Martini - Revision history

imported>Administrator: 30 revisions imported

2023-06-22T03:09:34Z

30 revisions imported

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2023-06-19T02:40:30Z

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115.70.44.117: /* See Also */

2022-12-14T09:47:01Z

115.70.44.117: /* See Also */

2022-12-14T09:46:38Z

1d4chan>Cube: /* How To Make A Proper Martini */ My OCD demands all measurements be of the same units.

2022-01-01T04:33:05Z

How To Make A Proper Martini: My OCD demands all measurements be of the same units.

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:33, 1 January 2022
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	1 olive on a pick, or lemon peel		1 olive on a pick, or lemon peel

	1 standard (~~13.3cl~~) cocktail glass, chilled		1 standard (133ml) cocktail glass, chilled

	1 standard mixing glass		1 standard mixing glass

1d4chan>Based Tzeentch: /* How To Make A Proper Martini */

2019-09-21T22:28:21Z

How To Make A Proper Martini

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:28, 21 September 2019
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	55ml gin		55ml gin

	15-~~25ml~~ vermouth, dry, to taste		15-30ml vermouth, dry, to taste. This is non optional and anyone who says otherwise is a heretic recidivist.

	1 olive on a pick, or lemon peel		1 olive on a pick, or lemon peel

1d4chan>Based Tzeentch: /* How To Make A Proper Martini */

2019-09-21T22:27:37Z

How To Make A Proper Martini

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:27, 21 September 2019
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	55ml gin		55ml gin

	~~15ml~~ vermouth, dry		15-25ml vermouth, dry, to taste

	1 olive on a pick		1 olive on a pick, or lemon peel

	1 standard (13.3cl) cocktail glass, chilled		1 standard (13.3cl) cocktail glass, chilled

1d4chan>Based Tzeentch at 22:26, 21 September 2019

2019-09-21T22:26:51Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:26, 21 September 2019
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	===Variants===		===Variants===
	It is said that the martini is improved by making it dry; adding less vermouth to it or none at all. There is the English variant (as suggested by playwright, actor, singer and all-round classyman Sir Noël Peirce Coward) where one "waves [the glass] in the general direction of Italy". Another is the Spanish variant (as described by Luis Buñuel Portolés, famous for the movie ''Un Chien Andalou'', sixteen minutes of pure WTF including [[grimdark\|a scene where a woman's eyeball is cut open with a razor blade]]) where one holds a glass of gin next to a bottle of vermouth and let a beam of sunlight pass through. [[Creed\|Winston Churchill]] is said to have whispered "vermouth" to every glass of gin he was about to consume, likely to [[awesome\|intimidate the gin into becoming a martini]].		It is said that the martini is improved by making it dry; adding less vermouth to it or none at all. But this is a filthy heresy, a proper ratio is 3:1 at most, or better, but 2:1, otherwise who are we kidding, you are drinking gin. The Manhattan, sweet vermouth (as opposed to the martini's dry) and rye whiskey (never bourbon), is always '212'–2 parts whiskey, 1 part vermouth, 2 dashes bitters. There is the English variant (as suggested by playwright, actor, singer and all-round classyman Sir Noël Peirce Coward) where one "waves [the glass] in the general direction of Italy". Another is the Spanish variant (as described by Luis Buñuel Portolés, famous for the movie ''Un Chien Andalou'', sixteen minutes of pure WTF including [[grimdark\|a scene where a woman's eyeball is cut open with a razor blade]]) where one holds a glass of gin next to a bottle of vermouth and let a beam of sunlight pass through. [[Creed\|Winston Churchill]] is said to have whispered "vermouth" to every glass of gin he was about to consume, likely to [[awesome\|intimidate the gin into becoming a martini]].

	The inferior version to the martini is the gibson: prepared as above except with 60ml of gin, 10ml of dry vermouth and a pickled onion. But if you are a [[Fist of the North Star\|real man]], you drink the martini.		The inferior version to the martini is the gibson: prepared as above except with 60ml of gin, 10ml of dry vermouth and a pickled onion. But if you are a [[Fist of the North Star\|real man]], you drink the martini.

	===See Also===		===See Also===
	*[[James Bond]], the only mother fucker who gets away with shaken martinis, mostly because (1) martinis were a lot harder back then, (2) he orders ''vodka'' martinis, no pussy ass "gin" here, and (3) you couldn't get a decent stirred martini back when the first few James Bond films were released.		*[[James Bond]], the only mother fucker who gets away with shaken martinis, mostly because (1) martinis were a lot harder back then; (2) <s>he orders ''vodka'' martinis, no pussy ass "gin" here</s> actually Bond's drink of choice was the "Vesper," which involved both gin and vodka, as well as Kina Lillet, a now discontinued liqueur much similar to vermouth—a vodka martini is not a martini, and to say elsewise ought to attract the attention of the [[Inquisition]]; and (3) you couldn't get a decent stirred martini back when the first few James Bond films were released.
	[[Category:Not related]][[Category:Food and Drink]]		[[Category:Not related]][[Category:Food and Drink]]

1d4chan>LGX-000 at 21:32, 20 February 2019

2019-02-20T21:32:39Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:32, 20 February 2019
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	[[Image:Martini.jpg\|thumb\|right\|JUST AS PLANNED]]		[[Image:Martini.jpg\|thumb\|right\|JUST AS PLANNED]]
	There is only one respectable drink for a [[DM]]: The Martini. I mean a real martini which is just gin, a little vermouth, and an olive; nothing pretending to be a martini or ending in -tini. It is the most [[Just as planned\|just as planned]] of all the drinks. Simply picking up a martini glass kills a little bit of your soul and lets you sink even lower into vicious disregard for your players. Other drinks promote camaraderie. The martini doesn't care. It doesn't fudge rolls. It doesn't give tip offs to trapped chests and cursed items. It is death-by-neutrality with an olive.		There is only one respectable drink for a [[DM]]: The '''Martini'''. I mean a real martini which is just gin, a little vermouth, and an olive; nothing pretending to be a martini or ending in -tini. It is the most [[Just as planned\|"just as planned"]] of all the drinks. Simply picking up a martini glass kills a little bit of your soul and lets you sink even lower into vicious disregard for your players. Other drinks promote camaraderie. The martini doesn't care. It doesn't fudge rolls. It doesn't give tip offs to trapped chests and cursed items. It is death-by-neutrality with an olive.

	==How To Make A Proper Martini==		==How To Make A Proper Martini==

73.242.73.65: /* See Also */

2017-11-30T03:13:58Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:47, 14 December 2022
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	===See Also===		===See Also===
	*[[James Bond]], the only mother fucker who gets away with shaken martinis, mostly because (1) martinis were a lot harder back then; (2) <s>he orders ''vodka'' martinis, no pussy ass "gin" here</s> actually Bond's drink of choice was the "Vesper," which involved both gin and vodka, as well as Kina Lillet, a now discontinued liqueur much similar to vermouth—a vodka martini is not a martini, and to say elsewise ought to attract the attention of the [[Inquisition]]; (3) you couldn't get a decent stirred martini back when the first few James Bond films were released; and (4) taking out ~~assassins~~ is James Bond's bread and butter.		*[[James Bond]], the only mother fucker who gets away with shaken martinis, mostly because (1) martinis were a lot harder back then; (2) <s>he orders ''vodka'' martinis, no pussy ass "gin" here</s> actually Bond's drink of choice was the "Vesper," which involved both gin and vodka, as well as Kina Lillet, a now discontinued liqueur much similar to vermouth—a vodka martini is not a martini, and to say elsewise ought to attract the attention of the [[Inquisition]]; (3) you couldn't get a decent stirred martini back when the first few James Bond films were released; and (4) taking out hitmen is James Bond's bread and butter.
	[[Category:Not related]][[Category:Food and Drink]]		[[Category:Not related]][[Category:Food and Drink]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:46, 14 December 2022
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	===See Also===		===See Also===
	*[[James Bond]], the only mother fucker who gets away with shaken martinis, mostly because (1) martinis were a lot harder back then; (2) <s>he orders ''vodka'' martinis, no pussy ass "gin" here</s> actually Bond's drink of choice was the "Vesper," which involved both gin and vodka, as well as Kina Lillet, a now discontinued liqueur much similar to vermouth—a vodka martini is not a martini, and to say elsewise ought to attract the attention of the [[Inquisition]]; ~~and~~ (3) you couldn't get a decent stirred martini back when the first few James Bond films were released.		*[[James Bond]], the only mother fucker who gets away with shaken martinis, mostly because (1) martinis were a lot harder back then; (2) <s>he orders ''vodka'' martinis, no pussy ass "gin" here</s> actually Bond's drink of choice was the "Vesper," which involved both gin and vodka, as well as Kina Lillet, a now discontinued liqueur much similar to vermouth—a vodka martini is not a martini, and to say elsewise ought to attract the attention of the [[Inquisition]]; (3) you couldn't get a decent stirred martini back when the first few James Bond films were released; and (4) taking out assassins is James Bond's bread and butter.
	[[Category:Not related]][[Category:Food and Drink]]		[[Category:Not related]][[Category:Food and Drink]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:13, 30 November 2017
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	===See Also===		===See Also===
	*[[James Bond]], the only mother fucker who gets away with shaken martinis, mostly because (1) martinis were a lot harder back then, (2) he orders ''vodka'' martinis, no pussy ass "gin" here, and (3) you couldn't get a decent stirred martini back when the first few James Bond films were released.		*[[James Bond]], the only mother fucker who gets away with shaken martinis, mostly because (1) martinis were a lot harder back then, (2) he orders ''vodka'' martinis, no pussy ass "gin" here, and (3) you couldn't get a decent stirred martini back when the first few James Bond films were released.
	Category:Not related]][[Category:Food and Drink]]		[[Category:Not related]][[Category:Food and Drink]]