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| {{Promotions}}
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| Despite being a semi-perverse ERPG d20 sourcebook that should never be played by anyone, it is pretty funny.
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| == New Spells ==
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| '''Baykdoyre’s Ultimate Lubrication''' - Makes ogre/halfling crossbreeding a reality.
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| '''Alter Breasts''' - Anything from A to double D, on any gender.
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| '''Change Orientation''' - A spell feared by macho barbarians and fighters alike.
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| '''Clothes to chocolate, cream, or oil''' - For some reason the Farmers' Union hates people using this spell.
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| '''Dirk's Impressive Tool''' - Illusion that makes his secondary weapon seem "enormous" and "beautiful". Can encourage people to tell their friends about it. Requires a sausage for use.
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| '''Hypnotic Rump''' - "Renders the caster's buttocks fascinating beyond belief".
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| '''Locate Clitoris''' - Nothing funny, potentinally useful.
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| '''Morning Wood''' - Save it for when it comes in handy, or maybe just for when it comes in hand.
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| '''Onestrum’s Personal Fluidic Enhancer''' - "Spooge production that would make a titan proud".
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| '''Night Visitor''' - Target gets a visit in the night. They won't get any benefits from sleeping. Requires a feather and a piece of cheese, for some reason.
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| '''Prismatic Chastity Belt''' - Any would-be assailant of the nether planes suffers fire, acid, lightning, poison damage, is turned to stone and teleported to another plane.
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| '''Protection from Mingers''' - Makes it impossible for ugly people to come near you.
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| '''Ray of Nipple Hardening'''- Gee, I wonder what this does?
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| '''Vinegar Stokes''' - Gives the target the sensation of being stuck edging right before orgasm, they can defend but not move or cast spells. A good way to escape.
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| '''Summon Sex Partner''' - Force the summoned creature to service you. There's a warning about meeting said creature outside of the spell. Given that it's practically [[FATAL|a rape spell]], it should be obvious as to why this is.
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| '''Power Word: Orgasm''' - No save. Stuns the creature somewhere between 1d6 to 3d6 depending on Constitution. A good, non-lethal (if a bit messy) way to escape from battle.
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| == Modified Skills ==
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| '''Alchemy''': Orcish fly, Lubricant jelly, delouser and hot flush.
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| '''Concentration''': Added rules for casting spells while doing it, and holding off orgasm via Concentration. Fighting naked Amazons is now the bane of wizard concentration checks.
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| '''Perform''': Can give bonuses to oral and pole dancing.
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| == New Prestige Classes ==
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| '''Agony Mage''': A mage that is good at guessing what you like, and has the power to give it to you. They also have a funny feat called "blameless". This makes the guards search for other suspects even if you are caught performing the crime.
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| '''Mystic Pimp''': A summoner of adult-rated partners. Street wise has a feat that tells him your orientation and fetishes and can gain permanent summons.
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| '''Seducer''': A person that can seduce anyone that is physically capable or not dead. Even a [[Tarrasque]].
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| '''Peeping Scryer''': He peeps. That's it. He also has a feat called "Never forget an Arse" that lets him identify his peeping victims. Requires level 21st whorcery.
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| == New Items ==
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| '''Pop-up Pork-Sword''': A club with a catch on the handle. Hitting it makes a 12-inch section spring out that wobbles back and forth. Acts as a +1 weapon but anything that is touched by the sword is affected by Power Word: Orgasm.
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| '''Cock Rings''': Includes Rings of Quantity, Girth, and Penetration. Not intended for digital use.
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| '''Bag of Fondling''': Put something inside the bag and the bag will massage it.
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| '''Carved Monkey of Spanking''': A statue that comes to life. Spanking it renders the user immune to sex effects for 24 hours.
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| '''Magic Chastity Belt''': A variety of shapes and sizes, from basic arcane locks to casting Burning Hands and summoning a guardian.
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| '''Dan's Instant Whorehouse''': A small cube that becomes a 40ft square, 10-foot high wooden whorehouse with an ogre bouncer and 2-8 hosts/hostesses of the owner's preference. It's described that people are damaged if caught in the expanding house, adding to its practical uses.
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| '''Jockstrap of Impressive Lunchbox''': A jockstrap that probes the mind of nearby females, forming the size that is most appealing to them. Remove when in proximity to pixies and other small creatures.
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| '''Sexy Sheets''': The users appear sexier. They are also self-cleaning.
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| == New creatures ==
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| '''Colossal Gay Al''': A giant allosaur, brightly colored, has a good singing voice and drinks enormous cocktails. Is also an obvious South Park reference.
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| '''Creamy Ooze''': An ooze made out of exactly what you'd imagine.
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| '''One-Eyed Trouser Snake''': To quote the book: "Many people strive to collect the largest and most magnificent trouser snake they can."
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| '''Siren Flower''': Lures you in by looking like a naked woman, then shoves a seedpod up your ass.
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| [[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category:Game Books]]
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