Comedy Marines: Difference between revisions
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Raven Guards aren't scared of the dark. | Raven Guards aren't scared of the dark. | ||
>Amusing indeed | >Amusing indeed | ||
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>Let me regail you my Brother, of the time a heretic, a xenos, and a Guardsman, righteous lover of our glorious Emperor, went down a slide. | |||
'''Please do, Brother Graius!''' | |||
>The first to attempt was the heretic, and upon sliding down he yelled 'HERESYYYYYYY', and upon reaching the bottom, he fell into a puddle of THE BLOOD OF HIS PEERS, WITH WHOM HE SOON JOINED. | |||
>The second to traverse down the- are you alright Brother? Do you require a minute? | |||
'''Kmmf- I sh-shall regain my composure -hrnk - in but a moment Brother Graius, please -kknk- continue your tale.''' | |||
>Very well. So then the Xenos filth then takes to the slide, and upon the downward slope, he yells 'ALIIIEEENNNN', and upon reaching the bottom- check thyself Brother- upon reaching it, he lands in a puddle of FILTH, FOR THAT IS ALL XENOS ARE AND HE IS PURGED IN FLAME ACCORDINGLY | |||
>The third- | |||
'''NO BROTHER, CEASE! SUCH MERRIMENT MY FUSED RIBS CANNOT CONTAIN!!''' | |||
>But continue I shall, Brother! For the third to go down the slide- | |||
'''NO, I CANNOT LISTEN!! I FUEL SLAANESH WITH EVERY WORD YOU SPEAK!!''' | |||
>-the THIRD is the Guardsman, and upon going down, he yells 'I WISH I WERE A SPACE MARIIIIINNNEEEE' | |||
'''NO! NO! HE COULD NOT!!''' | |||
>He could and did, Brother!! And upon- snrk- u-upon reaching the bottom, he- knnk- YOU ARE MAKING ME PREMATURELY LOSE COMPOSURE, BROTHER ANTEUS! | |||
'''I CANNOT HELP IT BROTHER, THE LEVITY HAS STRIKEN ME WITH THE FORCE OF A BATTLE BARGE''' | |||
>BL-HAHA-AST YOU! So- so...h-he lands, and he lands- | |||
'''OH SPIRITUAL LIEGE, SAVE ME!!''' | |||
>In a puddle...OF NOTHING, FOR HE CAN NEVER BE A GLORIOUS ANGEL OF DEATH LIKE WE!! | |||
'''EXTERMINATUS!! EXTERMINATUS ON MY LOCATION, BEFORE I TEAR OPEN A WARP RIFT THROUGH MIRTH ALONE!!''' | |||
Revision as of 23:03, 28 February 2012
 This page is needs images. Help plz. |
| Comedy Marines | ||
|---|---|---|
| Founding | Unkown | |
| Successors of | Unkown | |
| Successor Chapters | None | |
| Chapter Master | Unkown | |
| Primarch | Unkown | |
| Homeworld | [Unkown]] | |
| Strength | 1000 Marines | |
| Specialty | Jokes | |
| Allegiance | Imperium | |
| Colours | Several | |
New Space Marine Chapter that fights with amusing comments etc.
Jokes
Brother
Brother
Would you like to hear the one redeeming trait of traitors and deamons and how they relate to the children's toy known as the slinkie?
Indeed I would brother
They are both fun to watch as you push them down a steep flight of stairs
Truer words were never spoken
"I say, brother. Would you like to hear a joke?" >"Certainly." "The Inquisition." >"MY SIDES!"
Brother, did you hear the one about the Techmarine who discovered how to hack the Vox operated Howler grenades belonging to a Lady Inquisitor? >No, Brother, I did not. Well, neither did she!
Chaplain >Brother I have a confession to make relating to my misconduct >Then speak it so that it may be heard and corrected It was I who covertly tripped over one of the Terminator squad this morning for the base amusement as they resemble a tortoise trying to reattain an upright stance >Half an hour in the pain glove. Thank you for your leniency >I will also be joining you as I laughed thunderously at the Terminators expense
Brother >Brother How many Guardsmen does it take to paint a Leman Russ? >My knowledge is insufficient in this area Brother, please enlighten me. Depends how hard you throw them Brother >GUFFAW
Brother Marcus >Yes Brother? How many Imperial Guard troopers does it take to change a light bulb? >I do not know, brother. Please enlighten me Just one. Basic training. Reloading a lass-gun. >GUFFAW
Brother >Apothecary Regarding our most recent mission to stamp out subversive cults pledged to the Unholy Powers I believe I have made an Important observation that could aid us in identifying them >I am intrigued. Please share this observation that I may identify the servants of the Dark Gods with greater efficiency I believe I have learned the favored hymn of the Slaaneshii cultists >What is its designation? O Come, all ye Faithful >Observation noted
Chaplain >Brother I have a question regarding the Adepta Sororitas and the limits to which we may engage with them on a social level >You may ask your questions To what is the allowed limit we may pursue a personal relationship with an individual member of their order before it becomes unseemly >You may kiss a Sororitas once, you may even kiss her twice. But you must never get into the habit Understood.
Brother, I have a question for you >You may ask your question What is the difference between a Fallen Ecclesiarch and a Land Raider? >Many. To which difference are you referring? We currently so not have a buried Land Raider under our maintenance hall >Both amusing and true, brother
Brother, how many Raven Guards does it take to change a light bulb?
>I do not know, brother
Raven Guards aren't scared of the dark.
>Amusing indeed
>Let me regail you my Brother, of the time a heretic, a xenos, and a Guardsman, righteous lover of our glorious Emperor, went down a slide.
Please do, Brother Graius!
>The first to attempt was the heretic, and upon sliding down he yelled 'HERESYYYYYYY', and upon reaching the bottom, he fell into a puddle of THE BLOOD OF HIS PEERS, WITH WHOM HE SOON JOINED.
>The second to traverse down the- are you alright Brother? Do you require a minute?
Kmmf- I sh-shall regain my composure -hrnk - in but a moment Brother Graius, please -kknk- continue your tale.
>Very well. So then the Xenos filth then takes to the slide, and upon the downward slope, he yells 'ALIIIEEENNNN', and upon reaching the bottom- check thyself Brother- upon reaching it, he lands in a puddle of FILTH, FOR THAT IS ALL XENOS ARE AND HE IS PURGED IN FLAME ACCORDINGLY
>The third-
NO BROTHER, CEASE! SUCH MERRIMENT MY FUSED RIBS CANNOT CONTAIN!!
>But continue I shall, Brother! For the third to go down the slide-
NO, I CANNOT LISTEN!! I FUEL SLAANESH WITH EVERY WORD YOU SPEAK!!
>-the THIRD is the Guardsman, and upon going down, he yells 'I WISH I WERE A SPACE MARIIIIINNNEEEE'
NO! NO! HE COULD NOT!!
>He could and did, Brother!! And upon- snrk- u-upon reaching the bottom, he- knnk- YOU ARE MAKING ME PREMATURELY LOSE COMPOSURE, BROTHER ANTEUS!
I CANNOT HELP IT BROTHER, THE LEVITY HAS STRIKEN ME WITH THE FORCE OF A BATTLE BARGE
>BL-HAHA-AST YOU! So- so...h-he lands, and he lands-
OH SPIRITUAL LIEGE, SAVE ME!!
>In a puddle...OF NOTHING, FOR HE CAN NEVER BE A GLORIOUS ANGEL OF DEATH LIKE WE!!
EXTERMINATUS!! EXTERMINATUS ON MY LOCATION, BEFORE I TEAR OPEN A WARP RIFT THROUGH MIRTH ALONE!!