Marines Malevolent - Revision history

37.228.203.93: /* Daily Rituals */ added in a bit about the marines malevolent esentially parodying the pollution ads of the 1970s but they dump their rubbish on exodite and maiden worlds, and throw beer cans at aeldari exodites

2025-10-31T11:04:45Z

Daily Rituals: added in a bit about the marines malevolent esentially parodying the pollution ads of the 1970s but they dump their rubbish on exodite and maiden worlds, and throw beer cans at aeldari exodites

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:04, 31 October 2025
Line 131:		Line 131:

	14:15: force deployment and glory stealing: at this point the marines malevolent will listen in on subsector command on who is "winning" and will casually drop in at the last second(after all the hard work is done by other imperial forces) and kill steal every chaos lord, or ork warboss whos already defeated, broken or about to be killed by those chapters who put in the work, they will then demand a portion of the glory, relics, and a statue to captian vinyar be put up in their capitol before absconding off with the war spoils meant for the lamenters, ocasionally stealing the odd relic vehicle or two		14:15: force deployment and glory stealing: at this point the marines malevolent will listen in on subsector command on who is "winning" and will casually drop in at the last second(after all the hard work is done by other imperial forces) and kill steal every chaos lord, or ork warboss whos already defeated, broken or about to be killed by those chapters who put in the work, they will then demand a portion of the glory, relics, and a statue to captian vinyar be put up in their capitol before absconding off with the war spoils meant for the lamenters, ocasionally stealing the odd relic vehicle or two

			14:30: Waste Management. To demonstrate their unwavering care for the Imperium, the Marines Malevolent casually dump their garbage, nuclear sludge, and melted promethium barrels onto nearby Exodite worlds, filming a single crying xenos for the finale of their “environmental awareness” propaganda video. battle honors to any scout who can nail an exodite with a beer can from a landspeeder.

	15:00: Afternoon Battle Practice. Realize they wasted all that time pointlessly, and so take it out on the chapter serfs by either killing them or burning the cotton they collected. May also fight any Salamanders that happen to be nearby (and usually get beat up by said Salamanders).		15:00: Afternoon Battle Practice. Realize they wasted all that time pointlessly, and so take it out on the chapter serfs by either killing them or burning the cotton they collected. May also fight any Salamanders that happen to be nearby (and usually get beat up by said Salamanders).

37.228.203.93: /* Daily Rituals */ i added in a bit about how the marines malevolent are a chapter of kill stealers who would drop in at the last second pretend to be big heros steal the loot and do the space marine equivalent of "putting their name on the project without doing any work" and build a statue of captian vinyar

2025-10-25T13:13:19Z

Daily Rituals: i added in a bit about how the marines malevolent are a chapter of kill stealers who would drop in at the last second pretend to be big heros steal the loot and do the space marine equivalent of "putting their name on the project without doing any work" and build a statue of captian vinyar

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:13, 25 October 2025
Line 129:		Line 129:

	14:00: Scamming the imperium: the marines malevolent, will run various ponzi schemes to get rich quick, the current scam is called "established high lords of terra" in which they fool hapless imperial citizens to buy a plot of land on holy terra under the pretence it'll make them a high lord or an inquisitor. many imperial citizens lost their retirement funds to this scam.		14:00: Scamming the imperium: the marines malevolent, will run various ponzi schemes to get rich quick, the current scam is called "established high lords of terra" in which they fool hapless imperial citizens to buy a plot of land on holy terra under the pretence it'll make them a high lord or an inquisitor. many imperial citizens lost their retirement funds to this scam.

			14:15: force deployment and glory stealing: at this point the marines malevolent will listen in on subsector command on who is "winning" and will casually drop in at the last second(after all the hard work is done by other imperial forces) and kill steal every chaos lord, or ork warboss whos already defeated, broken or about to be killed by those chapters who put in the work, they will then demand a portion of the glory, relics, and a statue to captian vinyar be put up in their capitol before absconding off with the war spoils meant for the lamenters, ocasionally stealing the odd relic vehicle or two

	15:00: Afternoon Battle Practice. Realize they wasted all that time pointlessly, and so take it out on the chapter serfs by either killing them or burning the cotton they collected. May also fight any Salamanders that happen to be nearby (and usually get beat up by said Salamanders).		15:00: Afternoon Battle Practice. Realize they wasted all that time pointlessly, and so take it out on the chapter serfs by either killing them or burning the cotton they collected. May also fight any Salamanders that happen to be nearby (and usually get beat up by said Salamanders).

37.228.203.93: /* Daily Rituals */ added in a bit about the calls for aid being a source of comedy for the marines malevolent, dressing up as salamanders, making fun of the poor and helpless, defencless and then astropathically calling those same people who called for aid's moms a whore like a 12 year old boy. i also added in a bit about how they keep trolling the inquisition and pretending to be the celestial lions, similar colorscheme which might explain their bad luck suffice to say they find it funny

2025-10-23T12:11:15Z

Daily Rituals: added in a bit about the calls for aid being a source of comedy for the marines malevolent, dressing up as salamanders, making fun of the poor and helpless, defencless and then astropathically calling those same people who called for aid's moms a whore like a 12 year old boy. i also added in a bit about how they keep trolling the inquisition and pretending to be the celestial lions, similar colorscheme which might explain their bad luck suffice to say they find it funny

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:11, 23 October 2025
Line 109:		Line 109:

	09:00: Morning Battle Practice. Said servitors are destroyed with extreme prejudice with their families being sent messages about how worthless they were in life and death with pictures of their corpses attached to the letters.		09:00: Morning Battle Practice. Said servitors are destroyed with extreme prejudice with their families being sent messages about how worthless they were in life and death with pictures of their corpses attached to the letters.

			09:30: Requests for aid from the marines malevolent: at this time, the marines malevolent will listen on every available vox and astropath for requests for aid from the imperium, this is pure comedy to the chapter, trolling, lying, faking aid, and making fun of the defenceless imperial

			citizens, making fun of orphans is popular, painting their Armor green and putting on astartes pattern blackface pretending to be the salamanders is also encouraged. suffice to say, that no aid will arrive and the marines malevolent will laugh and laugh while they troll entire sectors, probably being overrun by dark eldar haemonculi covens. captian vinyar, will then order a response be sent out, more often than not this is the astrophathic equivalent of "your moms a whore"

	10:00: Midday Battle Practice. The chapter gathers to talk shit on the majority of the Imperium. This takes a large portion of the day, as the Mechanicus, Militarum, Ecclesiarchy, Inquisition, Iron Hands, Ultrasmurfs, Black Templars, Salamanders, half the population of their planet, and Angry Marines are all talked copious amounts of shit. This time is also set aside to defend the chapter when someone hears that they were talking shit.		10:00: Midday Battle Practice. The chapter gathers to talk shit on the majority of the Imperium. This takes a large portion of the day, as the Mechanicus, Militarum, Ecclesiarchy, Inquisition, Iron Hands, Ultrasmurfs, Black Templars, Salamanders, half the population of their planet, and Angry Marines are all talked copious amounts of shit. This time is also set aside to defend the chapter when someone hears that they were talking shit.

	11:00: Beat up the elderly: the marines malevolent will cruise around in skimmers and rhinos and get into fights with the planets elderly, typically going to retirement homes to beat up veterans of first and second war for Armageddon, beating up orphans is also encouraged, old orphans get beat up twice as much!		11:00: Beat up the elderly: the marines malevolent will cruise around in skimmers and rhinos and get into fights with the planets elderly, typically going to retirement homes to beat up veterans of first and second war for Armageddon, beating up orphans is also encouraged, old orphans get beat up twice as much!

			11:15: troll the inquisitors: at this hour the marines malevolent will paint their shoulder pads blue and troll and annoy any and every inquisitor, vox phone calls, scams, stealing the inquisitors wife, deep faking, noosphere scams, promises to help deathwatch, promises to send marines to help ordo xenos capture new and leathal tyranids, stealing corvus blackstar jets for their own use, drinking all the beer and sending the tab to Gregor eisenhorn, or conducting another "tactical panty raid" on a nearby sorirtas convent, all of which, will be blamed on the celestial lions, much to the delight of the marines malevolent.

	12:00: Memorial desecration hour: for the next hour the marines malevolent will go to any planets that they know have statues dedicated to the salamanders, lamenters, yarrick or emperors spears and desecrate their memorials! statues of Vulkan are a prime target, any civilian who says "your desecrating a war memorial" will be given an astartes sized kick up the ass		12:00: Memorial desecration hour: for the next hour the marines malevolent will go to any planets that they know have statues dedicated to the salamanders, lamenters, yarrick or emperors spears and desecrate their memorials! statues of Vulkan are a prime target, any civilian who says "your desecrating a war memorial" will be given an astartes sized kick up the ass

37.228.203.254: /* Daily Rituals */ i added in a bit about the marines malevolent using captured sonic weaponry to basically troll the imperium with the equivalent of boomboxes and loud music at the worst hours imaginable and giggling about it

2025-09-03T21:19:39Z

Daily Rituals: i added in a bit about the marines malevolent using captured sonic weaponry to basically troll the imperium with the equivalent of boomboxes and loud music at the worst hours imaginable and giggling about it

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:19, 3 September 2025
Line 97:		Line 97:

	05:00: Enforcement of Morale. Said hunter missiles are launched to awaken the local populace. They always try to aim for adult care centers or hospitals.		05:00: Enforcement of Morale. Said hunter missiles are launched to awaken the local populace. They always try to aim for adult care centers or hospitals.

			05:15: heretical weapons testing: after recently defeating an emperors children's warband marines malevolent have confiscated many sonic blasters, Doomsirens and other emperors children weaponry, rather than hand them over to the inquisition or mechanicus

			they've decided to "test" them out, unfortunately, in what could best be described as "the imperium's worst case of noise pollution" the marines malevolent have aimed their awful boombox weaponry at every meditation centre, maternity ward, psych hospital and shift worker they can find much to the rage and fury of the very tired imperium, the marines malevolent get much giggles and trolling out of this at five in the morning.

	06:00: Morning Prayer. The chapter serfs are sent to collect cotton in the fields whilst the Marines Malevolent pray to the Emperor. These prayers are usually outright ignored.		06:00: Morning Prayer. The chapter serfs are sent to collect cotton in the fields whilst the Marines Malevolent pray to the Emperor. These prayers are usually outright ignored.

37.228.203.254: /* Daily Rituals */ i added in a bit about how marines malevolent handle hostage situations, with massive amounts of firepower in narrow spaces, killing every hostage and target, then i made it encouraged parodying dirty harry on the school bus how the marines would just blow it to bits, and get promoted for it

2025-09-03T21:04:32Z

Daily Rituals: i added in a bit about how marines malevolent handle hostage situations, with massive amounts of firepower in narrow spaces, killing every hostage and target, then i made it encouraged parodying dirty harry on the school bus how the marines would just blow it to bits, and get promoted for it

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:04, 3 September 2025
Line 115:		Line 115:

	13:00: take a wish: on many imperial worlds they have something resembling the ancient Terran "make a wish" foundation, using a combination of librarians, mechcanicus and the emperors tarot they will steal this wish from orphans to take it for themselves! much to the impotent rage of their human parents!		13:00: take a wish: on many imperial worlds they have something resembling the ancient Terran "make a wish" foundation, using a combination of librarians, mechcanicus and the emperors tarot they will steal this wish from orphans to take it for themselves! much to the impotent rage of their human parents!

			13:15: counterinsurgency and force deployments: being the good neighbours that the marines malevolent are, they are quick to lend aid to any and all hostage or insurgency style problems the imperium has, typically, this resembles a cross between a game of counterstrike and a Michael bay movie, marines malevolent will deploy their ENTIRE devastator company in narrow spaces, with crowd killing, anti personnel weapons, heavy plasma weaponry, incinerators, heavy bolters, conversion beamers in use. this takes about 5 minutes and by the end of it, their aren't any insurgents left...or any buildings standing either, or any hostages, or anything else, any battle brother who suggests the use of kraken rounds or phosphex weaponry, will be immediately removed from the battle line, and put in for promotion as brother Horrigan was after the "school bus incident".

	14:00: Scamming the imperium: the marines malevolent, will run various ponzi schemes to get rich quick, the current scam is called "established high lords of terra" in which they fool hapless imperial citizens to buy a plot of land on holy terra under the pretence it'll make them a high lord or an inquisitor. many imperial citizens lost their retirement funds to this scam.		14:00: Scamming the imperium: the marines malevolent, will run various ponzi schemes to get rich quick, the current scam is called "established high lords of terra" in which they fool hapless imperial citizens to buy a plot of land on holy terra under the pretence it'll make them a high lord or an inquisitor. many imperial citizens lost their retirement funds to this scam.

37.228.203.254: /* Daily Rituals */ i added in 3 entires, one in which they beat up the elderly in retirement homes, because they cant fight back. the next one is parodying make a wish, because stealing from children seems very on brand for marines malevolent and last but not least scamming the imperium parodying established titles from scotland seems like a thing that the marines malevolent would do and laugh about it

2025-08-09T13:54:38Z

Daily Rituals: i added in 3 entires, one in which they beat up the elderly in retirement homes, because they cant fight back. the next one is parodying make a wish, because stealing from children seems very on brand for marines malevolent and last but not least scamming the imperium parodying established titles from scotland seems like a thing that the marines malevolent would do and laugh about it

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:54, 9 August 2025
Line 107:		Line 107:

	10:00: Midday Battle Practice. The chapter gathers to talk shit on the majority of the Imperium. This takes a large portion of the day, as the Mechanicus, Militarum, Ecclesiarchy, Inquisition, Iron Hands, Ultrasmurfs, Black Templars, Salamanders, half the population of their planet, and Angry Marines are all talked copious amounts of shit. This time is also set aside to defend the chapter when someone hears that they were talking shit.		10:00: Midday Battle Practice. The chapter gathers to talk shit on the majority of the Imperium. This takes a large portion of the day, as the Mechanicus, Militarum, Ecclesiarchy, Inquisition, Iron Hands, Ultrasmurfs, Black Templars, Salamanders, half the population of their planet, and Angry Marines are all talked copious amounts of shit. This time is also set aside to defend the chapter when someone hears that they were talking shit.

			11:00: Beat up the elderly: the marines malevolent will cruise around in skimmers and rhinos and get into fights with the planets elderly, typically going to retirement homes to beat up veterans of first and second war for Armageddon, beating up orphans is also encouraged, old orphans get beat up twice as much!

			12:00: Memorial desecration hour: for the next hour the marines malevolent will go to any planets that they know have statues dedicated to the salamanders, lamenters, yarrick or emperors spears and desecrate their memorials! statues of Vulkan are a prime target, any civilian who says "your desecrating a war memorial" will be given an astartes sized kick up the ass

			any space marines who say that to the marines malevolent will invoke a full chapter wide war!

			13:00: take a wish: on many imperial worlds they have something resembling the ancient Terran "make a wish" foundation, using a combination of librarians, mechcanicus and the emperors tarot they will steal this wish from orphans to take it for themselves! much to the impotent rage of their human parents!

			14:00: Scamming the imperium: the marines malevolent, will run various ponzi schemes to get rich quick, the current scam is called "established high lords of terra" in which they fool hapless imperial citizens to buy a plot of land on holy terra under the pretence it'll make them a high lord or an inquisitor. many imperial citizens lost their retirement funds to this scam.

	15:00: Afternoon Battle Practice. Realize they wasted all that time pointlessly, and so take it out on the chapter serfs by either killing them or burning the cotton they collected. May also fight any Salamanders that happen to be nearby (and usually get beat up by said Salamanders).		15:00: Afternoon Battle Practice. Realize they wasted all that time pointlessly, and so take it out on the chapter serfs by either killing them or burning the cotton they collected. May also fight any Salamanders that happen to be nearby (and usually get beat up by said Salamanders).

imported>Administrator: 285 revisions imported

2023-06-22T03:09:22Z

285 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 03:09, 22 June 2023
(No difference)

imported>Administrator: 1 revision imported

2023-06-19T02:40:22Z

1 revision imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 02:40, 19 June 2023
(No difference)

2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:EC49:7D91:F433:A853 at 15:50, 4 June 2023

2023-06-04T15:50:01Z

Show changes

188.188.141.220 at 12:09, 27 May 2023

2023-05-27T12:09:29Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:09, 27 May 2023
Line 42:		Line 42:
	And should that happen, we can't think of too many Chapters who would turn down the chance to kick the Marines Malevolent in their collective dicks. Especially if the [[Minotaurs]] and [[Carcharodons\|SPESS SHARKSH!!!]] happen to be in the area. One of the Malevolents challenged a [[Black Templar]] to an honor duel, just so he could take the Templar's armor when he won, so the Templars would probably be first in line as well.		And should that happen, we can't think of too many Chapters who would turn down the chance to kick the Marines Malevolent in their collective dicks. Especially if the [[Minotaurs]] and [[Carcharodons\|SPESS SHARKSH!!!]] happen to be in the area. One of the Malevolents challenged a [[Black Templar]] to an honor duel, just so he could take the Templar's armor when he won, so the Templars would probably be first in line as well.

	They even blackmailed a First Founding Chapter Master to the point that he had to physically restrain himself from smacking the fuck out of the Malevolent representative. When the two met again at the end of the Third Armageddon campaign, said Chapter Master openly insulted the Malevolent Captain (after he beat the ever-living fuck out of him in private) in front of the entire army, causing much sniggering amongst the nearer [[Imperial Guard\|Guardsmen]] and earning the Chapter Master ([[Tu'Shan]]) the title Hero of Armageddon.		They even blackmailed a First Founding Chapter Master to the point that he had to physically restrain himself from smacking the fuck out of the Malevolent representative. When the two met again at the end of the Third Armageddon campaign, said Chapter Master openly insulted the Malevolent Captain (after he beat the ever-living fuck out of him in private) in front of the entire army, causing much sniggering amongst the nearer [[Imperial Guard\|Guardsmen]] and earning the Chapter Master ([[Tu'Shan]]) the title Hero of Armageddon.

	Well OK, he got it for kicking [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka\|Thraka's]] ass, but who cares.		Well OK, he got it for kicking [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka\|Thraka's]] ass, but who cares.

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:09, 27 May 2023
Line 42:		Line 42:
	And should that happen, we can't think of too many Chapters who would turn down the chance to kick the Marines Malevolent in their collective dicks. Especially if the [[Minotaurs]] and [[Carcharodons\|SPESS SHARKSH!!!]] happen to be in the area. One of the Malevolents challenged a [[Black Templar]] to an honor duel, just so he could take the Templar's armor when he won, so the Templars would probably be first in line as well.		And should that happen, we can't think of too many Chapters who would turn down the chance to kick the Marines Malevolent in their collective dicks. Especially if the [[Minotaurs]] and [[Carcharodons\|SPESS SHARKSH!!!]] happen to be in the area. One of the Malevolents challenged a [[Black Templar]] to an honor duel, just so he could take the Templar's armor when he won, so the Templars would probably be first in line as well.

	They even blackmailed a First Founding Chapter Master to the point that he had to physically restrain himself from smacking the fuck out of the Malevolent representative. When the two met again at the end of the Third Armageddon campaign, said Chapter Master openly insulted the Malevolent Captain (after he beat the ever-living fuck out of him in private) in front of the entire army, causing much sniggering amongst the nearer [[Imperial Guard\|Guardsmen]] and earning the Chapter Master ([[Tu'Shan]]) the title Hero of Armageddon.		They even blackmailed a First Founding Chapter Master to the point that he had to physically restrain himself from smacking the fuck out of the Malevolent representative. When the two met again at the end of the Third Armageddon campaign, said Chapter Master openly insulted the Malevolent Captain (after he beat the ever-living fuck out of him in private) in front of the entire army, causing much sniggering amongst the nearer [[Imperial Guard\|Guardsmen]] and earning the Chapter Master ([[Tu'Shan]]) the title Hero of Armageddon.

	Well OK, he got it for kicking [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka\|Thraka's]] ass, but who cares.		Well OK, he got it for kicking [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka\|Thraka's]] ass, but who cares.