Nodwick - Revision history

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2023-06-22T13:49:45Z

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2023-06-19T02:49:59Z

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2A00:F41:389C:960E:0:56:976B:3601: /* Fun Crunchy Notes */ spacing

2023-05-18T22:00:59Z

Fun Crunchy Notes: spacing

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:00, 18 May 2023
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	Official (well, "official") statblocks for the team under the [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] 2nd Edition ruleset can be found in the [[Giants in the Earth]] article in [[Dragon Magazine]] #270.		Official (well, "official") statblocks for the team under the [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] 2nd Edition ruleset can be found in the [[Giants in the Earth]] article in [[Dragon Magazine]] #270.

	Nodwick is statted as being a level 21 Henchman, with eighteen ranks in each of the Nonweapon Proficiences Schlepping, Toting, Hauling, and Lifting with Knees. He also counts as having 15 ranks in the Religion Nonweapon Proficiency, due to his frequent deaths - they also mean that any deity who meets Nodwick has a 20% ~~chanceo f~~ recognizing him, because he's been bounced in and out of the [[Outer Planes]] that frequently. His Nonweapon Proficiences are what allows Nodwick to carry such ridiculously large amounts of junk, and only apply to things designated "loot". In all other situations, Nodwick's Strength statistic is given as a mere eight. In this article, Nodwick is stated as being of Lawful Good alignment, which is why he attempts to merely find a loophole in his contract in order to escape rather than simply absconding while unattended or even murdering his employers in their sleep. It is noted that there is a base 5% chance that Nodwick may be carrying any item from the Player's Handbook, with this chance increasing by +2% for every cubic foot of junk Nodwick is hauling.		Nodwick is statted as being a level 21 Henchman, with eighteen ranks in each of the Nonweapon Proficiences Schlepping, Toting, Hauling, and Lifting with Knees. He also counts as having 15 ranks in the Religion Nonweapon Proficiency, due to his frequent deaths - they also mean that any deity who meets Nodwick has a 20% chance of recognizing him, because he's been bounced in and out of the [[Outer Planes]] that frequently. His Nonweapon Proficiences are what allows Nodwick to carry such ridiculously large amounts of junk, and only apply to things designated "loot". In all other situations, Nodwick's Strength statistic is given as a mere eight. In this article, Nodwick is stated as being of Lawful Good alignment, which is why he attempts to merely find a loophole in his contract in order to escape rather than simply absconding while unattended or even murdering his employers in their sleep. It is noted that there is a base 5% chance that Nodwick may be carrying any item from the Player's Handbook, with this chance increasing by +2% for every cubic foot of junk Nodwick is hauling.

	Yeager is described as a level 8 Chaotic Good Fighter with the special defence of a 50% resistance to attempts at reasoning. He has 12 skill ranks in Scheme, 15 in Simple Solutions For Complex Problems, and 11 in Running. Pioneer of the various abuses of henchman, he treats his Intelligence as being 18 when attempting to figure out reasons to use a henchman for something like stopping a portcullis from closing. Yeager's armor is described as being +3 chainmail, and his sword is a +1 longsword- at least, in his hands. Yeager's sword is actually a Reaper of Evil +5, +10 vs. Evil Creatures. As well as its potent magical effects, it is a sentient weapon with an Intelligence and an Ego of 18 that provides its wielder with the ability to turn undead three times per day as though they were a level 15 cleric, the power to cure disease with a touch and the ability to directly contact their patron god once per year. However, the horrific experiences it suffered shortly after coming into Yeager's possession (being used to kill a skunk, scrape dragon dung off Yeager's boots and cut a path through a field of bile weeds, then fatally impaling a saintly monk after trying to leap from Yeager's possession) have left it mentally scarred and locked in a catatonic state. The only method able to cure it will be removal from Yeagar's possession and several years of therapy.		Yeager is described as a level 8 Chaotic Good Fighter with the special defence of a 50% resistance to attempts at reasoning. He has 12 skill ranks in Scheme, 15 in Simple Solutions For Complex Problems, and 11 in Running. Pioneer of the various abuses of henchman, he treats his Intelligence as being 18 when attempting to figure out reasons to use a henchman for something like stopping a portcullis from closing. Yeager's armor is described as being +3 chainmail, and his sword is a +1 longsword- at least, in his hands. Yeager's sword is actually a Reaper of Evil +5, +10 vs. Evil Creatures. As well as its potent magical effects, it is a sentient weapon with an Intelligence and an Ego of 18 that provides its wielder with the ability to turn undead three times per day as though they were a level 15 cleric, the power to cure disease with a touch and the ability to directly contact their patron god once per year. However, the horrific experiences it suffered shortly after coming into Yeager's possession (being used to kill a skunk, scrape dragon dung off Yeager's boots and cut a path through a field of bile weeds, then fatally impaling a saintly monk after trying to leap from Yeager's possession) have left it mentally scarred and locked in a catatonic state. The only method able to cure it will be removal from Yeagar's possession and several years of therapy.

1d4chan>Zimriel at 16:50, 30 September 2021

2021-09-30T16:50:14Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:50, 30 September 2021
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	{{/co/}}		{{/co/}}
	'''Nodwick''' is an early "tabletop gamer culture" oriented comedy comic, by Aaron Williams. Williams already had a following for stuff he'd done for ''[[Dragon Magazine\|Dragon]]'', so about 2000ish he ran ~~his~~ comic there too. 'Tis in the spirit of ''[[Star Trek]]: Lower Decks'' for gamers but good. Or, the [[Knights of the Dinner Table]] as seen by its avatars rather than described by the players.		'''Nodwick''' is an early "tabletop gamer culture" oriented comedy comic, by Aaron Williams. Williams already had a following for stuff he'd done for ''[[Dragon Magazine\|Dragon]]'', so about 2000ish he ran this comic there too. 'Tis in the spirit of ''[[Star Trek]]: Lower Decks'' for gamers but good. Or, the [[Knights of the Dinner Table]] as seen by its avatars rather than described by the players.

	Where this series ran in ''Dragon'', it tended to pillory [[Old School Roleplaying\|ye olde skoole]] of modules like [[S1: Tomb of Horrors]]; where in ''Dungeon'', it commented on the adventures listed in there. On its own of course it couldn't much touch copyrighted material, so it goes more style-parody.		Where this series ran in ''Dragon'', it tended to pillory [[Old School Roleplaying\|ye olde skoole]] of modules like [[S1: Tomb of Horrors]]; where in ''Dungeon'', it commented on the adventures listed in there. On its own of course it couldn't much touch copyrighted material, so it goes more style-parody.

	Although mostly done for laughs, Williams is not averse to kicking the reader in the gut on occasion, for instance in an "It's a Wonderful Life" expy in which we see what happens to the party when they ''don't'' raise Nodwick from the dead that one time. This author about lost it at that one and faceplanted into a tub of chocolate ice cream.		Although mostly done for laughs, Williams is not averse to kicking the reader in the gut on occasion, for instance in an "It's a Wonderful Life" expy in which we see what happens to the party when they ''don't'' raise Nodwick from the dead that one time. This wiki-author about lost it at that one and faceplanted into a tub of chocolate ice cream.

	You can read it ~~all~~ for free at nodwick.com. ~~Although~~ later installments here seem to be out of sequence.		You can read most of it for free at nodwick.com. Excepting the ''Dungeon'' stuff which only made sense to that magazine's subscribers. Also later installments here seem to be out of sequence.

	=Cast of Characters=		=Cast of Characters=

1d4chan>Zimriel: /* Antagonists */

2021-09-02T22:32:47Z

Antagonists

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:32, 2 September 2021
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	* '''Count Repugsive''' is the Warduke expy, an anti-paladin (later Blackguard) who's angling to take his cousin's throne. He often raises undead. {{spoiler\|It turns out that ''she'' is actually both undead and a woman; she was pretty plain-looking in life, and since she's too dead for her sex to be evident now, she just lets people think she's a guy for a feeble attempt at being taken more seriously.}}		* '''Count Repugsive''' is the Warduke expy, an anti-paladin (later Blackguard) who's angling to take his cousin's throne. He often raises undead. {{spoiler\|It turns out that ''she'' is actually both undead and a woman; she was pretty plain-looking in life, and since she's too dead for her sex to be evident now, she just lets people think she's a guy for a feeble attempt at being taken more seriously.}}

	* '''Baphumaal''', portmanteau of Baphomet and Baal, is [[Derp\|an evil god]].		* '''Baphumaal''', portmanteau of Baphomet and Baal, is [[Derp\|an evil god]]. Rather, he used to be one. And would like to become one again.

	==Other Recurrent Characters==		==Other Recurrent Characters==

1d4chan>Zimriel: /* Other Recurrent Characters */

2021-09-01T23:26:41Z

Other Recurrent Characters

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:26, 1 September 2021
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	==Other Recurrent Characters==		==Other Recurrent Characters==
	* '''Bezzler''' (lol) was the party [[rogue]], a half-elf of some description. He sometimes joins back - when he's down on his luck a bit, and feels like the party doesn't remember what he was like ''last'' time he'd joined. Which was to steal all their shit.		* '''Bezzler''' (lol) was the party [[rogue]], a half-elf of some description. He sometimes joins back - when he's down on his luck a bit, and feels like the party doesn't remember what he was like ''last'' time he'd joined. Which was to steal all their shit.
			* '''The Fang and Flagon''' is Yeager's watering hole - or would be, if water were ever served there. '''Skull Whomper Ale''' is the beverage of choice; also doubles as a potent munition.
	* '''Henchman's Local 246''' is Nodwick's union. Henchmen here all have the suffix -wick, and it's run by {{spoiler\|a hamster}}. Worst fucking union EVAR.		* '''Henchman's Local 246''' is Nodwick's union. Henchmen here all have the suffix -wick, and it's run by {{spoiler\|a hamster}}. Worst fucking union EVAR.
			* '''The Powers What Is''' are to the Nodverse what the GAWDS are to KotD. They're the DM over this world, including over whatever the local [[cleric]]s pray at.

	=Fun Crunchy Notes=		=Fun Crunchy Notes=

1d4chan>Zimriel: /* Antagonists */ doin' y'all a solid

2021-08-24T23:07:48Z

Antagonists: doin' y'all a solid

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:07, 24 August 2021
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	==Antagonists==		==Antagonists==
	* '''Count Repugsive''' is the Warduke expy, an anti-paladin (later Blackguard) who's angling to take his cousin's throne. He often raises undead. {{spoiler}} It turns out that ''she'' is actually both undead and a woman; she was pretty plain-looking in life, and since she's too dead for her sex to be evident now, she just lets people think she's a guy for a feeble attempt at being taken more seriously.		* '''Count Repugsive''' is the Warduke expy, an anti-paladin (later Blackguard) who's angling to take his cousin's throne. He often raises undead. {{spoiler\|It turns out that ''she'' is actually both undead and a woman; she was pretty plain-looking in life, and since she's too dead for her sex to be evident now, she just lets people think she's a guy for a feeble attempt at being taken more seriously.}}

	* '''Baphumaal''', portmanteau of Baphomet and Baal, is [[Derp\|an evil god]].		* '''Baphumaal''', portmanteau of Baphomet and Baal, is [[Derp\|an evil god]].

1d4chan>Zimriel: /* Other Recurrent Characters */

2021-08-24T23:07:15Z

Other Recurrent Characters

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:07, 24 August 2021
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	* '''Bezzler''' (lol) was the party [[rogue]], a half-elf of some description. He sometimes joins back - when he's down on his luck a bit, and feels like the party doesn't remember what he was like ''last'' time he'd joined. Which was to steal all their shit.		* '''Bezzler''' (lol) was the party [[rogue]], a half-elf of some description. He sometimes joins back - when he's down on his luck a bit, and feels like the party doesn't remember what he was like ''last'' time he'd joined. Which was to steal all their shit.

	* '''Henchman's Local 246''' is Nodwick's union. Henchmen here all have the suffix -wick. Worst fucking union EVAR.		* '''Henchman's Local 246''' is Nodwick's union. Henchmen here all have the suffix -wick, and it's run by {{spoiler\|a hamster}}. Worst fucking union EVAR.

	=Fun Crunchy Notes=		=Fun Crunchy Notes=

1d4chan>Zimriel: /* The Party */

2021-08-22T23:59:48Z

The Party

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:59, 22 August 2021
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	=Cast of Characters=		=Cast of Characters=
	==The Party==		==The Party==
	* The '''titular character''' is in fact a [[NPC\|''non-player'' character]], a [[retainer]] for a (usually) three-person party who answers to "henchman". He's a diminutive human with a honkin' schnoz ripped from the early Opus of ''Bloom County''. As such, he's our viewpoint character for the antics of the party. Mostly his task is Porter, which job is often a royal pain in his... back.		* The '''titular character''' is in fact a [[NPC\|''non-player'' character]], a [[retainer]] for a (usually) three-person party who answers to "henchman". He's a diminutive human with a honkin' schnoz ripped from the early Opus of ''Bloom County''. As such, he's our viewpoint character for the antics of the party. Mostly his task is Porter, which job is often a royal pain in his... back. Frequently our man gets killed (can't really use "dies" in the active voice here), but the party - especially Piffany - is always there with a roll of duct tape, so Nodwick lives again... and again... and again.

	Frequently our man gets killed (can't really use "dies" in the active voice here), but the party - especially Piffany - is always there with a roll of duct tape, so Nodwick lives again... and again... and again.

	* '''Yeagar''' is the tank of the team. He's big and dumb, although violence tends to be his second resort to problems. His first resort is "throw the henchie at the problem headfirst".		* '''Yeagar''' is the tank of the team. He's big and dumb, although violence tends to be his second resort to problems. His first resort is "throw the henchie at the problem headfirst".

1d4chan>Zimriel at 23:59, 22 August 2021

2021-08-22T23:59:15Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:59, 22 August 2021
Line 2:		Line 2:
	'''Nodwick''' is an early "tabletop gamer culture" oriented comedy comic, by Aaron Williams. Williams already had a following for stuff he'd done for ''[[Dragon Magazine\|Dragon]]'', so about 2000ish he ran his comic there too. 'Tis in the spirit of ''[[Star Trek]]: Lower Decks'' for gamers but good. Or, the [[Knights of the Dinner Table]] as seen by its avatars rather than described by the players.		'''Nodwick''' is an early "tabletop gamer culture" oriented comedy comic, by Aaron Williams. Williams already had a following for stuff he'd done for ''[[Dragon Magazine\|Dragon]]'', so about 2000ish he ran his comic there too. 'Tis in the spirit of ''[[Star Trek]]: Lower Decks'' for gamers but good. Or, the [[Knights of the Dinner Table]] as seen by its avatars rather than described by the players.

	The titular character is in fact a [[NPC\|''non-player'' character]], a [[retainer]] for a (usually) three-person party who answers to "henchman". He's a diminutive human with a honkin' schnoz ripped from the early Opus of ''Bloom County''. As such, he's our viewpoint character for the antics of the party. Mostly his task is Porter, which job is often a royal pain in his... back.		Where this series ran in ''Dragon'', it tended to pillory [[Old School Roleplaying\|ye olde skoole]] of modules like [[S1: Tomb of Horrors]]; where in ''Dungeon'', it commented on the adventures listed in there. On its own of course it couldn't much touch copyrighted material, so it goes more style-parody.

			Although mostly done for laughs, Williams is not averse to kicking the reader in the gut on occasion, for instance in an "It's a Wonderful Life" expy in which we see what happens to the party when they ''don't'' raise Nodwick from the dead that one time. This author about lost it at that one and faceplanted into a tub of chocolate ice cream.

			You can read it all for free at nodwick.com. Although later installments here seem to be out of sequence.

			=Cast of Characters=
			==The Party==
			* The '''titular character''' is in fact a [[NPC\|''non-player'' character]], a [[retainer]] for a (usually) three-person party who answers to "henchman". He's a diminutive human with a honkin' schnoz ripped from the early Opus of ''Bloom County''. As such, he's our viewpoint character for the antics of the party. Mostly his task is Porter, which job is often a royal pain in his... back.

	Frequently our man gets killed (can't really use "dies" in the active voice here), but the party - especially Piffany - is always there with a roll of duct tape, so Nodwick lives again... and again... and again.		Frequently our man gets killed (can't really use "dies" in the active voice here), but the party - especially Piffany - is always there with a roll of duct tape, so Nodwick lives again... and again... and again.

	~~==The Party==~~		* '''Yeagar''' is the tank of the team. He's big and dumb, although violence tends to be his second resort to problems. His first resort is "throw the henchie at the problem headfirst".
	'''Yeagar''' is the tank of the team. He's big and dumb, although violence tends to be his second resort to problems. His first resort is "throw the henchie at the problem headfirst".

	'''Artax''' is the mage. He's older, with an impressive white moustache down to his navel; and more canny. Deep down, though, he is not much smarter than Artax, and equally as selfish - just for mage-usable treasure. Artax ''also'' prefers to solve problems by chucking the henchman at them.		* '''Artax''' is the mage. He's older, with an impressive white moustache down to his navel; and more canny. Deep down, though, he is not much smarter than Artax, and equally as selfish - just for mage-usable treasure. Artax ''also'' prefers to solve problems by chucking the henchman at them.

	'''Piffany''' is the cleric, almost as short as Nodwick but much thinner. She's the conscience of the group: idealistic to a fault, and Nodwick's advocate before the team. When she calls you "naughty", watch out.		* '''Piffany''' is the cleric, almost as short as Nodwick but much thinner. She's the conscience of the group: idealistic to a fault, and Nodwick's advocate before the team. When she calls you "naughty", watch out.

	==Antagonists==		==Antagonists==
	'''Count Repugsive''' is the Warduke expy, an anti-paladin (later Blackguard) who's angling to take his cousin's throne. He often raises undead. {{spoiler}} It turns out that ''she'' is actually both undead and a woman; she was pretty plain-looking in life, and since she's too dead for her sex to be evident now, she just lets people think she's a guy for a feeble attempt at being taken more seriously.		* '''Count Repugsive''' is the Warduke expy, an anti-paladin (later Blackguard) who's angling to take his cousin's throne. He often raises undead. {{spoiler}} It turns out that ''she'' is actually both undead and a woman; she was pretty plain-looking in life, and since she's too dead for her sex to be evident now, she just lets people think she's a guy for a feeble attempt at being taken more seriously.

	'''Baphumaal''', portmanteau of Baphomet and Baal, is [[Derp\|an evil god]].		* '''Baphumaal''', portmanteau of Baphomet and Baal, is [[Derp\|an evil god]].

	==Other Recurrent Characters==		==Other Recurrent Characters==
	'''Bezzler''' (lol) was the party [[rogue]], a half-elf of some description. He sometimes joins back - when he's down on his luck a bit, and feels like the party doesn't remember what he was like ''last'' time he'd joined. Which was to steal all their shit.		* '''Bezzler''' (lol) was the party [[rogue]], a half-elf of some description. He sometimes joins back - when he's down on his luck a bit, and feels like the party doesn't remember what he was like ''last'' time he'd joined. Which was to steal all their shit.

	~~'''Henchman's Local 246''' is Nodwick's union. Henchmen here all have the suffix -wick. Worst fucking union EVAR.~~

	~~=You Know, The Thing=~~
	Where this series ran in ''Dragon'', it tended to pillory [[Old School Roleplaying\|ye olde skoole]] of modules like [[S1: Tomb of Horrors]]; where in ''Dungeon'', it commented on the adventures listed in there. On its own of course it couldn't much touch copyrighted material, so it goes more style-parody.

	~~Although mostly done for laughs, Williams is not averse to kicking the reader in the gut on occasion, for instance in an "It~~'~~s a Wonderful Life" expy in which we see what happens to the party when they~~ ''~~don~~'t'' ~~raise~~ Nodwick ~~from the dead that one time~~. ~~This author about lost it at that one and faceplanted into a tub of chocolate ice cream.~~		* '''Henchman's Local 246''' is Nodwick's union. Henchmen here all have the suffix -wick. Worst fucking union EVAR.

	~~You can read it~~ all ~~for free at nodwick.com~~. ~~Although later installments here seem to be out of sequence~~.

	==Fun Crunchy Notes==		=Fun Crunchy Notes=
	Official (well, "official") statblocks for the team under the [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] 2nd Edition ruleset can be found in the [[Giants in the Earth]] article in [[Dragon Magazine]] #270.		Official (well, "official") statblocks for the team under the [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] 2nd Edition ruleset can be found in the [[Giants in the Earth]] article in [[Dragon Magazine]] #270.