The Toilets of the 41st Millennium - Revision history

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2023-06-23T14:57:33Z

201 revisions imported

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2023-06-19T14:18:25Z

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2A02:1810:4E2C:A900:3D6C:5C98:46F7:4F7D at 16:19, 8 March 2023

2023-03-08T16:19:37Z

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120.28.91.209: /* Great Toilet Stalls of the Space Marines */

2022-12-20T05:46:37Z

Great Toilet Stalls of the Space Marines

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:46, 20 December 2022
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	[[Raptors]] - None. Shitting isn't a strategically viable action unless it is to cheaply produce desert camo for their armor.		[[Raptors]] - None. Shitting isn't a strategically viable action unless it is to cheaply produce desert camo for their armor.

			[[Red Scorpions]] - Master crafted porcelain with auto-bidets made of advanced archaeotech, with the finest examples being a series of four toilets in increasing order of decoration, culminating with the last one made for Dreadnoughts.

	[[Astral Knights]] - They used Necron Overlords as toilets and wiped with the skin of dead flayers.		[[Astral Knights]] - They used Necron Overlords as toilets and wiped with the skin of dead flayers.

116.15.77.167 at 18:14, 14 October 2022

2022-10-14T18:14:25Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:14, 14 October 2022
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	[[Squat\|Squats]] - They're short, wide and full of beer, <s>but no one believes they exist anymore.</s> now Canon!		[[Squat\|Squats]] - They're short, wide and full of beer, <s>but no one believes they exist anymore.</s> now Canon!

	[[Leagues of Votann]] - Same as above, but also ~~comes with~~ a COG that is tasked with flushing and cleaning your ass afterward.		[[Leagues of Votann]] - Same as above, but is also a specific COG design that is tasked with flushing and cleaning your ass afterward, and also recycles the waste as its fuel.

	[[Malal]] - Trying to destroy all other Chaos toilets but none believes he exists.		[[Malal]] - Trying to destroy all other Chaos toilets but none believes he exists.

1d4chan>Bob90: added the Votann variant. may not be accurate

2022-10-02T16:12:35Z

added the Votann variant. may not be accurate

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:12, 2 October 2022
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	[[Squat\|Squats]] - They're short, wide and full of beer, <s>but no one believes they exist anymore.</s> now Canon!		[[Squat\|Squats]] - They're short, wide and full of beer, <s>but no one believes they exist anymore.</s> now Canon!

			[[Leagues of Votann]] - Same as above, but also comes with a COG that is tasked with flushing and cleaning your ass afterward.

	[[Malal]] - Trying to destroy all other Chaos toilets but none believes he exists.		[[Malal]] - Trying to destroy all other Chaos toilets but none believes he exists.

115.70.44.117: /* Eldar Toiletry */

2022-08-17T16:42:11Z

Eldar Toiletry

2600:1702:560:1300:F532:F4C4:3942:3202: /* Other Assorted Plumbing */

2022-04-19T01:27:19Z

Other Assorted Plumbing

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:27, 19 April 2022
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	[[Image:Squig_drops.jpg\|thumb\|300px\|top left\|Ork bog]]		[[Image:Squig_drops.jpg\|thumb\|300px\|top left\|Ork bog]]

	[[Ork]] - Painted red. Has a mounted Big Shoota and Bigga Choppa in case there's a line and the other Boyz are getting impatient. It only flushes because they truly believe it has a plumbing system. In some cases, however, Orky bogs are actually a sneaky grot trick to loot your arse. Squigs are of course mandatory.		[[Ork]] - Painted red so you shit faster. Has a mounted Big Shoota and Bigga Choppa in case there's a line and the other Boyz are getting impatient. It only flushes because they truly believe it has a plumbing system. In some cases, however, Orky bogs are actually a sneaky grot trick to loot your arse. Squigs are of course mandatory.

	[[Necron]] - Ever wonder what those Monoliths were originally designed for? Effects vary depending on which C'tan:		[[Necron]] - Ever wonder what those Monoliths were originally designed for? Effects vary depending on which C'tan:

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:3C5E:3CFF:BDA:5A4D: /* Eldar Toiletry */

2021-09-11T06:30:23Z

Eldar Toiletry

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:30, 11 September 2021
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	[[Harlequin]] toilets are elegant and covered in smiley faces and checkerboard patterns. They don't flush after use, but seal off and shrink so they can be carried into battle and the contents emptied onto the enemy.		[[Harlequin]] toilets are elegant and covered in smiley faces and checkerboard patterns. They don't flush after use, but seal off and shrink so they can be carried into battle and the contents emptied onto the enemy.

	[[Dark Eldar]] - ...do you really want to stick an exposed part of your body inside something made by the Dark Eldar? (and the overwhelming fanboy response is... YES)		[[Dark Eldar]] - ...do you really want to stick an exposed part of your body inside something made by the Dark Eldar? Or expose a bodily orifice to something made by the Dark Eldar? (and the overwhelming fanboy response is... YES)

	*Kabalite toilets actually seem innocent at first glance (well, apart from the excess spikes) but will often turn out to be booby-trapped and will launch poisoned spikes into the buttocks of whoever tries to use them, preferably a hierarchical superior.		*Kabalite toilets actually seem innocent at first glance (well, apart from the excess spikes) but will often turn out to be booby-trapped and will launch poisoned spikes into the buttocks of whoever tries to use them, preferably a hierarchical superior.

	*~~Whych~~ cults do not need toilets. Once they're finished cutting up their enemies, they dump in the bleeding wounds of whichever ones are still alive.		*Wych cults do not need toilets. Once they're finished cutting up their enemies, they dump in the bleeding wounds of whichever ones are still alive.

	*Scourges just make like the creatures they took their wings from; they do their business on the wing, preferably onto the face of someone who stared at them for too long.		*Scourges just make like the creatures they took their wings from; they do their business on the wing, preferably onto the face of someone who stared at them for too long.
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	*Incubi sects have access to ancient, amazing toilets rumored to date from before the Fall, but only a few have the right to use them. The only way to obtain the right to use them is to kill someone who has it in a duel.		*Incubi sects have access to ancient, amazing toilets rumored to date from before the Fall, but only a few have the right to use them. The only way to obtain the right to use them is to kill someone who has it in a duel.

	*Most of the time, any Dark Eldar or human ~~naive~~ enough to sit on a toilet from a Heamonculus coterie this will get horribly tortured and raped by a grotesque disguised as a toilet. Other times the toilets usually have pins on the seats or acid packs in the flush mechanism. The Haemonculi themselves have much more efficient methods for disposing of their waste such as collecting it in a colostomy bag to coat their poisoned blades with.		*Most of the time, any Dark Eldar or human naïve enough to sit on a toilet from a Heamonculus coterie this will get horribly tortured and raped by a grotesque disguised as a toilet. Other times the toilets usually have barbed pins on the seats or acid packs in the flush mechanism. The Haemonculi themselves have much more efficient methods for disposing of their waste such as collecting it in a colostomy bag to coat their poisoned blades with.

	*In Asdrubael Vect's presence, you are the toilet.		*In Asdrubael Vect's presence, you are the toilet.

1d4chan>VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue: /* Other Toilets of the Imperium */

2021-02-13T05:57:33Z

Other Toilets of the Imperium

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:57, 13 February 2021
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	[[Adeptus Arbites]] - Used for torturing suspects more than actual defecation.		[[Adeptus Arbites]] - Used for torturing suspects more than actual defecation.

	[[Adeptus Custodes]] - Eternally waiting for the [[Emperor]] to get finished using it.		[[Adeptus Custodes]] - Eternally waiting for the [[Emperor]] to get finished using it. Thankfully, custodes biology allows them to eternally recycle their shits, preparing the perfect shit for when the emperor does return and frees up the golden throne.

	[[Sisters of Battle\|Adepta Sororitas]] - (Actually, we don't know. There isn't a "men's" room, so we couldn't see. It probably just sets the waste on fire any way.)		[[Sisters of Battle\|Adepta Sororitas]] - (Actually, we don't know. There isn't a "men's" room, so we couldn't see. It probably just sets the waste on fire any way.)

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:42, 17 August 2022
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	The very existence of [[Eldar]] toilets is debatable, since the book ''Xenology'' suggests that Eldar may, in fact, excrete crystal, which accounts for the copious amount of gemstones on anything the Eldar make.		The very existence of [[Eldar]] toilets is debatable, since the book ''Xenology'' suggests that Eldar may, in fact, excrete crystal, which accounts for the copious amount of gemstones on anything the Eldar make.

			It varies from Craftworld to Craftworld. Among the most prominent examples;

	Eldar toilets, coupled with a diet of cheese and spicy foods, are designed to make shitting as uncomfortable as possible. Rumor has it that Eldrad Ulthran designed the currently used forms. Each Craftworld likes their turds disposed of a little differently.		Eldar toilets, coupled with a diet of cheese and spicy foods, are designed to make shitting as uncomfortable as possible. Rumor has it that Eldrad Ulthran designed the currently used forms. Each Craftworld likes their turds disposed of a little differently.

	[[Ulthwe]] - All toilets teleport their waste through the Webway to preset points in space and time, causing little bits of Eldar shit to land atop your helmet at just the wrong moment. Just as planned.		*[[Ulthwe]] - All toilets teleport their waste through the Webway to preset points in space and time, causing little bits of Eldar shit to land atop your helmet at just the wrong moment. Just as planned.

	[[Saim-Hann]] - Screams around at insane speeds throughout the craftworld, allowing the user to engage in flying joust matches of doom while relieving himself.		*[[Saim-Hann]] - Screams around at insane speeds throughout the craftworld, allowing the user to engage in flying joust matches of doom while relieving himself.

	[[Alaitoc]] - Their toilets are experimental sniper rifles that use Eldar turds for projectiles.		*[[Alaitoc]] - Their toilets are experimental sniper rifles that use Eldar turds for projectiles.

	[[Iyanden]] - Iyanden toilets are wraithbone constructs that extract the souls of Eldar shits and inter them within the toilet itself, creating a gestalt fecal consciousness.		*[[Iyanden]] - Iyanden toilets are wraithbone constructs that extract the souls of Eldar shits and inter them within the toilet itself, creating a gestalt fecal consciousness.

	[[Biel-Tan]] toilets sing hymns of ancient glories and fill the shi with desire to kill all untermensch xenos.		*[[Biel-Tan]] toilets sing hymns of ancient glories and fill the shi with desire to kill all untermensch xenos.

	[[Harlequin]] toilets are elegant and covered in smiley faces and checkerboard patterns. They don't flush after use, but seal off and shrink so they can be carried into battle and the contents emptied onto the enemy.		[[Harlequin]] toilets are elegant and covered in smiley faces and checkerboard patterns. They don't flush after use, but seal off and shrink so they can be carried into battle and the contents emptied onto the enemy.
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	*Most of the time, any Dark Eldar or human naïve enough to sit on a toilet from a Heamonculus coterie this will get horribly tortured and raped by a grotesque disguised as a toilet. Other times the toilets usually have barbed pins on the seats or acid packs in the flush mechanism. The Haemonculi themselves have much more efficient methods for disposing of their waste such as collecting it in a colostomy bag to coat their poisoned blades with.		*Most of the time, any Dark Eldar or human naïve enough to sit on a toilet from a Heamonculus coterie this will get horribly tortured and raped by a grotesque disguised as a toilet. Other times the toilets usually have barbed pins on the seats or acid packs in the flush mechanism. The Haemonculi themselves have much more efficient methods for disposing of their waste such as collecting it in a colostomy bag to coat their poisoned blades with.

	*In Asdrubael Vect~~'s presence~~, ~~you are~~ the toilet.		*For Asdrubael Vect, the toilet is WHOever he says it is.

	===Tau Toiletry===		===Tau Toiletry===