Fantasy Armor - Revision history

94.142.241.194: No to this edit. We keep 2d4 pure

2026-10-17T14:54:56Z

No to this edit. We keep 2d4 pure

23.165.8.184: Undo revision 1018636 by 192.42.116.105 (talk)

2026-10-17T02:50:12Z

Undo revision 1018636 by 192.42.116.105 (talk)

192.42.116.105: Previous version was better - revert. Keep 2d4 pure

2026-10-16T11:40:44Z

Previous version was better - revert. Keep 2d4 pure

204.8.96.81: /* Gallery */

2026-10-15T15:07:41Z

Gallery

192.42.116.20: /* Gallery */

2026-10-15T14:47:40Z

Gallery

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:47, 15 October 2026
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	<center><gallery>		<center><gallery>
	~~File:Skelerotic Warrior.png\|It separates, AND supports!~~
	File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.		File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.
	File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.		File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.
	File:Glamour armor.jpg\| Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.		File:Glamour armor.jpg\|Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.
	File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.		File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.
	File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.		File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.

73.69.193.6: Undo revision 1008578 by 94.142.244.16 (talk)

2026-03-26T17:26:21Z

Undo revision 1008578 by 94.142.244.16 (talk)

Show changes

94.142.244.16: Blanked the page

2026-02-16T09:01:07Z

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Sdhjk at 19:08, 18 July 2025

2025-07-18T19:08:43Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:08, 18 July 2025
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	===Living Fortress===		===Living Fortress===
	The character is so excessively armored with large pieces of armor that you must wonder how they can even walk unassisted without falling over. Usually done to give characters a stoic and/or intimidating look. Issues such as avoiding heatstroke and being unable to use a toilet in that armor are usually sidestepped in fiction, but then those issues are [[Magical Realm\|almost]] never addressed in fiction anyway. In real-life these drawbacks were trade offs for the protection the armor offered, and the armor itself can't be put on or removed by the person wearing it without someone else helping - in practice it's usually one of the jobs of a squire. To avoid heatstroke, the wearer had to drink and minimize activity where possible, and as for the toilet problem since the armor can't be properly removed without help, there was a flap at the back - otherwise the squire would have to clean it afterwards.		The character is so excessively armored with large pieces of armor that you must wonder how they can even walk unassisted without falling over. Usually done to give characters a stoic and/or intimidating look. Issues such as avoiding heatstroke and being unable to use a toilet in that armor are usually sidestepped in fiction, but then those issues are [[Magical Realm\|almost]] never addressed in fiction anyway. In real-life these drawbacks were trade offs for the protection the armor offered, and the armor itself can't be put on or removed by the person wearing it without someone else helping - in practice it's usually one of the jobs of a squire. To avoid heatstroke, the wearer had to drink and minimize activity where possible, and as for the toilet problem since the armor can't be properly removed without help, there was a flap at the back - otherwise the squire would have to clean it afterwards. Additionally, in [[Urban Fantasy\|modern]] or [[Soft Science Fiction\|futuristic fantasy]] settings, diapers can be used to mitigate toilet problem when wearing armor non-stop for long time (e.g. wearing sealed/vacuum-proof armor in hostile atmosphere, for multiple days straight).

	===Bare Minimum===		===Bare Minimum===
Line 67:		Line 67:
	== The Warhammer Line ==		== The Warhammer Line ==

	As a side note, if your armor is as or more ridiculous than Warhammer's (either [[Warhammer 40,000\|40k]] or [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle\|Fantasy]]), expect to be mocked. Yes, this means you, generic anime-inspired MMORPG, and you, [[That Guy]] who uses a screenshot from said MMORPG as his character portrait.		As a side note, if your armor is as or more ridiculous than Warhammer's (either [[Warhammer 40,000\|40k]] or [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle\|Fantasy]]) and if it isn't a parody work, expect to be mocked. Yes, this means you, generic anime-inspired MMORPG, and you, [[That Guy]] who uses a screenshot from said MMORPG as his character portrait.

	==Videos==		==Videos==
Line 89:		Line 89:
	File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.		File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.
	File:Glamour armor.jpg\| Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.		File:Glamour armor.jpg\| Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.
			File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.
	File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.		File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.
	</gallery></center>		</gallery></center>

imported>Administrator: 283 revisions imported

2023-06-21T04:24:36Z

283 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 04:24, 21 June 2023
(No difference)

imported>Administrator: 1 revision imported

2023-06-18T23:52:09Z

1 revision imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 23:52, 18 June 2023
(No difference)

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:47, 15 October 2026
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	<center><gallery>		<center><gallery>
	~~File:Skelerotic Warrior.png\|It separates, AND supports!~~
	File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.		File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.
	File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.		File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.
	File:Glamour armor.jpg\| Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.		File:Glamour armor.jpg\|Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.
	File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.		File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.
	File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.		File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:54, 17 October 2026
Line 38:		Line 38:
	Fantasy armor frequently ignores such considerations as "weight", "flexibility", "range of motion", "chafing", "padding", and "comfort", among other considerations, with exceptions being people who wear armor that shows a lot of skin (which sorta defeats the point of armor, but there you go) or where magic compensates for ergonomics or function (e.g.; a metal bikini enchanted to protect its wearer). This is also ignoring the tendency for almost everybody to walk around without any kind of helmet.		Fantasy armor frequently ignores such considerations as "weight", "flexibility", "range of motion", "chafing", "padding", and "comfort", among other considerations, with exceptions being people who wear armor that shows a lot of skin (which sorta defeats the point of armor, but there you go) or where magic compensates for ergonomics or function (e.g.; a metal bikini enchanted to protect its wearer). This is also ignoring the tendency for almost everybody to walk around without any kind of helmet.

	== ~~Chainmail Bikinis~~ ==		== The Main Source of Skub ==
	{{skubby}}		{{skubby}}

	~~This~~ is the main source of [[skub]] when armor is discussed~~, and the beating of this poor dead horse of a joke would cause great delight in some evil entities~~. Three points are probably indisputable:		Female armor is the main source of [[skub]] when armor is discussed. Three points are probably indisputable:

	# The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.		# The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.
Line 50:		Line 50:
	* [[Derp\|Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable.]] [[Irony\|Which three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.]]		* [[Derp\|Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable.]] [[Irony\|Which three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.]]

	For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. [[rollplaying\|rollplayer]] you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location~~. And for the roleplayer~~, ~~this can be excused~~ where ~~a force of~~ supernatural power - the ~~magic~~ meat and potatoes of ~~high~~ fantasy settings - is protecting the wearer regardless of exposed skin is involved. Otherwise, you also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate ~~and your average internet user does not compare favorably to Homer or even Diogenes~~.		For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. [[rollplaying\|rollplayer]] you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location, especially where supernatural power - the meat and potatoes of fantasy settings - protecting the wearer regardless of exposed skin is involved. Otherwise, you also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate.

	Further for point five... specialized armor for women is a thing, even in modern times for multiple military forces. This is something this ~~Troper~~'s sisters in arms expressed a great deal of desire for back in the day, and his current coworkers express a great deal of gratitude for now. ~~(Though going by the rates of female 'combatants' getting pregnant while on base or deployment, one has to imagine that they don't need the help.)~~		Further for point five... specialized armor for women is a thing, even in modern times for multiple military forces. This is something this Anon's sisters in arms expressed a great deal of desire for back in the day, and his current coworkers express a great deal of gratitude for now.

	Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but a sea of bullshit, maybe a few well-meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions~~, and a tide of busy-bodies trying to make sure that '''you''', yes you, reader, feel bad for enjoying some tasty cheesecake~~.		Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but a sea of bullshit, and maybe a few well-meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions.

	==="Breast"plate a.k.a. "Boobplate"===		==="Breast"plate a.k.a. "Boobplate"===
	A somewhat specific case of "Female Armor skub" is a breastplate that has boobs on it, for use by female users who want to advertise their femaleness~~, or by illustrators and writers that had Faux-nan tear a bear apart with his bare hands and decided that they may as well roll with the fantasy~~. There are a metric shitload of arguments centering around just this one specific variant of fantasy armor; the main somewhat objective complaint being that most such designs create an ~~supposed~~ weakness in the armor: you create an inward curve to drive the blow '''towards''' the center of the wearer's chest, rather than an outward curve which drives the blow '''away''' from the center of the chest. But from there, we rapidly enter the sea of skub and bullshit, without even the thin veneer of the "Best Practices" suggestions.		A somewhat specific case of "Female Armor skub" is a breastplate that has boobs on it, for use by female users who want to advertise their femaleness. There are a metric shitload of arguments centering around just this one specific variant of fantasy armor; the main somewhat objective complaint being that most such designs create an obvious weakness in the armor: you create an inward curve to drive the blow '''towards''' the center of the wearer's chest, rather than an outward curve which drives the blow '''away''' from the center of the chest. But from there, we rapidly enter the sea of skub and bullshit, without even the thin veneer of the "Best Practices" suggestions.

	== A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor ==		== A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor ==
Line 71:		Line 71:
	==Videos==		==Videos==

	Unsurprisingly the skub extends to youtube. Shadiversity, a historian, author, and HEMA practitioner ~~(who is obviously out of practice judging by how he fills out his robes)~~ has a couple extensive videos on the subject. On the subject of armor click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBtvS5yhTA8 here] for the general discussion, and [https://www.youtube.com/embed/6KHz0qWQA9I here] for the specific discussion on if boob plate's dangerous. Then click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Iw_RD_h6bc here] for the more general, but related subject of the Fantasy barbarian.		Unsurprisingly the skub extends to youtube. Shadiversity, a historian, author, and HEMA practitioner has a couple extensive videos on the subject. On the subject of armor click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBtvS5yhTA8 here] for the general discussion, and [https://www.youtube.com/embed/6KHz0qWQA9I here] for the specific discussion on if boob plate's dangerous. Then click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Iw_RD_h6bc here] for the more general, but related subject of the Fantasy barbarian.

	There's numerous responses from other channels like Skallagrim ~~(who is the opposite of Shad in both thought and form, looking like a light breeze could snap him in half)~~, commentaries from Schola Gladiatoria and other detailed videos from Shad and others ranging from focusing on the chain mail bikini itself to the more general topic of the fantasy Conan style Barbarian~~, and generally making a great effort at taking the fun out of the whole thing~~. This goes all the way up to scifi boob plate of the far future... not quite [[Sisters of Battle\|40k]] to my knowledge. Yet. But people have brought similar kit up.		There's numerous responses from other excellent channels like Skallagrim, commentaries from Schola Gladiatoria and other detailed videos from Shad and others ranging from focusing on the chain mail bikini itself to the more general topic of the fantasy Conan style Barbarian. This goes all the way up to scifi boob plate of the far future... not quite [[Sisters of Battle\|40k]] to my knowledge. Yet. But people have brought similar kit up.

	==See Also==		==See Also==
Line 85:		Line 85:

	<center><gallery>		<center><gallery>
			File:Skelerotic Warrior.png\|It separates, AND supports!
	File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.		File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.
	File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.		File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.
	File:Glamour armor.jpg\|Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.		File:Glamour armor.jpg\| Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.
	File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.		File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.
	File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.		File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:50, 17 October 2026
Line 38:		Line 38:
	Fantasy armor frequently ignores such considerations as "weight", "flexibility", "range of motion", "chafing", "padding", and "comfort", among other considerations, with exceptions being people who wear armor that shows a lot of skin (which sorta defeats the point of armor, but there you go) or where magic compensates for ergonomics or function (e.g.; a metal bikini enchanted to protect its wearer). This is also ignoring the tendency for almost everybody to walk around without any kind of helmet.		Fantasy armor frequently ignores such considerations as "weight", "flexibility", "range of motion", "chafing", "padding", and "comfort", among other considerations, with exceptions being people who wear armor that shows a lot of skin (which sorta defeats the point of armor, but there you go) or where magic compensates for ergonomics or function (e.g.; a metal bikini enchanted to protect its wearer). This is also ignoring the tendency for almost everybody to walk around without any kind of helmet.

	== ~~The Main Source of Skub~~ ==		== Chainmail Bikinis ==
	{{skubby}}		{{skubby}}

	~~Female armor~~ is the main source of [[skub]] when armor is discussed. Three points are probably indisputable:		This is the main source of [[skub]] when armor is discussed, and the beating of this poor dead horse of a joke would cause great delight in some evil entities. Three points are probably indisputable:

	# The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.		# The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.
Line 50:		Line 50:
	* [[Derp\|Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable.]] [[Irony\|Which three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.]]		* [[Derp\|Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable.]] [[Irony\|Which three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.]]

	For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. [[rollplaying\|rollplayer]] you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location, ~~especially~~ where supernatural power - the meat and potatoes of fantasy settings - protecting the wearer regardless of exposed skin is involved. Otherwise, you also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate.		For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. [[rollplaying\|rollplayer]] you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location. And for the roleplayer, this can be excused where a force of supernatural power - the magic meat and potatoes of high fantasy settings - is protecting the wearer regardless of exposed skin is involved. Otherwise, you also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate and your average internet user does not compare favorably to Homer or even Diogenes.

	Further for point five... specialized armor for women is a thing, even in modern times for multiple military forces. This is something this ~~Anon~~'s sisters in arms expressed a great deal of desire for back in the day, and his current coworkers express a great deal of gratitude for now.		Further for point five... specialized armor for women is a thing, even in modern times for multiple military forces. This is something this Troper's sisters in arms expressed a great deal of desire for back in the day, and his current coworkers express a great deal of gratitude for now. (Though going by the rates of female 'combatants' getting pregnant while on base or deployment, one has to imagine that they don't need the help.)

	Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but a sea of bullshit, ~~and~~ maybe a few well-meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions.		Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but a sea of bullshit, maybe a few well-meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions, and a tide of busy-bodies trying to make sure that '''you''', yes you, reader, feel bad for enjoying some tasty cheesecake.

	==="Breast"plate a.k.a. "Boobplate"===		==="Breast"plate a.k.a. "Boobplate"===
	A somewhat specific case of "Female Armor skub" is a breastplate that has boobs on it, for use by female users who want to advertise their femaleness. There are a metric shitload of arguments centering around just this one specific variant of fantasy armor; the main somewhat objective complaint being that most such designs create an ~~obvious~~ weakness in the armor: you create an inward curve to drive the blow '''towards''' the center of the wearer's chest, rather than an outward curve which drives the blow '''away''' from the center of the chest. But from there, we rapidly enter the sea of skub and bullshit, without even the thin veneer of the "Best Practices" suggestions.		A somewhat specific case of "Female Armor skub" is a breastplate that has boobs on it, for use by female users who want to advertise their femaleness, or by illustrators and writers that had Faux-nan tear a bear apart with his bare hands and decided that they may as well roll with the fantasy. There are a metric shitload of arguments centering around just this one specific variant of fantasy armor; the main somewhat objective complaint being that most such designs create an supposed weakness in the armor: you create an inward curve to drive the blow '''towards''' the center of the wearer's chest, rather than an outward curve which drives the blow '''away''' from the center of the chest. But from there, we rapidly enter the sea of skub and bullshit, without even the thin veneer of the "Best Practices" suggestions.

	== A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor ==		== A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor ==
Line 71:		Line 71:
	==Videos==		==Videos==

	Unsurprisingly the skub extends to youtube. Shadiversity, a historian, author, and HEMA practitioner has a couple extensive videos on the subject. On the subject of armor click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBtvS5yhTA8 here] for the general discussion, and [https://www.youtube.com/embed/6KHz0qWQA9I here] for the specific discussion on if boob plate's dangerous. Then click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Iw_RD_h6bc here] for the more general, but related subject of the Fantasy barbarian.		Unsurprisingly the skub extends to youtube. Shadiversity, a historian, author, and HEMA practitioner (who is obviously out of practice judging by how he fills out his robes) has a couple extensive videos on the subject. On the subject of armor click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBtvS5yhTA8 here] for the general discussion, and [https://www.youtube.com/embed/6KHz0qWQA9I here] for the specific discussion on if boob plate's dangerous. Then click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Iw_RD_h6bc here] for the more general, but related subject of the Fantasy barbarian.

	There's numerous responses from other ~~excellent~~ channels like Skallagrim, commentaries from Schola Gladiatoria and other detailed videos from Shad and others ranging from focusing on the chain mail bikini itself to the more general topic of the fantasy Conan style Barbarian. This goes all the way up to scifi boob plate of the far future... not quite [[Sisters of Battle\|40k]] to my knowledge. Yet. But people have brought similar kit up.		There's numerous responses from other channels like Skallagrim (who is the opposite of Shad in both thought and form, looking like a light breeze could snap him in half), commentaries from Schola Gladiatoria and other detailed videos from Shad and others ranging from focusing on the chain mail bikini itself to the more general topic of the fantasy Conan style Barbarian, and generally making a great effort at taking the fun out of the whole thing. This goes all the way up to scifi boob plate of the far future... not quite [[Sisters of Battle\|40k]] to my knowledge. Yet. But people have brought similar kit up.

	==See Also==		==See Also==
Line 85:		Line 85:

	<center><gallery>		<center><gallery>
	~~File:Skelerotic Warrior.png\|It separates, AND supports!~~
	File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.		File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.
	File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.		File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.
	File:Glamour armor.jpg\| Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.		File:Glamour armor.jpg\|Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.
	File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.		File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.
	File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.		File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:40, 16 October 2026
Line 38:		Line 38:
	Fantasy armor frequently ignores such considerations as "weight", "flexibility", "range of motion", "chafing", "padding", and "comfort", among other considerations, with exceptions being people who wear armor that shows a lot of skin (which sorta defeats the point of armor, but there you go) or where magic compensates for ergonomics or function (e.g.; a metal bikini enchanted to protect its wearer). This is also ignoring the tendency for almost everybody to walk around without any kind of helmet.		Fantasy armor frequently ignores such considerations as "weight", "flexibility", "range of motion", "chafing", "padding", and "comfort", among other considerations, with exceptions being people who wear armor that shows a lot of skin (which sorta defeats the point of armor, but there you go) or where magic compensates for ergonomics or function (e.g.; a metal bikini enchanted to protect its wearer). This is also ignoring the tendency for almost everybody to walk around without any kind of helmet.

	== ~~Chainmail Bikinis~~ ==		== The Main Source of Skub ==
	{{skubby}}		{{skubby}}

	~~This~~ is the main source of [[skub]] when armor is discussed~~, and the beating of this poor dead horse of a joke would cause great delight in some evil entities~~. Three points are probably indisputable:		Female armor is the main source of [[skub]] when armor is discussed. Three points are probably indisputable:

	# The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.		# The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.
Line 50:		Line 50:
	* [[Derp\|Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable.]] [[Irony\|Which three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.]]		* [[Derp\|Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable.]] [[Irony\|Which three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.]]

	For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. [[rollplaying\|rollplayer]] you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location~~. And for the roleplayer~~, ~~this can be excused~~ where ~~a force of~~ supernatural power - the ~~magic~~ meat and potatoes of ~~high~~ fantasy settings - is protecting the wearer regardless of exposed skin is involved. Otherwise, you also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate ~~and your average internet user does not compare favorably to Homer or even Diogenes~~.		For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. [[rollplaying\|rollplayer]] you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location, especially where supernatural power - the meat and potatoes of fantasy settings - protecting the wearer regardless of exposed skin is involved. Otherwise, you also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate.

	Further for point five... specialized armor for women is a thing, even in modern times for multiple military forces. This is something this ~~Troper~~'s sisters in arms expressed a great deal of desire for back in the day, and his current coworkers express a great deal of gratitude for now. ~~(Though going by the rates of female 'combatants' getting pregnant while on base or deployment, one has to imagine that they don't need the help.)~~		Further for point five... specialized armor for women is a thing, even in modern times for multiple military forces. This is something this Anon's sisters in arms expressed a great deal of desire for back in the day, and his current coworkers express a great deal of gratitude for now.

	Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but a sea of bullshit, maybe a few well-meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions~~, and a tide of busy-bodies trying to make sure that '''you''', yes you, reader, feel bad for enjoying some tasty cheesecake~~.		Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but a sea of bullshit, and maybe a few well-meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions.

	==="Breast"plate a.k.a. "Boobplate"===		==="Breast"plate a.k.a. "Boobplate"===
	A somewhat specific case of "Female Armor skub" is a breastplate that has boobs on it, for use by female users who want to advertise their femaleness~~, or by illustrators and writers that had Faux-nan tear a bear apart with his bare hands and decided that they may as well roll with the fantasy~~. There are a metric shitload of arguments centering around just this one specific variant of fantasy armor; the main somewhat objective complaint being that most such designs create an ~~supposed~~ weakness in the armor: you create an inward curve to drive the blow '''towards''' the center of the wearer's chest, rather than an outward curve which drives the blow '''away''' from the center of the chest. But from there, we rapidly enter the sea of skub and bullshit, without even the thin veneer of the "Best Practices" suggestions.		A somewhat specific case of "Female Armor skub" is a breastplate that has boobs on it, for use by female users who want to advertise their femaleness. There are a metric shitload of arguments centering around just this one specific variant of fantasy armor; the main somewhat objective complaint being that most such designs create an obvious weakness in the armor: you create an inward curve to drive the blow '''towards''' the center of the wearer's chest, rather than an outward curve which drives the blow '''away''' from the center of the chest. But from there, we rapidly enter the sea of skub and bullshit, without even the thin veneer of the "Best Practices" suggestions.

	== A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor ==		== A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor ==
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	==Videos==		==Videos==

	Unsurprisingly the skub extends to youtube. Shadiversity, a historian, author, and HEMA practitioner ~~(who is obviously out of practice judging by how he fills out his robes)~~ has a couple extensive videos on the subject. On the subject of armor click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBtvS5yhTA8 here] for the general discussion, and [https://www.youtube.com/embed/6KHz0qWQA9I here] for the specific discussion on if boob plate's dangerous. Then click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Iw_RD_h6bc here] for the more general, but related subject of the Fantasy barbarian.		Unsurprisingly the skub extends to youtube. Shadiversity, a historian, author, and HEMA practitioner has a couple extensive videos on the subject. On the subject of armor click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBtvS5yhTA8 here] for the general discussion, and [https://www.youtube.com/embed/6KHz0qWQA9I here] for the specific discussion on if boob plate's dangerous. Then click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Iw_RD_h6bc here] for the more general, but related subject of the Fantasy barbarian.

	There's numerous responses from other channels like Skallagrim ~~(who is the opposite of Shad in both thought and form, looking like a light breeze could snap him in half)~~, commentaries from Schola Gladiatoria and other detailed videos from Shad and others ranging from focusing on the chain mail bikini itself to the more general topic of the fantasy Conan style Barbarian~~, and generally making a great effort at taking the fun out of the whole thing~~. This goes all the way up to scifi boob plate of the far future... not quite [[Sisters of Battle\|40k]] to my knowledge. Yet. But people have brought similar kit up.		There's numerous responses from other excellent channels like Skallagrim, commentaries from Schola Gladiatoria and other detailed videos from Shad and others ranging from focusing on the chain mail bikini itself to the more general topic of the fantasy Conan style Barbarian. This goes all the way up to scifi boob plate of the far future... not quite [[Sisters of Battle\|40k]] to my knowledge. Yet. But people have brought similar kit up.

	==See Also==		==See Also==
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	<center><gallery>		<center><gallery>
			File:Skelerotic Warrior.png\|It separates, AND supports!
	File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.		File:Bikini-Armor-Cosplay.jpg\|This armor protects the most vital parts of the body.
	File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.		File:Megnets.jpg\|Perfectly safe, proven by practical evidence.
	File:Glamour armor.jpg\|Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.		File:Glamour armor.jpg\| Fantasy armor is known to reveal Fabulous Secret Powers to its wearer.
	File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.		File:ArmorTiers.jpg\|A possible, yet improbable, explanation.
	File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.		File:Armour of Bulk.png\|[[Centurion Squad\|The Centurion armored suit]]. An armor system where [[Derp\|the guy wearing powered armor wears another powered armor suit on top of it]]. At least the title is correct.

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:07, 15 October 2026
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	Fantasy armor frequently ignores such considerations as "weight", "flexibility", "range of motion", "chafing", "padding", and "comfort", among other considerations, with exceptions being people who wear armor that shows a lot of skin (which sorta defeats the point of armor, but there you go) or where magic compensates for ergonomics or function (e.g.; a metal bikini enchanted to protect its wearer). This is also ignoring the tendency for almost everybody to walk around without any kind of helmet.		Fantasy armor frequently ignores such considerations as "weight", "flexibility", "range of motion", "chafing", "padding", and "comfort", among other considerations, with exceptions being people who wear armor that shows a lot of skin (which sorta defeats the point of armor, but there you go) or where magic compensates for ergonomics or function (e.g.; a metal bikini enchanted to protect its wearer). This is also ignoring the tendency for almost everybody to walk around without any kind of helmet.

	== ~~The Main Source of Skub~~ ==		== Chainmail Bikinis ==
	{{skubby}}		{{skubby}}

	~~Female armor~~ is the main source of [[skub]] when armor is discussed. Three points are probably indisputable:		This is the main source of [[skub]] when armor is discussed, and the beating of this poor dead horse of a joke would cause great delight in some evil entities. Three points are probably indisputable:

	# The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.		# The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.
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	* [[Derp\|Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable.]] [[Irony\|Which three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.]]		* [[Derp\|Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable.]] [[Irony\|Which three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.]]

	For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. [[rollplaying\|rollplayer]] you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location, ~~especially~~ where supernatural power - the meat and potatoes of fantasy settings - protecting the wearer regardless of exposed skin is involved. Otherwise, you also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate.		For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. [[rollplaying\|rollplayer]] you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location. And for the roleplayer, this can be excused where a force of supernatural power - the magic meat and potatoes of high fantasy settings - is protecting the wearer regardless of exposed skin is involved. Otherwise, you also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate and your average internet user does not compare favorably to Homer or even Diogenes.

	Further for point five... specialized armor for women is a thing, even in modern times for multiple military forces. This is something this ~~Anon~~'s sisters in arms expressed a great deal of desire for back in the day, and his current coworkers express a great deal of gratitude for now.		Further for point five... specialized armor for women is a thing, even in modern times for multiple military forces. This is something this Troper's sisters in arms expressed a great deal of desire for back in the day, and his current coworkers express a great deal of gratitude for now. (Though going by the rates of female 'combatants' getting pregnant while on base or deployment, one has to imagine that they don't need the help.)

	Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but a sea of bullshit, ~~and~~ maybe a few well-meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions.		Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but a sea of bullshit, maybe a few well-meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions, and a tide of busy-bodies trying to make sure that '''you''', yes you, reader, feel bad for enjoying some tasty cheesecake.

	==="Breast"plate a.k.a. "Boobplate"===		==="Breast"plate a.k.a. "Boobplate"===
	A somewhat specific case of "Female Armor skub" is a breastplate that has boobs on it, for use by female users who want to advertise their femaleness. There are a metric shitload of arguments centering around just this one specific variant of fantasy armor; the main somewhat objective complaint being that most such designs create an ~~obvious~~ weakness in the armor: you create an inward curve to drive the blow '''towards''' the center of the wearer's chest, rather than an outward curve which drives the blow '''away''' from the center of the chest. But from there, we rapidly enter the sea of skub and bullshit, without even the thin veneer of the "Best Practices" suggestions.		A somewhat specific case of "Female Armor skub" is a breastplate that has boobs on it, for use by female users who want to advertise their femaleness, or by illustrators and writers that had Faux-nan tear a bear apart with his bare hands and decided that they may as well roll with the fantasy. There are a metric shitload of arguments centering around just this one specific variant of fantasy armor; the main somewhat objective complaint being that most such designs create an supposed weakness in the armor: you create an inward curve to drive the blow '''towards''' the center of the wearer's chest, rather than an outward curve which drives the blow '''away''' from the center of the chest. But from there, we rapidly enter the sea of skub and bullshit, without even the thin veneer of the "Best Practices" suggestions.

	== A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor ==		== A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor ==
Line 71:		Line 71:
	==Videos==		==Videos==

	Unsurprisingly the skub extends to youtube. Shadiversity, a historian, author, and HEMA practitioner has a couple extensive videos on the subject. On the subject of armor click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBtvS5yhTA8 here] for the general discussion, and [https://www.youtube.com/embed/6KHz0qWQA9I here] for the specific discussion on if boob plate's dangerous. Then click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Iw_RD_h6bc here] for the more general, but related subject of the Fantasy barbarian.		Unsurprisingly the skub extends to youtube. Shadiversity, a historian, author, and HEMA practitioner (who is obviously out of practice judging by how he fills out his robes) has a couple extensive videos on the subject. On the subject of armor click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBtvS5yhTA8 here] for the general discussion, and [https://www.youtube.com/embed/6KHz0qWQA9I here] for the specific discussion on if boob plate's dangerous. Then click [https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Iw_RD_h6bc here] for the more general, but related subject of the Fantasy barbarian.

	There's numerous responses from other ~~excellent~~ channels like Skallagrim, commentaries from Schola Gladiatoria and other detailed videos from Shad and others ranging from focusing on the chain mail bikini itself to the more general topic of the fantasy Conan style Barbarian. This goes all the way up to scifi boob plate of the far future... not quite [[Sisters of Battle\|40k]] to my knowledge. Yet. But people have brought similar kit up.		There's numerous responses from other channels like Skallagrim (who is the opposite of Shad in both thought and form, looking like a light breeze could snap him in half), commentaries from Schola Gladiatoria and other detailed videos from Shad and others ranging from focusing on the chain mail bikini itself to the more general topic of the fantasy Conan style Barbarian, and generally making a great effort at taking the fun out of the whole thing. This goes all the way up to scifi boob plate of the far future... not quite [[Sisters of Battle\|40k]] to my knowledge. Yet. But people have brought similar kit up.

	==See Also==		==See Also==