Feral World Religion - Revision history

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1d4chan>SpectralTime at 18:01, 1 December 2014

2014-12-01T18:01:59Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:01, 1 December 2014
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	A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the [[Imperial Cult]].		A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the [[Imperial Cult]].

			On an even-more-hilarious meta-level, they totally forgot [[Ferrus Manus]], which is funny whether or not it was intentional.

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71.226.98.222 at 19:09, 30 December 2013

2013-12-30T19:09:32Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:09, 30 December 2013
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	The Sisters looked at the picture, which indeed showed a very evil looking horse. Trying not to laugh, they silently noted that it did have lots of spiky bits painted on it.		The Sisters looked at the picture, which indeed showed a very evil looking horse. Trying not to laugh, they silently noted that it did have lots of spiky bits painted on it.

	"Other sons fight the Horse, even though-" her voice dropped to a frightened hush- "the [[Roboute Guilliman\|Gill Man]] came to take away their manhood with the Coat of Stars!"		"Other sons fight the Horse, even though-" her voice dropped to a frightened hush- "the [[Roboute Guilliman\|Gill Man]] came to take away their manhood with the [[Codex Astartes\|Coat of Stars]]!"

	Any confusion on the part of the Sisters was answered by the painting of the Gill Man, a large, scaly monster dressed in a starry coat with scissors on the end. Or rather, it was answered by the fact that the scales on his chest were blue and displayed the Ultramarines symbol.		Any confusion on the part of the Sisters was answered by the painting of the Gill Man, a large, scaly monster dressed in a starry coat with scissors on the end. Or rather, it was answered by the fact that the scales on his chest were blue and displayed the Ultramarines symbol.

1d4chan>Windows2000pro: added to Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000

2012-05-27T21:07:14Z

added to Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:07, 27 May 2012
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	[[Category:Stories]]		[[Category:Stories]]
	[[category:Warhammer 40,000]]		[[category:Warhammer 40,000]]
			[[Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000]]

71.192.10.129 at 19:01, 27 March 2012

2012-03-27T19:01:21Z

1d4chan>SFH at 01:45, 27 December 2011

2011-12-27T01:45:41Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:45, 27 December 2011
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	A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the Imperial Cult.		A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the [[Imperial Cult]].

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1d4chan>Biggus Berrus: Image!

2011-12-26T15:19:39Z

Image!

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:19, 26 December 2011
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	The feral worlder pointed to another picture.		The feral worlder pointed to another picture.
			[[File:Horse_Heresy.jpg\|thumb\|right\|[[Meme\|>ourfaceswhen.jpg]]]]
	"Betrayed by his son, the [[Horus\|Horse]]."		"Betrayed by his son, the [[Horus\|Horse]]."

94.193.71.92 at 19:58, 23 December 2011

2011-12-23T19:58:30Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:58, 23 December 2011
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	A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the Imperial Cult.		A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the Imperial Cult.

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	The feral worlder led the Sisters into the temple. Sister Superior Helena was relieved to see it was in relatively good condition- however backwards this planet might be, at least it had kept up its worship. Admirable, really, in a world that had not been contacted by the Imperium since the Salamanders had made a stop shortly after the Horus Heresy. Whatever her thoughts on the Astartes, they'd at least managed to impress these savages with the creed.		The feral worlder led the Sisters into the temple. Sister Superior Helena was relieved to see it was in relatively good condition- however backwards this planet might be, at least it had kept up its worship. Admirable, really, in a world that had not been contacted by the Imperium since the Salamanders had made a stop shortly after the Horus Heresy. Whatever her thoughts on the Astartes, they'd at least managed to impress these savages with the creed.
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	"Tell us, then," prompted Sister Helena. The feral worlder nodded, grinning, and pointed to the largest picture. It showed a man dressed in animal hides made of gold, sitting upon a chair that towered over a tiny villiage painted in the background.		"Tell us, then," prompted Sister Helena. The feral worlder nodded, grinning, and pointed to the largest picture. It showed a man dressed in animal hides made of gold, sitting upon a chair that towered over a tiny villiage painted in the background.

	"Emp-Rar," she explained.		"[[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Emp-Rar]]," she explained.

	"Emp-Rar?"		"Emp-Rar?"
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	The feral worlder pointed to another picture.		The feral worlder pointed to another picture.

	"Betrayed by his son, the Horse."		"Betrayed by his son, the [[Horus\|Horse]]."

	The Sisters looked at the picture, which indeed showed a very evil looking horse. Trying not to laugh, they silently noted that it did have lots of spiky bits painted on it.		The Sisters looked at the picture, which indeed showed a very evil looking horse. Trying not to laugh, they silently noted that it did have lots of spiky bits painted on it.

	"Other sons fight the Horse, even though-" her voice dropped to a frightened hush- "the Gill Man came to take away their manhood with the Coat of Stars!"		"Other sons fight the Horse, even though-" her voice dropped to a frightened hush- "the [[Roboute Guilliman\|Gill Man]] came to take away their manhood with the Coat of Stars!"

	Any confusion on the part of the Sisters was answered by the painting of the Gill Man, a large, scaly monster dressed in a starry coat with scissors on the end. Or rather, it was answered by the fact that the scales on his chest were blue and displayed the Ultramarines symbol.		Any confusion on the part of the Sisters was answered by the painting of the Gill Man, a large, scaly monster dressed in a starry coat with scissors on the end. Or rather, it was answered by the fact that the scales on his chest were blue and displayed the Ultramarines symbol.
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	The feral worlder moved on to the next series of paintings, each with a symbol that suggested a different Primarch.		The feral worlder moved on to the next series of paintings, each with a symbol that suggested a different Primarch.

	"The Great Green One," she said reverently. "Knew the secrets of Fire and Steel. Refused to let the Gill-Man take his manhood."		"[[Vulkan\|The Great Green One]]," she said reverently. "Knew the secrets of Fire and Steel. Refused to let the Gill-Man take his manhood."

	Sister Rosalind surpressed a giggle, deciding that the next time she saw the Salamanders she would call them Great Green Ones. They'd kill her for it, but it would be worth it.		Sister Rosalind surpressed a giggle, deciding that the next time she saw the Salamanders she would call them Great Green Ones. They'd kill her for it, but it would be worth it.

	"The Angel," came the feral worlder's voice, pointing at the next painting. "Emp-Rar's beautiful daughter." Indeed, the golden-haired woman in the painting was remarkeably beautiful, her body barely covered by a sheer peice of cloth, her blue eyes large and sad as she wept tears of blood.		"[[Sanguinius\|The Angel]]," came the feral worlder's voice, pointing at the next painting. "Emp-Rar's beautiful daughter." Indeed, the golden-haired woman in the painting was remarkeably beautiful, her body barely covered by a sheer peice of cloth, her blue eyes large and sad as she wept tears of blood.

	"Was there a female Primarch?" Sister Ophelia hissed excitedly. "I never learned about her!"		"Was there a female Primarch?" Sister Ophelia hissed excitedly. "I never learned about her!"
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	"Don't ask," replied Sister Helena. With any luck, the Blood Angels would never end up visiting this planet.		"Don't ask," replied Sister Helena. With any luck, the Blood Angels would never end up visiting this planet.

	"One son was a wall."		"One son was a [[Rogal Dorn\|wall]]."

	"You mean, built a wall?"		"You mean, built a wall?"
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	The feral worlder seemed a bit embarrassed at that. Her head bowed, she pointed to three smaller paintings.		The feral worlder seemed a bit embarrassed at that. Her head bowed, she pointed to three smaller paintings.

	"Other sons, Great Green Ones say are not important, but we put them up here anyway. Important to know history. The Raven-" she pointed to a painting of a large black bird, his wings spread, giving what looked like a murderous glare to the other paintings- '"The Man with the White Scar-" this painting showed what appeared to be a man riding a horse made of steel, a primitive attempt at understanding the concept of an attack bike- "and Bad Angel. Great Green Ones not talk about Bad Angel, though. They say he brings bad luck to those who knew too much."		"Other sons, Great Green Ones say are not important, but we put them up here anyway. Important to know history. [[Corax\|The Raven]]-" she pointed to a painting of a large black bird, his wings spread, giving what looked like a murderous glare to the other paintings- '"[[Jaghatai Khan\|The Man with the White Scar]]-" this painting showed what appeared to be a man riding a horse made of steel, a primitive attempt at understanding the concept of an attack bike- "and [[Lion El'Jonson\|Bad Angel]]. Great Green Ones not talk about Bad Angel, though. They say he brings bad luck to those who knew too much."

	"They would," commented Sister Mariana. "And I think the Great Green Ones seem to have been a little bitter over Guilliman's backers. Are there any they did say were important?"		"They would," commented Sister Mariana. "And I think the Great Green Ones seem to have been a little bitter over Guilliman's backers. Are there any they did say were important?"
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	The feral worlder beamed at her.		The feral worlder beamed at her.

	"Wolf-Man. Along with Great Green One, refused to lose his manhood to the Gill-Man's coat of stars." With that, she pointed to the final painting on the temple walls.		"[[Leman Russ\|Wolf-Man]]. Along with Great Green One, refused to lose his manhood to the Gill-Man's coat of stars." With that, she pointed to the final painting on the temple walls.

	The painting showed a huge barbarian, naked from the waist up. Over one shoulder was slung a woman, who looked as if she wasn't quite sure whether or not to be upset by her impending ravishment. In the other hand, he weilded a giant tanker of mead, using it to crush his opponants while taking a healthy drink from it himself.		The painting showed a huge barbarian, naked from the waist up. Over one shoulder was slung a woman, who looked as if she wasn't quite sure whether or not to be upset by her impending ravishment. In the other hand, he weilded a giant tanker of mead, using it to crush his opponants while taking a healthy drink from it himself.

94.193.71.92: Created page with "A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the Imperial Cult. ---------- The feral worlder le..."

2011-12-23T19:38:16Z

Created page with "A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the Imperial Cult. ---------- The feral worlder le..."

New page

A hilarious piece of writefaggotry posted on /tg/ by an anon about an isolated feral world and their ''interesting'' spin on the Imperial Cult.

----------

The feral worlder led the Sisters into the temple. Sister Superior Helena was relieved to see it was in relatively good condition- however backwards this planet might be, at least it had kept up its worship. Admirable, really, in a world that had not been contacted by the Imperium since the Salamanders had made a stop shortly after the Horus Heresy. Whatever her thoughts on the Astartes, they'd at least managed to impress these savages with the creed.

"Here," the feral worlder said, pointing at a series of crude paintings inside the temple. Or perhaps crude was the wrong word- primitive, yes, but obvious effort had been put into them. They would not compare with the stained glass or sacred paintings of an Imperial convent, but their bright colors and symbols were certainly eye-catching.

"Tells all the story. Known it since I was a babe." The feral worlder seemed proud, or else simply eager for the approval of the strange women with fire-spitting wands.

"Tell us, then," prompted Sister Helena. The feral worlder nodded, grinning, and pointed to the largest picture. It showed a man dressed in animal hides made of gold, sitting upon a chair that towered over a tiny villiage painted in the background.

"Emp-Rar," she explained.

"Emp-Rar?"

"King Emp-Rar, of the villiage Terra. Powerful magician, made himself god."

"Magician?" explaimed Sister Isabella, her face contorted with fury. "That's heres-"

Sister Helena cut her off with a look. She might normally have agreed with Isabella's assesment, but the feral worlder hadn't seemed to mean anything chaos-related by the word. Besides, until their rescue ship arrived, they were stuck on this barbaric little rock and would have to save their ammunition for true emergencies.

"Go on."

The feral worlder pointed to another picture.

"Betrayed by his son, the Horse."

The Sisters looked at the picture, which indeed showed a very evil looking horse. Trying not to laugh, they silently noted that it did have lots of spiky bits painted on it.

"Other sons fight the Horse, even though-" her voice dropped to a frightened hush- "the Gill Man came to take away their manhood with the Coat of Stars!"

Any confusion on the part of the Sisters was answered by the painting of the Gill Man, a large, scaly monster dressed in a starry coat with scissors on the end. Or rather, it was answered by the fact that the scales on his chest were blue and displayed the Ultramarines symbol.

"Yes," whispered Sister Rosalind, "this story was definately told by the Salamanders."

The feral worlder moved on to the next series of paintings, each with a symbol that suggested a different Primarch.

"The Great Green One," she said reverently. "Knew the secrets of Fire and Steel. Refused to let the Gill-Man take his manhood."

Sister Rosalind surpressed a giggle, deciding that the next time she saw the Salamanders she would call them Great Green Ones. They'd kill her for it, but it would be worth it.

"The Angel," came the feral worlder's voice, pointing at the next painting. "Emp-Rar's beautiful daughter." Indeed, the golden-haired woman in the painting was remarkeably beautiful, her body barely covered by a sheer peice of cloth, her blue eyes large and sad as she wept tears of blood.

"Was there a female Primarch?" Sister Ophelia hissed excitedly. "I never learned about her!"

"Don't ask," replied Sister Helena. With any luck, the Blood Angels would never end up visiting this planet.

"One son was a wall."

"You mean, built a wall?"

"Was a wall. Emp-Rar's concubines gave birth to a great wall to protect him. Wall called Dorn."

"I'm really pretty sure this is heresy..." groaned Sister Isabella.

The feral worlder looked at them suspiciously. "Priestesses of Emp-Rar should know the story. Why so many questions?"

Sister Helena smiled, doing her best to convey smug superiority. "We merely wish to see how well you know your history. Memorized speeches are all well and good, but it doesn't mean much if you can't explain in detail."

The feral worlder seemed a bit embarrassed at that. Her head bowed, she pointed to three smaller paintings.

"Other sons, Great Green Ones say are not important, but we put them up here anyway. Important to know history. The Raven-" she pointed to a painting of a large black bird, his wings spread, giving what looked like a murderous glare to the other paintings- '"The Man with the White Scar-" this painting showed what appeared to be a man riding a horse made of steel, a primitive attempt at understanding the concept of an attack bike- "and Bad Angel. Great Green Ones not talk about Bad Angel, though. They say he brings bad luck to those who knew too much."

"They would," commented Sister Mariana. "And I think the Great Green Ones seem to have been a little bitter over Guilliman's backers. Are there any they did say were important?"

The feral worlder beamed at her.

"Wolf-Man. Along with Great Green One, refused to lose his manhood to the Gill-Man's coat of stars." With that, she pointed to the final painting on the temple walls.

The painting showed a huge barbarian, naked from the waist up. Over one shoulder was slung a woman, who looked as if she wasn't quite sure whether or not to be upset by her impending ravishment. In the other hand, he weilded a giant tanker of mead, using it to crush his opponants while taking a healthy drink from it himself.

"Well," said Sister Helena after a moment's pause, "at least they got one right."

[[Category:Stories]]
[[category:Warhammer 40,000]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:01, 27 March 2012
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	"Tells all the story. Known it since I was a babe." The feral worlder seemed proud, or else simply eager for the approval of the strange women with fire-spitting wands.		"Tells all the story. Known it since I was a babe." The feral worlder seemed proud, or else simply eager for the approval of the strange women with fire-spitting wands.

	"Tell us, then," prompted Sister Helena. The feral worlder nodded, grinning, and pointed to the largest picture. It showed a man dressed in animal hides made of gold, sitting upon a chair that towered over a tiny ~~villiage~~ painted in the background.		"Tell us, then," prompted Sister Helena. The feral worlder nodded, grinning, and pointed to the largest picture. It showed a man dressed in animal hides made of gold, sitting upon a chair that towered over a tiny village painted in the background.

	"[[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Emp-Rar]]," she explained.		"[[God-Emperor of Mankind\|Emp-Rar]]," she explained.
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	"Emp-Rar?"		"Emp-Rar?"

	"King Emp-Rar, of the ~~villiage~~ Terra. Powerful magician, made himself god."		"King Emp-Rar, of the village Terra. Powerful magician, made himself god."

	"Magician?" ~~explaimed~~ Sister Isabella, her face contorted with fury. "That's heres-"		"Magician?" explained Sister Isabella, her face contorted with fury. "That's heres-"

	Sister Helena cut her off with a look. She might normally have agreed with Isabella's ~~assesment~~, but the feral worlder hadn't seemed to mean anything chaos-related by the word. Besides, until their rescue ship arrived, they were stuck on this barbaric little rock and would have to save their ammunition for true emergencies.		Sister Helena cut her off with a look. She might normally have agreed with Isabella's assessment, but the feral worlder hadn't seemed to mean anything chaos-related by the word. Besides, until their rescue ship arrived, they were stuck on this barbaric little rock and would have to save their ammunition for true emergencies.

	"Go on."		"Go on."
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	Any confusion on the part of the Sisters was answered by the painting of the Gill Man, a large, scaly monster dressed in a starry coat with scissors on the end. Or rather, it was answered by the fact that the scales on his chest were blue and displayed the Ultramarines symbol.		Any confusion on the part of the Sisters was answered by the painting of the Gill Man, a large, scaly monster dressed in a starry coat with scissors on the end. Or rather, it was answered by the fact that the scales on his chest were blue and displayed the Ultramarines symbol.

	"Yes," whispered Sister Rosalind, "this story was ~~definately~~ told by the Salamanders."		"Yes," whispered Sister Rosalind, "this story was definitely told by the Salamanders."

	The feral worlder moved on to the next series of paintings, each with a symbol that suggested a different Primarch.		The feral worlder moved on to the next series of paintings, each with a symbol that suggested a different Primarch.
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	"[[Vulkan\|The Great Green One]]," she said reverently. "Knew the secrets of Fire and Steel. Refused to let the Gill-Man take his manhood."		"[[Vulkan\|The Great Green One]]," she said reverently. "Knew the secrets of Fire and Steel. Refused to let the Gill-Man take his manhood."

	Sister Rosalind ~~surpressed~~ a giggle, deciding that the next time she saw the Salamanders she would call them Great Green Ones. They'd kill her for it, but it would be worth it.		Sister Rosalind suppressed a giggle, deciding that the next time she saw the Salamanders she would call them Great Green Ones. They'd kill her for it, but it would be worth it.

	"[[Sanguinius\|The Angel]]," came the feral worlder's voice, pointing at the next painting. "Emp-Rar's beautiful daughter." Indeed, the golden-haired woman in the painting was ~~remarkeably~~ beautiful, her body barely covered by a sheer ~~peice~~ of cloth, her blue eyes large and sad as she wept tears of blood.		"[[Sanguinius\|The Angel]]," came the feral worlder's voice, pointing at the next painting. "Emp-Rar's beautiful daughter." Indeed, the golden-haired woman in the painting was remarkably beautiful, her body barely covered by a sheer piece of cloth, her blue eyes large and sad as she wept tears of blood.

	"Was there a female Primarch?" Sister Ophelia hissed excitedly. "I never learned about her!"		"Was there a female Primarch?" Sister Ophelia hissed excitedly. "I never learned about her!"
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	"[[Leman Russ\|Wolf-Man]]. Along with Great Green One, refused to lose his manhood to the Gill-Man's coat of stars." With that, she pointed to the final painting on the temple walls.		"[[Leman Russ\|Wolf-Man]]. Along with Great Green One, refused to lose his manhood to the Gill-Man's coat of stars." With that, she pointed to the final painting on the temple walls.

	The painting showed a huge barbarian, naked from the waist up. Over one shoulder was slung a woman, who looked as if she wasn't quite sure whether or not to be upset by her impending ravishment. In the other hand, he ~~weilded~~ a giant tanker of mead, using it to crush his ~~opponants~~ while taking a healthy drink from it himself.		The painting showed a huge barbarian, naked from the waist up. Over one shoulder was slung a woman, who looked as if she wasn't quite sure whether or not to be upset by her impending ravishment. In the other hand, he wielded a giant tanker of mead, using it to crush his opponents while taking a healthy drink from it himself.

	"Well," said Sister Helena after a moment's pause, "at least they got one right."		"Well," said Sister Helena after a moment's pause, "at least they got one right."