getting the chance to be in their lives).

	Unfortunately for everyone, Erda's way of 'saving' her children [[What\|involved creating a Warp vortex to help the Chaos Gods scatter the Primarchs across the galaxy.]] This is backed by the novels 'Valdor' (residual Chaos energy could be detected in the room) and 'Warhawk' ("the scattering wouldn't have been possible without your [Erda's] intervention," and Erebus makes it very clear that the Chaos Gods are REEEAL glad that she did, but that they apparently aren't sure '''WHY''' she did it). Yes, turns out it wasn't the interference of those [[Chaos Gods\|Warp Goblins]] that scattered the Primarchs, but the action of a woman.		Unfortunately for everyone, Erda's way of 'saving' her children [[What\|involved creating a Warp vortex to help the Chaos Gods scatter the Primarchs across the galaxy.]] This is backed by the novels 'Valdor' (residual Chaos energy could be detected in the room) and 'Warhawk' ("the scattering wouldn't have been possible without your [Erda's] intervention," and Erebus makes it very clear that the Chaos Gods are REEEAL glad that she did, but that they apparently aren't sure '''WHY''' she did it). Yes, turns out it wasn't the interference of those [[Chaos Gods\|Warp Goblins]] that scattered the Primarchs, but the action of a woman.

	What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.		What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.

	Her decision-making skills are so shit that the most [[Erebus\|evil]] [[Chaos Gods\|beings]] in existence are both pleased and confused by her actions. Even the Chaos Gods aren't so crazy as a woman refusing to accept she's wrong and that the man in charge isn't evil for giving his kids a luxurious and glorious future. Oh! And then she even has the shitting gall to claim that actually, it wasn't her fault what happened to the primarchs and those that fell to Chaos have only themselves and Big-E to blame. [[meme\|Just like a woman]]... For all that they disagree with [[Emperor\|Daddy]] on many things, [[Konrad_Curze\|Konrad]], [[Angron]], and [[Mortarion]] in particular [[RAGE\|would likely take a rather dim view of that assertion]], along with anyone who values cause and effect or observable reality. Jesus of Christ. Due to this, Erda officially wins the [[EPIC FAIL\|Galaxy's worst Mom award]].		Her decision-making skills are so shit that the most [[Erebus\|evil]] [[Chaos Gods\|beings]] in existence are both pleased and confused by her actions. Even the Chaos Gods aren't so crazy as a woman refusing to accept she's wrong and that the man in charge isn't evil for giving his kids a luxurious and glorious future. Oh! And then she even has the shitting gall to claim that actually, it wasn't her fault what happened to the primarchs and those that fell to Chaos have only themselves and Big-E to blame. [[meme\|Just like a woman]]... For all that they disagree with [[Emperor\|Daddy]] on many things, [[Konrad_Curze\|Konrad]], [[Angron]], and [[Mortarion]] in particular [[RAGE\|would likely take a rather dim view of that assertion]], along with anyone who values cause and effect or observable reality. Jesus of Christ. Due to this, Erda officially wins the [[EPIC FAIL\|Galaxy's worst Mom award]].

	Though she gets a bit of comeuppance when Erebus attacks her with some kind of Psi-mind-rape, and floods her consciousness with the truth of the consequences of her actions, making it very clear to her that this was HER fault. She had just come off an engagement with 4 greater daemons that she killed fairly easily (potentially even True Deaths thanks to Enuncia), but Erebus' attack brought her to her knees as the sheer horror of the truth, it's magnitude, and the consequences of what she'd done were laid bare.		Though she gets a bit of comeuppance when Erebus attacks her with some kind of Psi-mind-rape, and floods her consciousness with the truth of the consequences of her actions, making it very clear to her that this was HER fault. She had just come off an engagement with 4 greater daemons that she killed fairly easily (potentially even True Deaths thanks to Enuncia), but Erebus' attack brought her to her knees as the sheer horror of the truth, it's magnitude, and the consequences of what she'd done were laid bare.

38.81.112.2: /* Biography AKA The Skubian Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager */

2023-05-30T20:24:17Z

Biography AKA The Skubian Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:24, 30 May 2023
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	Proof that Abnett isn’t perfect, if the cabal arc hadn’t already driven that home.		Proof that Abnett isn’t perfect, if the cabal arc hadn’t already driven that home.

	For all intents and purposes, as a Perpetual, Erda was one of the oldest living beings in the Imperium. She met the Emprah in [[Terra\|Terra's]] ancient past when he was a warlord king known as [[Conan the Barbarian\|Neoth in the age of the First Cities.]] At that time, the Golden Daddy was already shepherding Mankind into the path that would lead to the creation of the Imperium. Erda grew the hots for him and we can't really fault her for this because any normal women could not resist that guy. I mean, just look at that ''hair'' and those ''pecs''... ~~Aaaannnyways~~, Erda became one of the Emprah's closest and most loyal advisers and, during the [[Unification Wars]], was his chief geneticist along with Astarte in the creation of the [[Primarch]] project.		For all intents and purposes, as a Perpetual, Erda was one of the oldest living beings in the Imperium. She met the Emprah in [[Terra\|Terra's]] ancient past when he was a warlord king known as [[Conan the Barbarian\|Neoth in the age of the First Cities.]] At that time, the Golden Daddy was already shepherding Mankind into the path that would lead to the creation of the Imperium. Erda grew the hots for him and we can't really fault her for this because any normal women could not resist that guy. I mean, just look at that ''hair'' and those ''pecs''... Aaaannnyway, Erda became one of the Emprah's closest and most loyal advisers and, during the [[Unification Wars]], was his chief geneticist along with Astarte in the creation of the [[Primarch]] project.

	The other perpetuals by this point had pretty much cast out Big E's camp as fringe radicals who were pushing the evolutionary envelope too fast to guide mankind's evolution into a superior species. She was among the last to leave Big E's inner circle, since He was the only one with the power and skill to see visions of what humanity had to do in order to survive. Since the other Perpetuals knew that Humanity didn't have time to naturally evolve due to the various threats ready to end their species (and maybe all of existence), their opposition to Big E's efforts ~~make~~ them ~~retarded~~ at best and evil at worst. More than likely both!		The other perpetuals by this point had pretty much cast out Big E's camp as fringe radicals who were pushing the evolutionary envelope too fast to guide mankind's evolution into a superior species. She was among the last to leave Big E's inner circle, since He was the only one with the power and skill to see visions of what humanity had to do in order to survive. Since the other Perpetuals knew that Humanity didn't have time to naturally evolve due to the various threats ready to end their species (and maybe all of existence), their opposition to Big E's efforts made them stupid at best and evil at worst. More than likely both!

	However, this is where the true Skub begins. While it makes sense that the Emprah ~~has~~ chosen Erda as the Primarch's mom since they're both perpetuals with complementary genetics, Big-E prevented Erda from taking part in their lives so he could prepare them for the upcoming Great Crusade. Like any overbearing mom, this pissed Erda the fuck off. She was concerned that her sons would be tools for galactic conquest (as if 20 giant demigods would be doing anything else anytime soon) and automaton-like yes-men (an unfounded concern [[Horus\|based]] [[Jaghatai Khan\|on]] [[Mortarion\|the]] [[Magnus the Red\|lore]]). Erda had to save her kids. But this didn't mean letting Big E raise them to be responsible adults who'd attain eternal lives of glory and luxury (thereby getting the chance to be in their lives).		However, this is where the true Skub begins. While it makes sense that the Emprah had chosen Erda as the Primarch's mom since they're both perpetuals with complementary genetics, Big-E prevented Erda from taking part in their lives so he could prepare them for the upcoming Great Crusade. Like any overbearing mom, this pissed Erda the fuck off. She was concerned that her sons would be tools for galactic conquest (as if 21 giant demigods would be doing anything else anytime soon) and automaton-like yes-men (an unfounded concern [[Horus\|based]] [[Jaghatai Khan\|on]] [[Mortarion\|the]] [[Magnus the Red\|lore]]). Erda had to save her kids. But this didn't mean letting Big E raise them to be responsible adults who'd attain eternal lives of glory and luxury (thereby getting the chance to be in their lives).

			Unfortunately for everyone, Erda's way of 'saving' her children [[What\|involved creating a Warp vortex to help the Chaos Gods scatter the Primarchs across the galaxy.]] This is backed by the novels 'Valdor' (residual Chaos energy could be detected in the room) and 'Warhawk' ("the scattering wouldn't have been possible without your [Erda's] intervention," and Erebus makes it very clear that the Chaos Gods are REEEAL glad that she did, but that they apparently aren't sure '''WHY''' she did it). Yes, turns out it wasn't the interference of those [[Chaos Gods\|Warp Goblins]] that scattered the Primarchs, but the action of a woman.
	Unfortunately for everyone, Erda's way of 'saving' her children [[What\|involved creating a Warp vortex to help the Chaos Gods to scatter the Primarchs across the galaxy.]] This is backed by the novels 'Valdor' (residual Chaos energy could be detected in the room) and 'Warhawk' ("the scattering wouldn't have been possible without your [Erda's] intervention," and Erebus makes it very clear that the Chaos Gods are REEEAL glad that she did, but that they apparently aren't sure '''WHY''' she did it). Yes, turns out it wasn't the interference of those [[Chaos Gods\|Warp Goblins]] that scattered the Primarchs, but the action of a woman.

	What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.		What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.

2603:3003:1E00:AC00:A9A3:F1AF:AFB5:FF0E: /* Biography AKA The Skubian Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager */

2023-04-30T19:42:43Z

Biography AKA The Skubian Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:42, 30 April 2023
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	What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.		What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.






	Her decision-making skills are so shit that the most [[Erebus\|evil]] [[Chaos Gods\|beings]] in existence are both pleased and confused by her actions. Even the Chaos Gods aren't so crazy as a woman refusing to accept she's wrong and that the man in charge isn't evil for giving his kids a luxurious and glorious future. Oh! And then she even has the shitting gall to claim that actually, it wasn't her fault what happened to the primarchs and those that fell to Chaos have only themselves and Big-E to blame. [[meme\|Just like a woman]]... For all that they disagree with [[Emperor\|Daddy]] on many things, [[Konrad_Curze\|Konrad]], [[Angron]], and [[Mortarion]] in particular [[RAGE\|would likely take a rather dim view of that assertion]], along with anyone who values cause and effect or observable reality. Jesus of Christ. Due to this, Erda officially wins the [[EPIC FAIL\|Galaxy's worst Mom award]].		Her decision-making skills are so shit that the most [[Erebus\|evil]] [[Chaos Gods\|beings]] in existence are both pleased and confused by her actions. Even the Chaos Gods aren't so crazy as a woman refusing to accept she's wrong and that the man in charge isn't evil for giving his kids a luxurious and glorious future. Oh! And then she even has the shitting gall to claim that actually, it wasn't her fault what happened to the primarchs and those that fell to Chaos have only themselves and Big-E to blame. [[meme\|Just like a woman]]... For all that they disagree with [[Emperor\|Daddy]] on many things, [[Konrad_Curze\|Konrad]], [[Angron]], and [[Mortarion]] in particular [[RAGE\|would likely take a rather dim view of that assertion]], along with anyone who values cause and effect or observable reality. Jesus of Christ. Due to this, Erda officially wins the [[EPIC FAIL\|Galaxy's worst Mom award]].
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	She was eventually visited by [[John Grammaticus]] doing his best Nathan Drake impression. Grammaticus sought Erda's help in getting into the Imperial Palace and had also arranged to rendezvous with [[Ollanius Pius\|Oll Persson]] at her home. Erda was shocked to hear that Oll had become involved in the affairs of the Human race again, and expressed worry over his fate when he did not arrive. Though sympathetic to John's cause she ultimately said she had no way to help him enter the Palace due to, you know, a [[Emperor of Mankind\|certain couple's quarrel.]] In Warhawk, Erebus visits her to convince her to join Chaos because of...[[Derp\|reasons]]. Seriously, Erebus just...appears out of nowhere. How that [[Dick]] knew about Erda or why he was even remotely interested in that dumb broad, we have no clue. Predictably, she says no and gets jumped by 4 Greater Daemons and wins due to [[Mary Sue\|super-special-psychic-mumbo-jumbo]][[Games Workshop\|™]] [[Bullshit]] and/or utilizing Enuncia (specifically, she transformed into a [[Blood Ravens\|knockoff]] of the Wiccan Triple Goddess), but was severely wounded in the process by Erebus. He tells her again but this time, to worship him if she wants to live. She spits at him, which predictably leads to Erebus poking her face with the Athame, killing her...sort of, it cuts off before the finishing blow. Overall, pretty fucking lame way to go on [[Fail\|both parties,]] both from Erebus thinking a [[Derp\|48,000 year old Karen would help in anyway to the Heresy]] and for Erda in getting [[Herp\|punt to the face.]] So yeah, Erda came and went, which again asks the question on what was the point of her existence if you give her less screen time than fucking [[EPIC FAIL\|''Calliphone''!?]]		She was eventually visited by [[John Grammaticus]] doing his best Nathan Drake impression. Grammaticus sought Erda's help in getting into the Imperial Palace and had also arranged to rendezvous with [[Ollanius Pius\|Oll Persson]] at her home. Erda was shocked to hear that Oll had become involved in the affairs of the Human race again, and expressed worry over his fate when he did not arrive. Though sympathetic to John's cause she ultimately said she had no way to help him enter the Palace due to, you know, a [[Emperor of Mankind\|certain couple's quarrel.]] In Warhawk, Erebus visits her to convince her to join Chaos because of...[[Derp\|reasons]]. Seriously, Erebus just...appears out of nowhere. How that [[Dick]] knew about Erda or why he was even remotely interested in that dumb broad, we have no clue. Predictably, she says no and gets jumped by 4 Greater Daemons and wins due to [[Mary Sue\|super-special-psychic-mumbo-jumbo]][[Games Workshop\|™]] [[Bullshit]] and/or utilizing Enuncia (specifically, she transformed into a [[Blood Ravens\|knockoff]] of the Wiccan Triple Goddess), but was severely wounded in the process by Erebus. He tells her again but this time, to worship him if she wants to live. She spits at him, which predictably leads to Erebus poking her face with the Athame, killing her...sort of, it cuts off before the finishing blow. Overall, pretty fucking lame way to go on [[Fail\|both parties,]] both from Erebus thinking a [[Derp\|48,000 year old Karen would help in anyway to the Heresy]] and for Erda in getting [[Herp\|punt to the face.]] So yeah, Erda came and went, which again asks the question on what was the point of her existence if you give her less screen time than fucking [[EPIC FAIL\|''Calliphone''!?]]

	Thank you [[~~Dan Abnett\|~~Dan Abnett]], for this [[C.S. Goto\|fine addition to the established story.]] Why [[Chris Wraight]] was allowed to kill her off we can only guess. Though at least 99.95% of the fandom are hoping her death sticks. Unfortunately, that might prove unlikely since truly killing a perpetual makes truly killing a daemon look like a mundane task, and Erebus only used his athame; and while ordinarily a formidable pokey-stick, multiple previous books in the Horus Heresy have pretty firmly established that (unless your name is Magnus or you're Big-E himself) to permakill a Perpetual requires fulgurite. Indeed, one book in particular, ''Old Earth'', has an entire B-Plot about this very topic, and suffice it to say that if it had been as simple as acquiring an athame, that would have been a much shorter book. Nor indeed would this be the first time Erebus prematurely declared victory. Add to that, there's also the unfortunate aside that Erebus apparently "killed" her offscreen, which is so often a narrative copout (and a blatant one at that) to provide an opening for an easy possible return at some point later on in the future of the story. BUT even if she doesn't stay dead, there's NO need to show the readers that. If nothing else, it provides an out. Thank fuck. Say that she got wounded enough to also be interned like the Emperor and she directs some esoteric function personally or something and leave it at that. On the other-hand, the athame is a Nurgle artifact and so perhaps could rot her soul or cause an injury her power can't heal, leaving her unconscious and plagued by the horror of the future that is entirely her fault for being a self-righteous bitch... Though considering fucking Guilliman was able to just shrug off an athame wound at the [[Battle of Calth]], that might be a long shot. Erda's a little bit like Spock's half brother Sybok from Star Trek V; it happened, it's canon, but it's so outrageously stupid that everyone just pretends like it never happened. The only good reason to bring her back would be to have her to run into some sort of Konrad Curze ghost or Warp manifestation and have him do his usual thing...		Thank you [[Dan Abnett]], for this [[C.S. Goto\|fine addition to the established story.]] Why [[Chris Wraight]] was allowed to kill her off we can only guess. Though at least 99.95% of the fandom are hoping her death sticks. Unfortunately, that might prove unlikely since truly killing a perpetual makes truly killing a daemon look like a mundane task, and Erebus only used his athame; and while ordinarily a formidable pokey-stick, multiple previous books in the Horus Heresy have pretty firmly established that (unless your name is Magnus or you're Big-E himself) to permakill a Perpetual requires fulgurite. Indeed, one book in particular, ''Old Earth'', has an entire B-Plot about this very topic, and suffice it to say that if it had been as simple as acquiring an athame, that would have been a much shorter book. Nor indeed would this be the first time Erebus prematurely declared victory. Add to that, there's also the unfortunate aside that Erebus apparently "killed" her offscreen, which is so often a narrative copout (and a blatant one at that) to provide an opening for an easy possible return at some point later on in the future of the story. BUT even if she doesn't stay dead, there's NO need to show the readers that. If nothing else, it provides an out. Thank fuck. Say that she got wounded enough to also be interned like the Emperor and she directs some esoteric function personally or something and leave it at that. On the other-hand, the athame is a Nurgle artifact and so perhaps could rot her soul or cause an injury her power can't heal, leaving her unconscious and plagued by the horror of the future that is entirely her fault for being a self-righteous bitch... Though considering fucking Guilliman was able to just shrug off an athame wound at the [[Battle of Calth]], that might be a long shot. Erda's a little bit like Spock's half brother Sybok from Star Trek V; it happened, it's canon, but it's so outrageously stupid that everyone just pretends like it never happened. The only good reason to bring her back would be to have her to run into some sort of Konrad Curze ghost or Warp manifestation and have him do his usual thing...

	Her addition is stupid, still one can see why Erebus would want someone linked to the Astartes and Primarch projects to help boost either production or quality of marines once the siege is over. Anyway she'll come back in a stupid ritual using her symbolic connection to attack/corrupt either the Emperor or the loyal Primarchs only for that loyalist Wordbearer with the fulgurite to use it to kill her for good instead of assassinating Lorgar.		Her addition is stupid, still one can see why Erebus would want someone linked to the Astartes and Primarch projects to help boost either production or quality of marines once the siege is over. Anyway she'll come back in a stupid ritual using her symbolic connection to attack/corrupt either the Emperor or the loyal Primarchs only for that loyalist Wordbearer with the fulgurite to use it to kill her for good instead of assassinating Lorgar.

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:13, 3 June 2023
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	{{Topquote\|All this over a family squabble.\|The Bullet Farmer, Mad Max: Fury Road}}		{{Topquote\|All this over a family squabble.\|The Bullet Farmer, Mad Max: Fury Road}}

	Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.		Woo boy! Where do we begin. First appearing in the Horus Heresy novel: Saturnine (<s>an overall good novel</s> <s>not really</s> [[TTS\|'''I gave it a 5/10 It was OK review''']]), '''Erda''' (Old High German for Earth. Get it? [[Derp\|''Mother Earth'']]...) is a [[Perpetual]] who used to be one of the [[Emprah]]'s most closest allies/fuckbuddy. Some [[Heresy\|Heretics]] even believe that she was Big E's first and only girlfriend/waifu/onahole/babyfactory throughout the aeons. Whether or not E-Money actually [[/d/\|''fertilised'' Mother Earth]] with his [[Dick\|big, throbbing Power Sword,]] we have no idea, but we do know that Erda would have had the Galaxy's strongest ovaries to handle the genetic makeup of Big E's manly bits. DUN DUN DUN! Yes, Erda is the [[Primarch\|Primarch's]] mummy, not sure how [[Roboute Guilliman\|Big Bobby G's]] foster mom, [[Tarasha Euten]], is gonna feel about this. Maybe we can get them on Jeremy Kyle?! In all honesty, as one mother to another, she'd probably just rip Erda a new one for being the worst parent in the history of parents.

	==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==		==Biography AKA The [[Skub\|Skubian]] Heresy: Erda would like to Speak to your Manager==
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	For all intents and purposes, as a Perpetual, Erda was one of the oldest living beings in the Imperium. She met the Emprah in [[Terra\|Terra's]] ancient past when he was a warlord king known as [[Conan the Barbarian\|Neoth in the age of the First Cities.]] At that time, the Golden Daddy was already shepherding Mankind into the path that would lead to the creation of the Imperium. Erda grew the hots for him and we can't really fault her for this because any normal women could not resist that guy. I mean, just look at that ''hair'' and those ''pecs''... Aaaannnyway, Erda became one of the Emprah's closest and most loyal advisers and, during the [[Unification Wars]], was his chief geneticist along with Astarte in the creation of the [[Primarch]] project.		For all intents and purposes, as a Perpetual, Erda was one of the oldest living beings in the Imperium. She met the Emprah in [[Terra\|Terra's]] ancient past when he was a warlord king known as [[Conan the Barbarian\|Neoth in the age of the First Cities.]] At that time, the Golden Daddy was already shepherding Mankind into the path that would lead to the creation of the Imperium. Erda grew the hots for him and we can't really fault her for this because any normal women could not resist that guy. I mean, just look at that ''hair'' and those ''pecs''... Aaaannnyway, Erda became one of the Emprah's closest and most loyal advisers and, during the [[Unification Wars]], was his chief geneticist along with Astarte in the creation of the [[Primarch]] project.

	The other perpetuals by this point had pretty much cast out Big E's camp as fringe radicals who were pushing the evolutionary envelope too fast to guide mankind's evolution into a superior species. She was among the last to leave Big E's inner circle, since He was the only one with the power and skill to see visions of what humanity had to do in order to survive. Since the other Perpetuals knew that Humanity didn't have time to naturally evolve due to the various threats ready to end their species (and maybe all of existence), their opposition to Big E's efforts made them stupid at best and evil at worst. More than likely both!		The other perpetuals by this point had pretty much cast out Big E's camp as fringe radicals who were pushing the evolutionary envelope too fast to guide mankind's evolution into a superior species. She was among the last to leave Big E's inner circle, since He was the only one with the power and skill to see visions of what humanity had to do in order to survive. Since the other Perpetuals knew that Humanity didn't have time to naturally evolve due to the various threats ready to end their species (and maybe all of existence), their opposition to Big E's efforts made them stupid at best and evil at worst. More than likely both!

	However, this is where the true Skub begins. While it makes sense that the Emprah had chosen Erda as the Primarch's mom since they're both perpetuals with complementary genetics, Big-E prevented Erda from taking part in their lives so he could prepare them for the upcoming Great Crusade. Like any overbearing mom, this pissed Erda the fuck off. She was concerned that her sons would be tools for galactic conquest (as if 21 giant demigods would be doing anything else anytime soon) and automaton-like yes-men (an unfounded concern [[Horus\|based]] [[Jaghatai Khan\|on]] [[Mortarion\|the]] [[Magnus the Red\|lore]]). Erda had to save her kids. But this didn't mean letting Big E raise them to be responsible adults who'd attain eternal lives of glory and luxury (thereby getting the chance to be in their lives).		However, this is where the true Skub begins. While it makes sense that the Emprah had chosen Erda as the Primarch's mom since they're both perpetuals with complementary genetics, Big-E prevented Erda from taking part in their lives so he could prepare them for the upcoming Great Crusade. Like any overbearing mom, this pissed Erda the fuck off. She was concerned that her sons would be tools for galactic conquest (as if 21 giant demigods would be doing anything else anytime soon) and automaton-like yes-men (an unfounded concern [[Horus\|based]] [[Jaghatai Khan\|on]] [[Mortarion\|the]] [[Magnus the Red\|lore]]). Erda had to save her kids. But this didn't mean letting Big E raise them to be responsible adults who'd attain eternal lives of glory and luxury (thereby getting the chance to be in their lives).

	Unfortunately for everyone, Erda's way of 'saving' her children [[What\|involved creating a Warp vortex to help the Chaos Gods scatter the Primarchs across the galaxy.]] This is backed by the novels 'Valdor' (residual Chaos energy could be detected in the room) and 'Warhawk' ("the scattering wouldn't have been possible without your [Erda's] intervention," and Erebus makes it very clear that the Chaos Gods are REEEAL glad that she did, but that they apparently aren't sure '''WHY''' she did it). Yes, turns out it wasn't the interference of those [[Chaos Gods\|Warp Goblins]] that scattered the Primarchs, but the action of a woman.		Unfortunately for everyone, Erda's way of 'saving' her children [[What\|involved creating a Warp vortex to help the Chaos Gods scatter the Primarchs across the galaxy.]] This is backed by the novels 'Valdor' (residual Chaos energy could be detected in the room) and 'Warhawk' ("the scattering wouldn't have been possible without your [Erda's] intervention," and Erebus makes it very clear that the Chaos Gods are REEEAL glad that she did, but that they apparently aren't sure '''WHY''' she did it). Yes, turns out it wasn't the interference of those [[Chaos Gods\|Warp Goblins]] that scattered the Primarchs, but the action of a woman.

	What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.		What Horus and Argel Tal were shown in the Warp by the Ruinous Powers and [[daemon]]s respectively is a lie. Rather than [[Erebus\|this fuckhead]] ruining everything, humanity was doomed and its future was stolen by a [[-4 Str\|woman,]] [[Religion\|again.]] [[FAIL\|It was an act of such idiocy and lunacy that by 'saving' the Primarchs from the Emprah,]] [[Leman Russ\|it]] [[Lion El'Jonson\|condemned]] [[Angron\|some]] [[Ferrus Manus\|of]] [[Corvus Corax\|them]] [[Konrad Curze\|to a]] [[Lorgar\|childhood]] [[Mortarion\|worse than death.]] One wonders how they'd react to [[RAGE\|''this'']] [[RIP AND TEAR\|revelation]]. Her cooperation with The Four to scatter her children makes her actions vastly more heinous, seeing as she knew enough about Chaos to understand its corrupting nature.

	Her decision-making skills are so shit that the most [[Erebus\|evil]] [[Chaos Gods\|beings]] in existence are both pleased and confused by her actions. Even the Chaos Gods aren't so crazy as a woman refusing to accept she's wrong and that the man in charge isn't evil for giving his kids a luxurious and glorious future. Oh! And then she even has the shitting gall to claim that actually, it wasn't her fault what happened to the primarchs and those that fell to Chaos have only themselves and Big-E to blame. [[meme\|Just like a woman]]... For all that they disagree with [[Emperor\|Daddy]] on many things, [[Konrad_Curze\|Konrad]], [[Angron]], and [[Mortarion]] in particular [[RAGE\|would likely take a rather dim view of that assertion]], along with anyone who values cause and effect or observable reality. Jesus of Christ. Due to this, Erda officially wins the [[EPIC FAIL\|Galaxy's worst Mom award]].		Her decision-making skills are so shit that the most [[Erebus\|evil]] [[Chaos Gods\|beings]] in existence are both pleased and confused by her actions. Even the Chaos Gods aren't so crazy as a woman refusing to accept she's wrong and that the man in charge isn't evil for giving his kids a luxurious and glorious future. Oh! And then she even has the shitting gall to claim that actually, it wasn't her fault what happened to the primarchs and those that fell to Chaos have only themselves and Big-E to blame. [[meme\|Just like a woman]]... For all that they disagree with [[Emperor\|Daddy]] on many things, [[Konrad_Curze\|Konrad]], [[Angron]], and [[Mortarion]] in particular [[RAGE\|would likely take a rather dim view of that assertion]], along with anyone who values cause and effect or observable reality. Jesus of Christ. Due to this, Erda officially wins the [[EPIC FAIL\|Galaxy's worst Mom award]].

	Though she gets a bit of comeuppance when Erebus attacks her with some kind of Psi-mind-rape, and floods her consciousness with the truth of the consequences of her actions, making it very clear to her that this was HER fault. She had just come off an engagement with 4 greater daemons that she killed fairly easily (potentially even True Deaths thanks to Enuncia), but Erebus' attack brought her to her knees as the sheer horror of the truth, it's magnitude, and the consequences of what she'd done were laid bare.		Though she gets a bit of comeuppance when Erebus attacks her with some kind of Psi-mind-rape, and floods her consciousness with the truth of the consequences of her actions, making it very clear to her that this was HER fault. She had just come off an engagement with 4 greater daemons that she killed fairly easily (potentially even True Deaths thanks to Enuncia), but Erebus' attack brought her to her knees as the sheer horror of the truth, it's magnitude, and the consequences of what she'd done were laid bare.