Guardsmans Soliloquy

The following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

“Authorisation code Epsilon Beta”

A dim blue light slowly projects out of a slim visual port, barely illuminating the tiny room inhabited by the hunched figure in front of it.

“Begin recording”

The figure speaks again, its voice heavy and sullen, the light highlighting a gaunt face and hollow eyes. It sits on a tough plasteel crate filled with medicines and bandages. To its front and side the small storage room is stacked high with similar crates loaded with identical loads. Each stamped with a serial number and the rough mark of the Administorum as their grey colour blends into the Spartan walls.

The awakening servo skull slowly rises from its stagnant position and focuses on the figure, its ghastly visage hanging limply a small distance from its face.

“my name is Guardsman Lee Fisher, of the 471st Ferhallow Foot Infantry, and today is the day that I die”

The figure looks down briefly, its hands clasped together in a nervous movement and its lips purse as if processing what it had just said.

“the officers have told us that we will be dropping out of warp within the hour and shortly afterwards we will be ordered into the landing craft and begin our descent to the surface…”

“…and then we die”

It looks back towards the hovering skull for a moment, its eyes staring at it as if searching for any sort of humanity left behind from its previous owner. Either that or it was processing the reflection of the skull of its own.

“I wanted to record this so that after I die there may be something of me left. I have no hope of this ever reaching my parents; news is the Tyranids have already reached Ferhallow, maybe it’s already fallen. And what happens here will have little effect on that, just another footnote in the history of man or another number in the militarums scrolls. When I die my weapon, armour, organs, eyes, even bones;”

It gestured towards the hovering skull as if including it in some form of one sided conversation.

“Should they be suitable will be repurposed for other uses. My squad mates will die, should anyone I know in this company survive they will be moved into a new unit or flooded with new recruits to the point where the rest of us will just be a forlorn memory, a grim reminder of the reality”

“Somehow I pity any who survive more then I pity myself. Master Sergeant Richardson has been through three different units. He hasn’t even bothered to learn or names, let alone our faces. I remember one day James asking him about it to which he responded ‘aint no point y’all all be dead a few minutes after we touch down’”

The figure smiles for a second before looking down again.

“I…I don’t really know how I feel about it all, the books said to think of home but home seems like a far off place right now. And all I can think of is how little I did. I remember a girl I used to be sweet on, she had these beautiful blonde braids and would smuggle apples from the orchards for us to share.”

Again the figure smiles, its eyes even lighting for the brief moment before the darkness of its surroundings swallowed them again.

“I wonder if any of them even remember me. Part of me hopes they don’t, that I can die with no loose ends. Most of my squad has come to accept this aswell, Gerard and Veroniq went to make peace at the emperor’s chapel, hoping to be by his side after we die. Hara, James, and Will went out to try and ‘score some booze or score some girls while we still can’”

The figure lets out a slight chuckle at this, leaning back and rolling its eyes as it makes its voice rougher in an imitation of another. It lets out a brief sigh and swallows before moving forward again, its mouth suddenly dry and its brow furrowed.

“Lisa not so much. When I left the dorm she was still there. She was the reason I came here, we spent the past half hour conducting maintenance rituals on our Lasguns with Corporal Tekena and she was just talking about strategy and tactics for when we engaged and what we would do in the downtime, whether we would be ordered into a counterattack or just man the defences. The nerves in her voice were terrifying because she…”

It reaches forward with one hand gesturing toward the inanimate skull, its voice rising in both volume and pitch,

“She hadn’t realised, or she just hadn’t accepted, that we were already dead. The corporal just sat there and either didn’t listen or chose not to respond. Lisa asked me whether I was going to take my fire lighters with me for the night time and I just…”

The figures face shifted into a conflicted mess, the corners of its mouth turning upwards as if to smile but its eyes were wide and its brow low in what could only be described as a great distress.

“I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I reached into my duffel and handed her my steels and told her ‘I’ll probably drop them if I do, you should take them’. She tried to tell me that she shouldn’t and that they were mine but I just told her that she could always give them back after we land, I said this knowing full well she couldn’t just feeding her sparkle of denial because I couldn’t bear to have her die twice in one day.”

Relaxing itself and sitting back down the figures voice began to return to its earlier lower tone.

“I left just after that. I went to record this just so that there’s something left of us. Hopefully she dies quick, and I hope she doesn’t see it coming. Who knows, maybe the Lord Emperor will shine his holy light down and protect us and we’ll all live to see home again. “

It pauses looking down for a second.

“Maybe in some children’s story”

A claxon begins sounding in the corridor outside the room, muffled slightly by the bulkheads but still audible. Footsteps can be heard running past as the figure briefly looks toward the door before back toward the skull.

“It’s time. This is Guardsmen Lee Fisher signing off. End recording.”

The skulls light dimmed as it lowered itself onto the crate below before completely shutting itself down when it landed. The figure paused for a moment staring at its still form before slowly rising to its feet and stepping toward the door.

As it opened, the yellow light of the corridor spilled in and the figure took one last look back into the cramped room before stepping out and closing the door behind it. The light faded from the room, and the small servo skull remaining still upon its perch in silence once again.