Great Crusade: Difference between revisions

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'''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY.  Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).
{{awesome}}
{{Topquote|I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.|Winston Churchill}}
{{Topquote|The day of small nations has long passed away. The day of Empires has come.|Joseph Chamberlain}}


They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.
{{Topquote| To ravage, to slaughter, to usurp under false titles, they call empire; and where they make a desert, they call it peace.|Tacitus}}
[[File:Eye_of_Terra.jpg|thumb|right|500px|You really [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|can't get any better than this.]] Too bad [[Erebus|one guy]] had to ''fuck it all up''.]]
The '''Great Crusade''' was an important event in the history of [[Warhammer 40,000]], seeing the formation of the [[Imperium of Man]] and reunification of humanity, and is basically the best time to be alive - If you are a loyal subject of the Emperor, that is. If not, you are endangered by just being in this galaxy, and try as hard as you can to stay out of the Imperium's reach until they are done with their megalomanic crusade.


== CHANNELS ==
==The Emperor Emerges==
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.
For much of the 20,000's, [[Terra]] and the other human colonies were driven by war after the rebellion of the [[Iron Men]], an era later known as the [[Age of Strife]]. The techno-barbarians (UNTZ! UNTZ!) ruled little fiefdoms on once-proud [[Earth|Terra]], and all seemed lost.


== EVENTS ==
Then, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]] appeared in M28, and started conquering Terra, piece by piece. His army consisted of the predecessors of [[Space Marines]], the [[Thunder Warriors]], using [[Power Armour|powered armor]] that wasn't even void-sealed, of course they still had massive [[pauldrons]] and were in fact preposterously OP even relative to Marines millenia later, but unsustainable collectively and genetically unstable individually.  
The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't!  They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.


In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.
This was approximately the time that he decided that religion was bad for humanity and violently implemented the [[Imperial Truth]], the conclusion of which can be seen in the story [[The Last Church]].


== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES ==  
==The Next Step==
Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.
Of course, Terra wasn't enough for the Emperor; he wanted to rule over all of [[Humanity]]. He had already arranged for the [[Void Dragon]] to be sealed on Mars so that, by this time in history, he would have the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] to build awesome weapons for his armies, and now he needed some armies to wield those weapons. And to lead those armies, he needed generals, so he started the [[Primarch]] Project in M29, creating twenty super-human warriors, his sons, and his generals. The [[Chaos Gods|Gods]] of [[Chaos]] perceived this project to be a threat to them, so they scattered the Primarchs throughout the galaxy, bringing them to experiences which would eventually turn many of them against their father. Still, the Emperor had enough data to create his [[Space Marine]] Legions based on their DNA, what would later be called the [[First Founding]] (and was at the time known as the Only Founding). He sent the Legions out to find their Primarchs, and to re-unite the human colonies as they went.


* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
==The Age of the Imperium==
* GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
Over the course of the next two hundred years or so, the Space Marine Legions found their Primarchs, and the [[Imperium of Man]] grew, world by world, until it spanned almost the whole galaxy. Many [[Xenos]] were exterminated along the way, as well as non-Imperial human civilizations like the [[Interex]] as the Emperor believed them to be a threat to his dominance. Between this directive and the influence of his [[Slaanesh|Slaaneshi]] daemon blade, [[Fulgrim]] wiped out many [[Eldar]] worlds, which resulted in mutual animosity between the Imperium and the Eldar for millennia to come. Of course, considering the Eldar had been frequently raiding human worlds throughout the Age of Strife, tough shit.  It was generally considered [[Kharn|a pretty fun move on Fulgrim's part]].  To be fair, though, nearly all the xenos killed had descended upon human worlds during the Age of Strife and turned them into "Nightmare Worlds".  As you might imagine, the crusading Imperium was [[RAGE|not amused.]]  In fact, most worlds added to the Imperium were of this sort, which went a long way to entrenching humanity's hatred of all things alien.  Even the Jovian(for reference, Jupiter) colonies in the Sol system were pretty much horror-infested hellholes ruled over by incalculably cruel alien overlords.  While Eldrad tried to contact the Emperor to warn him that he should be more concerned with stopping Chaos than with expanding the Imperium, the Emperor refused to listen to him.  Both because Eldrad ordered his forces to attack Fulgrim upon realizing the Primarch was corrupted without realizing that A) Fulgrim was not yet corrupted by the sword and could still be saved and B) attacking a Primarch is unbelievably stupid if you want to live.  It didn't hurt that the Emperor's creation of the Imperium was performed in a way crafted by Him to specifically act as an anti-Chaos civilization by virtue of being not only massive but also [[Malal|atheist.]] Shame he didn't realize faith hurt Chaos until the very end of the Horus Heresy.  No one knows if he actually is an atheist, though.  I mean, the very existence of the Warp would imply there are things beyond imagining out there, sooo... Besides, Eldrad's orders were the reason for the Eldar's raids. Not something that screams trustworthiness.  Especially when the raiders hail from a ''post scarcity society'' and so have literally no reason to go raiding but for teh lulz.
* GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
* GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN


GRAND DAD IS LOVE
After the Ullanor Crusade, the Emperor announced that he was returning to Terra, saying that his sons were to prove that they were the leaders he had made them to be, and appointed [[Horus]], Primarch of the [[Black Legion|Luna Wolves]], as Warmaster of the Great Crusade, and withdrew to the Imperial Palace. In truth, the Emperor was ready to begin his next phase of star travel, creating a [[Webway]] portal under the Palace using the Golden Throne. Unfortunately, the Emperor's detachment from humanity created a great deal of rivalry and resentment among his sons, and his failure to fully explain matters to his sons only exacerbated the situation. The [[Chaos|Ruinous Powers]] were quick to take advantage of these weak spots, and slowly but steadily began to corrupt some of the [[Primarchs]].
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER


[[Category: Meme]][[Category: GRAND DAD]][[Category: GRAND DAD Fantasy]]
This culminated with the [[Horus Heresy]].
 
==See Also==
*[[The Last Church]], a short story taking place towards the end of the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]]'s conquest of [[Terra]] in which a priest wins an argument against the Emperor about religion and both of them prove ignorant of the actual history of the ancient Crusades (or the Emperor using them as an example proved himself wrong intentionally as a sort of wink at the readers by the author).
 
{{40k-Timeline}}
 
[[Category:Imperial]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Revision as of 00:51, 8 February 2020

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat."

– Winston Churchill

"The day of small nations has long passed away. The day of Empires has come."

– Joseph Chamberlain

" To ravage, to slaughter, to usurp under false titles, they call empire; and where they make a desert, they call it peace."

– Tacitus
You really can't get any better than this. Too bad one guy had to fuck it all up.

The Great Crusade was an important event in the history of Warhammer 40,000, seeing the formation of the Imperium of Man and reunification of humanity, and is basically the best time to be alive - If you are a loyal subject of the Emperor, that is. If not, you are endangered by just being in this galaxy, and try as hard as you can to stay out of the Imperium's reach until they are done with their megalomanic crusade.

The Emperor Emerges

For much of the 20,000's, Terra and the other human colonies were driven by war after the rebellion of the Iron Men, an era later known as the Age of Strife. The techno-barbarians (UNTZ! UNTZ!) ruled little fiefdoms on once-proud Terra, and all seemed lost.

Then, the Emperor of Mankind appeared in M28, and started conquering Terra, piece by piece. His army consisted of the predecessors of Space Marines, the Thunder Warriors, using powered armor that wasn't even void-sealed, of course they still had massive pauldrons and were in fact preposterously OP even relative to Marines millenia later, but unsustainable collectively and genetically unstable individually.

This was approximately the time that he decided that religion was bad for humanity and violently implemented the Imperial Truth, the conclusion of which can be seen in the story The Last Church.

The Next Step

Of course, Terra wasn't enough for the Emperor; he wanted to rule over all of Humanity. He had already arranged for the Void Dragon to be sealed on Mars so that, by this time in history, he would have the Adeptus Mechanicus to build awesome weapons for his armies, and now he needed some armies to wield those weapons. And to lead those armies, he needed generals, so he started the Primarch Project in M29, creating twenty super-human warriors, his sons, and his generals. The Gods of Chaos perceived this project to be a threat to them, so they scattered the Primarchs throughout the galaxy, bringing them to experiences which would eventually turn many of them against their father. Still, the Emperor had enough data to create his Space Marine Legions based on their DNA, what would later be called the First Founding (and was at the time known as the Only Founding). He sent the Legions out to find their Primarchs, and to re-unite the human colonies as they went.

The Age of the Imperium

Over the course of the next two hundred years or so, the Space Marine Legions found their Primarchs, and the Imperium of Man grew, world by world, until it spanned almost the whole galaxy. Many Xenos were exterminated along the way, as well as non-Imperial human civilizations like the Interex as the Emperor believed them to be a threat to his dominance. Between this directive and the influence of his Slaaneshi daemon blade, Fulgrim wiped out many Eldar worlds, which resulted in mutual animosity between the Imperium and the Eldar for millennia to come. Of course, considering the Eldar had been frequently raiding human worlds throughout the Age of Strife, tough shit. It was generally considered a pretty fun move on Fulgrim's part. To be fair, though, nearly all the xenos killed had descended upon human worlds during the Age of Strife and turned them into "Nightmare Worlds". As you might imagine, the crusading Imperium was not amused. In fact, most worlds added to the Imperium were of this sort, which went a long way to entrenching humanity's hatred of all things alien. Even the Jovian(for reference, Jupiter) colonies in the Sol system were pretty much horror-infested hellholes ruled over by incalculably cruel alien overlords. While Eldrad tried to contact the Emperor to warn him that he should be more concerned with stopping Chaos than with expanding the Imperium, the Emperor refused to listen to him. Both because Eldrad ordered his forces to attack Fulgrim upon realizing the Primarch was corrupted without realizing that A) Fulgrim was not yet corrupted by the sword and could still be saved and B) attacking a Primarch is unbelievably stupid if you want to live. It didn't hurt that the Emperor's creation of the Imperium was performed in a way crafted by Him to specifically act as an anti-Chaos civilization by virtue of being not only massive but also atheist. Shame he didn't realize faith hurt Chaos until the very end of the Horus Heresy. No one knows if he actually is an atheist, though. I mean, the very existence of the Warp would imply there are things beyond imagining out there, sooo... Besides, Eldrad's orders were the reason for the Eldar's raids. Not something that screams trustworthiness. Especially when the raiders hail from a post scarcity society and so have literally no reason to go raiding but for teh lulz.

After the Ullanor Crusade, the Emperor announced that he was returning to Terra, saying that his sons were to prove that they were the leaders he had made them to be, and appointed Horus, Primarch of the Luna Wolves, as Warmaster of the Great Crusade, and withdrew to the Imperial Palace. In truth, the Emperor was ready to begin his next phase of star travel, creating a Webway portal under the Palace using the Golden Throne. Unfortunately, the Emperor's detachment from humanity created a great deal of rivalry and resentment among his sons, and his failure to fully explain matters to his sons only exacerbated the situation. The Ruinous Powers were quick to take advantage of these weak spots, and slowly but steadily began to corrupt some of the Primarchs.

This culminated with the Horus Heresy.

See Also

  • The Last Church, a short story taking place towards the end of the Emperor's conquest of Terra in which a priest wins an argument against the Emperor about religion and both of them prove ignorant of the actual history of the ancient Crusades (or the Emperor using them as an example proved himself wrong intentionally as a sort of wink at the readers by the author).