Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer - Revision history

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2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:D0CE:2E1B:F4C:B99C at 17:07, 6 June 2023

2023-06-06T17:07:19Z

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2601:204:201:9A00:7CF9:CD97:DBD9:412: /* Actual Contents of Value */

2023-05-29T02:16:23Z

Actual Contents of Value

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:16, 29 May 2023
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	==Actual Contents of Value==		==Actual Contents of Value==
	Despite much of the above (and a lot of what the above lists is ''not'' exaggeration), the Primer actually has a great deal of genuinely useful information in it. Included useful segments include:		Despite much of the above (and a lot of what the above lists is ''not'' exaggeration), the Primer actually has a great deal of genuinely useful information in it. Included useful segments include:
	* How to take care of your weapon and equipment. Sure, it's only a [[Lasgun\|~~flashlight~~]], but it still beats trying to go at [[Orks\|basically]] [[Tyranids\|anything]] [[Chaos Space Marines\|that can]] [[Necron\|Come up]] [[Eldar\|in front]] ([[Dark Eldar\|or behind]]) [[Chaos Daemons\|the Guard]] hand-to-hand with a knife.		* How to take care of your weapon and equipment. Sure, it's only a [[Lasgun\|lasgun]], but it still beats trying to go at [[Orks\|basically]] [[Tyranids\|anything]] [[Chaos Space Marines\|that can]] [[Necron\|Come up]] [[Eldar\|in front]] ([[Dark Eldar\|or behind]]) [[Chaos Daemons\|the Guard]] hand-to-hand with a knife.
	* The "First Aid" section. Sure, a direct hit from most weapons in 40k will kill a Guardsman outright or make him wish he was dead. Nevertheless, ensuring every grunt knows the basics of how to bind a wound or move a casualty without harming him further gives those that are still alive better chances to <s>survive</s> die gloriously for the God-Emperor of Mankind in another engagement.		* The "First Aid" section. Sure, a direct hit from most weapons in 40k will kill a Guardsman outright or make him wish he was dead. Nevertheless, ensuring every grunt knows the basics of how to bind a wound or move a casualty without harming him further gives those that are still alive better chances to <s>survive</s> die gloriously for the God-Emperor of Mankind in another engagement.
	* Numerous prayers and hymnals to the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], and how to placate your gear's [[Machine Spirit]].		* Numerous prayers and hymnals to the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], and how to placate your gear's [[Machine Spirit]].

1d4chan>Derpysaurus at 03:42, 18 January 2023

2023-01-18T03:42:09Z

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	*[[Imperial Munitorum Manual]] - The more competent brother of the Primer.		*[[Imperial Munitorum Manual]] - The more competent brother of the Primer.
			*[[The Field Ordnance Battery & You]] - The Uplifting Primer's version of heavy artillery and the Munitorum Manual's dumber brother.
	*[https://regimental-standard.com The Regimental Standard]. A spiritual successor of sorts to the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer from Games-Workshop that's updated weekly and free-to-read (because it's also product placement for Warhammer 40k products), that presents itself as an in-universe weekly magazine for the front trooper, not unlike military newspapers like the US-American The Stars and Stripes. Still funny enough on its own merits to be worth reading anyway. (Like, for example, an entire unit of artillery crew getting drugged up, strapping bayonets to their Basilisks and charging some Orks.) The main comedic value stems from the holes it indirectly pokes into the whole ludicrous grimdarkness of the 40k universe, a lot of dark humour and how GW pokes fun at itself, thanks to the new management.		*[https://regimental-standard.com The Regimental Standard]. A spiritual successor of sorts to the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer from Games-Workshop that's updated weekly and free-to-read (because it's also product placement for Warhammer 40k products), that presents itself as an in-universe weekly magazine for the front trooper, not unlike military newspapers like the US-American The Stars and Stripes. Still funny enough on its own merits to be worth reading anyway. (Like, for example, an entire unit of artillery crew getting drugged up, strapping bayonets to their Basilisks and charging some Orks.) The main comedic value stems from the holes it indirectly pokes into the whole ludicrous grimdarkness of the 40k universe, a lot of dark humour and how GW pokes fun at itself, thanks to the new management.
	** Quite wonderful. Absolute first thing I saw was "How to Eat Your Boots!"		** Quite wonderful. Absolute first thing I saw was "How to Eat Your Boots!"

115.70.44.117: /* Severely Understated "Information" */

2023-01-17T16:53:12Z

Severely Understated "Information"

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:53, 17 January 2023
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	This Book basically tells the infantryman that his [[lasgun\|weapons]] are the best in the [[41st millennium\|universe]] and WILL kill most things with ONE shot (possible but unlikely). It also tells such helpful things like:		This Book basically tells the infantryman that his [[lasgun\|weapons]] are the best in the [[41st millennium\|universe]] and WILL kill most things with ONE shot (possible but unlikely). It also tells such helpful things like:

	* ''[[Eldar]] technology is pathetically antiquated and inferior to standard-issue Imperial Guard equipment, and shuriken weapons are unable to penetrate flak armour. Eldar are decadent and physically frail and not meant for real combat.'' Shuriken weapons are one of the few "standard-issue" weapons in the setting that can reliably penetrate Astartes armour, and so will actually go through your flak armour like razor wire through warm cheese. That's not even getting into the more exotic stuff, like the Warp Spider Death Spinner, which is capable of ''liquifying'' a grown man with one shot; cover and armour does bugger-all to protect from it. Or the Dark Eldar ~~weapons so poisonous~~, a tiny scratch can ~~be crippling or deadly~~. And tell that second part to the Swordwind of Biel-tan, even the humblest of them may have literally centuries of combat experience over you. Any Wych or Howling Banshee worth her salt would kill you before you could even react the moment they got within blade's reach ~~(and can possibly dodge any shots you manage to fire off at them)~~. Don't even get us started on [[Harlequins]]; one of them killed Custodes in personal combat and ''made it look easy''.		* ''[[Eldar]] technology is pathetically antiquated and inferior to standard-issue Imperial Guard equipment, and shuriken weapons are unable to penetrate flak armour. Eldar are decadent and physically frail and not meant for real combat.'' Shuriken weapons are one of the few "standard-issue" weapons in the setting that can reliably penetrate Astartes armour, and so will actually go through your flak armour like razor wire through warm cheese. That's not even getting into the more exotic stuff, like the Warp Spider Death Spinner, which is capable of ''liquifying'' a grown man with one shot; cover and armour does bugger-all to protect from it. Or the Dark Eldar Shardcarbine, which fires splinters filled with such potent poison a tiny scratch can mean agonizing death. And tell that second part to the Swordwind of Biel-tan, even the humblest of them may have literally centuries of combat experience over you. Any Wych or Howling Banshee worth her salt would kill you before you could even react the moment they got within blade's reach. Don't even get us started on [[Harlequins]]; one of them killed Custodes in personal combat and ''made it look easy''.

	* ''[[Orks]] are smaller and weaker than humans with brittle bones and weak muscles, and they are painfully stupid''. True, the average Ork is a vegetable (in both senses), but the bigger ones like Warbosses and Kommandos are capable of an animalistic cunning that can often catch veteran Guardsmen off-guard, not to mention the built-in technical expertise that Mekboys have. But do you know what the average Ork can do? Rip a man limb from limb with his bare hands. They're also at least a head taller and twice as wide as the average human. And Orks have been known to continue fighting despite being dismembered beyond recognition - even decapitation can be fixed with surgery if it's timely enough, and undergo invasive medical procedures that make 19th Century meatgrinder surgery look comparatively advanced.		* ''[[Orks]] are smaller and weaker than humans with brittle bones and weak muscles, and they are painfully stupid''. True, the average Ork is a vegetable (in both senses), but the bigger ones like Warbosses and Kommandos are capable of an animalistic cunning that can often catch veteran Guardsmen off-guard, not to mention the built-in technical expertise that Mekboys have. But do you know what the average Ork can do? Rip a man limb from limb with his bare hands. They're also at least a head taller and twice as wide as the average human. And Orks have been known to continue fighting despite being dismembered beyond recognition - even decapitation can be fixed with surgery if it's timely enough, and undergo invasive medical procedures that make 19th Century meatgrinder surgery look comparatively advanced.

	* ''[[Tau]] are herbivorous animals that are scared by loud noises and frightened by hairy people, and possibly incapable of mathematics and science.'' Erm, the Tau have a lovely thing called a Railgun, which uses electromagnetically-induced force to accelerate a solid projectile at hypersonic speeds and hits with enough force to not only punch through the frontal armour of a Leman Russ tank but also actually ''suck the crew out through the exit hole'', leaving a 30ft streak of gore trailing behind the vehicle and issues a sonic boom loud enough to be a weapon ~~if you're close enough~~. The standard-issue gear your Fire Caste opponents take into battle is much, much more advanced than anything you will realistically acquire, and you have to ascend quite high up the regimental hierarchy to find anything that quite compares. Next to a pulse rifle, your lasgun may as well for all the world be an actual Nerf gun. Though the Tau aren't bothered by hair and have some themselves, the thing about them being herbivores is actually true.		* ''[[Tau]] are herbivorous animals that are scared by loud noises and frightened by hairy people, and possibly incapable of mathematics and science.'' Erm, the Tau have a lovely thing called a Railgun, which uses electromagnetically induced force to accelerate a solid projectile at hypersonic speeds and hits with enough force to not only punch through the frontal armour of a Leman Russ tank but also actually ''suck the crew out through the exit hole'', leaving a 30ft streak of gore trailing behind the vehicle and issues a sonic boom loud enough to be a weapon. The standard-issue gear your Fire Caste opponents take into battle is much, much more advanced than anything you will realistically acquire, and you have to ascend quite high up the regimental hierarchy to find anything that quite compares. Next to a pulse rifle, your lasgun may as well for all the world be an actual Nerf gun. Though the Tau aren't bothered by hair and have some themselves, the thing about them being herbivores is actually true.

	* ''[[Genestealers]] are slow, sluggish, and having blunt-tipped claws'' (sic). To which every [[Terminator]] Marine in the galaxy either promptly laughed his ass off or suffered a rage aneurysm from the sheer stupidity of that statement. They routinely get surprised and ripped to shreds by Genestealers inside [[space hulk]]s. Terminator armour offers no protection against their claws at all, and they can cut through reinforced ship bulkheads with alarming ease. They also outpace Space Marines and rival Eldar for speed. A Genestealer would lunge and rip an ordinary human soldier to shreds, flak armor and all, before he could even blink.		* ''[[Genestealers]] are slow, sluggish, and having blunt-tipped claws'' (sic). To which every [[Terminator]] Marine in the galaxy either promptly laughed his ass off or suffered a rage aneurysm from the sheer stupidity of that statement. They routinely get surprised and ripped to shreds by Genestealers inside [[space hulk]]s. Terminator armour offers no protection against their claws at all, and they can cut through reinforced ship bulkheads with alarming ease. They also outpace Space Marines and rival Eldar for speed. A Genestealer would lunge and rip an ordinary human soldier to shreds, flak armor and all, before he could even blink.

115.70.44.117: /* Severely Understated "Information" */

2023-01-06T18:39:42Z

Severely Understated "Information"

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:39, 6 January 2023
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	This Book basically tells the infantryman that his [[lasgun\|weapons]] are the best in the [[41st millennium\|universe]] and WILL kill most things with ONE shot (possible but unlikely). It also tells such helpful things like:		This Book basically tells the infantryman that his [[lasgun\|weapons]] are the best in the [[41st millennium\|universe]] and WILL kill most things with ONE shot (possible but unlikely). It also tells such helpful things like:

	* ''[[Eldar]] technology is pathetically antiquated and inferior to standard-issue Imperial Guard equipment, and shuriken weapons are unable to penetrate flak armour. Eldar are decadent and physically frail and not meant for real combat.'' Shuriken weapons are one of the few "standard-issue" weapons in the setting that can reliably penetrate Astartes armour, and so will actually go through your flak armour like razor wire through warm cheese. That's not even getting into the more exotic stuff, like the Warp Spider Death Spinner, which is capable of ''liquifying'' a grown man with one shot; cover and armour does bugger-all to protect from it. And tell that second part to the Swordwind of Biel-tan, even the humblest of them may have literally centuries of combat experience over you. Any Wych or Howling Banshee worth her salt would kill you before you could even react the moment they got within blade's reach (and can possibly dodge any shots you manage to fire off at them). Don't even get us started on [[Harlequins]]; one of them killed Custodes in personal combat and ''made it look easy''.		* ''[[Eldar]] technology is pathetically antiquated and inferior to standard-issue Imperial Guard equipment, and shuriken weapons are unable to penetrate flak armour. Eldar are decadent and physically frail and not meant for real combat.'' Shuriken weapons are one of the few "standard-issue" weapons in the setting that can reliably penetrate Astartes armour, and so will actually go through your flak armour like razor wire through warm cheese. That's not even getting into the more exotic stuff, like the Warp Spider Death Spinner, which is capable of ''liquifying'' a grown man with one shot; cover and armour does bugger-all to protect from it. Or the Dark Eldar weapons so poisonous, a tiny scratch can be crippling or deadly. And tell that second part to the Swordwind of Biel-tan, even the humblest of them may have literally centuries of combat experience over you. Any Wych or Howling Banshee worth her salt would kill you before you could even react the moment they got within blade's reach (and can possibly dodge any shots you manage to fire off at them). Don't even get us started on [[Harlequins]]; one of them killed Custodes in personal combat and ''made it look easy''.

	* ''[[Orks]] are smaller and weaker than humans with brittle bones and weak muscles, and they are painfully stupid''. True, the average Ork is a vegetable (in both senses), but the bigger ones like Warbosses and Kommandos are capable of an animalistic cunning that can often catch veteran Guardsmen off-guard, not to mention the built-in technical expertise that Mekboys have. But do you know what the average Ork can do? Rip a man limb from limb with his bare hands. They're also at least a head taller and twice as wide as the average human. And Orks have been known to continue fighting despite being dismembered beyond recognition - even decapitation can be fixed with surgery if it's timely enough, and undergo invasive medical procedures that make 19th Century meatgrinder surgery look comparatively advanced.		* ''[[Orks]] are smaller and weaker than humans with brittle bones and weak muscles, and they are painfully stupid''. True, the average Ork is a vegetable (in both senses), but the bigger ones like Warbosses and Kommandos are capable of an animalistic cunning that can often catch veteran Guardsmen off-guard, not to mention the built-in technical expertise that Mekboys have. But do you know what the average Ork can do? Rip a man limb from limb with his bare hands. They're also at least a head taller and twice as wide as the average human. And Orks have been known to continue fighting despite being dismembered beyond recognition - even decapitation can be fixed with surgery if it's timely enough, and undergo invasive medical procedures that make 19th Century meatgrinder surgery look comparatively advanced.

115.70.44.117 at 18:33, 6 January 2023

2023-01-06T18:33:30Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:33, 6 January 2023
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	For an experienced Guard veteran, the only comfort that the primer provides is in cleaning up after a visit to the restroom and MSTing when the [[Commissar]] isn't around. (Seriously, it's canon according to the "15 Hours" novel.) For reasons, why, see "Severly Understated" below.		For an experienced Guard veteran, the only comfort that the primer provides is in cleaning up after a visit to the restroom and MSTing when the [[Commissar]] isn't around. (Seriously, it's canon according to the "15 Hours" novel.) For reasons, why, see "Severly Understated" below.

	The saddest irony is that with a little spindoctoring, this overpriced toilet paper could be both uplifting AND genuinely educational to the average guardsman about who he'll be facing. Orks have the aim of a blind squirrel and rarely go quieter than a moderately loud shout. Tau are super-slow to react in melee and are even more dependent on the chain of command than guardsmen themselves. Eldar ~~have ZERO defensive capabilities apart from~~ "~~just blindfire or~~ run". [[Tyranids]] [[Bolter\|are]] [[Flamer\|highly]] [[Meltagun\|flammable]]. Etc.		The saddest irony is that with a little spindoctoring, this overpriced toilet paper could be both uplifting AND genuinely educational to the average guardsman about who he'll be facing. Orks have the aim of a blind squirrel and rarely go quieter than a moderately loud shout. Tau are super-slow to react in melee and are even more dependent on the chain of command than guardsmen themselves. Eldar really love "hit and run" and don't like battles of attrition. [[Tyranids]] [[Bolter\|are]] [[Flamer\|highly]] [[Meltagun\|flammable]]. Etc.

	Although it could be argued that is the whole purpose of the primer. Freedom of print is relatively spotty in the God-Emperor's realm but if most people knew the truth about the Imperium's enemies and just how outmatched guardsmen are, they'd never join. Few regiments of the IG are without a veteran cadre that would be quick to explain to the FNGs (Frakking New Guys) the grim reality of the situation. As such, the Primer is there to encourage people to join and boost their morale. In the Imperium's eyes, they only need to last until they get attacked by the enemy. The "weak" get culled and the "strong" survive.		Although it could be argued that is the whole purpose of the primer. Freedom of print is relatively spotty in the God-Emperor's realm but if most people knew the truth about the Imperium's enemies and just how outmatched guardsmen are, they'd never join. Few regiments of the IG are without a veteran cadre that would be quick to explain to the FNGs (Frakking New Guys) the grim reality of the situation. As such, the Primer is there to encourage people to join and boost their morale. In the Imperium's eyes, they only need to last until they get attacked by the enemy. The "weak" get culled and the "strong" survive.

115.70.44.117 at 18:30, 6 January 2023

2023-01-06T18:30:22Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:30, 6 January 2023
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	[[Image:ImpInfPrimer.jpg\|thumb\|right\|200px\|Behold! Your standard issued toilet paper.]]		[[Image:ImpInfPrimer.jpg\|thumb\|right\|200px\|Behold! Your standard issued toilet paper.]]

	The '''Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer''' is the standard book carried by ALL [[Imperial Guard\|Imperial Guardsmen]]. The book, like the steel balls, is standard issue to all recruits. Failure to present it upon request may result in [[Blam\|getting shot]]. Good luck trying to actually own a real life copy though - it is more expensive than a Leman Russ, just for a used copy. Although, you could get lucky and find ''The Imperial Infantryman's Handbook'' for almost half that price at Barnes and Noble - it includes the Imperial Munitorum Manual as well as the Uplifting Primer in a single book. It also has a nifty little section of pink pages in the back titled ''The Benedictions of the Emperor, Inspiration Source and Uplifting Creeds for all Infantryman''.		The '''Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer''' is the standard book carried by ALL [[Imperial Guard\|Imperial Guardsmen]]. The book, like the steel balls, is standard issue to all recruits. Failure to present it upon request may result in [[Blam\|getting shot]]. Good luck trying to actually own a real life copy though - it is more expensive than a Leman Russ, just for a used copy. Although, you could get lucky and find ''The Imperial Infantryman's Handbook'' for almost half that price at Barnes and Noble - it includes the Imperial Munitorum Manual as well as the Uplifting Primer in a single book. It also has a nifty little section of pink pages in the back titled ''The Benedictions of the Emperor, Inspiration Source and Uplifting Creeds for all Infantryman''.

	This Book basically tells the infantryman that his [[lasgun\|weapons]] are the best in the [[41st millennium\|universe]] and WILL kill most things with ONE shot (possible but unlikely). It also tells such helpful things like:		For an experienced Guard veteran, the only comfort that the primer provides is in cleaning up after a visit to the restroom and MSTing when the [[Commissar]] isn't around. (Seriously, it's canon according to the "15 Hours" novel.) For reasons, why, see "Severly Understated" below.
	* ''[[Eldar]] technology is pathetically antiquated and inferior to standard-issue Imperial Guard equipment, and shuriken weapons are unable to penetrate flak armour. Eldar are decadent and physically frail and not meant for real combat.'' Shuriken weapons are one of the few "standard-issue" weapons in the setting that can reliably penetrate Astartes armour, and so will actually go through your flak armour like razor wire through warm cheese. That's not even getting into the more exotic stuff, like the Warp Spider Death Spinner, which is capable of ''liquifying'' a grown man with one shot; cover and armour does bugger-all to protect from it. And tell that second part to the Swordwind of Biel-tan, even the humblest of them may have literally centuries of combat experience over you. Any Wych or Howling Banshee worth her salt would kill you before you could even react the moment they got within arm's reach. Don't even get us started on [[Harlequins]], one of them killed Custodes in personal combat and ''made it look easy''.
	* ''[[Orks]] are smaller and weaker than humans with brittle bones and weak muscles, and they are painfully stupid''. True, the average Ork is a vegetable (in both senses), but the bigger ones like Warbosses and Kommandos are capable of an animalistic cunning that can often catch veteran Guardsmen off-guard, not to mention the built-in technical expertise that Mekboys have. But do you know what the average Ork can do? Rip a man limb from limb with his bare hands. And Orks have been known to continue fighting despite being dismembered beyond recognition, and undergo invasive medical procedures that make 19th Century meatgrinder surgery look comparatively advanced.
	* ''[[Tau]] are herbivorous animals that are scared by loud noises and frightened by hairy people, and possibly incapable of mathematics and science.'' Erm, the Tau have a lovely thing called a Railgun, which uses electromagnetically-induced force to accelerate a solid projectile at hypersonic speeds and hits with enough force to not only punch through the frontal armour of a Leman Russ tank but also actually ''suck the crew out through the exit hole'', leaving a 30ft streak of gore trailing behind the vehicle. The standard-issue gear your Fire Caste opponents take into battle is much, much more advanced than anything you will realistically acquire, and you have to ascend quite high up the regimental hierarchy to find anything that quite compares. Next to a pulse rifle, your lasgun may as well for all the world be an actual Nerf gun. The thing about them being herbivores is actually true.
	* ''[[Genestealers]] are slow, sluggish, and having blunt-tipped claws'' (sic). To which every [[Terminator]] Marine in the galaxy either promptly laughed his ass off or suffered a rage aneurysm from the sheer stupidity of that statement. They routinely get surprised and ripped to shreds by Genestealers inside [[space hulk]]s. Terminator armour offers no protection against their claws at all, and they can cut through reinforced ship bulkheads with alarming ease. They would lunge and decapitate an ordinary human soldier before he could even blink.

	For an experienced Guard veteran, the only comfort that the primer provides is in cleaning up after a visit to the restroom and MSTing when the [[Commissar]] isn't around. (Seriously, it's canon according to the "15 Hours" novel.)

	The saddest irony is that with a little spindoctoring, this overpriced toilet paper could be both uplifting AND genuinely educational to the average guardsman about who he'll be facing. Orks have the aim of a blind squirrel and rarely go quieter than a moderately loud shout. Tau are super-slow to react in melee and are even more dependent on the chain of command than guardsmen themselves. Eldar have ZERO defensive capabilities apart from "just blindfire or run". [[Tyranids]] [[Bolter\|are]] [[Flamer\|highly]] [[Meltagun\|flammable]]. Etc.		The saddest irony is that with a little spindoctoring, this overpriced toilet paper could be both uplifting AND genuinely educational to the average guardsman about who he'll be facing. Orks have the aim of a blind squirrel and rarely go quieter than a moderately loud shout. Tau are super-slow to react in melee and are even more dependent on the chain of command than guardsmen themselves. Eldar have ZERO defensive capabilities apart from "just blindfire or run". [[Tyranids]] [[Bolter\|are]] [[Flamer\|highly]] [[Meltagun\|flammable]]. Etc.
Line 16:		Line 10:

	There's also this one page that has a blank square and the caption "KEEP THIS SPACE CLEAR. DO NOT DEFACE ON PAIN OF DEATH." Every single book, sans <strike>misprints</strike> [[Blam\|forgeries]], has a smudge inside the square.		There's also this one page that has a blank square and the caption "KEEP THIS SPACE CLEAR. DO NOT DEFACE ON PAIN OF DEATH." Every single book, sans <strike>misprints</strike> [[Blam\|forgeries]], has a smudge inside the square.

			==Severely Understated "Information"==

			This Book basically tells the infantryman that his [[lasgun\|weapons]] are the best in the [[41st millennium\|universe]] and WILL kill most things with ONE shot (possible but unlikely). It also tells such helpful things like:

			* ''[[Eldar]] technology is pathetically antiquated and inferior to standard-issue Imperial Guard equipment, and shuriken weapons are unable to penetrate flak armour. Eldar are decadent and physically frail and not meant for real combat.'' Shuriken weapons are one of the few "standard-issue" weapons in the setting that can reliably penetrate Astartes armour, and so will actually go through your flak armour like razor wire through warm cheese. That's not even getting into the more exotic stuff, like the Warp Spider Death Spinner, which is capable of ''liquifying'' a grown man with one shot; cover and armour does bugger-all to protect from it. And tell that second part to the Swordwind of Biel-tan, even the humblest of them may have literally centuries of combat experience over you. Any Wych or Howling Banshee worth her salt would kill you before you could even react the moment they got within blade's reach (and can possibly dodge any shots you manage to fire off at them). Don't even get us started on [[Harlequins]]; one of them killed Custodes in personal combat and ''made it look easy''.

			* ''[[Orks]] are smaller and weaker than humans with brittle bones and weak muscles, and they are painfully stupid''. True, the average Ork is a vegetable (in both senses), but the bigger ones like Warbosses and Kommandos are capable of an animalistic cunning that can often catch veteran Guardsmen off-guard, not to mention the built-in technical expertise that Mekboys have. But do you know what the average Ork can do? Rip a man limb from limb with his bare hands. They're also at least a head taller and twice as wide as the average human. And Orks have been known to continue fighting despite being dismembered beyond recognition - even decapitation can be fixed with surgery if it's timely enough, and undergo invasive medical procedures that make 19th Century meatgrinder surgery look comparatively advanced.

			* ''[[Tau]] are herbivorous animals that are scared by loud noises and frightened by hairy people, and possibly incapable of mathematics and science.'' Erm, the Tau have a lovely thing called a Railgun, which uses electromagnetically-induced force to accelerate a solid projectile at hypersonic speeds and hits with enough force to not only punch through the frontal armour of a Leman Russ tank but also actually ''suck the crew out through the exit hole'', leaving a 30ft streak of gore trailing behind the vehicle and issues a sonic boom loud enough to be a weapon if you're close enough. The standard-issue gear your Fire Caste opponents take into battle is much, much more advanced than anything you will realistically acquire, and you have to ascend quite high up the regimental hierarchy to find anything that quite compares. Next to a pulse rifle, your lasgun may as well for all the world be an actual Nerf gun. Though the Tau aren't bothered by hair and have some themselves, the thing about them being herbivores is actually true.

			* ''[[Genestealers]] are slow, sluggish, and having blunt-tipped claws'' (sic). To which every [[Terminator]] Marine in the galaxy either promptly laughed his ass off or suffered a rage aneurysm from the sheer stupidity of that statement. They routinely get surprised and ripped to shreds by Genestealers inside [[space hulk]]s. Terminator armour offers no protection against their claws at all, and they can cut through reinforced ship bulkheads with alarming ease. They also outpace Space Marines and rival Eldar for speed. A Genestealer would lunge and rip an ordinary human soldier to shreds, flak armor and all, before he could even blink.

	== Damocles Gulf Edition ==		== Damocles Gulf Edition ==

115.70.44.117: /* Actual Contents of Value */

2023-01-06T18:18:08Z

Actual Contents of Value

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:18, 6 January 2023
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	* [[Humanity Fuck Yeah\|Why humanity is the rightful heir to the universe,]] [[Skub\|and thus how purging xenos and heretics is doing the Emperor's work.]]		* [[Humanity Fuck Yeah\|Why humanity is the rightful heir to the universe,]] [[Skub\|and thus how purging xenos and heretics is doing the Emperor's work.]]
	* [[Grimdark\|A death notice to be filled out by the trooper's commander and/or Commissar, to speed up informing the next of kin to the trooper's inevitable and almost certainly horrible demise.]]		* [[Grimdark\|A death notice to be filled out by the trooper's commander and/or Commissar, to speed up informing the next of kin to the trooper's inevitable and almost certainly horrible demise.]]
	* Grimdark as the whole thing is, once you get past the rules and numerous punishable-by-death infractions, it's a surprisingly ''hopeful'' book, with reminders that soldier can attain glory, respect, and above all, the Emperor's favor. When up to your knees in cockney roid-raging Shreks ~~and zerg~~-~~rushing lizard~~ aliens eating your friends, it's nice to be reminded that you're fighting for your family, your Emperor, and your people, and that you ''can'' weather the storm. You probably won't, but you can.		* Grimdark as the whole thing is, once you get past the rules and numerous punishable-by-death infractions, it's a surprisingly ''hopeful'' book, with reminders that soldier can attain glory, respect, and above all, the Emperor's favor. When up to your knees in cockney roid-raging Shreks, swarms of lizard-bug aliens eating your friends or self-repairing skele-bots with disintegration guns, it's nice to be reminded that you're fighting for your family, your Emperor, and your people, and that you ''can'' weather the storm. You probably won't, but you can.

	==See Also==		==See Also==