The Silmarillion - Revision history

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2023-06-23T14:56:00Z

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2023-06-19T14:18:19Z

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1d4chan>Piroko: /* The Creation Myth */

2023-01-19T04:29:04Z

The Creation Myth

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:29, 19 January 2023
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	Ilúvatar found out about the dorfs and was [[butthurt\|displeased]], as only he had the ability to genuinely sapient creatures. He had a vision of the world he was trying to create and his vision didn't include stumpy, uncouth beard people running around with picks and axes grunting "Genocide! Mining!". Aulë was ashamed, explaining he'd made them due to love for Ilúvatar, but resolved to destroy them. Ilúvatar saw Aulë's creations plead for mercy and stayed Aulë's hammer, allowing the dorfs to stay and refining Aulë's work by infusing the dorfs with the Secret Fire to give them true life. Then Aulë's wife Yavanna found out the dorfs would have axes and that [https://1d4chan.org/images/2/2f/DF_Elf_Diplomat_1.png the elves would be no good in keeping them from her trees] so she made some [[Treeman\|angry sentient trees]] of her own to fight her hubby's dorfs. How Ilúvatar handled hearing about THAT is not explored, but can't have been too bad since the Ents were allowed to stay. The dorfs would later wake up, around the mid years of Melkor's groundment.		Ilúvatar found out about the dorfs and was [[butthurt\|displeased]], as only he had the ability to genuinely sapient creatures. He had a vision of the world he was trying to create and his vision didn't include stumpy, uncouth beard people running around with picks and axes grunting "Genocide! Mining!". Aulë was ashamed, explaining he'd made them due to love for Ilúvatar, but resolved to destroy them. Ilúvatar saw Aulë's creations plead for mercy and stayed Aulë's hammer, allowing the dorfs to stay and refining Aulë's work by infusing the dorfs with the Secret Fire to give them true life. Then Aulë's wife Yavanna found out the dorfs would have axes and that [https://1d4chan.org/images/2/2f/DF_Elf_Diplomat_1.png the elves would be no good in keeping them from her trees] so she made some [[Treeman\|angry sentient trees]] of her own to fight her hubby's dorfs. How Ilúvatar handled hearing about THAT is not explored, but can't have been too bad since the Ents were allowed to stay. The dorfs would later wake up, around the mid years of Melkor's groundment.

	But their antics were nothing compared to the troublemaker of the group. An Ainur by the name of Melkor; described as [[Horus\|the most beautiful and gifted singer of all the Ainur]], decided that he wanted to create his own song. At first he was simply an arrogant prick, as he hated collaboration and wanted something that was wholly his own creation. Twice in a row he tried this, and each time Ilúvatar showed him a new, more beautiful song to both amaze the other Ainur and undo the disruptions Melkor caused [[Horus Heresy\|(because upstaging your own ~~excessively~~ proud ~~creations~~ never, ever backfires)]]. Melkor first created Fire, hot and cold. As a consequence of the creation of Fire, evil was introduced into the world, but also beauty was created as hot and cold made Weather. The second of his singing served to seat evil in the world by warping many creations, such as granting scorpions their tails. For this, Melkor was cast out of the Ainur's Chorus. Embittered and emboldened by his failure, he continued to desire the Secret Fire for himself; lacking the ability to create life on his own, he instead chose to infuse his own power into Arda, attempting to corrupt all of creation toward his will. At this, he was largely successful, even though the very act drained him of power until he feared even the power of mortals. As a result of this his influence lingers on in the world even long after his defeat; his dark power now so dispersed that nothing in Arda is truly free of its corruption. It's particularly concentrated in Gold, which is why dragons love the stuff so much. Then Ilúvatar stepped back and appointed the Valar - sans Melkor - to run Middle-Earth, only personally getting involved when the Valar asked for help, things went really pear-shaped or something really beautiful happened.		But their antics were nothing compared to the troublemaker of the group. An Ainur by the name of Melkor; described as [[Horus\|the most beautiful and gifted singer of all the Ainur]], decided that he wanted to create his own song. At first he was simply an arrogant prick, as he hated collaboration and wanted something that was wholly his own creation. Twice in a row he tried this, and each time Ilúvatar showed him a new, more beautiful song to both amaze the other Ainur and undo the disruptions Melkor caused [[Horus Heresy\|(because upstaging your own creations for being too proud never, ever backfires)]]. Melkor first created Fire, hot and cold. As a consequence of the creation of Fire, evil was introduced into the world, but also beauty was created as hot and cold made Weather. The second of his singing served to seat evil in the world by warping many creations, such as granting scorpions their tails. For this, Melkor was cast out of the Ainur's Chorus. Embittered and emboldened by his failure, he continued to desire the Secret Fire for himself; lacking the ability to create life on his own, he instead chose to infuse his own power into Arda, attempting to corrupt all of creation toward his will. At this, he was largely successful, even though the very act drained him of power until he feared even the power of mortals. As a result of this his influence lingers on in the world even long after his defeat; his dark power now so dispersed that nothing in Arda is truly free of its corruption. It's particularly concentrated in Gold, which is why dragons love the stuff so much. Then Ilúvatar stepped back and appointed the Valar - sans Melkor - to run Middle-Earth, only personally getting involved when the Valar asked for help, things went really pear-shaped or something really beautiful happened.

	==Bejewelled==		==Bejewelled==

1d4chan>Piroko: /* The Creation Myth */

2023-01-19T04:28:10Z

The Creation Myth

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:28, 19 January 2023
Line 25:		Line 25:
	Ilúvatar found out about the dorfs and was [[butthurt\|displeased]], as only he had the ability to genuinely sapient creatures. He had a vision of the world he was trying to create and his vision didn't include stumpy, uncouth beard people running around with picks and axes grunting "Genocide! Mining!". Aulë was ashamed, explaining he'd made them due to love for Ilúvatar, but resolved to destroy them. Ilúvatar saw Aulë's creations plead for mercy and stayed Aulë's hammer, allowing the dorfs to stay and refining Aulë's work by infusing the dorfs with the Secret Fire to give them true life. Then Aulë's wife Yavanna found out the dorfs would have axes and that [https://1d4chan.org/images/2/2f/DF_Elf_Diplomat_1.png the elves would be no good in keeping them from her trees] so she made some [[Treeman\|angry sentient trees]] of her own to fight her hubby's dorfs. How Ilúvatar handled hearing about THAT is not explored, but can't have been too bad since the Ents were allowed to stay. The dorfs would later wake up, around the mid years of Melkor's groundment.		Ilúvatar found out about the dorfs and was [[butthurt\|displeased]], as only he had the ability to genuinely sapient creatures. He had a vision of the world he was trying to create and his vision didn't include stumpy, uncouth beard people running around with picks and axes grunting "Genocide! Mining!". Aulë was ashamed, explaining he'd made them due to love for Ilúvatar, but resolved to destroy them. Ilúvatar saw Aulë's creations plead for mercy and stayed Aulë's hammer, allowing the dorfs to stay and refining Aulë's work by infusing the dorfs with the Secret Fire to give them true life. Then Aulë's wife Yavanna found out the dorfs would have axes and that [https://1d4chan.org/images/2/2f/DF_Elf_Diplomat_1.png the elves would be no good in keeping them from her trees] so she made some [[Treeman\|angry sentient trees]] of her own to fight her hubby's dorfs. How Ilúvatar handled hearing about THAT is not explored, but can't have been too bad since the Ents were allowed to stay. The dorfs would later wake up, around the mid years of Melkor's groundment.

	But their antics were nothing compared to the troublemaker of the group. An Ainur by the name of Melkor; described as [[Horus\|the most beautiful and gifted singer of all the Ainur]], decided that he wanted to create his own song. At first he was simply an arrogant prick, as he hated collaboration and wanted something that was wholly his own creation. Twice in a row he tried this, and each time Ilúvatar showed him a new, more beautiful song to both amaze the other Ainur and undo the disruptions Melkor caused. Melkor first created Fire, hot and cold. As a consequence of the creation of Fire, evil was introduced into the world, but also beauty was created as hot and cold made Weather. The second of his singing served to seat evil in the world by warping many creations, such as granting scorpions their tails. For this, Melkor was cast out of the Ainur's Chorus. Embittered and emboldened by his failure, he continued to desire the Secret Fire for himself; lacking the ability to create life on his own, he instead chose to infuse his own power into Arda, attempting to corrupt all of creation toward his will. At this, he was largely successful, even though the very act drained him of power until he feared even the power of mortals. As a result of this his influence lingers on in the world even long after his defeat; his dark power now so dispersed that nothing in Arda is truly free of its corruption. It's particularly concentrated in Gold, which is why dragons love the stuff so much. Then Ilúvatar stepped back and appointed the Valar - sans Melkor - to run Middle-Earth, only personally getting involved when the Valar asked for help, things went really pear-shaped or something really beautiful happened.		But their antics were nothing compared to the troublemaker of the group. An Ainur by the name of Melkor; described as [[Horus\|the most beautiful and gifted singer of all the Ainur]], decided that he wanted to create his own song. At first he was simply an arrogant prick, as he hated collaboration and wanted something that was wholly his own creation. Twice in a row he tried this, and each time Ilúvatar showed him a new, more beautiful song to both amaze the other Ainur and undo the disruptions Melkor caused [[Horus Heresy\|(because upstaging your own excessively proud creations never, ever backfires)]]. Melkor first created Fire, hot and cold. As a consequence of the creation of Fire, evil was introduced into the world, but also beauty was created as hot and cold made Weather. The second of his singing served to seat evil in the world by warping many creations, such as granting scorpions their tails. For this, Melkor was cast out of the Ainur's Chorus. Embittered and emboldened by his failure, he continued to desire the Secret Fire for himself; lacking the ability to create life on his own, he instead chose to infuse his own power into Arda, attempting to corrupt all of creation toward his will. At this, he was largely successful, even though the very act drained him of power until he feared even the power of mortals. As a result of this his influence lingers on in the world even long after his defeat; his dark power now so dispersed that nothing in Arda is truly free of its corruption. It's particularly concentrated in Gold, which is why dragons love the stuff so much. Then Ilúvatar stepped back and appointed the Valar - sans Melkor - to run Middle-Earth, only personally getting involved when the Valar asked for help, things went really pear-shaped or something really beautiful happened.

	==Bejewelled==		==Bejewelled==

146.70.45.166: /* Bejewelled */

2022-09-14T01:26:56Z

Bejewelled

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:26, 14 September 2022
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	==Bejewelled==		==Bejewelled==
	The Valar looking after Middle-Earth got sick of Melkor's shit and made two lamps to light up the world to keep Arda (the Earth) from being nothing but shades of grey with chest-high walls. Melkor, destroyed these lamps and fled. So they decided that if Melkor was going to be a little bitch and destroy shit, they might as well turtle up in their own corner of the world. And so they went to the western continent (called Aman), and resolved to '''Make Aman Great Again''' by building a giant fuckoff wall of mountains to keep out all the <s>Mexicans</s> ''middle earthers'', and growing a couple glowing trees for mood lighting. Eventually they got around to making stars, and managed to locate the Elves. Although not before Melkor found them first and took a few. Then Tulkas came out with a folding chair, threw Melkor out of the ring and dragged him back as a captive (but not before he had a chance to corrupt some Elves, essentially turning them into Orcs. Maybe.). Elves had spawned in Middle Earth (the central continent), but the Valar invited them to Aman in what was later to be dubbed "worst idea ever".		The Valar looking after Middle-Earth got sick of Melkor's shit and made two lamps to light up the world to keep Arda (the Earth) from being nothing but shades of grey with chest-high walls. Melkor, destroyed these lamps and fled. The Valar couldn't chase after him to give him a well-deserved spanking because they were too busy trying to stop the world from exploding as a result of Melkor's shenanigans. So they decided that if Melkor was going to be a little bitch and destroy shit, they might as well turtle up in their own corner of the world. And so they went to the western continent (called Aman), and resolved to '''Make Aman Great Again''' by building a giant fuckoff wall of mountains to keep out all the <s>Mexicans</s> ''middle earthers'', and growing a couple glowing trees for mood lighting. Eventually they got around to making stars, and managed to locate the Elves. Although not before Melkor found them first and took a few. Then Tulkas came out with a folding chair, threw Melkor out of the ring and dragged him back as a captive (but not before he had a chance to corrupt some Elves, essentially turning them into Orcs. Maybe.). Elves had spawned in Middle Earth (the central continent), but the Valar invited them to Aman in what was later to be dubbed "worst idea ever", as basically the Valar's plan to keep the elves safe from all the monsters that Melkor had left behind was to keep the elves locked away in their house like overprotective parents.

	Most of the Elves took the offer and for a while things were working out really well as they applied their creativity to all the crafting skills the Valar taught them. Fëanor, an elf prince, made three awesome jewels called the Silmarils that glowed just like the two trees used to light up the place. However, fucking Melkor decided to be a sneaky prick. He pretended to apologize to the Valar, and asked if he could see what they were working on. Caught off-guard by his apology, they accepted. Bringing in a giant spider demon he'd met in the void called Ungoliant, he immediately smote the two trees while Ungoliant drained their sap, killing them. Then he stole the Silmarils and fucked off to Middle-Earth to raid the elves there.		Most of the Elves took the offer and for a while things were working out really well as they applied their creativity to all the crafting skills the Valar taught them. Fëanor, an elf prince, made three awesome jewels called the Silmarils that glowed just like the two trees used to light up the place. However, fucking Melkor decided to be a sneaky prick. He pretended to apologize to the Valar, and asked if he could see what they were working on. Caught off-guard by his apology, they accepted. Bringing in a giant spider demon he'd met in the void called Ungoliant, he immediately smote the two trees while Ungoliant drained their sap, killing them. Then he stole the Silmarils and fucked off to Middle-Earth to raid the elves there.

115.70.44.117: /* Bejewelled */

2022-09-14T01:17:31Z

Bejewelled

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:17, 14 September 2022
Line 28:		Line 28:

	==Bejewelled==		==Bejewelled==
	The Valar ~~that still wanted to control everything~~ got sick of Melkor's shit ~~after he destroyed~~ the ~~two lights they were using~~ to keep Arda (the Earth) from being nothing but shades of grey with chest-high walls. ~~These lamps blew up when~~ Melkor ~~knocked them over~~, and ~~split the formerly continuous landmass into three separate continents~~. So they decided that if Melkor was going to be a little bitch and destroy shit, they might as well turtle up in their own corner of the world. And so they went to the western continent (called Aman), and resolved to '''Make Aman Great Again''' by building a giant fuckoff wall of mountains to keep out all the <s>Mexicans</s> ''middle earthers'', and growing a couple glowing trees for mood lighting. Eventually they got around to making stars, and managed to locate the Elves. Although not before Melkor found them first and took a few. Then Tulkas came out with a folding chair, threw Melkor out of the ring and dragged him back as a captive (but not before he had a chance to corrupt some Elves, essentially turning them into Orcs. Maybe.). Elves had spawned in Middle Earth (the central continent), but the Valar invited them to Aman in what was later to be dubbed "worst idea ever".		The Valar looking after Middle-Earth got sick of Melkor's shit and made two lamps to light up the world to keep Arda (the Earth) from being nothing but shades of grey with chest-high walls. Melkor, destroyed these lamps and fled. So they decided that if Melkor was going to be a little bitch and destroy shit, they might as well turtle up in their own corner of the world. And so they went to the western continent (called Aman), and resolved to '''Make Aman Great Again''' by building a giant fuckoff wall of mountains to keep out all the <s>Mexicans</s> ''middle earthers'', and growing a couple glowing trees for mood lighting. Eventually they got around to making stars, and managed to locate the Elves. Although not before Melkor found them first and took a few. Then Tulkas came out with a folding chair, threw Melkor out of the ring and dragged him back as a captive (but not before he had a chance to corrupt some Elves, essentially turning them into Orcs. Maybe.). Elves had spawned in Middle Earth (the central continent), but the Valar invited them to Aman in what was later to be dubbed "worst idea ever".

	Most of the Elves took the offer and for a while things were working out really well as they applied their creativity to all the crafting skills the Valar taught them. Fëanor, an elf prince, made three awesome jewels called the Silmarils that glowed just like the two trees used to light up the place. However, fucking Melkor decided to be a sneaky prick. He pretended to apologize to the Valar, and asked if he could see what they were working on. Caught off-guard by his apology, they accepted. He immediately smote the two trees, killing them, stole the Silmarils and fucked off to Middle-Earth to raid the elves there. He got his ass handed to him again, and holed up in the roguelike dungeon expansion pack Angband, due to his old Utumno version being too resource-intensive. Then Melkor went on a crafting spree, creating beings such as werewolves and vampires for any Maia who helped him and started making dragons for himself who, who for some reason, took longer to make. He then spammed the Maia with messages and gave some of the ones who joined him the gift of being "Balrogs", while the first dragon - code-named "Glaurung" - was successful enough to start testing on his enemies. But Glaurung attacked Ard-galen too early, due to Melkor being a fail, which alerted the Valar to Melkor's plans. Annoyed, Melkor managed to retrieve and perfect Glaurung, and used him as the prototype to create more dragons, the largest by far being Ancalagon. Once finished, he [[Powergamer\|spawned an army of them]] to rampage across Middle-Earth before multiple factions joined forces and were thwarted by Melkor's army, in an event later known as the Battle of Unnumbered Tears, though Ancalagon wasn't slain until the War of Wrath.		Most of the Elves took the offer and for a while things were working out really well as they applied their creativity to all the crafting skills the Valar taught them. Fëanor, an elf prince, made three awesome jewels called the Silmarils that glowed just like the two trees used to light up the place. However, fucking Melkor decided to be a sneaky prick. He pretended to apologize to the Valar, and asked if he could see what they were working on. Caught off-guard by his apology, they accepted. Bringing in a giant spider demon he'd met in the void called Ungoliant, he immediately smote the two trees while Ungoliant drained their sap, killing them. Then he stole the Silmarils and fucked off to Middle-Earth to raid the elves there.

	Fëanor was ~~fucking~~ pissed, so much that it would make Angry Marines look like pussies, and kept calling Melkor "Morgoth." He was so pissed he picked a fight with another elf kingdom when they said "Dude, just chill". ~~His~~ sons would later pick up ~~his~~ [[Kharn\|teamkilling]] habits, the greedy little psychos. He travelled to Middle-Earth, raiding Angband over and over again to try and get his light-jewels back, and got himself killed. His elf kingdom stayed there, split between his sons, his half-brother, his half-brother's sons, his ''other'' half-brother's sons, and a king named Thingol who wasn't related to him, and who was understandably [[Butthurt\|salty as fuck]] when he found out about the teamkilling of his related kin. They kept attacking Angband for 400 years until Morgoth said "enough already!" and got those damn kids off his front lawn.		He got his ass handed to him again, and holed up in the roguelike dungeon expansion pack Angband, due to his old Utumno version being too resource-intensive. Then Melkor went on a crafting spree, creating beings such as werewolves and vampires for any Maia who helped him and started making dragons for himself who, who for some reason, took longer to make. He then spammed the Maia with messages and gave some of the ones who joined him the gift of being "Balrogs", while the first dragon - code-named "Glaurung" - was successful enough to start testing on his enemies. But Glaurung attacked Ard-galen too early, due to Melkor being a fail, which alerted the Valar to Melkor's plans. Annoyed, Melkor managed to retrieve and perfect Glaurung, and used him as the prototype to create more dragons, the largest by far being Ancalagon. Once finished, he [[Powergamer\|spawned an army of them]] to rampage across Middle-Earth before multiple factions joined forces and were thwarted by Melkor's army, in an event later known as the Battle of Unnumbered Tears, though Ancalagon wasn't slain until the War of Wrath.

			Fëanor was pissed, as Melkor's theft of the Silmarils, so much that it would make Angry Marines look like pussies, and kept calling Melkor "Morgoth". He was so pissed he picked a fight with another elf kingdom when they refused to give him their boats and said "Dude, just chill". He even had some of his sons swear an oath that they'd get the gems back no matter what and would punish anyone who stopped them, even the Valar themselves. They took this so seriously they would later pick up papa's [[Kharn\|teamkilling]] habits, the greedy little psychos. He travelled to Middle-Earth, raiding Angband over and over again to try and get his light-jewels back, and got himself killed by the captain of the Balrogs. His elf kingdom stayed there, split between his sons, his half-brother, his half-brother's sons, his ''other'' half-brother's sons, and a king named Thingol who wasn't related to him, and who was understandably [[Butthurt\|salty as fuck]] when he found out about the teamkilling of his related kin. They kept attacking Angband for 400 years until Morgoth said "enough already!" and got those damn kids off his front lawn.
	[[File:TolkienElves_at_Night.jpg\|right\|400px\|thumb\|I have seen the light! AND IT BURNS!!!]]		[[File:TolkienElves_at_Night.jpg\|right\|400px\|thumb\|I have seen the light! AND IT BURNS!!!]]
	Meanwhile, back in Aman, the Valar hastily ~~tried to replace~~ the lost light tree thingies with a ~~star~~. ~~This new~~ 'sun' only works half the time, but it's better than nothing. (If you say "they could've used the Silmaril", those ~~got~~ stolen so what're you gonna do?) Besides, the bloody elves really liked the stars and would've bitched for eons if they got completely replaced. It was also around this time that Ilúvatar's second batch of creations woke up, a watered down version of Elves called Men. At some point Men got their first experience with encountering Angband and Morgoth. ~~Some~~ worshipped Morgoth (the Original Sin for humanity in Middle-Earth), but ~~others~~ saw how much of [[That Guy]] he was and got away ASAP.		Meanwhile, back in Aman, the Valar hastily replaced the lost light tree thingies with a fruit and a seed of the trees. The fruit became the 'sun' and only works half the time, but it's better than nothing (If you say "they could've used the Silmaril", those were stolen and stashed away by Melkor, so what're you gonna do?) and the seed became the moon. Besides, the bloody elves really liked the stars and would've bitched for eons if they got completely replaced. It was also around this time that Ilúvatar's second batch of creations woke up, a watered down version of Elves called Men. At some point Men got their first experience with encountering Angband and Morgoth. Initially they worshipped Morgoth (the Original Sin for humanity in Middle-Earth), but some saw how much of [[That Guy]] he was and got away ASAP.

	Then [[Tolkien\|the DM]] made a character for himself, named Beren, and started a romance with an elf king's daughter Lúthien (the Dungeon-master's-girlfriend's character). Elf-dad Thingol was [[H.P. Lovecraft\|a cultural elitist and a snob]], but that would look bad, so he said "sure you can date my daughter, IF you can finish a run of Angband by bringing a Silmaril jewel back to me." Beren and Lúthien did the quest together, almost got wrecked by a Maiar named Sauron (more on him later), but managed to pull it off. On the way back they encountered Carcharoth, the world's mightiest werewolf, so Lúthien ~~hit him with a~~ sleep spell~~... but he woke up before the spell ended so~~ Beren tried to fend him off with the Simaril's light. Instead, Carcharoth bit off Beren's hand and swallowed it along with the Simaril, but touching Simarils is agonizing for anything evil (they scarred Melkor's hands) so Carcharoth was wracked with so much pain that he fled. The wedding was on a Tuesday, and afterwards Beren led a raid to kill Carcharoth and get the god damned Simaril back, which they accomplished. But Beren and a heroic Valar-blessed dog got killed by Carcharoth's poison bite. Lúthien later became an heroine... but she sang some Goth poetry to the Grim Reaper-equivalent who, with Ilúvatar's permission, gives them an extra life for finding the Simiaril, and they both live as mortals until they died a second time.		Then [[Tolkien\|the DM]] made a character for himself, named Beren, and started a romance with an elf king's daughter Lúthien (the Dungeon-master's-girlfriend's character). Elf-dad Thingol was [[H.P. Lovecraft\|a cultural elitist and a snob]], but that would look bad, so he said "sure you can date my daughter, IF you can finish a run of Angband by bringing a Silmaril jewel back to me." Beren and Lúthien did the quest together, almost got wrecked by a Maiar named Sauron (more on him later), but managed to pull it off with disguises and a sleep spell. On the way back they encountered Carcharoth, the world's mightiest werewolf, and since Lúthien was exhausted from her sleep spell, Beren tried to fend him off with the Simaril's light. Instead, Carcharoth bit off Beren's hand and swallowed it along with the Simaril, but touching Simarils is agonizing for anything evil (they permanently scarred Melkor's hands) so Carcharoth was wracked with so much pain that he fled. The wedding was on a Tuesday, and afterwards Beren led a raid to kill Carcharoth and get the god damned Simaril back, which they accomplished. But Beren and a heroic Valar-blessed dog got killed by Carcharoth's poison bite. Lúthien later became an heroine... but she sang some Goth poetry to the Grim Reaper-equivalent who, with Ilúvatar's permission, gives them an extra life for finding the Simiaril, and they both live as mortals until they died a second time.

	The rest of the grey elves were pretty sure that a Man and an Elf playing together was some kind of exploit, so they actually started treating them well, just like they had kindly treated the Dwarves, at that time. Unfortunately, Melkor was able to appeal to the inherent evil and greed of Men and got them to do all kinds of stupid shit. Still, not every Man was an idiot, some had great skill or wisdom, so the elves didn't go back to being total pricks. Some men picked up Morgoth's trollish habits and became his underlings, but there were also three bro-tier clans of men closely allied to the elves and fought on the front lines of the siege, who were collectively known as the Edain.		The rest of the grey elves were pretty sure that a Man and an Elf playing together was some kind of exploit, so they actually started treating them well, just like they had kindly treated the Dwarves, at that time. Unfortunately, Melkor was able to appeal to the inherent evil and greed of Men and got them to do all kinds of stupid shit. Still, not every Man was an idiot, some had great skill or wisdom, so the elves didn't go back to being total pricks. Some men picked up Morgoth's trollish habits and became his underlings, but there were also three bro-tier clans of men closely allied to the elves and fought on the front lines of the siege, who were collectively known as the Edain.

115.70.44.117: /* The Creation Myth */

2022-09-14T01:07:11Z

The Creation Myth

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:07, 14 September 2022
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	Ilúvatar found out about the dorfs and was [[butthurt\|displeased]], as only he had the ability to genuinely sapient creatures. He had a vision of the world he was trying to create and his vision didn't include stumpy, uncouth beard people running around with picks and axes grunting "Genocide! Mining!". Aulë was ashamed, explaining he'd made them due to love for Ilúvatar, but resolved to destroy them. Ilúvatar saw Aulë's creations plead for mercy and stayed Aulë's hammer, allowing the dorfs to stay and refining Aulë's work by infusing the dorfs with the Secret Fire to give them true life. Then Aulë's wife Yavanna found out the dorfs would have axes and that [https://1d4chan.org/images/2/2f/DF_Elf_Diplomat_1.png the elves would be no good in keeping them from her trees] so she made some [[Treeman\|angry sentient trees]] of her own to fight her hubby's dorfs. How Ilúvatar handled hearing about THAT is not explored, but can't have been too bad since the Ents were allowed to stay. The dorfs would later wake up, around the mid years of Melkor's groundment.		Ilúvatar found out about the dorfs and was [[butthurt\|displeased]], as only he had the ability to genuinely sapient creatures. He had a vision of the world he was trying to create and his vision didn't include stumpy, uncouth beard people running around with picks and axes grunting "Genocide! Mining!". Aulë was ashamed, explaining he'd made them due to love for Ilúvatar, but resolved to destroy them. Ilúvatar saw Aulë's creations plead for mercy and stayed Aulë's hammer, allowing the dorfs to stay and refining Aulë's work by infusing the dorfs with the Secret Fire to give them true life. Then Aulë's wife Yavanna found out the dorfs would have axes and that [https://1d4chan.org/images/2/2f/DF_Elf_Diplomat_1.png the elves would be no good in keeping them from her trees] so she made some [[Treeman\|angry sentient trees]] of her own to fight her hubby's dorfs. How Ilúvatar handled hearing about THAT is not explored, but can't have been too bad since the Ents were allowed to stay. The dorfs would later wake up, around the mid years of Melkor's groundment.

	But their antics were nothing compared to the troublemaker of the group. An Ainur by the name of Melkor; described as [[Horus\|the most beautiful and gifted singer of all the Ainur]], decided that he wanted to create his own song. At first he was simply an arrogant prick, as he hated collaboration and wanted something that was wholly his own creation. Twice in a row he tried this, and each time Ilúvatar showed him a new, more beautiful song to both amaze the other Ainur, and ~~show up~~ Melkor ~~[[fail\|(because attempting to humble selfish people by upstaging them never, ever backfires)]]~~. Melkor first created Fire, hot and cold. As a consequence of the creation of Fire, evil was introduced into the world, but also beauty was created as hot and cold made Weather. The second of his singing served to seat evil in the world by warping many creations, such as granting scorpions their tails. For this, Melkor was cast out of the Ainur's Chorus. Embittered and emboldened by his failure, he continued to desire the Secret Fire for himself; lacking the ability to create life on his own, he instead chose to infuse his own power into Arda, attempting to corrupt all of creation toward his will. At this, he was largely successful, even though the very act drained him of power until he feared even the power of mortals. As a result of this his influence lingers on in the world even long after his defeat; his dark power now so dispersed that nothing in Arda is truly free of its corruption. It's particularly concentrated in Gold, which is why dragons love the stuff so much. Then Ilúvatar stepped back and appointed the Valar - sans Melkor - to run Middle-Earth, only personally getting involved when the Valar asked for help, things went really pear-shaped or something really beautiful happened.		But their antics were nothing compared to the troublemaker of the group. An Ainur by the name of Melkor; described as [[Horus\|the most beautiful and gifted singer of all the Ainur]], decided that he wanted to create his own song. At first he was simply an arrogant prick, as he hated collaboration and wanted something that was wholly his own creation. Twice in a row he tried this, and each time Ilúvatar showed him a new, more beautiful song to both amaze the other Ainur and undo the disruptions Melkor caused. Melkor first created Fire, hot and cold. As a consequence of the creation of Fire, evil was introduced into the world, but also beauty was created as hot and cold made Weather. The second of his singing served to seat evil in the world by warping many creations, such as granting scorpions their tails. For this, Melkor was cast out of the Ainur's Chorus. Embittered and emboldened by his failure, he continued to desire the Secret Fire for himself; lacking the ability to create life on his own, he instead chose to infuse his own power into Arda, attempting to corrupt all of creation toward his will. At this, he was largely successful, even though the very act drained him of power until he feared even the power of mortals. As a result of this his influence lingers on in the world even long after his defeat; his dark power now so dispersed that nothing in Arda is truly free of its corruption. It's particularly concentrated in Gold, which is why dragons love the stuff so much. Then Ilúvatar stepped back and appointed the Valar - sans Melkor - to run Middle-Earth, only personally getting involved when the Valar asked for help, things went really pear-shaped or something really beautiful happened.

	==Bejewelled==		==Bejewelled==

115.70.44.117: /* Civilization */

2022-07-29T06:36:53Z

Civilization

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	By now both Númenórean factions owned colonies on Middle Earth. These clustered around the Bay of Belfalas on account of Mordor being the main threat: we know them as Gondor and Umbar. Also the Númenóreans had been enjoying a decent climate for the whole of the Second Age, and it was just ''nicer'' down there. Arnor, whence the Dúnedain originated, was neglected as too cold and non-strategic anymore. Ar-Pharazôn persecuted the Faithful at home but we're not told how far his writ ran in the Middle-Earth colonies; we assume that the Faithful drifted more toward Arnor, their ancestral home and with more Elves in it, because Third Age Umbar will end up a nest of Sauronism.		By now both Númenórean factions owned colonies on Middle Earth. These clustered around the Bay of Belfalas on account of Mordor being the main threat: we know them as Gondor and Umbar. Also the Númenóreans had been enjoying a decent climate for the whole of the Second Age, and it was just ''nicer'' down there. Arnor, whence the Dúnedain originated, was neglected as too cold and non-strategic anymore. Ar-Pharazôn persecuted the Faithful at home but we're not told how far his writ ran in the Middle-Earth colonies; we assume that the Faithful drifted more toward Arnor, their ancestral home and with more Elves in it, because Third Age Umbar will end up a nest of Sauronism.

	The Western fleet easily defeated Sauron's army. The Númenóreans all patted themselves on the back because capturing Sauron was [[just_as_planned\|totally their idea]]. Sauron's a Maia, so killing him is impossible, he just chilled in the dungeons, and told the Men how awesome they were even though they aren't elves... cause elves are immortal, hoping to give the Dúnedain lifespan envy so he could manipulate them with it. The Dúnedain started getting into fad diets and buying life-extension supplements on home-shopping channels, which in a sick twist of irony, made their lifespans shorter. "Well, if I was a Valar, I could make men essentially immortal," ~~said Sauron,~~ and the Dúnedain totally [[Just_as_planned\|came up with the idea on their own]] to attack the Valar to demand immortality. "My old boss Melkor is a Vala, maybe he could help if he was free," and the Dúnedain fell for that bullshit too. Except for the Faithful but they couldn't talk sense into these idiots so they all took that western distraction to sneak off east for Gondor/Arnor.		The Western fleet easily defeated Sauron's army. The Númenóreans all patted themselves on the back because capturing Sauron was [[just_as_planned\|totally their idea]]. Sauron's a Maia, so killing him is impossible, he just chilled in the dungeons, and told the Men how awesome they were even though they aren't elves... cause elves are immortal, hoping to give the Dúnedain lifespan envy so he could manipulate them with it. The Dúnedain started getting into fad diets and buying life-extension supplements on home-shopping channels, which in a sick twist of irony, made their lifespans shorter. They also started [[Dark Eldar\|going on raids to capture people from Eastern Kingdoms such as Harad to sacrifice them in rituals the Númenóreans were convinced would extend their lives]] (which would come back to bite their descendants). During this time Sauron also said "Well, if I was a Valar, I could make men essentially immortal," and the Dúnedain totally [[Just_as_planned\|came up with the idea on their own]] to attack the Valar to demand immortality. Then Sauron said "My old boss Melkor is a Vala, maybe he could help if he was free," and the Dúnedain fell for that bullshit too. Except for the Faithful but they couldn't talk sense into these idiots so they all took that western distraction to sneak off east for Gondor/Arnor.

	So the Dúnedain prepared their armies, and sailed west. The Valar and Elves knew they were getting a full-on invasion, and appealed to Ilúvatar all-father to save their butts. Ilúvatar agreed and got his smiting on to decimate the invasion fleet, made Middle-Earth round instead of flat, and sank the island of Númenor like Thera for good measure. Sauron was still in it when the place was rekt. Some Men of Númenor managed to survive, mostly those who'd already colonized Middle-Earth. Those in Arnor were overwhelmingly Faithful; Gondor might have been a mix, but we can assume that the King's Men were predominant along the coast and what do you ''think'' happens to coasts when a continent is suddenly submerged offshore? (hint: it rhymes with "salami"). The survivors still had their abilities, and without the metropole they easily became KANGS in their own right, forming the majority in Gondor and an aristocratic minority in Arnor. Umbar, we dunno; they're not much of a factor in what follows, understandably, since their golden boy had died of extreme stupidity with his vizier to blame. They're more important in the Third Age.		So the Dúnedain prepared their armies, and sailed west. The Valar and Elves knew they were getting a full-on invasion, and appealed to Ilúvatar all-father to save their butts. Ilúvatar agreed and got his smiting on to decimate the invasion fleet, made Middle-Earth round instead of flat, and sank the island of Númenor like Thera for good measure. Sauron was still in it when the place was rekt. Some Men of Númenor managed to survive, mostly those who'd already colonized Middle-Earth. Those in Arnor were overwhelmingly Faithful; Gondor might have been a mix, but we can assume that the King's Men were predominant along the coast and what do you ''think'' happens to coasts when a continent is suddenly submerged offshore? (hint: it rhymes with "salami"). The survivors still had their abilities, and without the metropole they easily became KANGS in their own right, forming the majority in Gondor and an aristocratic minority in Arnor. Umbar, we dunno; they're not much of a factor in what follows, understandably, since their golden boy had died of extreme stupidity with his vizier to blame. They're more important in the Third Age.

	Turns out Sauron too survived this "atalante" (get it??) because he still had his [[lich]] phylactery, the Ring; we don't know if he was wearing it when Shit Went Down or if he'd stashed it in the Barad-dûr. Either way, he came back, not as pretty as he once was, nor quite at his full power, but certainly in position to hit back at the Númenórean remnants in Middle Earth and at their allies starting with some border skirmishes.		Turns out Sauron too survived this "atalante" (get it??) because he still had his [[lich]] phylactery, the Ring; we don't know if he was wearing it when Shit Went Down or if he'd stashed it in the Barad-dûr. Either way, he came back, not as pretty as he once was, nor quite at his full power, but certainly in position to hit back at the Númenórean remnants in Middle Earth and at their allies starting with some border skirmishes. He also rallied the Easterlings who'd maintained their worship of him and approached the descendants of the peoples the Númenóreans raided, saying "Hey, wasn't it horrible how the Númenóreans oppressed you, abused you and sacrificed your ancestors? Don't you want to make them pay for these injustices?" and "Nice civilization you've got there. It'd be a shame if armies of Orcs and Trolls ravaged it."

	The Elves (lead by their High King Gil-galad and the aforementioned Elrond) and the survivors of Númenor (lead by the new High King of Gondor and Arnor King Elendil) teamed up for a Pre Emptive Strike - and won! Although Elendil and his younger son Anarion bought the farm, his oldest son Isildur cut the Ring from Sauron and won the war. Just as the elves started thinking maybe not all Dúnedain were greedy shits like the ones that tried to attack Aman, Isildur decided the One Ring was too awesome to destroy and kept it for himself. Elves gave up on Men totally and with Gil-galad also dying in the battle and the High Kingship passing onto the Vanyar back in Aman took the Valar pardon and returned to Aman (in the case of the group who hadn't left Middle Earth in the first place, migrated) with some waiting out of guilt or honor (or simply attachment for their homes) until the Sauron situation was resolved. Isildur himself was later shot to death in an Orc ambush, losing the One Ring in a river. This also left Gondor and Arnor with two separate monarchies, not to be united until 3000 years later.		The Elves (lead by their High King Gil-galad and the aforementioned Elrond) and the survivors of Númenor (lead by the new High King of Gondor and Arnor King Elendil) teamed up for a Pre Emptive Strike - and won! Although Elendil and his younger son Anarion bought the farm, his oldest son Isildur cut the Ring from Sauron and won the war. Just as the elves started thinking maybe not all Dúnedain were greedy shits like the ones that tried to attack Aman, Isildur decided the One Ring was too awesome to destroy and kept it for himself. Elves gave up on Men totally and with Gil-galad also dying in the battle and the High Kingship passing onto the Vanyar back in Aman took the Valar pardon and returned to Aman (in the case of the group who hadn't left Middle Earth in the first place, migrated) with some waiting out of guilt or honor (or simply attachment for their homes) until the Sauron situation was resolved. Isildur himself was later shot to death in an Orc ambush, losing the One Ring in a river. This also left Gondor and Arnor with two separate monarchies, not to be united until 3000 years later.

	At some point five Maiar were sent as the Istari (Wizards) to try and stop even more stupid shit happening and make absolutely definitely certain that Sauron was absolutely definitely really dead this time. Two (<s>Alatar and Pallando</s> Morinehtar and Rómestámo) went to the Eastern Kingdoms while three (Gandalf, Radaghast and Saruman) headed West.		At some point five Maiar were sent as the Istari (Wizards) to try and stop even more stupid shit happening and make absolutely definitely certain that Sauron was absolutely definitely really dead this time. Two (<s>Alatar and Pallando</s> Morinehtar and Rómestámo) went to the Eastern Kingdoms to help them see why they shouldn't worship Sauron and Melkor while three (Gandalf, Radaghast and Saruman) headed West.

	Also Arnor managed to get themselves split into three kingdoms and then destroyed by the evil kingdom of Angmar that was lead by the most powerful Ringwraith, the Witch King. The Breelanders are the distant descendants of the last survivors. The Witch King was forced to retreat when Eärnur, 33rd King of Gondor and Glorfindel (who, despite dying in the escape from Gondolin's Fall taking a Balrog -as a side note, Ecthelion killed the Lord of Balrogs, Gothmog, in this battle at the cost of his own life- with him, was allowed to return to Middle Earth as a one off special allowance valid until the other lingering Elves depart to leave the Halls of Mandos where Elves who die are revived and stay) defeat him in the Battle of Fornost and destroy his army. Glorfindel makes the prophecy that the Witch King can not be killed by a man, making Eärnur let him escape. As a side note, a company of Hobbit archers were accompanying the Gondor, Arnor Survivor and Lindon-Rivendell Elf army. The last king of Gondor is then taunted about his sparing of the Witch King and decided to [[meme\|simply walk into Mordor]] and disappeared, with the direct line from Elendil ended, Gondor would be subsequently ruled by a line of Stewards.		Also Arnor managed to get themselves split into three kingdoms and then destroyed by the evil kingdom of Angmar that was lead by the most powerful Ringwraith, the Witch King. The Breelanders are the distant descendants of the last survivors. The Witch King was forced to retreat when Eärnur, 33rd King of Gondor and Glorfindel (who, despite dying in the escape from Gondolin's Fall taking a Balrog -as a side note, Ecthelion killed the Lord of Balrogs, Gothmog, in this battle at the cost of his own life- with him, was allowed to return to Middle Earth as a one off special allowance valid until the other lingering Elves depart to leave the Halls of Mandos where Elves who die are revived and stay) defeat him in the Battle of Fornost and destroy his army. Glorfindel makes the prophecy that the Witch King can not be killed by a man, making Eärnur let him escape. As a side note, a company of Hobbit archers were accompanying the Gondor, Arnor Survivor and Lindon-Rivendell Elf army. The last king of Gondor is then taunted about his sparing of the Witch King and decided to [[meme\|simply walk into Mordor]] and disappeared, with the direct line from Elendil ended, Gondor would be subsequently ruled by a line of Stewards.

1d4chan>Veritos Halm: /* Gallery */

2022-03-06T16:00:19Z

Gallery

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	<gallery>		<gallery>
	File:Silmarillion Compass.png\|thumb\|Compass of the Residents of Arda.		File:Silmarillion Compass.png\|thumb\|Compass of the Residents of Arda.
			File:Introduction Guide into J. R. R. Tolkien's Legendarium.png\|thumb\|Tolkien reading guide.
	</gallery>		</gallery>

	[[Category:Literature]][[Category:The Lord of the Rings]]		[[Category:Literature]][[Category:The Lord of the Rings]]

95.147.214.106 at 23:32, 22 February 2022

2022-02-22T23:32:28Z

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	= In A Nutshell =		= In A Nutshell =
	==The Creation Myth==		==The Creation Myth==

			{{topquote\|Eru, hand me the aux cord.\|Melkor}}
			{{topquote\|Okay, but you better not play evil.\|Eru Ilúvatar (in an uncharacteristic lapse of judgement)}}

	In the beginning, there was absolutely nothing (except for [[Tom Bombadil]], but he doesn't mind). Then the god Eru Ilúvatar began singing. Of course this wasn't just any sort of singing, because to gods like him, [[Bonesinger\|singing was a means of weaving raw magic into a pure and physical form]]. He began his singing by creating his children, the Ainur, who in turn joined him in a new heavenly chorus. There were many Ainur, who were divided into the older and more powerful Valar, and the younger and less powerful Maiar. (Many better-known LOTR characters that are Maiar include Gandalf, Saruman, the Balrogs, and Sauron.) The Ainur each sang a different part of the world into existence, such as Ulmo who created the seas and oceans, the only thing Ilúvatar added was the Secret Fire, the source of life that only he possessed. The Ainur continued singing various into existence, including Aulë who created the Dwarves.		In the beginning, there was absolutely nothing (except for [[Tom Bombadil]], but he doesn't mind). Then the god Eru Ilúvatar began singing. Of course this wasn't just any sort of singing, because to gods like him, [[Bonesinger\|singing was a means of weaving raw magic into a pure and physical form]]. He began his singing by creating his children, the Ainur, who in turn joined him in a new heavenly chorus. There were many Ainur, who were divided into the older and more powerful Valar, and the younger and less powerful Maiar. (Many better-known LOTR characters that are Maiar include Gandalf, Saruman, the Balrogs, and Sauron.) The Ainur each sang a different part of the world into existence, such as Ulmo who created the seas and oceans, the only thing Ilúvatar added was the Secret Fire, the source of life that only he possessed. The Ainur continued singing various into existence, including Aulë who created the Dwarves.
	[[File:Hades_Angry.jpg\|right\|300px\|thumb\|When your soulless song minions start creating their own songs.]]		[[File:Hades_Angry.jpg\|right\|300px\|thumb\|When your soulless song minions start creating their own songs.]]