Goge Vandire - Revision history

imported>Administrator: 82 revisions imported

2023-06-21T14:24:41Z

82 revisions imported

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:24, 21 June 2023
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imported>Administrator: 1 revision imported

2023-06-19T01:55:27Z

1 revision imported

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2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:9092:EB43:6B32:3957: /* Daughters of the Emperor */

2023-06-05T18:36:26Z

Daughters of the Emperor

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:36, 5 June 2023
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	When he got to the gate of the convent, they said something along the lines of ''"No Man May Enter Here"'' and half the Imperium expected another dead world. But Vandire stayed calm for once and convinced the ladies to let him over the threshold where he would "prove" himself blessed by the Emperor; mostly by brandishing his [[Rosarius]] and saying "shoot me" since very few people on that backwater planet will have ever seen a [[Rosarius]] before.		When he got to the gate of the convent, they said something along the lines of ''"No Man May Enter Here"'' and half the Imperium expected another dead world. But Vandire stayed calm for once and convinced the ladies to let him over the threshold where he would "prove" himself blessed by the Emperor; mostly by brandishing his [[Rosarius]] and saying "shoot me" since very few people on that backwater planet will have ever seen a [[Rosarius]] before.

	Thus he got himself a fanatical army of sexy bolter babes and named them the '''"Brides of the Emperor"'''		Thus he got himself a fanatical army of sexy bolter babes and named them the '''"Brides of the Emperor"'''.

	He also used the Brides of the Emperor for "singing, dancing, and other more '''''[[Heresy\|exotic]]''''' skills". So in addition to dictator and space-pope, his job description becomes all the more venerable with the addition <s>"Pimp of the Imperium."</s>{{BLAM}} {{BLAM\|The Emprah is the only pimp of the Imperium!}}		He also used the Brides of the Emperor for "singing, dancing, and other more '''''[[Heresy\|exotic]]''''' skills". So in addition to dictator and space-pope, his job description becomes all the more venerable with the addition <s>"Pimp of the Imperium."</s>{{BLAM}} {{BLAM\|The Emprah is the only pimp of the Imperium!}}

2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:9092:EB43:6B32:3957 at 18:36, 5 June 2023

2023-06-05T18:36:15Z

115.70.44.117 at 08:27, 31 December 2022

2022-12-31T08:27:46Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:27, 31 December 2022
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	{{heresy}}		{{heresy}}
	{{sick\|He's like if Hitler was the Pope.}}		{{sick\|He's like if Hitler or Stalin was the Pope.}}
	[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]		[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]
	{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}		{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}

2600:4040:2A07:3D00:2DF2:565D:4021:BA7B at 03:56, 9 December 2022

2022-12-09T03:56:09Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:56, 9 December 2022
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	{{heresy}}		{{heresy}}
			{{sick\|He's like if Hitler was the Pope.}}
	[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]		[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]
	{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}		{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}

2600:4040:2A07:3D00:2DF2:565D:4021:BA7B at 03:54, 9 December 2022

2022-12-09T03:54:43Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:54, 9 December 2022
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			{{heresy}}
	[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]		[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]
	{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}		{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}

1d4chan>Ow, My Sanity. at 15:44, 10 November 2021

2021-11-10T15:44:15Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:44, 10 November 2021
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	[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]		[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]
	{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}		{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}
	{{topquote\|That name just screams "I will take your eye sockets, and put my penis into them\|The Emprah}}		{{topquote\|That name just screams 'I will take your eye sockets, and put my penis into them.'\|The Emprah}}
	That's right, his name is Goge Vandire. [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device\|'''G-O-G-E''' Vandire.]] How much eviler can a name get?		That's right, his name is Goge Vandire. [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device\|'''G-O-G-E''' Vandire.]] How much eviler can a name get?

	'''Goge Vandire''' is a jackass who took control of the Imperium during the [[Age of Apostasy]], holding the positions of [[Ecclesiarchy\|Ecclesiarch]] and [[High Lords of Terra\|Head of the Administratum]] which is the Imperium version of the pope, at the same time, starting the '''Reign of Blood'''. If the Imperium is space Rome, this guy is Caligula, Nero, and Commodus all in one nutty sci-fi package. He was paranoid even by Imperial standards, and his reign saw the murder of many, many civilians. Surveillance servo-skulls on every street corner, random purges for imagined slights, this guy makes Joseph Stalin look friendly and fair-minded. Took a shitload of ~~spes~~ muhreens to take on the dipshit, and even then he only died because his [[Sisters of Battle\|female bodyguards]] (who may or may not have been his sex slaves as well; some evil dictators in real-life have done that) finally realized he was an asshole and cut off his head, possibly by order of [[The Emperor]] himself. At least he left behind some epic last words of ''~~'''"~~I don't have time to die; I'm too busy~~"'''~~'' which probably was adapted into some nice comedy movies for the Imperial citizenry. A good example of how no matter how bad the Imperium gets, it could always be worse. What [[C.S Goto\|a cunt]].		'''Goge Vandire''' is a jackass who took control of the Imperium during the [[Age of Apostasy]], holding the positions of [[Ecclesiarchy\|Ecclesiarch]] and [[High Lords of Terra\|Head of the Administratum]] which is the Imperium version of the pope, at the same time, starting the '''Reign of Blood'''. If the Imperium is space Rome, this guy is Caligula, Nero, and Commodus all in one nutty sci-fi package. He was paranoid even by Imperial standards, and his reign saw the murder of many, many civilians. Surveillance servo-skulls on every street corner, random purges for imagined slights, this guy makes Joseph Stalin look friendly and fair-minded. Took a shitload of spess muhreens to take on the dipshit, and even then he only died because his [[Sisters of Battle\|female bodyguards]] (who may or may not have been his sex slaves as well; some evil dictators in real-life have done that) finally realized he was an asshole and cut off his head, possibly by order of [[The Emperor]] himself.

			At least he left behind some epic last words of "''[[Lulz\|I don't have time to die; I'm too busy!]]''" which probably was adapted into some nice comedy movies for the Imperial citizenry. A good example of how no matter how bad the Imperium gets, it could always be worse. What [[C.S Goto\|a cunt]].

	Speaking of cunts, the [[Adeptus Custodes\|Captain-General]] has the Emperor’s level of authority when the Emperor is incapacitated or at least does not contradict him. Interesting how he didn’t do shit about this horrorfest until the very end. This may be because the Custodes had locked themselves away from all contact with the outside, in their despair at the Emperor's death. And also because Vandire went to great lengths to [[Rules Lawyer\|''ostensibly'']] defer to the Emperor and pretend to speak with His voice, no matter what he did or how absurd. Also the main reason why he managed to remain in power for so long.		Speaking of cunts, the [[Adeptus Custodes\|Captain-General]] has the Emperor’s level of authority when the Emperor is incapacitated or at least does not contradict him. Interesting how he didn’t do shit about this horrorfest until the very end. This may be because the Custodes had locked themselves away from all contact with the outside, in their despair at the Emperor's death. And also because Vandire went to great lengths to [[Rules Lawyer\|''ostensibly'']] defer to the Emperor and pretend to speak with His voice, no matter what he did or how absurd. Also the main reason why he managed to remain in power for so long.

1d4chan>BigEEcksdee at 20:08, 29 August 2021

2021-08-29T20:08:23Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:08, 29 August 2021
Line 42:		Line 42:
	In his final moments Vandire looked as pathetic on the outside as he had always been on the inside: a cranky twitchy old man frantically scrabbling inane orders on balled-up pieces of paper and not even paying attention to the people about to {{BLAM}} him. His last words were said to be: "I don't have time to die! I'm too busy!" In honor of finally killing this guy, the Brides were reformed into the [[Sisters of Battle]].		In his final moments Vandire looked as pathetic on the outside as he had always been on the inside: a cranky twitchy old man frantically scrabbling inane orders on balled-up pieces of paper and not even paying attention to the people about to {{BLAM}} him. His last words were said to be: "I don't have time to die! I'm too busy!" In honor of finally killing this guy, the Brides were reformed into the [[Sisters of Battle]].

	He was a [[that guy\|huge dick]] [[~~Rocks fall, everyone dies~~\|and got what he had coming]]. The end. Fuck him.		He was a [[that guy\|huge dick]] [[Konrad Curze\|and got what he had coming]]. The end. Fuck him.

	{{Sororitas-Characters}}		{{Sororitas-Characters}}

1d4chan>BigEEcksdee at 20:06, 29 August 2021

2021-08-29T20:06:51Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:06, 29 August 2021
Line 35:		Line 35:
	Thus he got himself a fanatical army of sexy bolter babes and named them the '''"Brides of the Emperor"'''		Thus he got himself a fanatical army of sexy bolter babes and named them the '''"Brides of the Emperor"'''

	He also used the Brides of the Emperor for "singing, dancing, and other more '''''exotic''''' skills". So in addition to dictator and space-pope, his job description becomes all the more venerable with the addition <s>"Pimp of the Imperium."</s>{{BLAM}} {{BLAM\|The Emprah is the only pimp of the Imperium!}}		He also used the Brides of the Emperor for "singing, dancing, and other more '''''[[Heresy\|exotic]]''''' skills". So in addition to dictator and space-pope, his job description becomes all the more venerable with the addition <s>"Pimp of the Imperium."</s>{{BLAM}} {{BLAM\|The Emprah is the only pimp of the Imperium!}}

	===The End===		===The End===

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:44, 10 November 2021
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]		[[Image:Goge Vandire.jpg\|400px\|right\|thumb\|If Stalin became the Pope.]]
	{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}		{{topquote\|'''Oderint, dum metuant!''' (Let them hate me, so long as they fear me!)\|Caligula}}
	{{topquote\|That name just screams "I will take your eye sockets, and put my penis into them\|The Emprah}}		{{topquote\|That name just screams 'I will take your eye sockets, and put my penis into them.'\|The Emprah}}
	That's right, his name is Goge Vandire. [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device\|'''G-O-G-E''' Vandire.]] How much eviler can a name get?		That's right, his name is Goge Vandire. [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device\|'''G-O-G-E''' Vandire.]] How much eviler can a name get?

	'''Goge Vandire''' is a jackass who took control of the Imperium during the [[Age of Apostasy]], holding the positions of [[Ecclesiarchy\|Ecclesiarch]] and [[High Lords of Terra\|Head of the Administratum]] which is the Imperium version of the pope, at the same time, starting the '''Reign of Blood'''. If the Imperium is space Rome, this guy is Caligula, Nero, and Commodus all in one nutty sci-fi package. He was paranoid even by Imperial standards, and his reign saw the murder of many, many civilians. Surveillance servo-skulls on every street corner, random purges for imagined slights, this guy makes Joseph Stalin look friendly and fair-minded. Took a shitload of ~~spes~~ muhreens to take on the dipshit, and even then he only died because his [[Sisters of Battle\|female bodyguards]] (who may or may not have been his sex slaves as well; some evil dictators in real-life have done that) finally realized he was an asshole and cut off his head, possibly by order of [[The Emperor]] himself. At least he left behind some epic last words of ''~~'''"~~I don't have time to die; I'm too busy~~"'''~~'' which probably was adapted into some nice comedy movies for the Imperial citizenry. A good example of how no matter how bad the Imperium gets, it could always be worse. What [[C.S Goto\|a cunt]].		'''Goge Vandire''' is a jackass who took control of the Imperium during the [[Age of Apostasy]], holding the positions of [[Ecclesiarchy\|Ecclesiarch]] and [[High Lords of Terra\|Head of the Administratum]] which is the Imperium version of the pope, at the same time, starting the '''Reign of Blood'''. If the Imperium is space Rome, this guy is Caligula, Nero, and Commodus all in one nutty sci-fi package. He was paranoid even by Imperial standards, and his reign saw the murder of many, many civilians. Surveillance servo-skulls on every street corner, random purges for imagined slights, this guy makes Joseph Stalin look friendly and fair-minded. Took a shitload of spess muhreens to take on the dipshit, and even then he only died because his [[Sisters of Battle\|female bodyguards]] (who may or may not have been his sex slaves as well; some evil dictators in real-life have done that) finally realized he was an asshole and cut off his head, possibly by order of [[The Emperor]] himself.

			At least he left behind some epic last words of "''[[Lulz\|I don't have time to die; I'm too busy!]]''" which probably was adapted into some nice comedy movies for the Imperial citizenry. A good example of how no matter how bad the Imperium gets, it could always be worse. What [[C.S Goto\|a cunt]].

	Speaking of cunts, the [[Adeptus Custodes\|Captain-General]] has the Emperor’s level of authority when the Emperor is incapacitated or at least does not contradict him. Interesting how he didn’t do shit about this horrorfest until the very end. This may be because the Custodes had locked themselves away from all contact with the outside, in their despair at the Emperor's death. And also because Vandire went to great lengths to [[Rules Lawyer\|''ostensibly'']] defer to the Emperor and pretend to speak with His voice, no matter what he did or how absurd. Also the main reason why he managed to remain in power for so long.		Speaking of cunts, the [[Adeptus Custodes\|Captain-General]] has the Emperor’s level of authority when the Emperor is incapacitated or at least does not contradict him. Interesting how he didn’t do shit about this horrorfest until the very end. This may be because the Custodes had locked themselves away from all contact with the outside, in their despair at the Emperor's death. And also because Vandire went to great lengths to [[Rules Lawyer\|''ostensibly'']] defer to the Emperor and pretend to speak with His voice, no matter what he did or how absurd. Also the main reason why he managed to remain in power for so long.

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:36, 5 June 2023
Line 6:		Line 6:
	That's right, his name is Goge Vandire. [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device\|'''G-O-G-E''' Vandire.]] How much eviler can a name get?		That's right, his name is Goge Vandire. [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device\|'''G-O-G-E''' Vandire.]] How much eviler can a name get?

	'''Goge Vandire''' is a jackass who took control of the Imperium during the [[Age of Apostasy]], holding the positions of [[Ecclesiarchy\|Ecclesiarch]] and [[High Lords of Terra\|Head of the Administratum]] which is the Imperium version of the pope, at the same time, starting the '''Reign of Blood'''. If the Imperium is space Rome, this guy is Caligula, Nero, and Commodus all in one nutty sci-fi package. He was paranoid even by Imperial standards, and his reign saw the murder of many, many civilians. Surveillance servo-skulls on every street corner, random purges for imagined slights, this guy makes Joseph Stalin look friendly and fair-minded. Took a shitload of spess muhreens to take on the dipshit, and even then he only died because his [[Sisters of Battle\|female bodyguards]] (who may or may not have been his sex slaves as well; some evil dictators in real-life have done that) finally realized he was an asshole and cut off his head, possibly by order of [[The Emperor]] himself.		'''Goge Vandire''' is a jackass who took control of the Imperium during the [[Age of Apostasy]], holding the positions of [[Ecclesiarchy\|Ecclesiarch]] and [[High Lords of Terra\|Head of the Administratum]] which is the Imperium version of the pope, at the same time, starting the '''Reign of Blood'''. If the Imperium is space Rome, this guy is Caligula, Nero, and Commodus all in one nutty sci-fi package. He was paranoid even by Imperial standards, and his reign saw the murder of many, many civilians. Surveillance servo-skulls on every street corner, random purges for imagined slights, this guy makes Joseph Stalin look friendly and fair-minded. Took a shitload of spess muhreens to take on the dipshit, and even then he only died because his [[Sisters of Battle\|female bodyguards]] (who may or may not have been his sex slaves as well; some evil dictators in real-life have done that) finally realized he was an asshole and cut off his head, possibly by order of [[The Emperor]] himself.

	At least he left behind some epic last words of "''[[Lulz\|I don't have time to die; I'm too busy!]]''" which probably was adapted into some nice comedy movies for the Imperial citizenry. A good example of how no matter how bad the Imperium gets, it could always be worse. What [[C.S Goto\|a cunt]].		At least he left behind some epic last words of "''[[Lulz\|I don't have time to die; I'm too busy!]]''" which probably was adapted into some nice comedy movies for the Imperial citizenry. A good example of how no matter how bad the Imperium gets, it could always be worse. What [[C.S Goto\|a cunt]].

	Speaking of cunts, the [[Adeptus Custodes\|Captain-General]] has the Emperor’s level of authority when the Emperor is incapacitated or at least does not contradict him. Interesting how he didn’t do shit about this horrorfest until the very end. This may be because the Custodes had locked themselves away from all contact with the outside, in their despair at the Emperor's death. And also because Vandire went to great lengths to [[Rules Lawyer\|''ostensibly'']] defer to the Emperor and pretend to speak with His voice, no matter what he did or how absurd. Also the main reason why he managed to remain in power for so long.		Speaking of cunts, the [[Adeptus Custodes\|Captain-General]] has the Emperor’s level of authority when the Emperor is incapacitated or at least does not contradict him. Interesting how he didn’t do shit about this horrorfest until the very end. This may be because the Custodes had locked themselves away from all contact with the outside, in their despair at the Emperor's death. And also because Vandire went to great lengths to [[Rules Lawyer\|''ostensibly'']] defer to the Emperor and pretend to speak with His voice, no matter what he did or how absurd. Also the main reason why he managed to remain in power for so long.

	==Reign of Blood==		==Reign of Blood==
Line 33:		Line 33:

	===Daughters of the Emperor===		===Daughters of the Emperor===
	When he found the world of '''San Leor''' he found a convent of holy sisters called the '''"Daughters of the Emperor"'''. On his arrival his retainers said to the population that they had to throw him the biggest party EVAR on pain of death. So when he paraded down the streets he was met by the flower petals, incense and crowds singing praises to him (at gunpoint) all caught on pictcast for the rest of the galaxy to see.		When he found the world of '''San Leor''' he found a convent of holy sisters called the '''"Daughters of the Emperor"'''. On his arrival his retainers said to the population that they had to throw him the biggest party EVAR on pain of death. So when he paraded down the streets he was met by the flower petals, incense and crowds singing praises to him (at gunpoint) all caught on pictcast for the rest of the galaxy to see.

	When he got to the gate of the convent, they said something along the lines of ''"No Man May Enter Here"'' and half the Imperium expected another dead world. But Vandire stayed calm for once and convinced the ladies to let him over the threshold where he would "prove" himself blessed by the Emperor; mostly by brandishing his [[Rosarius]] and saying "shoot me" since very few people on that backwater planet will have ever seen a [[Rosarius]] before.		When he got to the gate of the convent, they said something along the lines of ''"No Man May Enter Here"'' and half the Imperium expected another dead world. But Vandire stayed calm for once and convinced the ladies to let him over the threshold where he would "prove" himself blessed by the Emperor; mostly by brandishing his [[Rosarius]] and saying "shoot me" since very few people on that backwater planet will have ever seen a [[Rosarius]] before.
Line 42:		Line 42:

	===The End===		===The End===
	He ruled for 70 years, up until [[Sebastian Thor]] showed up. To make a [[Age of Apostasy\|long story]] short, everyone from the Space marines to the Custodes was seriously fed up with Vandire's shit and invaded Terra. Vandire quickly ducked into a bunker and left it to the Brides to defend him. To their credit, the Brides were damn good at what they did, dragging Thor's forces in a grueling stalemate, forcing Thor to go with Plan B. The Custodes used their knowledge of Terra's secret passages to sneak behind the Brides' lines, but rather than kill Vandire themselves they talked with the six leaders of the Brides, most famously Alicia Dominica, and convinced them to talk with the Emperor himself instead of the deluded so-called reincarnation. You can guess how that went, and Dominica ordered her sisters to throw down their arms and let Thor's forces in while she confronted Vandire herself.		He ruled for 70 years, up until [[Sebastian Thor]] showed up. To make a [[Age of Apostasy\|long story]] short, everyone from the Space marines to the Custodes was seriously fed up with Vandire's shit and invaded Terra. Vandire quickly ducked into a bunker and left it to the Brides to defend him. To their credit, the Brides were damn good at what they did, dragging Thor's forces in a grueling stalemate, forcing Thor to go with Plan B. The Custodes used their knowledge of Terra's secret passages to sneak behind the Brides' lines, but rather than kill Vandire themselves they talked with the six leaders of the Brides, most famously Alicia Dominica, and convinced them to talk with the Emperor himself instead of the deluded so-called reincarnation. You can guess how that went, and Dominica ordered her sisters to throw down their arms and let Thor's forces in while she confronted Vandire herself.

	In his final moments Vandire looked as pathetic on the outside as he had always been on the inside: a cranky twitchy old man frantically scrabbling inane orders on balled-up pieces of paper and not even paying attention to the people about to {{BLAM}} him. His last words were said to be: "I don't have time to die! I'm too busy!" In honor of finally killing this guy, the Brides were reformed into the [[Sisters of Battle]].		In his final moments Vandire looked as pathetic on the outside as he had always been on the inside: a cranky twitchy old man frantically scrabbling inane orders on balled-up pieces of paper and not even paying attention to the people about to {{BLAM}} him. His last words were said to be: "I don't have time to die! I'm too busy!" In honor of finally killing this guy, the Brides were reformed into the [[Sisters of Battle]].