Cubes

They come.

"OH GOD MY HEAD IS FULL OF CUBES"

-Dante's Divine Comedy: Inferno, Stanza 20, line 4 (the small print)

Terror of the Third Dimension

Cubes are rectangular geometric shapes that exist in the second dimension as a square but can increase in potency by shifting into the third, creating a new axis. The great cube council see the universe we inhabit as unsatisfactory according to their cubic needs and have begun implementing their own designs into our daily life. Let it be stated that cubes absolutely detest circles and spheres and see cones as merely day-walking circles.

Their first attempt to create cube-shaped planetoids and suns have been foiled on multiple occasions, due to the interference of the forces of entropy, whose ideals of perfection roll around in circles and turn into balls, much to the chagrin of the great cube lords. To this day, the cube has only managed to impregnate our imaginations with their instructions for perfection as well as certain crystallizations of certain minerals. One such example is Pyrite, otherwise known as "fool's gold". The forces of spheres and the disenfranchised conic alliance have turned the cubic crystals irregular and sometimes multiple-edged, turning the glory of the cube into a mockery of itself.

Though this has been unconfirmed, rumors and esoteric theories suggest that there are geometrical shapes of even greater order of power and magnitude than the mighty Cubes, though any attempts to investigate further have been met with failure and madness, though through repeated and excruciating experiments there have been glimpsed two things of these higher spaces, a symbol and a word: ⬡ Tesseract

The neckbeards show great affection towards cubes due to their predictability and regularity, and have implemented their glory into their tabletop games as creatures, such as the gelatinous cube. The affection is not mutual as neckbeards present the shape of the cube's primary adversary, the sphere.

Gallery

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  These f***ing things have a MOVIE too!!?!?
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  Little Known Fact: Your D6's are cubes too.
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  Cubes have already invaded /v/...
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  ...and /sci/. This thing is an extradimensional cube, too! It could probably dislodge Immovable Rods!
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  Monoliths are almost cubes, and not quite as deadly.
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  They are legion.

See Also

• Adventure Time
• Metal Boxes
• Sphere of Annihilation
• Timecube RPG
• Timecube Chess
• Minecraft, the game of cubes