Hobbits - Revision history

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2023-06-21T15:04:07Z

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2023-06-19T02:08:00Z

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1d4chan>Lord Grievous at 13:46, 10 June 2023

2023-06-10T13:46:36Z

70.164.67.77: /* Why Hobbits are Awesome */

2023-05-15T17:11:49Z

Why Hobbits are Awesome

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:11, 15 May 2023
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	* Merry and Pippin made the Ents of Fangorn forest realize that they ''needed'' to join the fight against the shadow, which leads directly to the tree-folk marching into Isengard, ripping open its walls like they were made of wet cardboard and knocking Saruman out of the war.		* Merry and Pippin made the Ents of Fangorn forest realize that they ''needed'' to join the fight against the shadow, which leads directly to the tree-folk marching into Isengard, ripping open its walls like they were made of wet cardboard and knocking Saruman out of the war.
	* Samwise Gamgee proved he was awesomeness personified in Cirith Ungol. After entering the valley Frodo got caught and webbed up by Shelob, a gigantic demonic spider that no Orcish or Gondorian warrior had ever managed to seriously injure. Sam was so angered by this creature threatening his friend that he promptly grabbed Sting and attacked her, and the fight's narration told us that he caused her more agony than anything she had ever faced in her life until then. A group of Orcs who showed up after the fight ended were convinced there was a mighty Elven warrior on the loose because ''no one'' had ever injured Shelob that badly before.		* Samwise Gamgee proved he was awesomeness personified in Cirith Ungol. After entering the valley Frodo got caught and webbed up by Shelob, a gigantic demonic spider that no Orcish or Gondorian warrior had ever managed to seriously injure. Sam was so angered by this creature threatening his friend that he promptly grabbed Sting and attacked her, and the fight's narration told us that he caused her more agony than anything she had ever faced in her life until then. A group of Orcs who showed up after the fight ended were convinced there was a mighty Elven warrior on the loose because ''no one'' had ever injured Shelob that badly before.
	** Believing Frodo was dead Sam took the One Ring and readied himself to go to Mount Doom by himself, and naturally, it tried setting its hooks in him as it had done to so many others before him. Everyone, including mighty wizards, Elf queens, and lords of Gondor had all been tempted by the ring and needed a great effort of will to refuse it; and in Boromir's case, failed to resist its siren song. This made it all the more awesome when it tried to corrupt Sam and found the simple Shire gardener was completely immune. Even when he put the damn thing on, the best it could come up with to tempt him was [[FAIL\|an image of Mordor ''covered in flowers'']]!		** Believing Frodo was dead Sam took the One Ring and readied himself to go to Mount Doom by himself, and naturally, it tried setting its hooks in him as it had done to so many others before him. Everyone, including mighty wizards, Elf queens, and lords of Gondor had all been tempted by the ring and needed a great effort of will to refuse it; and in Boromir's case, failed to resist its siren song. This made it all the more awesome when it tried to corrupt Sam and found the simple Shire gardener was completely immune. Even when he put the damn thing on, the best it could come up with to tempt him was [[FAIL\|an image of Mordor ''covered in flowers'']]! Which Sam immediately refused, not just because it was ridiculous, but because he genuinely didn’t want anything more than a plot of land he could work with his own two hands.
	** Upon hearing the orcs say that Frodo wasn't dead, Sam followed them back to their fortress and slaughtered everything in his path like something out of [[Doom]], and by the time he's barely halfway through them the Orcs are convinced what they thought was an elven warrior is actually a mighty Elf ''Lord'' with a huge sword, a ginormous ax, and wielding magical fire. The crowner to all this is when, upon reuniting with Frodo, Sam did something that literally no one in the history of Middle-Earth had ever done before: ''give the One Ring to someone else without the slightest hesitation'' (''some'' hesitation in the PJ movies, but he still gives it back to Frodo in the end). [[Castellan Crowe]] would approve.		** Upon hearing the orcs say that Frodo wasn't dead, Sam followed them back to their fortress and slaughtered everything in his path like something out of [[Doom]], and by the time he's barely halfway through them the Orcs are convinced what they thought was an elven warrior is actually a mighty Elf ''Lord'' with a huge sword, a ginormous ax, and wielding magical fire. The crowner to all this is when, upon reuniting with Frodo, Sam did something that literally no one in the history of Middle-Earth had ever done before: ''give the One Ring to someone else without the slightest hesitation'' (''some'' hesitation in the PJ movies, but he still gives it back to Frodo in the end). [[Castellan Crowe]] would approve.
	* During the battle of the Pelennor Fields Merry snuck up behind the Witch-King of Angmar - who is to Middle-Earth what [[Abaddon the Despoiler]] is to 40k with none of the memetic [[fail]] (or Vardek Crom in Fantasy for a somewhat more accurate comparison) - and shanked him in the leg with the sword he took from the Barrow-Downs, crippling the Nazgul and giving Eowyn the chance to kill it.		* During the battle of the Pelennor Fields Merry snuck up behind the Witch-King of Angmar - who is to Middle-Earth what [[Abaddon the Despoiler]] is to 40k with none of the memetic [[fail]] (or Vardek Crom in Fantasy for a somewhat more accurate comparison) - and shanked him in the leg with the sword he took from the Barrow-Downs, crippling the Nazgul and giving Eowyn the chance to kill it.

1d4chan>A Walrus: /* Why Hobbits are Awesome */

2023-02-16T01:48:22Z

Why Hobbits are Awesome

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:48, 16 February 2023
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	* The Scouring of the Shire, where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin returned to find out that Saruman has been doing everything he can to ruin their home out of pure spite. They're not having any of it, completely disregard what any of the ex-wizard's bullyboys have to say because none of the four consider them a threat in the least, then rally the Hobbits of the Shire to drive him and his lackeys out with their tails between their legs. And by drive them out we mean "handfuls escaped, most turned into pincushions at the cost of a handful hobbits, rest captured" for the Ruffians, and Saruman got his throat slit by Grima who then got shot three times before Frodo could even open his mouth to ask for his surrender.		* The Scouring of the Shire, where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin returned to find out that Saruman has been doing everything he can to ruin their home out of pure spite. They're not having any of it, completely disregard what any of the ex-wizard's bullyboys have to say because none of the four consider them a threat in the least, then rally the Hobbits of the Shire to drive him and his lackeys out with their tails between their legs. And by drive them out we mean "handfuls escaped, most turned into pincushions at the cost of a handful hobbits, rest captured" for the Ruffians, and Saruman got his throat slit by Grima who then got shot three times before Frodo could even open his mouth to ask for his surrender.

	But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building or a rock concert of tens of thousands. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod as he goes by.		But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building, an experiment which changes the way we see the world or a rock concert of tens of thousands absolutely pumped. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod as he goes by.

	Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction in bucolic coziness and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life with loved ones is more than enough.		Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction in bucolic coziness and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life with loved ones is more than enough.

1d4chan>A Walrus: /* Why Hobbits are Awesome */

2023-02-16T01:47:09Z

Why Hobbits are Awesome

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:47, 16 February 2023
Line 77:		Line 77:
	* The Scouring of the Shire, where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin returned to find out that Saruman has been doing everything he can to ruin their home out of pure spite. They're not having any of it, completely disregard what any of the ex-wizard's bullyboys have to say because none of the four consider them a threat in the least, then rally the Hobbits of the Shire to drive him and his lackeys out with their tails between their legs. And by drive them out we mean "handfuls escaped, most turned into pincushions at the cost of a handful hobbits, rest captured" for the Ruffians, and Saruman got his throat slit by Grima who then got shot three times before Frodo could even open his mouth to ask for his surrender.		* The Scouring of the Shire, where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin returned to find out that Saruman has been doing everything he can to ruin their home out of pure spite. They're not having any of it, completely disregard what any of the ex-wizard's bullyboys have to say because none of the four consider them a threat in the least, then rally the Hobbits of the Shire to drive him and his lackeys out with their tails between their legs. And by drive them out we mean "handfuls escaped, most turned into pincushions at the cost of a handful hobbits, rest captured" for the Ruffians, and Saruman got his throat slit by Grima who then got shot three times before Frodo could even open his mouth to ask for his surrender.

	But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building or a rock concert of tens of thousands. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod.		But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building or a rock concert of tens of thousands. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod as he goes by.

	Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction in bucolic coziness and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life with loved ones is more than enough.		Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction in bucolic coziness and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life with loved ones is more than enough.

1d4chan>A Walrus: /* Why Hobbits are Awesome */

2023-02-16T01:46:35Z

Why Hobbits are Awesome

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:46, 16 February 2023
Line 79:		Line 79:
	But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building or a rock concert of tens of thousands. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod.		But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building or a rock concert of tens of thousands. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod.

	Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction in bucolic coziness and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life is more than enough.		Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction in bucolic coziness and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life with loved ones is more than enough.

	==So, why are they on here?==		==So, why are they on here?==

1d4chan>A Walrus: /* Why Hobbits are Awesome */

2023-02-16T01:45:48Z

Why Hobbits are Awesome

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:45, 16 February 2023
Line 79:		Line 79:
	But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building or a rock concert of tens of thousands. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod.		But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building or a rock concert of tens of thousands. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod.

	Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life is more than enough.		Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction in bucolic coziness and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life is more than enough.

	==So, why are they on here?==		==So, why are they on here?==

1d4chan>A Walrus: /* Why Hobbits are Awesome */

2023-02-16T01:44:29Z

Why Hobbits are Awesome

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:44, 16 February 2023
Line 77:		Line 77:
	* The Scouring of the Shire, where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin returned to find out that Saruman has been doing everything he can to ruin their home out of pure spite. They're not having any of it, completely disregard what any of the ex-wizard's bullyboys have to say because none of the four consider them a threat in the least, then rally the Hobbits of the Shire to drive him and his lackeys out with their tails between their legs. And by drive them out we mean "handfuls escaped, most turned into pincushions at the cost of a handful hobbits, rest captured" for the Ruffians, and Saruman got his throat slit by Grima who then got shot three times before Frodo could even open his mouth to ask for his surrender.		* The Scouring of the Shire, where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin returned to find out that Saruman has been doing everything he can to ruin their home out of pure spite. They're not having any of it, completely disregard what any of the ex-wizard's bullyboys have to say because none of the four consider them a threat in the least, then rally the Hobbits of the Shire to drive him and his lackeys out with their tails between their legs. And by drive them out we mean "handfuls escaped, most turned into pincushions at the cost of a handful hobbits, rest captured" for the Ruffians, and Saruman got his throat slit by Grima who then got shot three times before Frodo could even open his mouth to ask for his surrender.

	But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod. Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life is more than enough.		But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess, a victorious army on parade, a towering monumental building or a rock concert of tens of thousands. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod.

			Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life is more than enough.

	==So, why are they on here?==		==So, why are they on here?==

1d4chan>MrPhantom: /* Why Hobbits are Awesome */

2023-02-15T10:57:44Z

Why Hobbits are Awesome

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:57, 15 February 2023
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	* At the Battle of the Black Gate, Pippin fought and killed an Olog-hai - a bigger, stronger, sturdier, more vicious, and more cunning breed of [[troll]] that doesn't turn to stone when exposed to sunlight - to save the life of a friend. This earned him the title of "Trollslayer".		* At the Battle of the Black Gate, Pippin fought and killed an Olog-hai - a bigger, stronger, sturdier, more vicious, and more cunning breed of [[troll]] that doesn't turn to stone when exposed to sunlight - to save the life of a friend. This earned him the title of "Trollslayer".
	* On the slopes of Mount Doom Frodo had finally succumbed to the Ring's corruption and was struggling over it with Gollum when the "other world" that ringbearers saw when they put it on started leaking into the normal world, showing Sam a vision which heavily implied Frodo had enough power and strength of will inside himself to wield the power of a dark lord just like Sauron had instead of being reduced to a neurotic, twisted wretch like Gollum.		* On the slopes of Mount Doom Frodo had finally succumbed to the Ring's corruption and was struggling over it with Gollum when the "other world" that ringbearers saw when they put it on started leaking into the normal world, showing Sam a vision which heavily implied Frodo had enough power and strength of will inside himself to wield the power of a dark lord just like Sauron had instead of being reduced to a neurotic, twisted wretch like Gollum.
	* The Scouring of the Shire, where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin returned to find out that Saruman has been doing everything he can to ruin their home out of pure spite. They're not having any of it, completely disregard what any of the ex-wizard's bullyboys have to say because none of the four consider them a threat in the least, then rally the Hobbits of the Shire to drive him and his lackeys out with their tails between their legs.		* The Scouring of the Shire, where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin returned to find out that Saruman has been doing everything he can to ruin their home out of pure spite. They're not having any of it, completely disregard what any of the ex-wizard's bullyboys have to say because none of the four consider them a threat in the least, then rally the Hobbits of the Shire to drive him and his lackeys out with their tails between their legs. And by drive them out we mean "handfuls escaped, most turned into pincushions at the cost of a handful hobbits, rest captured" for the Ruffians, and Saruman got his throat slit by Grima who then got shot three times before Frodo could even open his mouth to ask for his surrender.

	But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod. Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life is more than enough.		But paradoxically one of the biggest thing thing which most makes Hobbits Awesome is that by the old meaning of the word, they are not. Awesome means "to evoke Awe", something so impressive and imposing that you can't help but be overwhelmed by it in admiration, respect, fear or some combination there-of. What you'd experience in seeing a hero of legendary prowess. This is not the impression you'd get if you saw a short hairy footed guy walking buy with a wheelbarrow full of potatoes smoking a pipe and giving you a friendly smile and nod. Instead in a section of the world there lives a people. They lack the magic and the wisdom of the dawn of days that the Elves have, nor have they carved grand cities from mountains like the Dwarves, nor have they achieved anything like the Greatness of Numenor or Gondor. They have managed to meet their needs to their satisfaction and are comfortable, content and arguably complacent. They are not helpless, but beyond a few exceptions they are still very far removed from Greatness. Even so while they may not be mighty, fearsome, learned or imperious this humble people with their quaint ways still enrich the Song of Creation. One does not need to be Great to be worthwhile, living a good life is more than enough.

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:46, 10 June 2023
Line 17:		Line 17:
	To top it all off Hobbits are, as a rule, very hospitable people. Anyone lucky enough to befriend a Hobbit has probably made the best friend of their life, and probably several others once they're introduced to all of the Hobbit's other friends.		To top it all off Hobbits are, as a rule, very hospitable people. Anyone lucky enough to befriend a Hobbit has probably made the best friend of their life, and probably several others once they're introduced to all of the Hobbit's other friends.

	~~For~~ all their incorruptibility and surprising amounts of courage and resilience in a pinch, Hobbits aren't totally perfect and have some shortcomings: with a few exceptions, their ambitions end at a reasonable home with six meals a day and they have little interest in things outside their collective comfort zone once they manage to set that up. They didn't like or understand any machines more complex than a forge, mill, or loom, and they're so discomfited by water that few of them knew how to swim, and they would have deep misgivings about something as simple as crossing a river. They were so afraid of deep water that the sea eventually became a terrible symbol of death to them, and the Elves' love of it drove a massive wedge between the two peoples. Their idea of a riveting book is something they've already memorized to heart. Finally, Hobbits can, as one might expect from a very insular, closed-off community, be close-minded at times. They frown on adventurers, go-getters, and people who want more out of life than simple comforts, and view such individuals (or folks from the outside like Gandalf who come in encouraging Hobbits to get out of their armchairs and go on a big quest), as troublemakers. So there is an element of conformity to their culture, though even then they aren't generally too pushy about it.		Given the list of examples of Awesome detailed down below, in conjunction with their general purity, one might be tempted to see the Hobbits as something of a Mary Sue race. But for all their incorruptibility and surprising amounts of courage and resilience in a pinch, Hobbits aren't totally perfect and have some shortcomings: with a few exceptions, their ambitions end at a reasonable home with six meals a day and they have little interest in things outside their collective comfort zone once they manage to set that up. They didn't like or understand any machines more complex than a forge, mill, or loom, and they're so discomfited by water that few of them knew how to swim, and they would have deep misgivings about something as simple as crossing a river. They were so afraid of deep water that the sea eventually became a terrible symbol of death to them, and the Elves' love of it drove a massive wedge between the two peoples. Their idea of a riveting book is something they've already memorized to heart. Finally, Hobbits can, as one might expect from a very insular, closed-off community, be close-minded at times. They frown on adventurers, go-getters, and people who want more out of life than simple comforts, and view such individuals (or folks from the outside like Gandalf who come in encouraging Hobbits to get out of their armchairs and go on a big quest), as troublemakers. So there is an element of conformity to their culture, though even then they aren't generally too pushy about it.

	In short, Hobbits will make some superb ales, pies, and mushroom and beef stew in their cozy villages of hobbit holes, but they'll never forge empires, explore new lands, unlock the secrets of the universe, or ascend to the stars, and they're totally cool with this.		In short, Hobbits will make some superb ales, pies, and mushroom and beef stew in their cozy villages of hobbit holes, but they'll never forge empires, explore new lands, unlock the secrets of the universe, or ascend to the stars, and they're totally cool with this.
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	==Races==		==Races==
	It might surprise you to learn that there were distinct racial phenotypes amongst the Hobbits of Middle-Earth, just as there were with the humans there and in real life. The prologue to The Lord of the Rings explains that they had already divided into three distinct ethnic groups before they crossed over the Misty Mountains from the east, mirroring the three tribes of the Angles, Saxons and Jutes the real-world English are descended from: the Harfoots, Stoors, and Fallohides.		It might surprise you to learn that there were distinct racial phenotypes amongst the Hobbits of Middle-Earth, just as there were with the humans there and in real life. The prologue to The Lord of the Rings explains that they had already divided into three distinct ethnic groups before they crossed over the Misty Mountains from the east, mirroring the three tribes of the Angles, Saxons and Jutes the real-world English are descended from: the Harfoots, Stoors, and Fallohides.
	* The Harfoots preferred to live in highlands and hillsides, were smaller, shorter, had a darker skin tone than ~~Other Hobbits~~. They also didn't grow facial hair and preferred to go barefoot. They were the most common variety of Hobbits, the most likely to settle down in one place, and were heavily involved with the Dwarves in Middle-Earth's elder days. These are the ones who populate the Shire.		* The Harfoots preferred to live in highlands and hillsides, were smaller, shorter, and had a darker skin tone than other Hobbit types (though by the War of the Ring most of them appear fairly light-skinned, likely a result of intermingling with members of the other Hobbit types). They also didn't grow facial hair and preferred to go barefoot. They were the most common variety of Hobbits, the most likely to settle down in one place, and were heavily involved with the Dwarves in Middle-Earth's elder days. These are the ones who populate the Shire.
	* The Stoors were broader, heavier in build, and possessed larger hands and feet than other Hobbits. They preferred to live in flatlands and on riversides, and were more likely to interact with Men than the Harfoots. Out of all Hobbits, they were the least afraid of water, and many of them fished and even crewed boats.		* The Stoors were broader, heavier in build, and possessed larger hands and feet than other Hobbits. They preferred to live in flatlands and on riversides, and were more likely to interact with Men than the Harfoots. Out of all Hobbits, they were the least afraid of water, and many of them fished and even crewed boats.
	* The Fallohides lived in the northern areas of Middle-Earth, and were the least numerous. They were taller and slimmer than other Hobbits and possessed fairer skin and hair than the Stoors and Harfoots. They loved trees and woodlands, preferred hunting to farming, had more skill with language and song than they did handicraft, and were more friendly with Elves than other Hobbits. Being a bold and adventurous bunch, they could often be found in the role of clan leaders and chieftains among groups of Harfoots and Stoors, and the greater families of the Shire such as the Tooks and Masters of Buckland had Fallohide blood.		* The Fallohides lived in the northern areas of Middle-Earth, and were the least numerous. They were taller and slimmer than other Hobbits and possessed fairer skin and hair than the Stoors and Harfoots. They loved trees and woodlands, preferred hunting to farming, had more skill with language and song than they did handicraft, and were more friendly with Elves than other Hobbits. Being a bold and adventurous bunch, they could often be found in the role of clan leaders and chieftains among groups of Harfoots and Stoors, and the greater families of the Shire such as the Tooks and Masters of Buckland had Fallohide blood.

	===The Gollum===		===The Gollum===
	The closest thing that Middle-Earth has ever seen to an evil hobbit is a twisted little wretch called "Gollum", after the gagging, choking noise he developed a habit of making for no discernable reason. Originally, the Gollum was a Stoor hobbit by the name of Smeagol, until the day he and his cousin Deagol were out fishing in the Gladden Fields north of their mountainous home. There, Deagol fished up Sauron's One Ring, and upon seeing it, Smeagol was instantly smitten with it. He demanded that Deagol give it to him as a birthday present, and when Deagol refused, Smeagol choked the life from his cousin and took it. Almost at once, he became a slinking little thief, and whilst he claimed that Deagol had fallen into the river and drowned, Smeagol's family suspicions combined with his antics soon saw them drive him out of their home.		The closest thing that Middle-Earth has ever seen to an evil hobbit (well, give or take the Sackville-Bagginses), is a twisted little wretch called "Gollum", after the gagging, choking noise he developed a habit of making for no discernable reason. Originally, the Gollum was a Stoor hobbit by the name of Smeagol, until the day he and his cousin Deagol were out fishing in the Gladden Fields north of their mountainous home. There, Deagol fished up Sauron's One Ring, and upon seeing it, Smeagol was instantly smitten with it. He demanded that Deagol give it to him as a birthday present, and when Deagol refused, Smeagol choked the life from his cousin and took it. Almost at once, he became a slinking little thief, and whilst he claimed that Deagol had fallen into the river and drowned, Smeagol's family suspicions combined with his antics soon saw them drive him out of their home.

	Fleeing into the [[goblin]]-infested caves of the Misty Mountains, Smeagol quickly went mad and degenerated into a wiry little [[troglodyte]], shunning the light and feasting cannibalistically on anything he could catch, be it raw cave fish or unwitting goblins. Whilst he made heavy use of the One Ring's power of invisibility at first, over the centuries he became incredibly stealthy in his own right, and took to hunting without it. His gurgling cough became the only warning sign of his presence, and the surviving goblins took to calling him "Gollum" after it.		Fleeing into the [[goblin]]-infested caves of the Misty Mountains, Smeagol quickly went mad and degenerated into a wiry little [[troglodyte]], shunning the light and feasting cannibalistically on anything he could catch, be it raw cave fish or unwitting goblins. Whilst he made heavy use of the One Ring's power of invisibility at first, over the centuries he became incredibly stealthy in his own right, and took to hunting without it. His gurgling cough became the only warning sign of his presence, and the surviving goblins took to calling him "Gollum" after it.
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	Put bluntly, Hobbits don't like fighting. Being a peaceful and rural people whose greatest ambitions usually end with a lot of good food and a comfortable nap, they're thoroughly disinterested in any of this "glory", "honor," and "adventure" nonsense the tall folk are so fond of, and also tend to scorn adventure as a rule. They also weren't people who killed for sport, only going hunting when they needed to. Combined with their sheltered existence, this mentality caused them to believe Middle-earth was a peaceful place with plenty for everyone to enjoy life, and that peace and plenty were the right of all sensible folk to have. Obviously, this is a dangerously misinformed view, but in the Hobbit's defense, this attitude was encouraged by the fact that the Shire, one of the largest Hobbit-inhabited areas in Middle-Earth, was basically a pastoral paradise where the weather tended to be mild and packs of hungry wolves roaming the countryside were only heard of in old tales from their grandfathers. Needless to say, they were quite surprised to learn that beyond the borders of the Shire there were entire armies of violent Orcs and men lead by evil overlords who wanted to conquer the world.		Put bluntly, Hobbits don't like fighting. Being a peaceful and rural people whose greatest ambitions usually end with a lot of good food and a comfortable nap, they're thoroughly disinterested in any of this "glory", "honor," and "adventure" nonsense the tall folk are so fond of, and also tend to scorn adventure as a rule. They also weren't people who killed for sport, only going hunting when they needed to. Combined with their sheltered existence, this mentality caused them to believe Middle-earth was a peaceful place with plenty for everyone to enjoy life, and that peace and plenty were the right of all sensible folk to have. Obviously, this is a dangerously misinformed view, but in the Hobbit's defense, this attitude was encouraged by the fact that the Shire, one of the largest Hobbit-inhabited areas in Middle-Earth, was basically a pastoral paradise where the weather tended to be mild and packs of hungry wolves roaming the countryside were only heard of in old tales from their grandfathers. Needless to say, they were quite surprised to learn that beyond the borders of the Shire there were entire armies of violent Orcs and men lead by evil overlords who wanted to conquer the world.

	This might lead some to believe that Hobbits are weak and easily pushed around, easy prey for a would-be conqueror or a band of raiders looking to make sport of them. This is only ''kind of'' true though. While obviously not good in melee combat as a rule and no match for most members of the bigger races in a direct fight, this does not make the Hobbits helpless. The Shire was only invaded twice in recorded history, but both times it ended very, ''very'' badly for the invaders, who learned a very painful lesson on how "peaceful" and "avoids violence" doesn't mean "helpless". Back in the days before the Shire was established the world was a rather harsh place where the Hobbits needed to fight to defend themselves, and if they were as weak and soft as they appear at first glance then they never would have survived until the present day.		This might lead some to believe that Hobbits are weak and easily pushed around, easy prey for a would-be conqueror or a band of raiders looking to make sport of them. This is only ''kind of'' true though. While obviously not good in melee combat as a rule and no match for most members of the bigger races in a direct fight, this does not make the Hobbits helpless. The Shire was only invaded twice in recorded history, but both times it ended very, ''very'' badly for the invaders, who learned a very painful lesson on how "peaceful" and "avoids violence" doesn't mean "helpless". Back in the days before the Shire was established the world was a rather harsh place where the Hobbits needed to fight to defend themselves, and if they were as weak and soft as they appear at first glance then they never would have survived until the present day. And while it is certainly the case that the armies of Mordor or Isengard would have steamrolled them given the chance, bear in mind that those were the same factions whose might posed a threat to the entirety of Middle-Earth and who almost overran the greatest kingdoms of Men.

	Hobbits make perfect scouts, thieves, archers, and ambushers due to their agility, keen eyesight, excellent hand-eye coordination, and preternatural aptitude for sneaking and not being found when they don't want to be. Like their cousins, Men, Hobbits have crazy good aim when shooting and throwing things, and are perfectly capable of hurling a stone with enough force to break someone's head open. And despite what we said above, they can be surprisingly effective in melee combat, usually when fighting to protect someone they care about, as they can use their small size, speed, and deceptive stealth to catch enemies off-guard. It also bears mentioning that Bandobras "the Bullroarer" Took, one of Pippin's great great great something grand uncles, invented golf by literally knocking the then Goblin King's head off with a warhammer and having it land in a hole like a good fifty meters away (or at least, that's how the story goes).		Hobbits make perfect scouts, thieves, archers, and ambushers due to their agility, keen eyesight, excellent hand-eye coordination, and preternatural aptitude for sneaking and not being found when they don't want to be. Like their cousins, Men, Hobbits have crazy good aim when shooting and throwing things, and are perfectly capable of hurling a stone with enough force to break someone's head open. And despite what we said above, they can be surprisingly effective in melee combat, usually when fighting to protect someone they care about, as they can use their small size, speed, and deceptive stealth to catch enemies off-guard. It also bears mentioning that Bandobras "the Bullroarer" Took, one of Pippin's great great great something grand uncles, invented golf by literally knocking the then Goblin King's head off with a warhammer and having it land in a hole like a good fifty meters away (or at least, that's how the story goes).