Vikings - Revision history

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2023-06-23T16:05:16Z

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2023-06-19T14:41:54Z

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115.70.44.117: /* Culture */

2023-01-14T06:21:58Z

Culture

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:21, 14 January 2023
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	This is of course a massive oversimplification of Norse afterlife beliefs. The Norse peoples did have these four primary after life destinations, with the Folkvangr also taking heroes and people who lived valiantly that didn't die in battle... because Freyja's not about to miss out on some ass kickers or talented folks just because they died in bed. That said, her hall, Sessrúmnir, is battle dead only, just like Valhalla, so if you want the premium seats, die in battle. Hel on the other hand could not suck. If Hel herself found you "interesting", and you're not on the eternal punishment list, you could find yourself invited into her hall to keep the goddess of the dead company till Ragnarok. Could be worse all things considered. Then there was a variety of local afterlives. Think sacred mountains and the like. This subject goes as deep as you want it to in the end. The works of Dr. Jackson Crawford are a great place to start if you'd like to know more. He even has a youtube channel... and has written out the entire Hávamál, aka Odin's Guide On How to be a True Norse Chad, in cowboy English.		This is of course a massive oversimplification of Norse afterlife beliefs. The Norse peoples did have these four primary after life destinations, with the Folkvangr also taking heroes and people who lived valiantly that didn't die in battle... because Freyja's not about to miss out on some ass kickers or talented folks just because they died in bed. That said, her hall, Sessrúmnir, is battle dead only, just like Valhalla, so if you want the premium seats, die in battle. Hel on the other hand could not suck. If Hel herself found you "interesting", and you're not on the eternal punishment list, you could find yourself invited into her hall to keep the goddess of the dead company till Ragnarok. Could be worse all things considered. Then there was a variety of local afterlives. Think sacred mountains and the like. This subject goes as deep as you want it to in the end. The works of Dr. Jackson Crawford are a great place to start if you'd like to know more. He even has a youtube channel... and has written out the entire Hávamál, aka Odin's Guide On How to be a True Norse Chad, in cowboy English.

	~~Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice,~~ [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of ~~the~~ society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon~~, was given such sacrifices~~). ~~Plus~~ standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they ~~were vulnerable~~].		Yet [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength, dominance and fighting were valued parts of Norse/Viking society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor was given such sacrifices, and he's considered one of the more bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon). And, of course, standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they couldn't fight back].

	They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard, over other internecine imperial subjects (no doubt due to the Norse emphasis on sworn oaths to leaders holding weight and the hefty perk called polutasvarf that permitted them to legally loot the treasury whenever the emperor dies of natural causes).		They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard, over other internecine imperial subjects (no doubt due to the Norse emphasis on sworn oaths to leaders holding weight and the hefty perk called polutasvarf that permitted them to legally loot the treasury whenever the emperor dies of natural causes).

68.206.151.29: /* Culture */

2022-10-17T01:53:24Z

Culture

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:53, 17 October 2022
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	==Culture==		==Culture==
	Vikings believed that when they died in battle (preferably in a totally fuck-awesome way) they would go to a place called Valhalla to become one of the Einherjar (Chosen Slain) or to Fólkvangr (the realm controlled by Freyja, the Nordic goddess of love, prosperity, spring and being foxy as hell; also a death goddess and war goddess, which is why she gets half the chosen warriors in the first place), where they would chug booze, [[List of /tg/ Cuisine\|eat all the meat and cheese they wanted]], and (if that actually managed to get dull) participate in massive murderfests only to be fully healed the next day and ready to do it all over again. On the other hand, if they died in bed or in a totally lame way (such as AIDs or cancer or... actually anywhere but battle is lame) they would instead go to a totally boring place called Hel where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! '''EVER!''' (As you might imagine, this became problematic for many of their folk heroes who were just that fucking hard to kill). And if ''that'' weren't bad enough, people who committed what the vikings saw as the unforgivable sins, like oathbreaking, went to a prison overseen by the goddess of the dead. The ceiling is made from the bones of serpents, which drip burning venom, the halls are waist-deep in cold, slimy blood, and there is nothing to drink but goats piss and nothing to eat but rotten food (basically a Minnesota Vikings game, but one that never ends and the weather's always bad). The exception is if you died while giving birth, then you got go to Valhalla; the vikings were surprisingly fair for their day in their attitudes towards the sexes.		Vikings believed that when they died in battle (preferably in a totally fuck-awesome way) they would go to a place called Valhalla to become one of the Einherjar (Chosen Slain) or to Fólkvangr (the realm controlled by Freyja, the Nordic goddess of love, prosperity, spring and being foxy as hell; also a death goddess and war goddess, which is why she gets half the chosen warriors in the first place), where they would chug booze, [[List of /tg/ Cuisine\|eat all the meat and cheese they wanted]], and (if that actually managed to get dull) participate in massive murderfests only to be fully healed the next day and ready to do it all over again. On the other hand, if they died in bed or in a totally lame way (such as AIDs or cancer or... actually anywhere but battle is lame) they would instead go to a totally boring place called Hel where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! '''EVER!''' (As you might imagine, this became problematic for many of their folk heroes who were just that fucking hard to kill). And if ''that'' weren't bad enough, people who committed what the vikings saw as the unforgivable sins, like oathbreaking, went to a prison overseen by the goddess of the dead (Who is also named Hel). The ceiling is made from the bones of serpents, which drip burning venom, the halls are waist-deep in cold, slimy blood, and there is nothing to drink but goats piss and nothing to eat but rotten food (basically a Minnesota Vikings game, but one that never ends and the weather's always bad). The exception is if you died while giving birth, then you got go to Valhalla; the vikings were surprisingly fair for their day in their attitudes towards the sexes.

	That said, there was the ''third'' way to die. Dying at sea was totally cool for the Vikings, for while the Battle-junkies went to Valhalla and Freya, and the lame ones went to Hel, the Sea-Bears went to the Halls of Aegir, god of the sea, where they got their own Watery Valhalla.		That said, there was the ''third'' way to die. Dying at sea was totally cool for the Vikings, for while the Battle-junkies went to Valhalla and Freya, and the lame ones went to Hel, the Sea-Bears went to the Halls of Aegir, god of the sea, where they got their own Watery Valhalla.

			This is of course a massive oversimplification of Norse afterlife beliefs. The Norse peoples did have these four primary after life destinations, with the Folkvangr also taking heroes and people who lived valiantly that didn't die in battle... because Freyja's not about to miss out on some ass kickers or talented folks just because they died in bed. That said, her hall, Sessrúmnir, is battle dead only, just like Valhalla, so if you want the premium seats, die in battle. Hel on the other hand could not suck. If Hel herself found you "interesting", and you're not on the eternal punishment list, you could find yourself invited into her hall to keep the goddess of the dead company till Ragnarok. Could be worse all things considered. Then there was a variety of local afterlives. Think sacred mountains and the like. This subject goes as deep as you want it to in the end. The works of Dr. Jackson Crawford are a great place to start if you'd like to know more. He even has a youtube channel... and has written out the entire Hávamál, aka Odin's Guide On How to be a True Norse Chad, in cowboy English.

	Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].		Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].

71.205.180.193: /* Culture */

2022-01-08T20:43:24Z

Culture

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:43, 8 January 2022
Line 15:		Line 15:
	Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].		Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].

	They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard, over other internecine imperial subjects (no doubt due to the Norse emphasis on sworn oaths to leaders holding weight and the hefty perk ~~of being~~ permitted to legally loot the treasury whenever the emperor dies).		They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard, over other internecine imperial subjects (no doubt due to the Norse emphasis on sworn oaths to leaders holding weight and the hefty perk called polutasvarf that permitted them to legally loot the treasury whenever the emperor dies of natural causes).

	=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology\|Norse Mythology]] ===		=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology\|Norse Mythology]] ===

71.205.180.193: /* Culture */

2022-01-07T07:38:56Z

Culture

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:38, 7 January 2022
Line 15:		Line 15:
	Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].		Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].

	They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard, over other internecine imperial subjects (no doubt due to the Norse emphasis on sworn oaths to leaders holding weight and the perk of being permitted to legally loot the treasury whenever the emperor dies).		They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard, over other internecine imperial subjects (no doubt due to the Norse emphasis on sworn oaths to leaders holding weight and the hefty perk of being permitted to legally loot the treasury whenever the emperor dies).

	=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology\|Norse Mythology]] ===		=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology\|Norse Mythology]] ===

71.205.180.193: /* Culture */

2022-01-07T07:38:38Z

Culture

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:38, 7 January 2022
Line 15:		Line 15:
	Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].		Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].

	They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard.		They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard, over other internecine imperial subjects (no doubt due to the Norse emphasis on sworn oaths to leaders holding weight and the perk of being permitted to legally loot the treasury whenever the emperor dies).

	=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology\|Norse Mythology]] ===		=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology\|Norse Mythology]] ===

71.205.180.193: /* Culture */

2022-01-05T23:14:36Z

Culture

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:14, 5 January 2022
Line 15:		Line 15:
	Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].		Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. In short, showing one's strength and fighting were valued parts of the society and their beliefs included animal and human sacrifices to the gods (even Thor, considered a bro-tier member of the Norse pantheon, was given such sacrifices). Plus standard procedure during raids was to enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies\|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves, sometimes choosing their targets ''because'' they were vulnerable].

	They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard.		They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. They basically started to notice that rather than just raiding territory constantly and leaving the countryside as a depopulated wasteland, it'd be more profitable in the long run to just take it and manage all the resource production in it. The fact that serfs are tied to the land made it simpler to just conquer a territory for goods and labor instead of raiding for it. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard.

	=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology\|Norse Mythology]] ===		=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology\|Norse Mythology]] ===

51.37.63.218 at 15:55, 9 December 2021

2021-12-09T15:55:36Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:55, 9 December 2021
Line 1:		Line 1:
	{{Topquote\|It was not as if we'd stayed home and wasted our lives drinking wine with pretty girls.\|A recurring motif in the Lay of Kraka}}		{{Topquote\|It was not as if we'd stayed home and wasted our lives drinking wine with pretty girls.\|A recurring motif in the Lay of Kraka}}
	[[Image:VikingShip.jpg\|500px\|thumb\|right\|A Viking Longship, A thirty meter long can o' [[rape]] (literally) back in the day.]]		[[Image:VikingShip.jpg\|500px\|thumb\|right\|A Viking Longship, A thirty meter long can o' [[rape]] (literally) back in the day.]]
	'''Vikings''' were Scandinavian people from the 8th to 11th century, a period in which societies based in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, making use of their long-ships set forth to trade and colonize areas including Northern France, ~~the British Isles~~, Russia, Iceland, Greenland and even reached North America (though the settlements they set up there did not last). They also made a habit of bathing and washing their hands frequently, which at the time was unheard of among the peoples of Europe. Probably because they had to have about two dozen dudes on a small boat for a long time, so you would regularly bathe if you didn't want to be [[That Guy]]. They only stopped when France, of all countries, rolled a nat 20 on Diplomacy by offering Normandy (deriving its name from the French word for Vikings, meaning Northmen), the northern part of France to duke Rollo. One of his descendents by the name of William (the Conqueror) ended up with a claim to the throne of a place populated with Anglo-Saxons named Anglo-land (later known as England), and ultimately became its king. So in other words, in an attempt to stop Viking raids, France ended up creating what became their arch-enemy for 800 years, making it one of the biggest cases of [[not as planned]] in history.		'''Vikings''' were Scandinavian people from the 8th to 11th century, a period in which societies based in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, making use of their long-ships set forth to trade and colonize areas including Northern France, Ireland, Britain, Russia, Iceland, Greenland and even reached North America (though the settlements they set up there did not last). They also made a habit of bathing and washing their hands frequently, which at the time was unheard of among the peoples of Europe. Probably because they had to have about two dozen dudes on a small boat for a long time, so you would regularly bathe if you didn't want to be [[That Guy]]. They only stopped when France, of all countries, rolled a nat 20 on Diplomacy by offering Normandy (deriving its name from the French word for Vikings, meaning Northmen), the northern part of France to duke Rollo. One of his descendents by the name of William (the Conqueror) ended up with a claim to the throne of a place populated with Anglo-Saxons named Anglo-land (later known as England), and ultimately became its king. So in other words, in an attempt to stop Viking raids, France ended up creating what became their arch-enemy for 800 years, making it one of the biggest cases of [[not as planned]] in history.

	[[file:Movie_game_viking_vs_historical_viking.png\|400px\|thumb\|right\|Only equalled by the [[Ninja]] in this regard]]		[[file:Movie_game_viking_vs_historical_viking.png\|400px\|thumb\|right\|Only equalled by the [[Ninja]] in this regard]]

192.0.171.50: /* Viking Berserkers */

2021-11-14T01:14:32Z

Viking Berserkers

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:14, 14 November 2021
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	{{topquote\|-And as the foemen's ships drew near,<br>The dreadful din you well might hear<br>Savage berserks roaring mad,<br>And champions fierce in wolf-skins clad,<br>Howling like wolves; and clanking jar.\|Harald Fairhair Saga ch 19.}}		{{topquote\|-And as the foemen's ships drew near,<br>The dreadful din you well might hear<br>Savage berserks roaring mad,<br>And champions fierce in wolf-skins clad,<br>Howling like wolves; and clanking jar.\|Harald Fairhair Saga ch 19.}}
	~~Mushroom~~ brew painkiller ~~that allow~~ to fight despite heavy or even fatal wounds ~~likewise weren't their exclusive, although proper brew (that wouldn't ruin your liver, therefore sentencing you to a lame death~~ in ~~your bed~~ if ~~you survive the battle)~~ was ~~quite expensive~~, ~~and berserkers, as pretty much second-in-command~~ of ~~jarls were among those wealthy enough~~ to ~~afford it~~.
			...so yeah as can be gleamed from this own article, knowing what's true from the many-myths on the berserkers has been difficult for historians and a true concensus on them hasn't occurred yet, especially since the practice seems to have believed in by contemporary Norsemen themselves with the Norwegian "Gray Goose Laws" outlawing berserkers while of course medieval law and culture in Norway still used champions themselves to settle disputes like the rest of medieval Europe (and so the prosaic explanation of berserkers simply being the Norse synonym for champions meaning none of the crazy tales associated with them have a single grain of truth to them doesn't completely fit).

			It's been said their prowess was explained by taking a mushroom brew painkiller allowing them to fight despite heavy or even fatal wounds though this has never been confirmed or replicated in anyway so if this theory was at all true, the proof of it seems to have been quite lost.

	==D&D==		==D&D==